"The Whole Nine Yards"
The Whole Nine Yards (2000) is a film I am especially fond of, and, with The Whole Ten Yards due for release, it was time to redo my images, and talk a little bit about it. My intention was to grab the frames I needed and move on to something else, and I ended up watching it again start to finish. In case you haven't seen it, it is a broad comedy about a dentist (Mathiew Perry) married to a shrew (Rosanna Arquette) who wants him dead, a hitman (Bruce Willis), who has just moved next door, and his assistant (Amanda Peet). Everyone is plotting to kill everyone else, and I have never seen a film with as many twists all of which were believable, and many unexpected.
The one sour note was Arquette's performance, mainly because of an irritating French accent. Fortunately, her part was not that long. Willis was phenomenal, and Peet nearly sole the show when she was on screen. Peet is naked, but with a balcony railing hiding her crotch, but we get long looks at her breasts. IMDb readers have it at 6.6 of 10, yet it grossed $57.3M against a budget of $24M. Ebert awards three stars, Berardinelli only two. Were I to use a four star system, I would score it three or three and 1/2, but, with our rating system, the proper score is probably C+.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
A very cool movie about poker and card hustling as a
way of life. A must-see if you are into cards, a watchable movie if
not, because Ed Norton and Matt Damon create interesting lead
I have to take a few points off because it stars
gorgeous Gretchen Mol as the love interest, and she keeps her
clothes on. The only nudity comes from Brainscan's favorite actress,
My Family Mi Familia (1995):
Gregory Nava may be the most underrated writer/director on the
planet. This movie came out within the past decade, gets a big four
stars from Roger Ebert (and a near miss from James Berardinelli), is
beautifully written, filmed and scored, but nobody has ever heard of
the motherfucker. It has a whopping five reviews at Rotten Tomatoes.
The story is about a Mexican immigrant family in East L.A. Filled
with interesting characters, warmth, and humanity. As for the
photography ... well just look at the screen caps in the
- Elpidia Carrillo (1,
Carrillo has also done nudity in at least two other films:
- The Honorary Consul (aka Beyond the Limit) ((1,
- Salvador (1,
One naughty .wmv:
- Four free short videos from
- The Bernaola Twins were the Playmates of the Month in January
2000. Here is their
Playmate Gallery Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!
Homocil - "because it's your problem, not theirs"
Here's a frontal view of the Alanis Morissette nude suit.
Jon Stewart interviews Jerry Seinfled.
- The trailer from then French film,
Time of the Wolf : "When Anna and her family arrive at
their holiday home, they find it occupied by strangers. This
confrontation is just the beginning of a painful learning
- The first eight minutes and a clip from
I'm Not Scared
- The first eight minutes and some clips from
Close Your Eyes. Hypotherapist Dr Michael Strother has
a dangerous gift; he gets flashes from inside of his patients’
minds. While trying to help a detective, he sees an image of a
young girl floating below the surface of a stream. He is soon
caught up in the detective’s pursuit of a ritualistic killer who
believes he has found the secret of immortality. Now only Michael
can help release her memories, and provide a clue to the
whereabouts of the killer.
- Two clips from
Kill Bill Vol. 2.
U.S. OUTSOURCES OBESITY TO INDIA. Supersizing Rampant
The Daily Show reports on negative political ads.
- Good to know:
The experts have pinpointed the 40 top spots to be abducted by
aliens in Britain. One of them is Stratford-upon-Avon.
No wonder Shakespeare was so smart!
The global warming to melt the Statue of Liberty like a beeswax
candle under a scorching desert sun. (Weekly World
Medical industry has cures for everything, but won't release them
because they'd be out of business.
Toaster from Hell burns Satan's face into your toast.
(Weekly World News)
Nuria Bermudez says she shagged Beckham, too.
Anne Hathaway offers a preview of what those nude scenes will look
like in Havoc.
You think your job sucks? Praise the lord you're not a whale
masturbator. Even Tom Green turned this job down.
Carson Daly to get "lifetime achievement award", presented by last
year's winner, Haley Joel Osment.
23 year old Brit takes early Masters lead. He's played
only one previous Masters, finishing 39th.
An interpretation of Jesus's final hours, called 14, involves a
naked woman drowning in a tank of vodka. Whoa. I have
to re-read the Bible. It's a lot cooler than I thought. And a lot
more Slavic! OK, best bible movie ... Passion of the Christ or
Nine 1/2 Weeks?
Judge Roy Moore For President "George W. Bush, on the
other hand, has betrayed the Republican Party's Christian base,
with half-hearted, insincere devotion to God in his public
policies. Bush has lost our faith. Roy Moore is the man to bring
faith back to America!". If Soros really wants to do something to
defeat Bush, this campaign is where he should spend his money.
Tigers win home opener, go to 4-0.
Peter Bogdanovich to direct film about Pete Rose
'Will & Grace' star Debra Messing gives birth to a son
Some Highish Brows Furrow as a Car Critic Gets a Pulitzer
- The new trailer from
The Stepford Wives. From what I've seen so far, this
has the word "turkey" carved all over it.
- The Supreme Irony:
U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia spoke to high school
students about the importance of protecting the rights provided by
the Constitution, while the recording devices of two reporters
were confiscated by a federal marshal. During Scalia's
speech at the high school, U.S. Marshal Melanie Rube demanded that
a reporter with The Associated Press erase a tape recording of the
justice's remarks. Yeah, those kids must have picked up some
important "free press tips" from that. Last year, Scalia was
criticized for refusing to allow television and radio coverage of
an event in Ohio in which he received an award for supporting free
This Modern World: A Terrifying Election
Comedy Central's Jon Stewart takes on Electronic Voting and the
Fox News truth squad.
Robert Rodriguez may have to drop A Princess of Mars because of
- The latest fashion trend?
Dutch surgeons implant eyeball jewelry. I didn't make
this up, and it's not from The Onion or something like that. It
seems to be the real deal.
Coming Soon liked The Punisher. I've gotten mixed vibes
on this one. When I fitst saw the costumes, I thought it would be
outrageously bad, but the previews look pretty cool, Thomas Jane
is a cool dude, and Travolta is an effective bad guy if under some
Clear Channel drops Howard Stern after Feds levy massive indecency
Slightly naughty wallpapers
The NCAA Sour 16: Hoops and Helmets Sour 16 - Which
schools had the worst combination of football and basketball? It's
tough to argue with West Point, which went 6-21 in hoops, and 0-13
with the pigskin.
Steve, Don't Eat It! Vol. 5 - Breast Milk.
Probation given to a woman who made hoax bomb calls to avoid a
holiday with her boyfriend. I guess she never heard of
"just say no".
Keira Knightley targeted by stalker.
The official guide to the morality of outdoor pooping.
Does the Pope shit in the woods? Is a bear Catholic?
A British man who has sold all his possessions will bet everything
on a single spin of the roulette wheel.
Arkansas Twisters dance/cheer squad, the Sirens
Elisha Cuthbert says she will "probably" never do a nude scene.
- Unusual laws department:
It's OK to fuck a sheep, and it's OK to eat a sheep - but not the
College freshman uses naughty web site to help pay for tuition.
The pics show her in her dorm room. "Lewd, indecent or
obscene conduct" on University property is against the student
code of conduct.
New Pics from De-Lovely (Coel Porter biopic starring
Steven Seagal's Mountain Dew commercial is surprisingly good.
- I've been talking about some of this year's possible Razzie
winners, and I wasn't even aware that we should remember
The Alamo . It seems to be a strong contender. 0% at
Rotten Tomatoes, and this comment from reviewer Steve Rhodes,
"John Lee Hancock's THE ALAMO is cartoonishly awful!"
- Four free short videos from
SPICE UNCENSORED!, clips
too raunchy for Spice TV
- Stacy Sanches was the Playmate of the Year in 1996. Here is
her free, nude
Playmate Gallery, courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!
- Lots of stills and a trailer for
Breakin all the Rules, a film about a man who, after
being unceremoniously dumped by his fiancée, pens a "how to" book
on breaking up and becomes a best-selling author on the subject.
Not wanting his male friends to suffer the same fate, he gives
them advice on dumping their mates.
JoBlo's movie review of The Girl Next Door, with Elisha Cuthbert.
- A new clip from the comedy,
- Four new clips from
Astronomy pic of the day: Jellyfish Nebula
American Public Expects Gas Price Increase to Be Permanent
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
Not too many Shiloh vids today. These are very big
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmvversions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
First up...A couple of quickees. Paparazzi edits of the
incredibly edible Anne Hathaway.
You see certain names in a movie title and you know
what there is to watch. Sinful? Erotic thriller.
Midnight? Stripper movie. Lethal? Buddy cop show.
Which leads us to... Bikini.
You got your Bikini Summers, and your Bikini Carwash
Companies and your Great Bikini Off-Road Adventures.
You even got your Bikini Med School, which just has to
be an off-shore institute of higher learning.
Then you got your Bikini Hotel, which is a really good
idea, if'n you ask me. Tis a story of inheritance and
competition, culminating in a brisk game of putt-putt
golf. There are the usual characters, including a
pair of Asian tourists who look and act like long-lost
twin brothers of Long Duc Dong. And everything is so
very funny.... not. Bikini Hotel is impossible to
take seriously, even for those who made it, and that's
what makes it watchable. That and a bunch of nekkid
A while back I sent in caps of Julie Strain from this
opus. Today completes the list with five more babes.
JJ North plays the heiress of a run-down hotel that
she rejuvenates by hiring bikini-clad and -unclad
women to people its staff. She gets topless a few
times and shows her bum in a thong. JJ is a veteran
B-movie bim with robo-hooters about two sizes too
large. Note to aspiring actresses... when shopping
for after-marker equipment, less is more and anything
more than less is awful.
Katie Colburn stars as the head maid, with a penchant
for strip-poker. She loses a lot. IMDB thinks that
Katie Colburn is CC Costigan. Now, I'll allow that CC
Costigan also sports a pair of outrageous robo-hooters
and I'll even allow that CC Costigan uses the name,
Katie Colburn. but I can't see how even the most
radical surgery could turn the Katie Colburn of this
movie into CC Costigan. A couple of DVD purveyors
claim this Katie is an Australian Penthouse Pet.
Okay, that I'll believe. Katie wanders around in a
teeney, weeney bikini. You see her bum in the second
collage, her enhanced hooties in the other two.
- Katie Colburn
- Jr's note, I agree with Brainscan on this one...this Kaite Colburn is not CC Costigan. Here's a collage of Costigan from "Passion's Obsession" as proof.
Bianca Rocelili is another maid, whose top pops off
while cleaning the room of the Asian tourists. They
Tonya Manly plays someone's girlfriend. What you need
to know about Tonya Manley is that a) she's an exotic
dancer; b) she uses the name, Fantasia; c) she has
starred in videos with the words "Boob Cruise" and
"Ben Dover" in them. From that you can predict that
she sports the most outrageous pair of robo-hooters
ever conceived by the mind of man. Would love to have
overheard the conversation with her plastic surgeon,
as he brings out two official NBA basketballs and she
says, "Those. I want those."
Last up is Tina-Desiree Berg. Slim woman with sharp
features. Keeps her clothes on but runs around in
lingerie during the putt-putt golf thing. Tina-D also
served as this movie's producer and casting associate
and costume designer. Busy woman... for a while.
So in the end all is fun and games. Add skimpy
clothes most of the time and bare boobs and bums some
of the time and you got yourself a movie you won't
Some tight clothes and assorted teasing from TV.
- Masiela Lusha, the busty young actress on the "George Lopez" show.
- Sarah Silverman, the actress/comedian bending herself over the desk during an appearance on "Jimmy Kimmel Live".
- Kelly Ripa, the actress and talk show host showing some cleavage on "Hope & Faith".
- Jean Louisa Kelly, wearing tight work out clothes on a episode of "Yes Dear".
||Gorgeous toplessness and full frontal nudity by French actress in scenes from the Bernardo Bertolucci movie, "The Dreamers" (2003). Many thanks to LC.
|Paparazzi pics of the tennis player turned celebrity in a bikini. #1 is a pretty good rear view.
|Señor Skin 'caps of the Skinemax babe showing all 3 B's, including an up close and personal gyno-view in link #8. Scenes from "Web of Seduction" (1999).
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
FREQUENT EJACULATION GOOD FOR YOU
Get A Grip On Yourself - A National Cancer Institute study of 29,000 men
found that despite what your parents may have told you, frequent masturbation can
save your life. Frequent ejaculations decrease the concentration of
carcinogens that accumulate in prostatic fluid. They found that men in the
most-frequent group, at least 21 ejaculations a month, had a 33 percent lower risk of
All right! I'm gonna live FOREVER!
This is why teenage boys almost NEVER get prostate cancer.
So if you get caught at work surfing for porn, just say you're engaging in
preventative health care.
NEW FAD: EYEBALL JEWELRY
Eh, What Could It Hurt? - The Netherlands Institute for Innovative Ocular
Surgery in Rotterdam (www.NIIOC.nl) is offering something new: eyeball jewelry.
They implant a small half-moon, heart or other design into the eye's mucous
membrane, off to the side of the pupil. There's already a waiting list. A
spokesman said they've seen no side effects so far, and that it's fun, very
personal and "a little more subtle than body piercing."
In fact, blink and you'll miss it.
Although they are willing to pierce your eyeball for a fee.
What better way to make people stop, look and say, "Eeeewww!!"
Can they implant one that looks like a second pupil? I like to freak
DVD PLAYER WILL EDIT MOVIES AUTOMATICALLY
The Ashcroft 5000 - Hollywood is up in arms over Wal-Mart and Kmart's
decision to carry a new RCA DVD player that automatically skips sexual content,
graphic violence and offensive language. It uses filtering software called
ClearPlay, whose developers are being sued by a group of directors who claim
ClearPlay makes an unauthorized version of their movies and allows unqualified people
to alter their copyrighted work.
And George Lucas worked so hard to make those last "Star Wars" movies
PERFECT!...Say, do they have one that removes boring stretches and Jar-Jar Binks
If you're pressed for time, you can watch "Kill Bill" in 30 seconds.
The people who buy it won't want it after they see what it does to "The
Passion of the Christ."
I want one that skips everything BUT the sex and violence.
They're also developing software that puts clothes on naked people, so you
can finally read Playboy for the articles.
DONALD TRUMP CHICKEN NEW ROUND-UP
Is That A Chicken Joke? - Tuesday, Donald Trump showed up at his casino in
Coachella, California, and played the new "Apprentice Chicken Challenge," a game
in which you play tic-tac-toe against a trained chicken in a booth. Trump
beat the chicken and won $250.
The chicken was smart enough to let him win.
After the chicken lost $250 of his casino's money, Trump pointed at her
and said, "You're fried!"
They're Used To Jobs With Name Tags - In other "Apprentice" chicken news, KFC
offered a job to whichever contestant is the first runner-up.
It's a great position: "Executive Assistant Deep-fryer Operator."
I've seen their business skills: I'm sure MOST of them could get a job at
When Trump's trained chicken is tired of playing tic-tac-toe, she'll also
go to KFC.