"The Whole Nine Yards"

The Whole Nine Yards (2000) is a film I am especially fond of, and, with The Whole Ten Yards due for release, it was time to redo my images, and talk a little bit about it. My intention was to grab the frames I needed and move on to something else, and I ended up watching it again start to finish. In case you haven't seen it, it is a broad comedy about a dentist (Mathiew Perry) married to a shrew (Rosanna Arquette) who wants him dead, a hitman (Bruce Willis), who has just moved next door, and his assistant (Amanda Peet). Everyone is plotting to kill everyone else, and I have never seen a film with as many twists all of which were believable, and many unexpected.

The one sour note was Arquette's performance, mainly because of an irritating French accent. Fortunately, her part was not that long. Willis was phenomenal, and Peet nearly sole the show when she was on screen. Peet is naked, but with a balcony railing hiding her crotch, but we get long looks at her breasts. IMDb readers have it at 6.6 of 10, yet it grossed $57.3M against a budget of $24M. Ebert awards three stars, Berardinelli only two. Were I to use a four star system, I would score it three or three and 1/2, but, with our rating system, the proper score is probably C+.

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails

  • Amanda Peet (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Rounders (1998):

    A very cool movie about poker and card hustling as a way of life. A must-see if you are into cards, a watchable movie if not, because Ed Norton and Matt Damon create interesting lead characters.

    Long Review

    I have to take a few points off because it stars gorgeous Gretchen Mol as the love interest, and she keeps her clothes on. The only nudity comes from Brainscan's favorite actress, Unknown Stripper.

    •  Strippers (1, 2)


    My Family Mi Familia (1995):

    Gregory Nava may be the most underrated writer/director on the planet. This movie came out within the past decade, gets a big four stars from Roger Ebert (and a near miss from James Berardinelli), is beautifully written, filmed and scored, but nobody has ever heard of the motherfucker. It has a whopping five reviews at Rotten Tomatoes. Five.

    The story is about a Mexican immigrant family in East L.A. Filled with interesting characters, warmth, and humanity. As for the photography ... well just look at the screen caps in the Long Review

    • Elpidia Carrillo (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Carrillo has also done nudity in at least two other films:

    • The Honorary Consul (aka Beyond the Limit) ((1, 2, 3)
    • Salvador (1, 2)



    One naughty .wmv:





    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

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    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.


    Susan George

    Not too many Shiloh vids today. These are very big downloads.


    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmvversions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    First up...A couple of quickees. Paparazzi edits of the incredibly edible Anne Hathaway.

    • Anne Hathaway (1, 2, 3)


    You see certain names in a movie title and you know what there is to watch. Sinful? Erotic thriller. Midnight? Stripper movie. Lethal? Buddy cop show. Which leads us to... Bikini.

    You got your Bikini Summers, and your Bikini Carwash Companies and your Great Bikini Off-Road Adventures. You even got your Bikini Med School, which just has to be an off-shore institute of higher learning.

    Then you got your Bikini Hotel, which is a really good idea, if'n you ask me. Tis a story of inheritance and competition, culminating in a brisk game of putt-putt golf. There are the usual characters, including a pair of Asian tourists who look and act like long-lost twin brothers of Long Duc Dong. And everything is so very funny.... not. Bikini Hotel is impossible to take seriously, even for those who made it, and that's what makes it watchable. That and a bunch of nekkid babes.

    A while back I sent in caps of Julie Strain from this opus. Today completes the list with five more babes.

    JJ North plays the heiress of a run-down hotel that she rejuvenates by hiring bikini-clad and -unclad women to people its staff. She gets topless a few times and shows her bum in a thong. JJ is a veteran B-movie bim with robo-hooters about two sizes too large. Note to aspiring actresses... when shopping for after-marker equipment, less is more and anything more than less is awful.

    • JJ North (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Katie Colburn stars as the head maid, with a penchant for strip-poker. She loses a lot. IMDB thinks that Katie Colburn is CC Costigan. Now, I'll allow that CC Costigan also sports a pair of outrageous robo-hooters and I'll even allow that CC Costigan uses the name, Katie Colburn. but I can't see how even the most radical surgery could turn the Katie Colburn of this movie into CC Costigan. A couple of DVD purveyors claim this Katie is an Australian Penthouse Pet. Okay, that I'll believe. Katie wanders around in a teeney, weeney bikini. You see her bum in the second collage, her enhanced hooties in the other two.

    • Katie Colburn (1, 2, 3)
    • Jr's note, I agree with Brainscan on this one...this Kaite Colburn is not CC Costigan. Here's a collage of Costigan from "Passion's Obsession" as proof.

    Bianca Rocelili is another maid, whose top pops off while cleaning the room of the Asian tourists. They are delighted.

    Tonya Manly plays someone's girlfriend. What you need to know about Tonya Manley is that a) she's an exotic dancer; b) she uses the name, Fantasia; c) she has starred in videos with the words "Boob Cruise" and "Ben Dover" in them. From that you can predict that she sports the most outrageous pair of robo-hooters ever conceived by the mind of man. Would love to have overheard the conversation with her plastic surgeon, as he brings out two official NBA basketballs and she says, "Those. I want those."

    • Tonya Manly (1, 2)

    Last up is Tina-Desiree Berg. Slim woman with sharp features. Keeps her clothes on but runs around in lingerie during the putt-putt golf thing. Tina-D also served as this movie's producer and casting associate and costume designer. Busy woman... for a while.

    So in the end all is fun and games. Add skimpy clothes most of the time and bare boobs and bums some of the time and you got yourself a movie you won't mind watching.

    Some tight clothes and assorted teasing from TV.

    • Masiela Lusha, the busty young actress on the "George Lopez" show.

    • Sarah Silverman, the actress/comedian bending herself over the desk during an appearance on "Jimmy Kimmel Live".

    • Kelly Ripa, the actress and talk show host showing some cleavage on "Hope & Faith".

    • Jean Louisa Kelly, wearing tight work out clothes on a episode of "Yes Dear".

    Eva Green Gorgeous toplessness and full frontal nudity by French actress in scenes from the Bernardo Bertolucci movie, "The Dreamers" (2003). Many thanks to LC.

    Anna Kournikova
    (1, 2, 3)

    Paparazzi pics of the tennis player turned celebrity in a bikini. #1 is a pretty good rear view.

    Nancy O'Brien
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the Skinemax babe showing all 3 B's, including an up close and personal gyno-view in link #8. Scenes from "Web of Seduction" (1999).

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Get A Grip On Yourself - A National Cancer Institute study of 29,000 men found that despite what your parents may have told you, frequent masturbation can save your life. Frequent ejaculations decrease the concentration of carcinogens that accumulate in prostatic fluid. They found that men in the most-frequent group, at least 21 ejaculations a month, had a 33 percent lower risk of prostate cancer.

  • All right! I'm gonna live FOREVER!
  • This is why teenage boys almost NEVER get prostate cancer.
  • So if you get caught at work surfing for porn, just say you're engaging in preventative health care.

    Eh, What Could It Hurt? - The Netherlands Institute for Innovative Ocular Surgery in Rotterdam ( is offering something new: eyeball jewelry. They implant a small half-moon, heart or other design into the eye's mucous membrane, off to the side of the pupil. There's already a waiting list. A spokesman said they've seen no side effects so far, and that it's fun, very personal and "a little more subtle than body piercing."

  • In fact, blink and you'll miss it.
  • Although they are willing to pierce your eyeball for a fee.
  • What better way to make people stop, look and say, "Eeeewww!!"
  • Can they implant one that looks like a second pupil? I like to freak people out.

    The Ashcroft 5000 - Hollywood is up in arms over Wal-Mart and Kmart's decision to carry a new RCA DVD player that automatically skips sexual content, graphic violence and offensive language. It uses filtering software called ClearPlay, whose developers are being sued by a group of directors who claim ClearPlay makes an unauthorized version of their movies and allows unqualified people to alter their copyrighted work.

  • And George Lucas worked so hard to make those last "Star Wars" movies PERFECT!...Say, do they have one that removes boring stretches and Jar-Jar Binks from movies?
  • If you're pressed for time, you can watch "Kill Bill" in 30 seconds.
  • The people who buy it won't want it after they see what it does to "The Passion of the Christ."
  • I want one that skips everything BUT the sex and violence.
  • They're also developing software that puts clothes on naked people, so you can finally read Playboy for the articles.

    Is That A Chicken Joke? - Tuesday, Donald Trump showed up at his casino in Coachella, California, and played the new "Apprentice Chicken Challenge," a game in which you play tic-tac-toe against a trained chicken in a booth. Trump beat the chicken and won $250.

  • The chicken was smart enough to let him win.
  • After the chicken lost $250 of his casino's money, Trump pointed at her and said, "You're fried!"

    They're Used To Jobs With Name Tags - In other "Apprentice" chicken news, KFC offered a job to whichever contestant is the first runner-up.

  • It's a great position: "Executive Assistant Deep-fryer Operator."
  • I've seen their business skills: I'm sure MOST of them could get a job at KFC.
  • When Trump's trained chicken is tired of playing tic-tac-toe, she'll also go to KFC.