"Is There Sex After Death?"
Is There Sex After Death? (1971) is one of those comedy sketch things with one ridiculous sketch after another. Notable cast members include Robert Downey Sr, and the Andy Warhol icon Holly Woodlawn. The premise is a sex research organization, with a central facility, and mobile crisis vans. Probably the most inspired scene is the ending one, the heterosexual finals of the world sex championships, with blow by blow narration. We have an X rated magician, who, among other things pulls 20 scarfs from a woman's vagina, and produces a mans wristwatch at the end of the scarfs. Then there is the breast enhancement clinic, interviews at a nudist colony, an on set interview with a porn producer who got his start making VD films in the army, and interviews with the dumbest men on the street ever put on film.
It is almost non-stop nudity. The cast list was huge, but I was only able to identify 4 of the women. Iris Brooks shows breasts in the breast enhancement clinic, Helen G Ross does a full frontal in the magic act, and Mar Elaine Monty and Stemanie Skura show breasts in the porno sequence. Many of the unknowns show everything, bit male and female. This is rated X, although the sex is likely all simulated, and the entire thing is intended as a comedy. It is rated 3.1 at IMDb, with only 25 votes. There are no reviews available. It was written by Buck Henry, best known for Catch 22, The Graduate, and To Die For. This is a good example of this genre, wich, thank god, seems to no longer be made, and is hence a C.
Mary Elaine Monti
Virgin Sacrifice (1956) is a typical jungle film of the era. A white hunter is headed down river to meet is partner, finds the partner dead, remembers witnessing a human sacrifice on an earlier trip, then goes to see his friend, a missionary, and his daughter. The friend is murdered, and the daughter taken to be used for sacrifice. Our hero must track them down and fight to the death with the Indian chief. Yes, it is typical, except for one thing. Linda Cordova has a lengthy topless scene during the flashback to the ritual sacrifice. I could be wrong, but I think this is the only topless scene I have seen in a 1950s film.
The film is not at all good. It is mostly narrated, the camera spends more time on the flora and fauna than on the action, and their is essentially no acting at all. Further, the transfer looks like it is nearly 50 years old. It is part of a jungle triple feature from Something Weird Video, and it is certainly something weird. This is notable only for the early nudity, and is an E at best.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
The Matrix Revolutions (2003):
Rolling Stone put it bluntly and succinctly:
risk of understatement, The Matrix Revolutions sucks. It's
not that the final chapter in the trilogy doesn't have stunts and
visual wizardry to drop your jaw. It's just that it all adds up to a
supersize nothing: "the big bubkis," to lift a bit of Yiddish from
the script by Andy and Larry Wachowski ... Morpheus and Niobe
are piloting a tin-can hovercraft through a sewer line, shaking
their bodies to mimic a bumpy ride in a scene that would shame Ed
Needcoffee.com was even more to the
... whatever third movie you
envisioned in your head, no matter how lame, has got to be better
Amen, brothers. Amen.
Once upon a time there was a film
called The Matrix, which came from nowhere to dazzle the world with
a great concept and a stunning combination of innovative special
effects and archetypal characters. It was a fairly simple movie
which feature two worlds: earthly and virtual. In the virtual
world, humans seemed to be living their lives as we live them now
but, in effect, that entire construct was simply a computer program
(the matrix) being fed into the heads of humans who were simply
being harvested for energy by machines. In the real world, the earth
had grown black and dreary, covered with the infernal machines, and
the very few humans left on the planet were living far underground,
trying to escape detection and their seemingly inevitable
vanquishment. The real humans occasionally penetrated the computer
program in order to accomplish various tasks related to their hope
for the eventual liberation of mankind.
Not really that confusing at all.
In the sequels, all sense of
coherence is abandoned, and there are layers upon layers of reality.
Have some of the machines, all looking like Agent Smith, turned
against the program for some singular purpose? Or is that what the
program would like us to believe? Are there other humans who live
outside the Matrix? Do some of them have to do with the very
creation and upkeep of the matrix? Perhaps even the humans who live
outside the matrix are simply more computer illusions designed by
the program to combat the natural human desire for freedom? Perhaps
when a human mind struggles for freedom from the matrix, he is cast
into matrix 2, where he gets the illusion that he is free from the
matrix? And who the hell are the psychic and the architect and the
Frenchman? Are they real? Are they part of the matrix? Are they part
of the unproven matrix 2? Is this a middle word between the Matrix
I was one of the few who liked Matrix
Reloaded, except for the interminable fight scenes which defied all
logic. Ol' Keanu would fight someone to a virtual standstill until he
decided to use his REALLY super-duper powers to triumph or leave
immediately. Why didn't he just
start the fight on the higher level? Because the movie would have
been too short. Fight scenes padded it out to a feature length.
There were some confusing elements of Reloaded, but I thought, "OK,
it's a middle chapter. Its very job is to intrigue us with mysteries
to be clarified in number three."
Number three is just confusing
gibberish. I watched it to hear the explanations and to see how
everything got resolved.
I still have no idea.
The following chart says it all:
||% positive reviews
* ratio is the total gross divided by the opening weekend gross.
Great word of mouth results in a high ratio.
To follow a $281 million dollar film with a $139
million dollar film is improbable under any circumstances, but seems
downright impossible when the high-grossing middle chapter includes
cliffhangers to be resolved in the third one. Didn't people care how
it came out?
There are some explanations:
The $281 gross for #2 was misleading.
That really represents four years of anticipation and a sense that
it was a must-see follow-up to one of the greatest films ever made.
(The Matrix is rated #32 of all time at IMDb.) The actual advance demand for
#3 wasn't as great as might be indicated by the box office for
#2. The Matrix Reloaded, number 2 in the series, was already the
focus of a lot of disrespect. Indicating a lower level of
interest than expected, the third one only grossed $48 million in
its opening weekend, about half of what the second one grossed,
The word of mouth on #3 itself couldn't have
been much worse, so the disappointment at the starting block was
reinforced by an even
more disappointing distance run. You saw the comments from Rolling
Stone and Need Coffee above. Those are the kinds of comments people
were making at their water coolers at work. To use an old saw,
"people stayed away in droves".
To answer my original question, most
people didn't care how it all came out, and if they did care enough
to see number three, they still don't know how it all came out ...
... and they told their friends to
Because it was a film that was both
mentally and physically sloppy, filled with as many continuity
problems as it was with logic problems, some reviewers expressed
outright anger at the poor quality of this film.
I couldn't bring myself to feel that.
All I could feel was a sense of sadness for the how much difference
there was between what this film was and what it might have been,
and an even greater sadness for the Wachowski brothers, who seemed
to be on top of the world in the Spring of 2003, when they were
known as the makers of one of the fifty best films of all time, and
had been ranked #27 in Premiere's annual Power 100.
The Wachowskis' previous film before
The Matrix had grossed less than four million dollars, so by the
time Matrix Reloaded was about to be released, it must have seemed
to them as if they had actually managed to grasp the very heavens. They
seemed to have achieved every dream they could had ever had for
their lives and then gone far beyond that. Now they are in danger of
becoming the Phillip Michael Thomas story of their generation -
going from nowhere to superstardom and universal recognition, only
to disappear right back into their former obscurity when their 15
minutes expire. Unless they can pull a massive rescue job on their
careers, they can forget about those power lunches with Tom Cruise
and Spielberg, and should hope that Screech and Danny Bonaduce are
still taking their calls.
Hope Springs (2003):
This romantic comedy movie was such a bomb in Europe
that al Qaeda was jealous. Based on the reaction of the London press
and public (think lynch mob), and the fact that none of the three
stars has any significant box office appeal in North America, the
film was never released theatrically in America.
I guess you may know why I watched it. If not - Heather Graham
does a lengthy nude scene. The film is rated PG-13, so you know the
editing was designed to hide everything, but I counted on either the
power of the pause button or the presence of deleted scenes.
general result: unsatisfactory. No deleted scenes, no bum, no
nipples, no crotch. Only the sides of breasts and a top half of one
of Heather's areola.
- Heather Graham (1,
- Minnie Driver (1,
Fokking Beer: "According to web lore, there is a microbrewery
in the Northeast which produces a very fine pilsener, using their
family name and their best German brewing methods. Their
marketing, however, is modern and American. Here are some of the
best Fokking slogans you'll ever hear. "
- Here's the episode that started
Killing Spree I. If you like it, you'll find several more on
- Here is a new behind-the-scenes
Masturbation increases life expectancy. Bill Maher is immortal.
Jackie said JFK sucked in the sack. Or didn't suck in the
sack, because if he sucked than he wouldn't suck. ... oh, no, get
Shatner on the line. I've fallen for the Mudd's Robot Paradox
Donald Trump beats chicken at tic-tac-toe. In other news,
President Bush defeated a slug at Chutes and Ladders. Well, at
least he would have if the slug had played fair.
Greenland - Miami Beach of the future. And the property is
still so inexpensive. The article sounds pretty scary until you
realize that they are talking about the year 3004, not 2004.
Steve Guttenberg to star in Police Academy 8. When asked to
comment, sportscaster Marv Albert was heard to exclaim "Yesssssssssssssssssssssss!"
- Buzkashi results:
Al Qaeda Upset in Regional Final, Won't Make Final Four
The Afghan National Sport of Buzkashi. This is a real game,
played with a headless goat carcass instead of a ball, which
relects the pride, heritage, courage, and general insanity of the
Afghanis. Hey, back in school, we used to go at it playground
style, skins against turbans.
- Internet evangelism.
"I really think that if Jesus were around today, he would have a
blog." You mean he's not speaking through me? I felt him
guiding my hands. "Render therefore unto Gates the things that are
Gates's" Oh, wait. I think they mean Jesus Christ, not Jesus
Rivera. Never mind.
The Sun presents the alleged text messages between Becks and Beccs.
Either that, or they bought an old issue of Penthouse Forum.
The head of the Coors brewing empire, Pete Coors, will be a
Republican candidate for the U.S. Senate this fall. The
conservative Republican is one Coors who likes Bush.
President Bush tries to do math in his head.
A new DVD player automatically skips sexual content, graphically
violent scenes and language deemed offensive. I don't want
that one, but I want the exact opposite one that ONLY plays the
sex, violence, and offensive contents.
The worst scam ever - and it works: conmen take victims on 'magic'
FANTASTIC FOUR director revealed! Also, learn who's in
negotiations to star! Unexpected choice!
Ted Kennedy leads poetry reading. Y'know, I can't think of
anything that could make modern poetry better than being read by
Senator Kennedy. The Senator defined the greatest challenge to
modern verse as the need to create more rhymes for "Bush sucks".
Sure, "tush tucks" and "tush-fucks" and even "push bucks" are
good, but there's a whole new linguistic world out there, and we
need the new T.S. Eliot to explore it.
One of the great mysteries of aviation solved - parts from Saint-Exupery's
1944 wreck have been found. Interestingly, he has been playing
bridge for all these years with Amelia Earhart and Glenn Miller,
and they have been desperate for a fourth.
ChiTown takes reality TV to the next level.
- Still images and posters from
The Daily Show looks at The Sadr House Rules
- The international trailer for
Blind Horizon: "Val Kilmer will play the lead role of 'Frank,'
a gunshot amnesia victim who warns a small town sheriff about an
assassination plot against the President during his campaign tour,
and must uncover a conspiracy and his role in the plot."
A Mexican woman gave herself a c-section.
Houston Texan cheerleader tryouts
- Arena Football cheerleaders:
Albany Conquest cheer/dance team - the Treasures.
NHL season final power rankings: Red Wings enter postseason on top
The adventures of Clovis the Sweeper in the land of Joe Cartoon.
Strange, funny stuff.
Urban Legends is asked: "Does a Ford SportKa commercial shows a
cat being decapitated by a sunroof"
Doonesbury in hot water for having the Prez refer to Dr. Rice as
Fans: 'Alamo' Movie Heroes Not Heroic Enough
- The trailer for the gimmicky
13 Going on 30
Queen Elizabeth II of Britain cast a pall over her state visit to
Paris today by referring to the French people as "you bloody
wankers" and launching into a profanity-laden speech that
threw the future of Anglo-French relations into doubt.
EarthCam - Webcam Network- a gazillion live feeds
- You think you're a nerd?
This guy is already in line for Episode Three.
ACTION COMICS NO. 1 in its entirety - a cultural treasure.
Roseanne regrets being a rumpgap.
FallonFey.com - has now added the Weekend Update from the April 3
More incredibly dumb-lookin' but sexy stills from Catwoman.
(Could this be a Razzie contender with Garfield, Mask 2, and that
Administration wages war on porno.
Hubter S Thompson on the NCAA - The big finale was a big
Precise statistical analysis shows file sharing does not hurt CD
sales: "Peer-to-peer (P2P) sharing of music files over the
internet does not hurt new music sales, contrary to what some
music companies fear, a new study shows. 'Downloads have an effect
on sales which is statistically indistinguishable from zero,
despite rather precise estimates,' authors Felix Oberholtzer of
the Harvard Business School and Koleman Strumpf of the University
of North Carolina-Chapel Hill wrote."
- For fanatics,
The Complete Monty Python's Flying Circus Megaset: all 45 episodes
in chronological order, on 14 DVDs.
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
Patsy is living proof to Americans that not every
Englishwoman has Shakespearian acting credentials.
Here she is in Timebomb. (.avi
version, .wmv version). The cast of this movie includes one of
the girls from Petticoat Junction, and boxer Ray Boom-Boom Mancini.
I haven't seen it, but even Patsy must seem like Judi Dench in that
Here she is in Angels and Insects. Hey, she may be
no match for Dame Dench with Iambic Pentameter, but one must concede
she looks much better naked. (.avi version, .wmv version).
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmvversions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
First up from the Ghost....a few 'caps and .wmvs from the movie "Dream with the Fishes" (1997).
- Kathryn Erbe, the co-star of "Law & Order: Criminal Intent" is topless in a couple of scenes.
- Kathryn Erbe, a vid of each topless scene.
- Kristina Robbins, nekkid bowling.
- Kristina Robbins, nekkid bowling video clip.
Next...a few bonus .wmv files.
- Julie Benz, topless in a sex scene from the movie "Darkdrive" (1996).
- Sheryl Lee, rear nudity from the John Carpenter movie "Vampires" (1998).
- Tonie Perensky, doing a little topless dancing in scenes from "Varsity Blues" (1999).
|From the 1982 movie "Summer Lovers" (1982). Both ladies are topless and Hannah also bares her bum. This was one of Hannah's first movies, and she looked absolutely gorgeous.
|Brief breast views in links 1 and 2, plus some see-thru pokies in scenes from the 1988 movie "Spellbinder".
||Topless and far off full frontal nudity from 1994's "China Moon".
||The ultra-cute star of "24" looking lovely during a recent appearance on Conan O'Brien.
|Señor Skin 'caps of the Skinemax babe baring all (including some gyno-views) in scenes from "Web of Seduction" (1999).
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
COSMO GIRLS GO SPIRITUAL, BUT SHOPPING STILL #1 RELIGION
Not Much Mind To Read - Cosmopolitan, the magazine of sex, fashion and
shopping, is adding a column on spirituality. Editor Hannah Borno said,
"I've come to the painful realization that men and shoes are not enough to
make me happy. The key to true contentment lies elsewhere." Borno said
Cosmo readers don't want a lot of "mystical baggage;" they want tips and
techniques they can use and info on religions celebrities follow, such as
Madonna's involvement in Kabbalah. This "supermarket spirituality" was
borne out in a poll cited by Borno, who said over half of Cosmo readers
believe in the accuracy and tarot cards and palm-reading, and 38 percent
believe in mind-reading.
Is this for the Spirituality column or the Stupidity column?
If mind-reading is real, why do they have to do polls?
100 percent believe in whatever makes them feel good, whether it's tarot
cards, Kabbalah or multiple orgasms.
Cosmo readers want to know what kind of shoes Madonna wears when she
Cosmo readers went to see "The Passion of the Christ" because they
thought "passion" meant it would be sexy.
BOB DYLAN LINGERIE AD BAFFLES FANS
All I Really Want To Do - The New York Post reports that the new Victoria's
Secret TV commercials are causing a stir, with a squinting Bob Dylan
intercut with a young model cavorting through Venice in a bra and panties.
Fans wonder why the '60s icon agreed to make his first ad and why he chose
lingerie. One longtime New York DJ said it wasn't awful or wonderful,
"just strange." Dylan wouldn't comment, but Victoria's Secret said he
quickly agreed to do the spots, and there's been an uptick in sales.
But mostly because their new lingerie line is named "Lay, Lady, Lay."
It's already won a Clio Award for "Creepiest Commercial of the Year."
Dylan likes lingerie models, especially when the models, they are
Most Dylan fans don't realize that "Blonde On Blonde" was
actually about a lezzie encounter between two hot underwear models.
DOLLY PLANS TO DIE ONSTAGE AT 100
Hope Springs Eternal - Over the weekend, Dolly Parton performed at opening
day of her Dollywood theme park. She said she's also writing a Broadway
musical about her life, composing children's songs and planning the
expansion of Dollywood. The 58-year-old star declared, "I'll be like Bob
Hope, touring when I'm 100...I will never retire. I hope to fall dead in
the middle of some great event or some great song I'm singing. Then
they'll say, 'Oh well, she went happy and doing what she loves."'
And then, they'll demand their money back.
By the time she's 100, all her body parts will be synthetic, and she'll
just keep right on going.
She'll be touring when she's 100, but she'll look EXACTLY the same.
"GIRLS GONE WILD" EXPANDS
Don't Forget Condoms - Joe Francis, creator of the popular "Girls Gone
Wild" videos full of drunken college girls flashing their breasts, is
planning a major brand expansion. Francis wants to put the "Girls Gone
Wild" logo on everything, including clothes, a compilation CD of party
songs, a movie and a chain of restaurants, with the first one opening in
New York's Times Square. He's also launching a new video line, "Guys Gone
Wild," in which drunken young men are urged to drop their pants and moon
Really? That takes urging?
Something tells me this might not sell quite as big.
The "Girls Gone Wild" restaurant will serve beer, tequila, beer-battered
fish, and beer.
The restaurant will be just like Hooter's, only without the T-shirts.
At least once the movie is out, "From Justin To Kelly" will no longer be
the worst beach movie ever made.