WhyScan's Page Three Report
Yesterday: Jemelah, 25, from Brighton (1, 2, 3, 4)

Gold is Lorraine Paul, Sept 11, 1979.

Requested is Caroline Christensen, 1987. One more Caroline Christensen.

Also requested is Dee Ivens, 1996. One more Dee Ivens.

Special Presentation: Carol Needham, a Page Three woman from 1976 to 1982, now 39, running her own modelling agency, and doing a little modelling. Was then 34c-24-34. Is now 34E-25-35. Number 8 is the one you want to see. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

Blinky's Runway Report
Alissa Bennet (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9) #5,#7,#9 are decent see-throughs
Zeta in the new "People"
LOTS of tremendous new material from one of the European masters
  • Helene Filieres, in Venus Beaute
  • Kika Markham, in "Deux anglaises sur le continent"
  • Stacey Tendeter, in "Deux anglaises sur le continent"
  • Kristin Scott Thomas , in "Force majeure". Never seen these before.
  • Kristin Scott Thomas , in "Force majeure".
  • Kristin Scott Thomas , in "Force majeure".
  • Kristin Scott Thomas , in "Force majeure".
  • Pham Linh Dan , in "Indochine". I've been hoping someone would cap this movie. Many thanks!
  • Pham Linh Dan , in "Indochine".
  • Pham Linh Dan , in "Indochine".
  • Veronique Genest, in "Association de malfaiteurs"
  • Zabou, in "Le complexe du kangourou".
  • in the court of St Jimmy
    Krystyna Janda in "Przesluchanie". Hey, at least it has a couple of vowels in it. That's the new "reformed" Polish!
    humor "priceless" moments #1
    humor another "priceless" moment
    humor another "priceless" moment
    humor another "priceless" moment
    humor how to avoid that long wait at the McDonald's. I recommend this without qualification!
    humor storytime with the Clintons
    Miss Piggy the little pig gets naked at last. No, not Silverstone, the other one.
    Selma Blair in Cruel Intentions, non-nude from The Night.

    Members Bonuses


    "The Demoniacs", from Tuna

    This is Jean Rollin's Pirate classic! Two young innocents wash up as shipwreck survivors, and they are raped and killed by some particularly inept pirates while the captain's girlfriend watches and masturbates. So you can see it's a classy movie. The innocents then make a deal with the devil in order to come back and get revenge. The devil's advance scout is a woman who wears clown make-up. The devil wants to have some hot monkey love with the little muffins before sending them back into the world. His Supreme Unholiness looks like Antonio Banderas, which is consistent with what I always thought.

    Later there is a great scene in a churchyard where the girls use their new satanic powers to make the statues fall on the captain's girlfriend. One of the largest falls on her, and it looks sorta like the statue is screwing her, but she somehow escapes. They had no special effects, so she had to make it look like she was wrestling with the statue, ala Lugosi and the rubber octopus.

    Rollin came up with some tremendous locales to give this a spooky and artistic look. Some scenes were filmed in a ship graveyard, others in an old abandoned cathedral overgrown with vines. The tavern where the pirates hang out is decorated with all types of bizarre artifacts like stuffed bats and monkeys with exaggerated genitals.

    It's a truly strange movie, but Rollin managed to get a lot of mileage out of his zero budget. (According to the stories circulated after the filming, the actors had nothing to eat during the filming except the fish and crustaceans they managed to wrangle from local fishermen!) It could actually be a pretty good horror/gore movie except for a few things. Rollin doesn't use those quick surprise cuts so necessary to tension, so all the danger and mystery comes walking up to the camera languidly from a ways off. He isn't exactly Hitchcock in this regard. The acting in this movie is even worse than usual. The two demoniac girls never acted in anything but this movie. One of them was a local Belgian girl that they had to hire as a precondition for getting some good Belgian locations they wanted. The pirate captain is an American, if I remember right, and turns in possibly the silliest performance ever. I guess it was intentional, I don't know, but he exaggerates every gesture and facial expression like those old silent movie actors. Imagine Captain Kirk in pain. The whole movie is worth watching just to see him and his cohorts mug and cavort. Rollin starts out the movie with the old cliche of showing some action backdrop while each character's face comes on the screen (mugging away, of course), and the narrator tells us about them, kind of like when Dr Evil goes around the table and introduces all his evil cohorts.

    Tuna noted the following plusses:

    1. Superb transfer from film to DVD, and the most risque version ever released.
    2. Rollin savors each moment instead of rushing through the film.
    3. Beautiful colors and framing.
    4. Beautifully lit night scenes. I agree with both of these last two points. The story is goofy, and the acting bizarre, but I challenge anyone to come up with a better looking zero-budget movie. The cinematography has a professional look and feel, not just in the clarity of the images, but in the artistry as well.
    5. and let me add, the two little demoniac girls are cute, and Joelle Coeur is one helluva sexy woman.

    Thumbnails, part 1 Thumbnails, part 2 Joelle Coeur (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24) The Demoniacs (I have no idea which is which, and apparently neither has Tuna) (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23) Mireille D'Argent (1, 2, 3) Hookers (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    "About last night ..", from Johnny Web

    This movie was meant to be called "Sexual Perversity in Chicago", identical to the David Mamet play upon which it was based. (The movie was Mamet's one act play expanded significantly to a full-lenghth screenplay by Tim Kazurinsky - remember him from SNL?) The three major TV networks, however, wouldn't accept the trailer ads for the film, so the last minute title change resulted in "About Last Night ... "

    It's basically a four character play, about the rise and fall of a relationship, and the effect of that relationship upon their best friends. The friends were essentially jealous - not of the love they found, but of how they dominated each other's time. In the new relationship, each lover stole the other's time away from the best friend. I've mentioned before that Jim Belushi and Elizabeth Perkins are funny in an over-the-top way as the friends, especially Belushi as a life-embracing party animal. Demi is absolutely lovely. Before the exercise and the implants, you might say that she wasn't as perfect in a technical sense. Her breasts were small, and her butt was not that tight, and I guess she deliberately set out to change that. But I don't think I'm alone in saying that she was just about perfect before the changes. Her beautiful face, her raspy voice, her smarts, and her acute feminity made her a great star. And she was great in this movie. Romantic comedies may not be the equivalent of King Lear in the level of acting skill required, but not everybody does them well (Rob Lowe comes to mind), and Demi did this one very well, indeed. The movie portrayed the relationship quite realistically except for kind of a cop-out ending which looked tacked on. Anyway, you have a beautiful Demi perfect for the role, Belushi and Perkins for some laughs, and a reasonable amount of Demi nudity. That's enough to make it a worthwhile rental. You won't even notice or care that Lowe is so strangely stiff. When he has to deliver a line he looks like Dan Quayle holding a press conference, deflecting a question, trying to pretend that he knows where Europe is. Demi Moore (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

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