"Clay Pigeons"

Clay Pigeons (1998) is a German produced film in English. IMDb calls it a Comedy-Thriller-Drama-Crime film. I also had trouble figuring out what it was supposed to be, but black comedy seems closest. Clay Bidwell (Joaquin Phoenix) and Earl (Gregory Sporleder) are out shooting beer bottles, when Earl accuses Clay of sleeping with his wife, Georgina Cates. Rather than shooting Clay, Earl kills himself and frames Clay for a murder. Clay goes to Cates for help, and she tells him to deal with it and not bother her. He disposes of the body, and finds a new girlfriend, Nikki Arlyn. Cates kills Arlyn, and Clay is in the body hiding business again.

Things become complicated when a charming stranger befriends Clay, and they found a body floating while fishing. The stranger, it seems, is a serial killer, and, of course, the FBI suspects. Clay. Arlyn show breasts, and Cates shows breasts in a home movie within the film, and most of one nipple. IMDb readers have this at 6.4 of 10. It earned $1.79M against a $8M budget. Ebert and Berardinelli agree at 2.5 stars, and with similar comments. They both appreciated the performances, but thought there were just to many murders, and found the ending very contrived. I agree. There was not a flat performance in the film, and Janeane Garofalo as an FBI agent was wonderful, but the writer and director just didn't know how to finish it. C-.

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  • Georgina Cates (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Nikki Arlyn (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    "The Good Humor Man" (2004)

    You may remember Cameron Richardson as the cutie with a charming overbite, basically the only thing of merit, in National Lampoon's Dorm Days. She shows her breasts in The Good Humor Man (one collage, and one zipped .wmv) and if people would like to see the other side, she showed a marvelous booty in GQ last year.

    Here's the official synopsis of Good Humor Man:

    "Set in the suburbs in ’76, it is the story of Jay Skibness – stoner, vandal, all around mischievous high school sophomore, and the crisis of conscience he must face when his lifelong best friend becomes linked to the death of a youth from another clique. As he moves through this fast paced coming of age story, he is aided by Wendy – a beautiful Jockette from the rival clique and they form a bond that will change each of them forever.

    ‘70’s rock legend Robin Trower’s original score and the rest of the classic rock soundtrack roll you through the ups and downs of teenage years while Kelsey Grammer anchors this bright young cast that we will see often in the years to come. "

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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Jr's Polls
    Here are the official results for last week's poll.

    The Top 20 Best Sex Scenes

    Here are the results of our most recent other polls...
    The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
    Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
    Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
    Best All Time Television Comedy
    Best Nudity in an Oscar-winning performance

    Email Scoopy Jr. with more nominees, comments or suggestions.

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    Some assorted goodies from the Ghost today.

    First up...Here we see the cute co-star of the horribly lame, short-lived series "Cleopatra 2525" Jennifer Sky going topless, getting felt up, and gettin' it on in scenes from "My Little Eye".

    • Jennifer Sky (zipped .wmvs). (1, 2)

    The Ghost follows up with brief bum and robo-breast views of Carlton Elizabeth in scenes from the direct-to-vid 'thriller', "Pretty When You Cry" (2001).

    • Carlton Elizabeth (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    • Carlton Elizabeth zipped .wmvs (1, 2)

    Next up, here are vids of Kristi Ducati showing off her robo-big'uns in scenes from "Intimate Obsession" (1992). Her Skinemax 'claim to fame' was starring in both "The Bikini Carwash Company" and "The Bikini Carwash Company II".

    • Kristi Ducati zipped .wmvs (1, 2)

    Here is video clip of Fun House favorite Jessica Alba showing some cleavage and looking Alba-licious in a scene from her sci-fi series "Dark Angel".

    Last is Adult film and Skinemax babe Chelsea Blue baring all in a couple of scenes from "Sexual Temptations" (2001). If you take a look at these images, you may think something is a little off. Can't quite place it? Well chew on this...she's a lady of late night cavle with natural breasts!

    • Chelsea Blue (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
    • Chelsea Blue zipped .wmvs. #2 and #8 are quite good. In fact I wouldn't doubt it if someone told me they were really going at it. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia"
    To understand the nature of this 1974 film by Sam Peckinpah, you merely have to describe the opening scene: A young pregnant but unmarried Mexican woman who is sitting beside a beautiful stream is summoned by henchman to appear before her father, a rich Mexican landowner. He demands to know the name of the father of her child, and when she refuses, she is first stripped, then tortured, then finally her arm broken. She tells.

    The father of the child is Alfredo Garcia, and the scene ends with the landowner offering one million dollars to anyone who will bring him the head (only) of Alfredo Garcia. Things grow more violent as two bounty hunters searching for Garcia encounter a local piano-player who knows Garcia's girlfriend. The piano-player convinces her to team up with him to collect the million, and things spiral downward as bodies fall like flies.

    This is a violent, sexy thriller typical of Peckinpah, bordering on the distasteful much of the time, and rightfully deserves to be called a classic.

    Mr. Nude Celeb
    Mr. Nude Celeb sets the way-back machine to 1982 for these 'caps from the movie "Paradise".

    As we've mentioned before, this movie is horribly lame, and there is only one reason for this thing to even exist...Phoebe Cates gets naked constantly! She showers naked under several different waterfalls, walks naked around the hut, swims naked near colorful coral reefs, bathes naked in lagoons, wades naked in the Mediterranean, etc.

    This was Cates' film debut, and she looked absolutely gorgeous while baring all.

    • Phoebe Cates (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    • Here's some assorted unknown topless girl.

    • Im not sure why, but for some reason Phoebe used an unknown body double. Phoebe is constantly nude in this movie, so it's always kinda boggled my ol' brain. Perhaps the idea of even pretending to have sex with Willie Aames was simply too creepy.

    Kathleen Kinmont
    Barbara Crampton
    (1, 2)

    Kitt 'caps of the busty babes going topless in scenes from the lo-budget 80's wanna-be classic, "Fraternity Vacation" (1985), starring Tim Robbins and the late, great Dean Wormer.

    Yuri Kinugawa
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

    Flautista 'caps of Kinugawa baring breasts, bum and a hint of bush in scenes from the Kiwi movie "Memory & Desire" (1997) (her one and only film).

    Katie Holmes
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    Has it really been 4 years since we saw Katie's toplessness and brief thong views in "The Gift"? Hopefully one of these days she'll stop making crappy movies like "Abandon", "Phone Boooth" and "First Daughter" and pick a more challenging role. The kind of role that actresses call "a brave choice". The kind of role that makes critics write "a powerful performance". Or as we like to call it...the kind that has nudity. In the mean time, thanks to the Skin-man for these 'caps.

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    She's Too Fat! - "Desperate Housewives" is so popular that top stars are lobbying to make cameo appearances. But James Denton, who plays sexy plumber Mike Delfino, says the producer thinks that could harm the show the way it did "Friends," by taking the spotlight away from the main stars. He said that, for instance, Britney Spears' people have been trying to get her onto "Desperate Housewives," but he can promise "that will never happen."

  • She'll have to make do with being a real-life desperate housewife.
  • Britney's people came off as way TOO desperate.
  • Of course, this won't prevent the entire cast of "Desperate Housewives" from doing a cameo on this week's "Will & Grace."

    Finally, A Reason To Visit Cleveland! - The Cleveland house where the movie "A Christmas Story" was filmed was sold on eBay for $150,000. Brian Jones of San Diego loves the tale of Ralphie's quest for a Red Ryder BB gun so much, he said he had to have the house. He plans to repaint the exterior yellow and green again to match the movie and hopes to turn the house into a "Christmas Story" museum, with a gift shop selling such items as Ovaltine, Little Orphan Annie decoder rings and women's leg lamps.

  • Better stock the unbreakable kind.
  • You can't BUY a lamp like that! It's a special award!
  • Plus over 33 flavors of soap.
  • But no BB guns! You'll shoot your eye out!

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