"Buñuel y la mesa del rey Salomón"

Buñuel y la mesa del rey Salomón (2001), or Bunuel and King Soloman's Table, is decidedly odd. Basically Luis Buñuel is talking about the making of a film where he as a young man, Salvadire Dali, and Federico Garcia Lorca are in 1930s Toledo searching for the King Soloman's Table, a religious artifact said to give you the ability to see everything, past, present and future.

The entire film is a work of surrealism, and was nearly as incomprehensible to me as are Dali's paintings. We have full frontal from two women, Italian Valeria Marini nude and Spanish Varolina Lapausa. IMSb readers have this at 5.5 of 10. Unfortunately the DVD transfer is not at all good. That is a shame, as the visuals are all the film has going for it. It is in Spanish, with optional sub-titles, and is only available on Region 2 PAL. This is a C-, interesting, but, for me, a very long watch.

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  • Valeria Marini (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
  • Varolina Lapausa (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    "One Million Heels B.C."

    One Million Heels B.C. (1993) is basically an excuse to show three women naked. Cierra Knight is watering her garden, then turns the hose on herself, takes off her top, goes into the house, strips, puts on new panties, and works out. Meanwhile, a cave girl, Michelle Bauer, show sup. The two end up in the shower, then Jerica Fox arrives to practice strip routines with Knight. Then all three end up in the bath, soaping each other, etc. When they aren't wet and.or naked, they are putting on lingerie.

    The story is awful, the acting is ridiculous, and the DVD quality is not at all good, but the exposure is first rate. This is a C-.

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  • Cierra Kinight (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)
  • Jerica Fox (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
  • Michelle Bauer (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    • There are 12 updated volumes in the Encyclopedia in the H's, and J's. (21 yesterday in Volumes A, B, and C.)


    The Gift (2000):

    This was the best nude scene of its year, and the only real exposure from Katie Holmes's marvelous chest. Here are the comments. We both liked it. Or maybe I should say "we like both of them".





    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap






    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.


    Early in their nekkid film career.

    • Jennifer Aniston in The Good Girl. This is the first and only time those hooters have been on camera in a movie or TV show, and even in this scene they may have been covered with band-aids. Well, that's what she claims, anyway. (.avi version.wmv version).

    • Jennifer Jason Leigh starts off a long career of nudity in the teen classic, Fast Times. To be technically correct, this was not her first screen nudity. Leigh was actually topless briefly in an earlier film called Eyes of a Stranger, which I have never seen. It is available on VHS, but still not on DVD. (.avi version.wmv version).

    • Joanna Page in Love, Actually, as with JJL, this was not really her first nudity. She was topless and incredibly adorable in From Hell. (.avi version.wmv version). (Here's a Tuna cap from From Hell)


    Note from Shiloh: there was no nudity in The L-Word on Sunday.


    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmvversions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    'Caps and comments by Striplight:


    Here's a vid and some 'caps that might interest you. They're from from an Italian movie called "Scent of Passion", starring Malù and a smashing blonde named Ángeles López Barea. Quite a classic as far as I'm concerned.

    Malù and Barea play a couple of dancers who share a boyfriend, as well as themselves.

    In the video clip we see them share some quality time together in the sauna. I like the way the director knew exactly what shots of his leading ladies he wanted :-)

    This is available on DVD in the UK, but the transfer is very ropey, your US readership might be better off getting hold of one the US video versions, should they, er, want more details on how it all turns out in the end...

    • Ángeles López Barea, topless with hints of the other 2 B's

    • Malù, full frontal.

    • Malù and Ángeles López Barea, all 3 B's and some lesbian lovin'. (1, 2, 3)

    • .wmv video clip, with full frontal nudity from both ladies.

    Crimson Ghost
    First up from the Ghost...

    Elizabeth Hurley and Patsy Kensit in the 1990 movie you've probably never seen, "Der Skipper" aka "Kill Cruise".

    • Elizabeth Hurley, briefly topless. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
    • Liz .wmvs. Topless in #1, having a breast sucked in #2, and gettin' it from behind in #3 (no nudity though). (1, 2, 3)

    • Patsy Kensit, bikini.

    • Hurley and Kensit, bikinis, etc. (1, 2)

    Next on the list, the Ghost takes a look at the 1993 movie "The Baby Doll Murders"...currently only available for home viewing as an antique (aka VHS).

    • Joanne Lara, topless in a shower scene. (1, 2)
    • .wmvs of her shower scene. (1, 2)

    • Melanie Smith...the best nudity of this batch. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    • .wmvs of her topless in the hot tub. (1, 2)

    • Tuscany, also topless. (1, 2)
    • .wmvs of her toplessness. (1, 2)

    Angela Roy From German TV, toplessness in scenes from "Kalter Frühling".

    Anna-Katharina Muck The full-figured actress bares breasts and bum in scenes from an episode of the German TV series "Polizeiruf 110"

    Corinna Harfouch Ripping open her shirt to reveal her breasts in a scene from "Die Spur des Bernsteinzimmers" aka "The Mystery of the Amber Room" (1992).

    Florentine Lahme More German TV toplessness. This time in a scene from "Küss mich, Kanzler!".

    Johanna Klante Topless from an episode of the German TV series "Schwarz greift ein".

    Jasmin Gerat The gorgeous actress topless on the German TV series "Nachtschicht", episode "Vatertag".

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    That's It! No More Charity! - According to the Swedish business magazine Veckans Affarer, Bill Gates is no longer the world's richest man. Because of Gates' charity giveaways and the dollar's slide against other currencies, IKEA furniture founder Ingvar Kamprad, 77, is now ahead of Gates, $53 billion to $47 billion. Kamprad lives in Switzerland and is famous for his frugal habits, such as flying economy class instead of first class.

  • That alone saved $6 billion.
  • He may not even know it yet; he doesn't buy magazines.
  • He's so cheap, he won't even assemble his furniture before he sells it to you.

    He Grates! He Grates! - "American Idol" loser William "She Bangs" Hung was a big hit earlier in the season, but he's wearing thin with the show's producers. The New York Post reports that they think he's gone from being funny to making a mockery of the show. When he signed to cut an album called "Real Idol," they finally threatened to sue him. It's now called "American Inspiration."

  • So they sued him for using the word "American"...They've trademarked that.
  • The producers claim they invented the concept of people who can't sing releasing CDs.
  • Jon Peter Lewis is still in the finals: THERE'S your mockery.

    "I Am NOT Ill!" - The New York Post reports that some fans of MTV's "The Newlyweds" suspect Jessica Simpson may be functionally illiterate. Among the clues: the Chicken of the Sea can reads "tuna"; she gives Nick many gifts but never a card; when he gave her a card, she made him read it to her; and she couldn't figure out where her hotel room was or how to use a gas pump, even though she had written directions. Her publicist denied it, noting that she attended private schools; but others noted that cute girls and athletes are often sheltered from tough classes. One illiteracy group said if it's true, they'd love to have her as a spokeswoman.

  • Spokeswoman for a group of illiterates? Perfect!
  • They'd write to her about it, but...well, you know.
  • Jessica denied that she is either illiterate OR functional.
  • On the other hand, the Chicken of the Sea label has a picture of a mermaid, and she didn't ask if it was made out of mermaids.

    Live Nude Fish! - A study by the Christian Film and Television Commission found that movies with explicit sex and nudity aren't selling anymore. An analysis of box office figures for 1,120 films over the past four years found that movies with no sex, such as "Finding Nemo," grossed an average of $41.1 million, while those with sex and nudity averaged just $16.7 million. Some analysts say it shows that Hollywood needs to make more films with wholesome characters and positive themes. Others said it's just because family movies are more likely to make money because of all the merchandising tie-ins.

  • I don't know, I really enjoy my "9-1/2 Weeks" action figures.
  • Sexy movies should do merchandising tie-ins, like pop-up books.
  • Or it could be that out of 1,120 movies, "Finding Nemo" was the only one that was any good.
  • "Finding Nemo" has nudity...The fish in it are totally naked!
  • Another way to make money is with movies about Jesus, but only if they're REALLY violent.

    More Coke Than "Miami Vice" - The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports that Bobby Brown is pitching a reality show about his life to the TV networks. A publicist for Brown's wife Whitney Houston said she would help with the show, but the cameras would not follow her around, and it would be about his life, not hers.

  • She would watch it, though, just so she'd finally know where he is at night.
  • Whitney can't do a reality show: she has no concept of reality.
  • There's already a reality show starring Bobby Brown...It's called "COPS."