"Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String" day two

Tonight, we have all of the other women from this marathon softcore porn parody from Seduction Cinema. I have done so many of their films now that these women are starting to seem almost like old friends. As IMDB currently has only sketchy information on this release, here are the female cast members and character names:

"Dildoe Sagins".....Misty Mundae.....3 Bs, shown last night
"Horney".....Darian Caine.....3 Bs
"Spam".....A. J. Kahn.....3 Bs
"Benadryl".....Anushka.....3 Bs, shown last night
"Hymen Torn".....Allanah Rhodes.....3 Bs, shown last night
"Whorespank".....Paige Richards.....breasts only, in G-String
"Drusila".....Kelli Summers.....3 Bs
"Tree Nymph".....Juliette Charles.....3 Bbs
"Araporn".....Barbara Joyce.....3 Bs
"Bar Maid".....Ruby LaRocca.....Breasts and bush

There are also several images showing between three and seven of the women naked. It is in these group images, for instance, that we see A. J. Kahn's buns. The evil wizard is named Sourass, and IS a fart joke. Smirnoff the Wizard is a drunk and a letch. For me, the film works best when it is parodying the Lord of the Rings. This will sound odd, but there was actually too much exposure and lesbian sex for me during the 98 minute running time. Note, IMDB shows it as R rated, and Amazon lists it at 90 minutes. It is actually Unrated, and would never get an R if submitted. They have some very crude computer generated graphics and effects, but are on much stronger ground with costume, story, acting (which ranges from adequate to pretty good), and well lit cinematography. I say the acting is good, but it is clearly over the top, with lots of mugging and exaggeration.

10 IMDB voters have it at 9.0 of 10. There are no reviews or comments listed at IMDB. I would guess that even after a reasonable number of people have seen this, it will rate quite high for the genre, as it is a very good genre effort, spoofs the incredibly popular Lord of the Rings Trilogy, is well-photographed, and stars Misty Mundae, who has a huge following. There are also several laughs. The DVD also contains two behind-the-scenes features, one shot during the filming, with interviews with cast members between takes, and many sequences with the director setting up shots, and the actual filming of those shots. These not only give you a chance to meet performers out of character, but give a lot of insight into the making of the film, unlike many such "behind-the-scenes" specials, which are little more than an exaggerated ad trailer. This easily wins a C+, which is the highest possible grade for a soft-core film. While they could have done more with the story, they took the parody quite far for a soft-core, and certainly delivered on the female flesh. If I had to chose the ten best soft-core films, this might well be among them.

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  • AJ Kahn (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
  • Barbara Joyce (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Darian Caine (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
  • Group (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
  • Juliette Charles (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29)
  • Kelli Summers (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
  • Paige Richards (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
  • Ruby La Rocca (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Other crap:


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Today we do (I wish) one of my all time favorites Uschi Digart in scenes from 1970's "Roxanna".

    Uschi bares her boobs (and what fabulous boobs they are) in lesbian scenes with an unknown. In the final caps (link #10), she also shows some bush.

    This lady had a really long career appearing in countless movies, many of them where she was not even credited. But now with all the old stuff being re-mastered, it is Uschi that is the main attraction.

    Lori Heuring The Hoollywood starlet wearing black undies, and partially removing her bra in scenes from the straight-to-cable-Tom-Berenger-flick, "True Blue".

    Renée Humphrey For most of us, she'll always be known as "Tricia Jones" from "Mallrats" (1995). Here she is topless and showing an underwater thong view in scenes from "The Sex Monster" (1999).

    Sharon Stone Why Stone is an A-list celebrity is something of mystery to me. Sure, she looks good and put in great performances in "Basic Instinct" (1992), "Total Recall" (1990) and "Casino" (1995). But take a closer look at her filmography. Out of the 50 something films she's been in, those 3 are pretty much the only stand outs! In fact not only has she been in many mediocre movies...she's starred in some seriously bad flicks! For example: "Sliver" (1993), "Above the Law" (1988), "Action Jackson", "Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold" (1987), "Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol" (1987) and "King Solomon's Mines" (1985)! are 'caps of Stone topless from one of the many lesser films, the 1991 flick "Scissors".

    Kari Wuhrer
    (1, 2)

    Dann collages of Kari not really nude in scenes from 2 movies.

    Link #1 is from "Red Blooded American Girl II" aka "Hit & Run" aka "Hot Blooded". With 3 different release names, you just know it must be a "quality" film. Kari did look sexy in black undies, and showed a hint of nipple, but other than that, just skip this one.

    Link #2 features 'caps from an even worse movie...1998's "Ivory Tower". The plot has something to do with hi-tech industrial espionage, and the lives and loves of high-tech industry folk. It's been a while since I've seen it, and all I remember is there were several scenes that were shot on location with a really cheap camera at Comdex and/or the Consumer Electronics Show (complete with real people-not extras and all the background noise of 200,000 people running around a Vegas trade show). If this movie had a million dollar budget I'd be surprised. Back to Kari...she looks good in undies and shows a hint of bum.

    Sarah Chalke
    (1, 2, 3)

    Another look at the "Scrubs" babe playing a naughty nurse and showing off some great cleavage from Thursday night's episode.

    Claudia Christian
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Probably best known from the sci-fi series "Babylon 5". Here she is looking fantastic showing some wet-shirt pokies, thong views and grabbing her boobs in these collages from "The Hidden" (1987), by DeadLamb.

    Marilu Henner The former "Taxi" star topless in scenes from the 1983 Burt Reynolds movie "The Man Who Loved Women".

    Alina Thompson
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the B-movie and Skinemax actress topless and showing a thong view in scenes from "Kiss of Death".