"Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String"

Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String (2003) is a Seduction Cinema production shot entirely on film, rather than their usual digital video. Misty Munday stars as Dildoe Sagins, a simple Throbbit from Throbbiton who is charged by Smirnoff the wizard to take the G-String created for the evil Whorespank (Paige Richards) to the edge of the kingdom and destroy it, thereby saving Diddle Earth. Accompanying her on her quest are Spam (A. J. Kahn) and Horney (Darian Caine), and they are eventually joined by Araporn (Barbara Joyce). Along the way, they encounter any number of perils, as well as those who aide the quest. Anoushka as Benadryl and Allanah Rhodes as Hymen Torn are two elves who save Dildoe after an attack, and take her to Las Lesbius to heal.

There is far too much nudity in this parody for one night, so this will be continued. Tonight, we have Misty Mundae, Anoushka, and Allanah Rhodes. All of the women show everything at some time in the film, and most of the sex is of the girl/girl variety, with lots of group shots. There are few frames with only one naked woman. Tomorrow night, we will have the rest of the women, and the group shots.

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  • Allanah Rhodes (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
  • Anoushka (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
  • Misty Mundae (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 11, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32)

    Other Crap

    This is normally the exclusive province of Scoopy, but this was too good for me not to share. This gives a whole new meaning to the term jail birds. The birds in question are European Starlings, which are known for stealing nests from other birds. Now we know what they feather them with.

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    • Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated


    Other crap:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Today it's a look at Jessica Biel in "The Rules of Attraction".

    Jessica frolics in her bra and then a skimpy nightgown. When will this girl decide to get naked on screen?.

    And one for good luck...Jennifer Aniston showing some cleavage on "Friends".

    Christy Chung
    (1, 2, 3)

    The French-Canadian born, Asian beauty (Voted the Sexiest Woman in Asia 2000 by FHM, and winner of the Miss Chinese International title in 1992) showing brief nipple exposure in love scenes from the movie "The Samsara" (2001).

    Neelesha BaVora
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Also from "The Samsara", she shows breasts and a little bush while gettin' it on.

    Julie Bowen
    (1, 2)

    A great nip slip backstage at the People's Choice awards.

    Xenia Seeberg
    (1, 2)

    Brief breast exposure in two episodes of the sci-fi series "Lexx". Oddly, both scenes involve bathing...but I'm not complaining. Vidcaps by PKOrion.

    Susan Ward
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Dark and deleted scenes of the young starlet topless from "The In Crowd".

    Joanne Guest The UK favorite showering up, and baring her beautiful breasts and bum. From an appearance on the UK series, "Kathy Lloyd's Naughty Business". Thanks to Gman.

    Ina Klink From UC99, 'caps of Ina topless and baring her bum in scenes from "Tatort - Trübe Wasser" (2001).

    Shari Shattuck
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the B-movie babe showing off her robo-boobs in several scenes from the straight to video erotic thriller "Point of Seduction: Body Chemistry III".

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    But She Still Doesn't Look So Hot - According to, Mariah Carey employs a male "positioner" on staff whose only job is to get her into the right position to look her best on camera. Her optimal position: leg closest to the camera straight out, the other leg bent, one arm over the chair, breasts pointed directly at the camera lens.

  • In fact, just forget all that other stuff, Mariah, and point your breasts at the camera lens.
  • You'd think she'd have this memorized by now, but as you can see, it's really complicated.
  • That's nothing: J-Lo has a three-man team just to position her butt.

    Requires An Ass-ociate Degree - Britain's Sun tabloid reports that Kylie Minogue's staff makeup artist Caroline Barnes has an even better job. Barnes says that before Kylie goes on stage, she has to makeup all "the bits that show," which includes rubbing baby oil on Kylie's bum, then dusting it with bronzing powder.

  • Then there's contouring and highlighting...Followed by three coats of lamination.
  • Mariah's male "positioner" is wondering if Caroline would like to trade jobs.
  • The bad news: the entry level position for this job is making up Dennis Franz's butt.