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Friday
Contact junior by writing junior@scoopy.com. Contact Scoopy by writing unclescoopy@msn.com. Contact Tuna by writing tuna@scoopy.com Send submissions to scoopy@scoopy.net
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Use this search device to seek additional information from amazon.com about any of the books or movies you read about here.
To see and use all the Funhouse features, you need Netscape 6.+ or MSIE 5.+.
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Tuna
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"The Story of O - Episode 6"
The Story of O - Episode 6 (1992 TV) starts with over half the running time having no nudity. Jacqueline moves in with O, O learns that she only belongs to Sir Stephen now, and that Rene wants Jacqueline. We also learn that, before Rene, O was mainly into women. Then, suddenly, we see O and Jacqueline in a mild girl/girl, but at least get all three Bs from Gabriela Alves, as well as the usual 3 Bs from Cepeda. O is introduced to Annmarie, is corseted, and is told that she is to be marked, and that she will be staying at Annmarie's for a while.
I included a splice made from a slow pan from ankle to head of Claudia Cepeda actually taken from Episode 5, but a fairly clean full frontal image.
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Claudia Cepeda
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Gabriela Alves
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Jr. here....if you're a fan of "The Story of O", or interested in seeing the original 1976 version of the movie, you can watch it online at www.cultmoviesonline.com. The site is run by some friends of mine and they've done a great job encoding the streaming video. If you decide to check it out, I'd love to hear some feedback. Please email me at junior@fakes.net.
"Rancid Aluminium"
Rancid Aluminum (2000) is "fooking shite" according to nearly everyone who has seen it, including me. It is about a British firm in financial trouble that makes a deal with the Rusian Mafia, but the details are "all bollocksed up." It was even obvious to the film makers, who kept saying "those who know, know" whenever someone in the film questioned everything. The head of the English company is trying to get his girlfriend pregnant, and is seeing a fertility doctor. He takes her with him to negotiate with the Russians, and does her twice and the daughter of the head of the Russian Mafia the same night. Both end up pregnant.
His best bud, who has actually been running the business til the death of his father, is scheming with the Russians to get him killed. Tara Fitzgerald as the Russian daughter, shows her buns in a sex scene, and part of her breasts. Sadie Frost, as the girlfriend shows nipples in one blurry frame, despite more than one steamy sex scene. Dani Behr also has a steamy encounter in an elevator with our hero, but doesn't really show anything.
The critics were as cruel in condemning this film as I have ever seen them, IMDB says 3.8 of 10, and the comments there are equally derogatory. I am afraid that I agree. The acting is not that bad, but the plot is stupid, the direction and editing amateur at best, and the dialogue is among the worst I have heard. E.
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Dani Behr
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Sadie Frost
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Tara Fitzgerald
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"Cemetery Man"
DellaMorte DellAmore, or Cemetery Man (1994) is a very dark comedy told in the gore/horror genre. Rupert Everett plays Francesco Dellamorte, who woks in a cemetery, and, among his other duties, must kill the dead when they arise as zombies 7 days after they are buried. He favorite weapon is a gun, but, to destroy their skulls, he will use anything handy. The careless casualness with which he does this provides many of the laughs. In act one, he falls for a young widow, Anna Falchi. When she is killed by a zombie, he is even willing to be with her when she comes back, but she takes a big bite out of his shoulder. He starts killing living people, but someone else takes credit for his crimes. His sidekick, a hunchback midget mute, has an affair with the Zombie head of the mayor's daughter.
The film sort of overstays its welcome, and the last 20 minutes or so don't offer much, but it is a good effort, and Anna Falchi shows her magnificent breasts often. I very much liked Berardinelli's summary in awarding 2 1'2 stars, "Cemetery Man could have been better, but it more easily could have been a lot worse. The best thing I can say abut Michele Soavi's film is that it elicited more laughter from me than about 90% of Hollywood's bland comedies. And it's refreshing to see, if only for one film, a stylish tastelessness that swims against the prevailing tide of political correctness." IMDB readers say 7.2 of 10, which is very high for comedy or horror. I will give it an enthusiastic C+. If you like the genre, you will like this one.
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Anna Falchi
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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
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MOVIES:
Mulholland Drive
made me long for the comparative clarity, simplicity and logic of Donnie Darko.
Is it a good movie? I don't know. I have no fucking idea what was going on.
- Naomi Watts
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- Laura Harring.
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- NOTE: Harring's full-frontal scene has apparently been digitally
censored! (Check out the last three collages, especially #7).
Laura seems to have cast a spell of forgetfulness over her earlier career.
See her bio at www.lauraharring.com,
then compare it to the facts in the IMDb. She mentions her Shakespeare and a
couple of TV projects and the fact that she is the Countess von Bismarck Herring, but she
seems to have erased her 'B" career in 1985-1997 from her memory. Laura not
only wants to forget she was the first Latina to win Miss USA, but (more
important) she wants to forget that she was topless in Silent Night, Deadly
Night 3. Perhaps this is because she wants to forget that film, or perhaps it
is because she doesn't like to admit that she has acquired a completely
different chest since then. Not to mention a different name. She used to
be Laura Herring. I think she also wants us to forget her age. She was born in
1964, making her 37 or 38, and I don't think she wants us to know that she is
nearly 40..
and
Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded
into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined
there might be something of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or
Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.
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Helcrom
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Ava Cadell |
One of the Sidaris regulars in a brief topless scene from my personal favorite of all Ah-nuld movies, "Commando"!
I know some will argue with me on this one, probably because this is one of his campiest roles of the 80's. But that's why it's so good! The budget was low, Arnie was pumped, the action was great, the bad and over-acting is amazing, and the one-liners are classics! If for no other reason you have to admire the death toll. One IMDb reader pointed out that Arnie's character kills approximately 88 people in the movie! Talk about 80 excess at it's finest! Big muscles, big explosions, lots of bullets, multiple bad guys, fast cars, sexy stewardesses and a high body count! Can you ask for more? Well, perhaps it could have used a little more nudity.
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Rae Dawn Chong |
Here is the "Commando" co-star playing a stripper in 1984's "Fear City". She's topless and shows a bit of bum.
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Emilia Crow |
Also playing a topless dancer in "Fear City".
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Melanie Griffith |
Pre-implants and yes, playing a stripper in "Fear City". Topless and thong views.
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Pamela Gidley |
Brief nipple sighting and rear nudity in a shower scene from "Liebestraum" (1991).
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Rena Riffel |
The acting power house in one of her many demanding (and topless) roles. Breasts and thong views from "Candyman 3: Day of the Dead".
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Marisa Ryan |
The former child star of the series "Major Dad" in a topless love scene from the movie "Trash" (1999).
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Penman
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Eva Mendes |
Excellent cleavage, plus brief rear, topless and frontal views from "Training Day".
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Shawna Loyer |
Full frontal, but extremely prosthetic nudity in "Thir13en Ghosts" (2001). Scoop wrote a great review for this stinker.
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Mary Steenburgen |
Rear views and a bit of breast exposure in the ultra sappy, "Life as a House".
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Variety
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Jada Pinkett Smith |
A breast peek in scenes from "Jason's Lyric".
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Josie Maran
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Posing with subtle, sexy breast exposure.
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Pat Reeder The Comedy Wire
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Pat's comments in yellow...
As I always say, high heels can be lethal...
Actress charged with domestic violence in Calif.
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Actress and model Tawny Kitaen, who allegedly
kicked her husband, Cleveland Indians pitcher Chuck Finley, with her high
heels while he was driving, was charged on Wednesday with domestic
violence.
Kitaen, who starred alongside actor Tom Hanks in the 1984 comedy "Bachelor
Party" and in a series of music videos, was ordered released from jail but
ordered to return to court on April 29 to face charges of battery on a
spouse.
Authorities said Kitaen, 41, was arrested on Monday by officers responding
to an aborted emergency call from the home she shares with Finley.
Police said Kitaen was arguing with Finley as they drove home from a
restaurant near their home in Newport Beach, California, about 40 miles
south of Los Angeles, when allegedly she began kicking him with her
high-heeled shoes.
She also allegedly slammed her foot down on his, on top of the car's
accelerator pedal, and twisted his ear, leaving Finley with abrasions and
bruises.
The judge ordered Kitaen to stay away from Finley until her court
appearance.
A spokeswoman for Kitaen could not be reached for comment.
>From the NY Post. I could swear I've already seen just about everything
this chick's got, and I haven't even been trying. She just keeps shoving
it at us: in videos, on stage, in commercials. When did she suddenly
develop modesty?...
Australian pop singer Kylie Minogue turned down $1.2 million to pose nude
for Playboy.
Minogue, who shows off her killer bod as much as possible on stage, told British tabs she would never pose topless. But she may sing for the sleazy Sultan of Brunei. Minogue said she was considering a $1 million offer from the Sultan to perform at a private birthday party for his son.
"It's quite nerve-wracking because it would be a private performance in front of a few hundred," Kylie said.
>From Ananova.com. Liz Hurley has had a baby boy. We'll know whether he's
really Steve Bing's son if he takes his first feeding, then immediately
leaves her for another pair of breasts...
Liz Hurley gives birth to baby boy
Liz Hurley has given birth to a baby boy.
Damian Charles was born at 12.22pm.
Hurley's spokeswoman said mother and baby were both happy and healthy.
The 36-year-old star of Austin Powers and Bedazzled announced she was
pregnant in November last year and named Hollywood movie producer Steve
Bing as the father.
They had started dating soon after she had split from Hugh Grant.
But Hurley was stunned when Bing issued a public statement casting doubt on
whether the baby was his.
Bing was reported to want a DNA test to prove paternity, which could only
be carried out once the baby was born.
But Hurley later expressed hopes that the matter could be resolved without
resorting to lawyers.
Bing, 35, the grandson of a New York real estate magnate, is estimated to
be worth around £400 million.
If the baby were proved to be his, Hurley would be entitled to millions of
dollars in child support until the child was at least 18.
Hurley has been supported throughout her pregnancy by Grant.
The pair had remained close since the end of their 13 year relationship and
the actor reportedly accompanied her to a pre-natal check-up at St John and
St Elizabeth Hospital in St John's Wood, north London.
>From IMDB News. Further proof, as if any were needed, that Sharon Stone's
brain is not her most impressive organ...
Sharon Stone's Mensa Madness
Gorgeous actress Sharon Stone has finally admitted she's not a member of
Mensa - to the genius organization's immense relief. Rumors have long
persisted about the star's high IQ, but she told last month's Academy Award
ceremony she has never joined the organization.
Jim Blackmore, Mensa's national marketing director for America, says, "It's delightful to finally
see Ms. Stone admit that she's not and never has been a member of our
society. But then she goes on to say, 'I went to a Mensa school.' Not so."
Blackmore is certain Stone didn't attend the school, because no such
institution has existed since the early 1960s. He continues, "She may have
been to a school for the gifted and talented, but Mensa did not run any
schools, especially when she was a kid." But despite his annoyance with the
persistent rumors, Blackmore admits Stone may be as clever as many like to
think. He says, "My gut feeling is that she would definitely qualify. But
that's just based on what we've been told by other individuals." Stone
would not be the only Hollywood star in the club - actress Geena Davis is
already a member.
scoop's comment: kinda surprised that Tommy Lee isn't in
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Other Tawny News...
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From the Scoopy Mailbag.
Scoop,
Somewhere out there is a picture of OJ and Tawny Kitaen when they were dating (he was married at the time, and his wife was still alive). The picture (which I've seen in several tabloids around the world, sometimes with a CENSORED block, sometimes not) looks like it was taken after dinner in a restaurant after a few drinks. OJ and Tawny are facing the camera and right before it's clicked, she yanks her blouse way to the side -- it's not just a nipple slip, it's a Big Tawny Kitaen Boob In Her Prime. And OJ's lusty smile is the cherrry on top, it's hilarious. (it was being used against her back during the trial when she said they were just friends)
Maybe you can put the word out. Figure somebody's gotta have this.
-WD
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