I was wondering if you or your readers might be able to help. I
recently came across an old news story from 2004 that interested
me. It involved a site called
(now out of business) that specialized in
using Playboy playmates, pornstars, models, and in a few instances
a hollwood actress, and BBC presenter as escorts. Here is a link
to the story
. I am very
interested to know who the Hollywood actress is. The story also
talks of Sophie Anderton doing some escort work. I know this is a
little off topic, but I figured that you or your readers might
have some information on this subject. Any help that you can give
would be appreciated.
Mona Lisa (1986)
Very complicated movie. On the surface, it's a British
gangster flick, with some detective elements thrown in. Like many
great films, however, it only uses some genre conventions to gussie up
a character-based drama.
Bob Hoskins plays a small-time mob
functionary just back from seven years in stir. He believes that he
did his time to protect his boss, so he naturally thinks Mr Big
(Michael Caine) owes him big-time. Mr Big doesn't see things the same
way. He tries to avoid Hoskins entirely, and the best thing he can
offer him is a menial job as the chauffeur for a dark-skinned call
girl named Simone. Hoskins is an ordinary man, unsophisticated,
casual, uneducated, and slovenly. He immediately clashes with the
prostitute, who wears designer clothing, frequents toney hotels, and
purrs with a plummy accent. After several arguments, Hoskins finally
wins the favor of the call girl because she can see that he is
completely different from the other men in her life and in her
profession - for all his faults, he is actually a very decent and
compassionate human being, even a little naive. Although he had
originally seemed totally unsuited for the job of escorting her
through expensive hotel lobbies, given his rough manner, Hawaiian
print shirts and yellow patent leather shoes, the call girl finally
decides to polish up his rough image and continue working with him.
In the meat of the film, the call girl bonds with
the unpretentious ex-con deeply enough to ask for his assistance in a bit of
detective work. She wants Hoskins to find a young girl lost
somewhere in the back streets of London, presumably turning street
tricks and shooting up junk. He takes up the challenge, and makes a foray
into the depths of London's seamy underbelly of sordid peep shows and sex-for-sale. Hoskins is no Columbo, so he really doesn't realize the number
of feathers he will end up ruffling to bring the young girl back to
Simone, but he is greatly attracted to Simone and thinks that they may
be falling in love, so he is willing to take on some dangerous mob types to get the
The title of the film relates
to the fact that Simone, like the woman in the painting and the
figurative Mona Lisa in Nat King Cole's song, is not just the
superficial work of art on display for customers, but a complicated
and surprising woman. Unfortunately, the surprises don't always work
out as well as Hoskins might have hoped.
Although the crux of the plot involves the
relationship of the chauffeur and the prostitute, the drama is given
far greater depth and realism by two other relationships in Hoskins'
life. The film derives additional atmosphere and offbeat energy from
Hoskins' relationship with his best friend, an eccentric mechanic who
is into reselling kitschy items and reading lurid detective stories,
many of which seem to have parallels with Hoskins' own life. The story
picks up a dash of heart and develops some additional character depth
through Hoskins' attempts to rekindle a relationship with his teenage
daughter, who barely remembers him from her childhood, before his trip
up the river.
Underneath its layer of
small-time mobster sleaze, Mona Lisa is a genuine and heartfelt story.
You will understand what an unusual gangster film it is when you
realize that the musical score is not hard rock or hip-hop, but
elegant and sad love ballads by Nat King Cole and Phil Collins. The
characters seem like real people that we get to know, if not always
like. I feel that I could have run into these people in London, and they would have behaved
as they did in the film. I was very pleased to see the film
concentrate on plot and characterization rather than car chases,
pecker contests, and gunfights, so I was a little bit disappointed
that this realistic slice-of-life drama degenerated into a violent
slay-fest at the end, but even that was handled with a certain degree
of credibility that is lacking in the fantasy gangster films of the
A very worthwhile watch. 100% positive
reviews, many awards and nominations, four stars each from Ebert and
Sadly, not much nudity. A
goodly amount would have made the movie just about perfect.
Tyson (sexy, but not nude)
Gators devour the competition.
How many of you remembered that the Gators started the season 17-0? They
finished 11-0. In between, they were 5-6!
I hadn't noticed it until today, but Florida blasted through the tournament
with ease. They had a close game against G'town, but blew everyone else away
by 13 or more. I told my son before the tournament that I thought Florida had
the best talent in the country, but I doubted they'd go anywhere with four
sophomores and a junior. As usual, I was wrong.
South Park - X-Mas in Iraq
"Here's a complete episode of South Park in which Santa Claus is shot down and
tortured by the Iraqis."
Driving Mr. Osama - Bin Laden's driver linked to Miss Daisy
"So I said, 'Mr. B, you too old to be hatin' like that.' But he didn't pay me
no mind, just laughed at me while he beheaded the cashier and pistol-whipped
FilmJerk.com's Early Report for April 3
"Die Hard director John McTiernan became the 14th person--and the most
well-known Tinseltown figure--to be charged with a crime in relation to the
federal racketeering and conspiracy case against private investigator Anthony
Julia Roberts' Broadway Show Grosses Nearly $1M in Debut Week
Bush immigration policy!
Weekly World News: Tobacco company sues secondhand smokers
"The B.S. Raleigh Tobacco Company is fighting back. They're tired of people
enjoying their products for free. That's why they've filed a $5 billion
classaction lawsuit to penalize millions of secondhand smokers."
What does Kenny Rogers look like these days? (Different. Very different.)
"A 34-year-old woman reported to Ypsilanti police that she had traded her
father's minivan for cocaine and wants the car back."
Four clips from An American Haunting, the film about the so-called Bell
The SEE NO EVIL - OFFICIAL MOVIE SITE has a different trailer fron the one we
Six new clips from American Dreamz
The teaser for the Simpsons Movie
A new clip from The Notorious Bettie Page
Whatever happened to the erotic thriller? ... "Not much audience for sexy
mysteries, as 'Instinct 2' attests"
"IRAQIS BITTERLY DIVIDED OVER NCAA TITLE GAME" Florida-UCLA Contest Inflames
Welcome to "Duct Tape at the Movies"
The Top Ten Female Streakers
"Oven door passed off as flat-screen TV in scam"
Nobody has pressed charges because those who purchased the oven door were
satisfied with the programming. "Beats the hell out of Will and Grace,"
explained one customer.
World's 25 Tallest Buildings all seen in a single skyline
iowahawk: Operation Steel Gazelle: A Smart, Multi-Slide Democratic Plan For
Toughening American Security with Smartness
Part 4 of Silent Bob's article about Jay's drug dependency.
Lindsay Lohan Ass Slip
Tell me how much chocolate you eat and I'll guess your age
Another Week in Unnecessary Censorship
Bill Maher On Oppressed Christians
The museum of annoying guys
Rice: "Errors" Now "Eeyores"
Family Guy's Hitler References
Ice Age 2, as
reviewed by The Filthy Critic
- Somewhere near the end of the article, he actually does mention the film!
"NATION'S TEENS BUZZING ABOUT FOX ATOMIC
- "I can't wait to see what Peter Rice and his new teen-focused division
create for us!" high schoolers proclaim
RUSSELL CROWE SUDDENLY LEAVES WIFE FOR NAOMI CAMPBELL
"Kutcher sent to Abu Ghraib after Punk'd prank involving roadside bomb goes
GREEN SCREEN PHOTO REVEALS TRUTH BEHIND SEACREST-HATCHER ROMANCE
Two trailers for See No Evil
- "Seven feet tall. Four hundred pounds. A rusty steel plate screwed into
his skull and razor-sharp fingernails that pluck out his victims' eyes.
Reclusive psychopath Jacob Goodnight is holed up in the long-abandoned and
rotting Blackwell Hotel, alone with his nightmares until eight petty criminals
show up for community service duty along with the cop who put a bullet in
Jacob's head four years ago. When one of their own is kidnapped by the killer
and her fate uncertain, the remaining lawbreakers must fight this
indestructible force of nature with a violent score to settle. "See No Evil"
stars World Wrestling Entertainment superstar Kane. The movie was directed by
"After stating last week that the U.S. had made thousands of tactical errors in
the war in Iraq, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice restated that number upward
today, telling reporters that the actual figure was 'probably closer to a
- Dr. Rice apologized for initially low-balling the number of U.S. mistakes,
explaining, "Quite frankly, I forgot about a lot of the mistakes that Rumsfeld
"Hollywood studios will start selling digital versions of films such as 'Brokeback
Mountain' and 'King Kong' on the Internet this week, the first time major movies
have been available online to own."
- "The films available on Movielink can be stored indefinitely on a computer
hard drive or transferred to as many as two other computers. The movies can be
played on a TV if the computer is part of a home network. A copy can be burned
to a DVD as a backup. Discs can be played on up three PCs authorized by
Movielink but cannot be viewed on a standard DVD player because of special
British royal birthday party descends into chaos
- Tequila shooters, noisemakers, lampshade hats, public anal sex ... and
that was just the queen.
comprehensive summary of this year's April 1 hoaxes
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
Scarlet Moon (2006)
Scarlet Moon (2006) is a new Troma release with no reviews or comments
available. I will call it a horror comedy, although I am not quite sure the
humor was 100% intentional. The commentary track and the 103 minute featurette
gave lots of insight into how this film came about. Warren F. Disbrow, who
wrote and directed was responding to a request for another erotic vampire
movie. He shot this on weekends, often times only Sundays, and it took a very
long time to shoot. Consequently, people often had to leave the production,
causing a rewrite. When he finally decided he had enough footage, he edited a
first cut, and it was well over three hours long. As he said in the
commentary, unless you sink the Titanic at the end, you can't have a movie
that long. His next thought was to shoot a little more footage, and make two
movies. He abandoned that idea, and continued cutting. The story was actually
invented during editing, and whenever their was a gap in the narrative, they
did some voice-over to explain it. Warren F. Disbrow is to erotic vampire
movies what Ed Wood was to space exploration.
As cobbled together, the story is narrated by a drone vampire who works for
the head vampire, a guy by the name of Crawly. Back in antiquity, Queen Tara
of Egypt secreted herself in a pyramid, in a room with certain icons that gave
her unlimited power and pleasure. On the spur of the moment she decided to
disembowel herself with a sword. Crawly is now trying to reassemble the room
contents to gain her former power for himself. The last item he needs to
complete the room is the Scarlet Moon, a 900 carat bright red diamond. The
narrator is tasked with finding this stone, which creates a work overload
since he has his regular hits to perform, and also has to keep his stoner
vampire buddy out of trouble.
Disbrow cast his main squeeze Annie Donato as one of his stars and even
featured his own father, and it is clear that these folks love to make movies,
and have a great deal of fun doing it. Troma provides a real service giving
them a distribution channel and plenty of freedom. This is the first
time I have seen the "making of" reel much longer than the actual film!
No reviews or comments are available on this one. This can only be
considered in the bad movie genre, and I will give it a C-.
One cannot complain that Disbrow skimped on the nudity, with full frontal
from Christine Keller, Denise Marie Kubis and several unknowns, as well as
breast exposure from Jennifer JJ. Wilder.
Dann reports on Los Años bárbaros
Two college students are sentenced to 8 years in a prison camp for writing
anti-government slogans on the wall of the university, in this excellent
1998 political drama. Set in 1948 Spain during Francisco Franco's
dictatorial rule, it is based on a true although highly fictionalized
With the help of other
rebellious students, the two plan to escape to France. To make the
journey, a young American woman and a young Canadian woman, who speak
almost no Spanish, pick up the pair in a small red convertible that barely
seats four, and start the dangerous trip to the French border, posing as
tourists. Only one of the men speaks English.
This movie has a comedic
undertone, but addresses serious issues for the most part, and is tense
and exciting at times. It is excellent. The sound track is partly in
Spanish and partly in English, with English sub-titles for the Spanish
dialog. I highly recommend this flick.
Hedy Burress and Allison Smith
Pat's comments in yellow...
For the fourth straight year, an April Fool's Day poll named Michael Jackson as
the "Most Foolish American." Organizer Jeff Barge noted that Jackson
hadn't even been in the US, and he still easily beat #2, Dick Cheney, who
accidentally shot someone in the face. Barge said if that didn't oust Jackson,
it's hard to imagine what could.
* Well, Dick Cheney could shoot Michael Jackson in the
face, but it would probably be an improvement.
* I'd say the most foolish American was that guy who went hunting with Dick
Kurt Cobain's cash-strapped widow, Courtney Love, is selling a 25 percent share
in the Nirvana song catalog to music publisher Larry Mestel. Love told Rolling
Stone that Cobain's music won't be sold to the highest bidder but will be
introduced to a new generation. She said "We're going to remain very
tasteful.and take Nirvana places it's never been before."
On this day in 1860, Pony Express service began between St. Joseph, Missouri and
* That was back when you could trust a postal carrier
with a gun.