"Screaming Dead"

Screaming Dead (2003) is a direct to vid from EI, the parent company of Seduction Cinema, and marks the reactivation of Shock-O-Rama Cinema. It stars the EI regulars, including Misty Mundae in a film without a single girl/girl scene. In fact, there isn't a single sex scene in the entire film. What it is is a grade B slasher, but with all of the horror in the last 15 minutes. A fetish photographer takes three models to an abandoned asylum, supposedly for a photo shoot, but he intends to torture each of them and record it on film. He does such a good job with Mundae that the ghost of the previous owner is brought back to life, and the gore starts in earnest, more or less.

We see Mundae naked during her interview wearing a blindfold, and then topless hung on a cross. C. J. DeMarsico shows breasts in a shower scene. The horror aspect takes way too long to kick in, but Misty does fine as a scream queen, and this might be the start of a decent bunch of slasher films, and so is pretty good news. Misty claims to be more interested in this genre than the soft core and spoofs she has been doing, and she is not a terrible actress. I will give this a low C-.

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  • CJ DiMarisico (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
  • Misty Mundae (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    "The Last Time I had Sex"

    The Last Time I had Sex (2003) is one of five so-called erotic short films from a new DVD entitled Look in My Shorts, and is the only one with any nudity. The entire disk is erotica light, and I can't recommend any of the five. The start was promising, as the first film starred Gretchen Mol, but it was a rather boring tale of a couple celebrating their anniversary in a club that nobody knows about, and you have to have an introduction to get in. She goes to the ladies room, and is gone a long time. He decides she must be screwing some guy that she knew when they walked in, but he turns out to be gay. The punch line is that she was having sex with their cocktail waitress.

    The Last Time I Had Sex stars Mary Monahan (not the one IMDb knows about) as a sexaholic. She picks up a man in a bar and takes him home. The next morning, she starts obsessing at work, thinking that he might be robbing her. She goes home, and then it gets very weird. She carries all of her and her sister's belongings out onto the sidewalk, and then gets upset when nobody steals them. At any rate, she shows breasts and bush. IMDb has never heard of this. At any rate, most of the five were very badly filmed, although some of the acting was not bad. Unfortunately, none had an interesting story. D-.

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  • Mary Monahan (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Police Academy (1984):

    Review page. Did you remember that this was the #7 film of its year at the box office? Amazing for a film that spawned more bad movies than the entire Carradine gene pool!

    Lots of nudity, but all incidental background characters, no principals.

    • Various (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)


    Penn and Teller - Bullshit! (2004)

    Best DVD of the year - all 13 episodes from their first season on Showtime, plus a boatload of special features. Nudity in the "Sex" episode, and in the deleted footage. More DVD info on Penn & Teller's Bullshit! - The First Season

    These guys are my heroes. They get yuppies to comment on "Bottled Water" with fancy-sounding foreign names, which is actually water from a garden hose in LA. They get three feng shui consultants to offer completely contradictory advice. They debunk pheromes, alternative medicine, the myth of second hand smoke, the "science" of creationism, ESP, environmental hysteria, and all the favorite causes of liberals and conservatives alike.

    • Thumbnails (1, 2)
    • Primary model. I know I have seen her before, but I can't come up with a name. Surely one of you knows who this is. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    • Primary model in the deleted scenes (full frontal, shaved) (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
    • Various other models (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)



    • There are 63 new volumes in the Encyclopedia. Overall, I added more than 400 new pictures, lifting the total to about 52,300.



    In  last  week's  TV Guide  they  made  mention  of  the  accidental  airing  of  the  "Quiet  Days  in  Hollywood"  in  it's  unedited  format.  The  interesting  thing  they  mentioned  is  the  "Full  Frontal  Nudity  by  Hillary  Swank"  I  looked  up  the  movie,  and  Hillary  Swank  is  in  it,  but  she's  only  a  minor  supporting  character.  The  scene  I've  scene  capped  could  easily  air  on  NYPD  Blue  or  Alias  without  a  problem.  Is there  more  to  the  movie  than  I've  seen?  The  clips  on  your  site  are  pretty  tame,  hardly  "Full Frontal"

    In the only version of the movie I have seen, Swank has a fairly large role (it's an ensemble piece, so nobody has that large a part), and goes topless without really showing anything, thanks to her hands. If there is a more explicit version, I'd love to see it because Swank has a beautiful figure, but I don't know of one. (I checked a few other celeb sites, no dice there either). Perhaps TV Guide was thinking of Boys Don't Cry, a film which often airs on TV, and has a Swank full frontal in the uncut theatrical version. ???

    Any help out there? Has anyone seen this supposed uncut version of QDIH?





    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap






    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.


    French-speaking Chicks

    • Lots of Valerie Quennessen (and a bit of Daryl Hannah) in Summer Lovers. Quennessen disappeared shortly after this film, and nobody has really offered a certifiable account for what happened to her. One guy said she died in an auto accident, but that was supposed to have happened in 1989, and she disappeared in 1983, so there are still missing pieces to the puzzle. (Assuming the auto accident really happened, which is based solely on multi-generation hearsay.) (.avi version.wmv version).

    • Emmanuelle Seigner in Le Sourire.  (.avi version.wmv version).

    • Isabelle Illiers in Les Fruits de la Passion.  (.avi version.wmv version).

    • Jane Birkin in Love at the Top.  (.avi version  .wmv version). Jane speaks French, and worked in many French films, but is actually English.

    • Lucie Laurier in Stiletto Dance.  (.avi version.wmv version). She isn't French, either. Close. She's French Canadian.


    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmvversions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    Mister Grundy
    'Caps and comments by Mister Grundy:
    • Dominique Sanda in "Caboblanco"
      In this 1979 story inspired by CASABLANCA, the sexy mademoiselle played Marie, a woman who is stranded in a corrupt Peruvian village, when the local corrupt official (Fernanado Rey) confiscates her passport. There is nowhere to turn but the poor man's "Rick's Cafe Americain," run by none other than the Charles Bronson, an expatriate Yankee... who was showing his nearly sixty years of age at the time, but was still Numero Uno with the chickadees -- well before the days of Viagra. Unfortunately, Ms. Sanda was not all too forthcoming with her goodies... appearing in a film that was at the tail end of her heyday.

    • Ana De Sade appears as eye candy, in a bedroom scene with CABOBLANCO's second hero... but she is given a chance to put on a performance, as well. The lovely senorita appeared in many Mexican and Spanish films, and a few of the "Man Called Horse" exercises, as an Indian maiden. She plays "Nude" in the 1981 action-adventure HIGH RISK, and bared her wares in at least one of the Horse films... which I notice was requested by by a Scoopy member in the past. Why, it looks like Ana de Sade is making her Scoopy debut with these pics, after being in such high demand!

    • Camilla Sparv... what a beaut! As Hera, she is Bronson's ex-lover in CABOBLANCO, now claimed by the film's villain, played by Jason Robards... whom I gathered from the IMDb is supposed to be a Nazi, but he sure came across as a 'Merican in the movie. The marv Sparv is roughed up by a classic Nazi henchman in a rather sadistic scene. The actress offers no flesh, and in the Scoopy archives proves similarly disappointing... a wet shirt in MACKENNA'S GOLD, made eleven years prior.

    • The Unknowns of Caboblanco. Fernando Rey sure got lucky in this film.

    Moving on to our next feature film....

    • Anne Grete Nissen is one of the sisters whom the virginal hero, Max, gets it on with in the 1970 Danish sex farce, "Mazurka pĺ Sengekanten," or BEDSIDE MAZURKA. Max needs to get married in order to become dean in the school where he works; his students will give Max a hand to get lucky with the girls. The actress appeared in only five films, and in this one her pulchritude is quite striking, and in other shots... she looks a bit strange. In the Scoopy archives, she offers a full frontal glimpse to her charms in the Swedish sex-fest, "Kyrkoherden" ("THE LUSTFUL VICAR," 1970), where she plays a witch who gets dunked nude, and doubles as the daughter out for revenge. The Danish actress apparently had the starring role in her debut, WITHOUT A STITCH (1969)... playing a high school girl who finds herself in a "sexual merry-go-round that includes making a hardcore porno film in Sweden, an escapade with a German sadist and a lesbian encounter."

    • Annie Birgit Garde is Erna, the older dean's wife in BEDSIDE MAZURKA, and we all remember from ANIMAL HOUSE how sex-starved dean's wives can be. The Dane has enjoyed a prolific career on screen, and made a comeback in a Danish mini-TV series in 1996, after a generation-long absence. The only American film -- a co-production with Denmark -- Ms. Garde appeared in appears to have been 1962's JOURNEY TO THE SEVENTH PLANET, with John Agar. In this film, where she dances the Mazurka with Max, whom she deflowers... the then 37-year-old woman is quite sexy, exhibiting a fine blend of innocence, elegance, and lust.

    • Birte Tove shamefully reveals nothing in BEDSIDE MAZURKA (her film debut), but is the film's heroine and is one good-looking Scandinavian sweetie. Like her co-star above, Ms. Tove returned to the screen in a mini-TV series in 1997, after a twenty year absence, playing a nurse. (Lars von Trier's reputable THE KINGDOM.) The Scoopy archives unfortunately reveal not a thing about the bashful blonde, but some of her titles indicate she couldn't have always been so coy. One title where I guess she lets it all hang out is 1974's Chinese-made WIP potboiler, BAMBOO HOUSE OF DOLLS where Birte again played a nurse who arranges an escape from a Japanese P.O.W. camp. She was also in 1972's Z.P.G., with Oliver Reed.

    • Susanne Jagd was 27 when she appeared as Maria in BEDSIDE MAZURKA; the actress has performed in a healthy number of screen fare, and had a bit part (playing a customer) in a 2000 feature film, after a twenty year absence!

    • The Unknowns of "Bedside Mazurka". The actress Jeanette Swensson is one or the other of the two characters presented here; if "Toplřs ekspeditrice" translates to anything like "topless saleswoman," then the identity of Ms. Swensson would become the actress who plays the "porn lady."

    As always, Mister Grundy invites you to visit his Yahoo forum, Sick Sexy Sinema Shots.

    Crimson Ghost
    'Caps and comments by Crimson Ghost:

    First up from the Ghost...A cute and nekkid Texan, Jodie Fisher in several scenes from her first movie, the 1992 'erotic thriller' "Intimate Obsession". Between the 'caps and the vids, we see all 3 B's.

    Vidcap highlights:
    Links #2 and #9...toplessness and pubes.
    Link #5...partial rear nudity

    The .wmvs...

    • .wmv #1 a sweaty, after sex scene with the camera panning from her feet to her head. Excellent rear nudity.
    • .wmv #2, toplessness and very brief pube views as she sits up in bed.
    • .wmv #3, topless in a love scene.
    • .wmv #4, taking off her bra and revealing the goodies.

    Next up, a few assorted .wmvs:

    • Eliza Dushku grabbing Angela Featherstone breasts in a scene from "Soul Survivors" (2001).

    • Irčne Jacob, brief breast views and showing off a first class bum in a scene from "The Big Brass Ring" (1999).

    • Another vid of the gorgeous Irčne Jacob, this time we see breasts and bush in a scene from the off-beat comedy/drama/spy-flick "Spy Games" (2000).

    • Famke Janssen, the tall, Dutch babe and "X-Men" co-star in scenes from "Lord of Illusions" (1995). She's nekkid, but the goods are just out of sight. (1, 2)

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "House of Sand and Fog"
    Some movies just grab you by the throat and never let go, and this powerful 2003 drama is one of those. The cast is outstanding and the story twists and turns to a surprising outcome. It isn't a really pleasant story, however, and you may find it rather a downer.

    A woman recently abandoned by her husband is wrongly evicted from her house for back taxes she doesn't really owe. Emotionally a mess from the broken marriage and alcoholism, she is now homeless and becomes obsessed with getting her house back from an Iranian immigrant who bought it at auction for a quarter of it's real value with the intent of reselling it for a huge profit.

    In the middle of all this, a married cop falls in love with the woman while trying to help her get back her house. Things come to a surprising climax that will blow you away. See this movie.

    Shelley Long

    (1, 2, 3)

    PK Orion 'caps from the 1982 comedy "Night Shift", directed by Ron Howard. A great 80's comedy with one of the best lines ever delivered on film..."Oh, that Barney Rubble. What an actor."

    A pre-"Cheers" Long looks good in undies, and the unknowns are topless.

    Julie Delpy Topless and getting felt up in scenes from "An American Werewolf in Paris" (1997).

    Ann-Margret Excellent, all wet see-thru views in scenes from the 1977 UK comedy, "Joseph Andrews".

    Claudia Jennings
    (1, 2, 3)

    The former Heffer of the Year (1970) and star of Drive-in classics like "'Gator Bait" (1976). Here she is topless and full frontal in Skin-man 'caps from the movie "Deathsport" (1978). Sadly, this popular heffer and B-actress passed away in 1979, just shy of her 30th birthday.