• * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.








Legal Seduction


This is yet another of the softcore films with a plot more typical of a hardcore, mostly consisting of tepid simulated sex.

Gidget Fontaine (Holly Hollywood) graduated from Harvard Law, got a perfect score on the bar exam, and is starting her job one of the five most prestigious law firms in the country. She lives with party girl roommate April (Amber Michaels), who always seems to be naked, usually in the hands of a naked man, but who also gives wonderful free advice. Gidget's new boss seems to have a stick up his ass, and gives her nothing but trouble, but April explains that he is hot for her, and doesn't know what to do about it. When Gidget sees the boss man screwing Paige Richards on his conference table, and then hears all the good things he has to say about her, she decides to seduce him. Her strategy? Show up for work nearly naked. She had it half right, but didn't bring beer.

Oh well, she got the job done.

Holly Hollywood showed everything, and miraculously, didn't poke any eyes out with her erect nipples. Amber Michaels and Paige Richards also show everything.

Amber Michaels

Holly Hollywood

Paige Richards




The Devil of Blue Mountain


Off to bad movie land today. This one is so obscure that IMDB has not heard of it. You know a film's budget is low when they list it in dollars and cents.

Oh well, at least we wound up with two "Babes in Bondage."


Ashley E. Simpson gets all tied up in these two caps.

Ashley with Angella Adelle Blanton.

Angela bares all, while Ashley gets naked but really shows nothing in these five caps.

Angella with full frontal tied to a tree. Nine caps and four clips.







Nightmare Man


Another of the clunkers in the "8 Films to Die For" series, 2006's Nightmare Man is pretty bad, but it does feature one of my favorite horror queens, Tiffany Shepis. As always, Tiffany happily gives it up for the team, as does, to a lesser extent, Blythe Metz. And Blythe has some immense (apparently real) boobies.

After receiving a demonic African mask, Ellen (Blythe Metz) claims to have been attacked by a being wearing the mask. She calls him the Nightmare Man. Her husband and her doctor call her Looney Tunes, schizophrenic actually, and convince her to go to a mental hospital for evaluation.

On the way to the hospital, (set deep in the remote wilderness, naturally) they run out of gas, and hubby must walk 10 miles while Ellen waits, happily munching don't-be-crazy pills.

Who couldn't have seen this coming: after some time, she is attacked by the Nightmare Man, and escapes into the woods with him hot on her trail. She stumbles on a house and asks the two couples vacationing there for help, but after they call hubby on the cell and he tells them she's nutsy, their attention turns to helping her chill, until as expected, the non-existent Nightmare Man shows up to start offing everybody.

Well, give the filmmakers some credit, even that has a twist, but overall, its pretty average B-movie horror; however, the women help ... a lot.

Hannah Putnam Blythe Metz Tiffany Shepis






Notes and collages

I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With


Sarah Silverman









Messalina, Messalina!


Annika DiLorenzo and Lori Wagner play the exact same two characters in this film that they played in Guccione's lame-ass but star-studded Caligula film. In fact, some of the video boxes label it Caligula 2.

But this one is a comedy! Well, that was the intention.

Five film clips of Annika DiLorenzo













Vanna Barba

Irene Grazioli









Two more of Mena Suvari in a thong, but this time it's a different thong!


Marisa Tomei in Before the Devil Knows You're Dead

This time 1920x1080!


Clips from New Films

Elena Anaya in Miguel y William (2007)

Miriam Giovanelli in Miguel y William (2007)

Claire Keim in La Vie a une (2008)

Maria Ballesteros in Noise (2007)

Elizabeth Berkley (?!) in Moving Malcolm (2003). It's not really brand-new, but I don't know of anyone who's actually seen it, so it's new to us. It's a one-man indie written by, directed by and starring the actor Benjamin Ratner.

There is nothing wrong with your computer. This tiny little clip has no sound.

Berkeley's been keeping a low profile, hasn't she? (sample right)


Classic Film Clips

Sophie Marceau in L'Amour Braque. If you haven't ever seen this short clip, you MUST. The screen nudity legend was 18 years old and offering up full frontal nudity in this Dostoevsky adaptation. She and the director (Andrej Zulawski) would later make three more movies and a child. She was 28 when their son was born, he was 55. Zulawski has not made another film since his last with Marceau in 2000.

Jenny Agutter in Walkabout, one of the all-time best films for nudity, including some particularly intimate underwater scenes.

Speaking of great underwater action: Melanie Griffith in Night Moves

Maruschka Detmers in Il Diavolo in Corpo (famous screen BJ from a mainstream actress)

Stefania Casini in 1900. A classic scene. Stefania gives hand-jobs to DeNiro and Depardieu at the same time. Lots of sausage on display, of course.

1970s Euro-crap legend Gloria Guida in Il Solco di Pesca

Greta Scacchi in The Red Violin

Two films with Lesley-Anne Down: Hanover Street and The First Great Train Robbery


Not-so-Classic Film Clips

(but important in some way)

Ali Landry in Repli-Kate. It could be some rare nudity from her. I don't know for sure, but based on her record, that long shot is probably a double.

Brande Roderick in Stripper Wives. This film was made before she became the Playmate of the Month in April 2000. (She was also the 2001 Playmate of the Year). It's atypical for Playboy to feature former softcore porn actresses, although many playmates have taken that route after their centerfolds.