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OTHER CRAP:
Catch the deluxe
version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles,
here.
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Legal Seduction
(2005)
This is yet another of the softcore films
with a plot more typical of a hardcore, mostly consisting of tepid simulated
sex.
Gidget Fontaine (Holly Hollywood) graduated from
Harvard Law, got a perfect score on the bar exam, and is starting her job one
of the five most prestigious law firms in the country. She lives with party
girl roommate April (Amber Michaels), who always seems to be naked, usually in
the hands of a naked man, but who also gives wonderful free advice. Gidget's
new boss seems to have a stick up his ass, and gives her nothing but trouble,
but April explains that he is hot for her, and doesn't know what to do about
it. When Gidget sees the boss man screwing Paige Richards on his conference
table, and then hears all the good things he has to say about her, she decides
to seduce him. Her strategy? Show up for work nearly naked. She had it half
right, but didn't bring beer.
Oh well, she got the job done.
Holly Hollywood showed everything, and miraculously, didn't poke any eyes
out with her erect nipples. Amber Michaels and Paige Richards also show
everything.
Amber Michaels
Holly Hollywood
Paige Richards
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The Devil of Blue Mountain
2007
Off to bad movie land today. This one is so obscure that IMDB has not
heard of it. You know a film's budget is low when they list it in dollars
and cents.
Oh well, at least we wound up with two "Babes in Bondage."
Ashley E. Simpson gets all tied up in these
two caps.
 
Ashley with Angella Adelle Blanton.
Angela bares all, while Ashley gets naked but
really shows nothing in these five caps.
Angella with full frontal tied to a tree. Nine
caps and four
clips.
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Nightmare Man
(2006)
Another of the clunkers in the "8 Films to Die For" series, 2006's
Nightmare Man is pretty bad, but it does feature one of my favorite horror
queens, Tiffany Shepis. As always, Tiffany happily gives it up for the
team, as does, to a lesser extent, Blythe Metz. And Blythe has some
immense (apparently real) boobies.
After receiving a demonic African mask, Ellen (Blythe Metz) claims to
have been attacked by a being wearing the mask. She calls him the
Nightmare Man. Her husband and her doctor call her Looney Tunes,
schizophrenic actually, and convince her to go to a mental hospital for
evaluation.
On the way to the hospital, (set deep in the remote wilderness,
naturally) they run out of gas, and hubby must walk 10 miles while Ellen
waits, happily munching don't-be-crazy pills.
Who couldn't have seen this coming: after some time, she is attacked by
the Nightmare Man, and escapes into the woods with him hot on her trail.
She stumbles on a house and asks the two couples vacationing there for
help, but after they call hubby on the cell and he tells them she's nutsy,
their attention turns to helping her chill, until as expected, the
non-existent Nightmare Man shows up to start offing everybody.
Well, give the filmmakers some credit, even that has a twist, but
overall, its pretty average B-movie horror; however, the women help ... a
lot.
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| Hannah Putnam |
Blythe Metz |
Tiffany Shepis |
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Notes and collages
I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With
2007
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Sarah Silverman
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Messalina, Messalina!
(1977)
Annika DiLorenzo and Lori Wagner play the exact same
two characters in this film that they played in Guccione's lame-ass but
star-studded Caligula film. In fact, some of the video boxes label it Caligula
2.
But this one is a comedy! Well, that was the
intention.
Five
film clips of Annika DiLorenzo
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Pics
Two more of Mena Suvari in a thong, but this time it's a different
thong!
 
Marisa Tomei in Before the Devil Knows You're Dead
This time 1920x1080!
Clips from New Films
Elena Anaya in Miguel y
William (2007)
Miriam Giovanelli in
Miguel y William (2007)
Claire Keim in La Vie a une (2008)
Maria Ballesteros in Noise (2007)
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Berkley (?!) in Moving Malcolm (2003). It's not really
brand-new, but I don't know of anyone who's actually seen it, so
it's new to us. It's a one-man indie written by, directed by and
starring the actor Benjamin Ratner.
There is nothing wrong with your computer. This tiny little clip
has no sound.
Berkeley's been keeping a low profile, hasn't she? (sample right) |
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Classic Film Clips
Sophie Marceau in
L'Amour Braque. If you haven't ever seen this short clip, you MUST.
The screen nudity legend was 18 years old and offering up full frontal
nudity in this Dostoevsky adaptation. She and the director (Andrej
Zulawski) would later make three more movies and a child. She was 28 when
their son was born, he was 55. Zulawski has not made another film since
his last with Marceau in 2000.
Jenny Agutter in Walkabout,
one of the all-time best films for nudity, including some particularly
intimate underwater scenes.
Speaking of great underwater action:
Melanie Griffith in Night
Moves
Maruschka
Detmers in Il Diavolo in Corpo (famous screen BJ from a mainstream
actress)
Stefania Casini in 1900. A
classic scene. Stefania gives hand-jobs to DeNiro and Depardieu at the
same time. Lots of sausage on display, of course.
1970s Euro-crap legend
Gloria Guida in Il Solco
di Pesca
Greta Scacchi in The
Red Violin
Two films with Lesley-Anne Down:
Hanover Street and
The
First Great Train Robbery
Not-so-Classic Film Clips
(but important in some way)
Ali Landry in Repli-Kate.
It could be some rare nudity from her. I don't know for sure, but based on
her record, that long shot is probably a double.
Brande Roderick in
Stripper Wives. This film was made before she became the
Playmate of the Month in April 2000. (She was also the 2001 Playmate of
the Year). It's atypical for Playboy to feature former softcore porn
actresses, although many playmates have taken that route after their
centerfolds.
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