* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.







Cinderella 2000

Cinderella 2000 (1977) was produced during that brief period in the late 70s and early 80s when the drive-in market had shrunk, the VCR market had not yet grown, and soft core was viable material for theatrical release. In reaction to the success of the Alex de Renzy XXX version of  Alice in Wonderland, producer Sam Sherman decided that adult versions of Disney stories set to music were a good idea, but he also felt that everyone else would be making them as well, so he added a couple of twists to make his unique, namely setting it in 2047 and on another planet. Director Al Adamson merged the concept with an idea of his own about a planet where fornication was forbidden, except when the "central computer" paired two people. The fairy godfather was a space traveler trying to get the whole universe making love.

John Prince (Prince Charming) was the legal sex surrogate. The leader was a hypocrite, who spent hours in a secret room with porn and other things he had made illegal. The penalty for illegal fornication was to be shrunk for six months to the size of Ken and Barbie, and an annoying robot was created to enforce the fornication laws. Many people thought it was worth the risk. Besides the frequent violations, many of those selected by computer for sex just had lost interest, as sex without emotion did so little for them. From there, the story plays itself out somewhat predictably, with soft-core sex and naughty song-and-dance numbers.

Both the US version and the German version are included on the DVD, both are full screen transfers remastered from early materials, but neither is the best possible version, especially since the pan-and-scan technique resulted in some awkward crops. The original widescreen prints do exist, but Sam Sherman felt the cost of a complete restoration would be too great to be offset by the limited market for this film. As a result, the strongest feature on the DVD is not he film itself, but a 56 minute commentary in which  Sherman talks about the making of the film.

IMDb readers say 1.9, which is a little overly harsh. This is a hard one to score. It is corny, the acting, for the most part, could have been much better, and it isn't very explicit. On the other hand, it is a truly wacky idea, and not something that would ever be made today, so let's call it a C- for lovers of curiosity items.

Catherine Erhardt, as Cindy, shows breasts and buns.



Sherri Coyle, as a fornicator, does full frontal.


Adina Ross and Buri Cowans show breasts as the wicked stepsisters.

Adina Ross ....

 ... Buri Cowans



Several unidentified women also show body parts. Much of the unknown nudity was added for the German market, which felt there was not enough nudity in the film.











Silent Night, Deadly Night

Today the Time Machine returns to 1984 for more from Silent Night, Deadly Night. The lovely Toni Nero shows the boobs and, per the unwritten code of the genre, gets a blade to the belly from Santa. Who could have dreamed that "Ho-ho, ho!" was actually a form of direct address?









Welcome to Woop Woop

Teddy (Johnathon Schaech) is a New York con man who flees to Australia hoping to escape his troubles. He soon meets a sex-crazed tomboy named Angie (Susie Porter), and the next thing he knows he is awakening from a blackout, finding himself in the remote town of Woop Woop. Daddy-O (Rod Taylor), the head of the town and Angie's father, informs Teddy that nobody who enters Woop Woop is allowed to leave. The town survives off cigarettes, Kangaroo meat and beer, and has a peculiar if not nasty way of living that everybody has to abide by.

The movie is crazy, everyone overacts, the script is all over the place, but still is funny, especially Rob Taylor as Daddy-O.

Susie Porter







Notes and collages

"Farscape" - Part 22

coming soon

Rok is taking some well-deserved R&R away from his keyboard and his DVD player. As Ah-nuld would say, "He'll be back."

Ah-nuld loves this time of year, when everyone brews his favorite beer: Bock. When he was a young boy, participating in the Austrian Brewery Pageant, when all the girls dress up as pretzels and all the boys as beer, the other lads all wanted to be Pilsener, or even Stout. But Ah-nuld would always say, "I'll be Bock"






Fergie (Stacy Ann Ferguson) of the Black-Eyed Peas shows some ass-crack
Megan Goddard in Cadaverella
Natasha Hamilton of Atomic Kitten is caught on a topless beach by the paparazzi

Two film clips from the first episode of The Tudors: Ruta Gedimintas and Anna Brewster
Julia Brendler in a scene from Sawdust Tales






The Comedy Wire

Comments in yellow...

Art Institute of Chicago student David Cordero has sparked controversy with his papier mache statue called "Blessing," a figure of Barak Obama as Jesus. Cordero said it's just meant to caution people not to assign so many inflated expectations to one person and think he's going to be their savior.  The Obama campaign distanced themselves from it.  The school has gotten both complaints from religious people and offers to buy it. 

*  Hillary Clinton offered them 30 pieces of silver to destroy it.

*  Obama Jesus can feed the multitudes with a few loaves and fishes, but it will cost them $5,000 a plate.

The Daily Telegraph reports that you can now fly with your own rocket pack.  The Rocket Belt was invented by Mexican adrenaline junkie Juan Manuel Lozano, creator of the Rocket Bike, a mountain bike with an 1100-horsepower rocket that can reach 160 mph in five seconds.  He is selling the Rocket Belt through his company, TAM (Tecnologia Aerospacial Mexican).  He says the main difference between it and the one used by James Bond in "Thunderball" is that his uses modern materials and is more powerful.  The original could lift a man 30 feet high at 10 mph, but Lozano's has 800-horsepower
rockets and can shoot a man 300 feet high at 60 mph. One drawback: it costs about $250,000 (US). 

*  Payable in advance.

*  Another drawback: the quick and fiery death. 

*  He could sell a million of them in Mexico if he could just build a cheaper model that could clear a fence. 

WEBSITE!  For all you shoppers: http://www.tecaeromex.com