"Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol"
Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987) is the fourth in the 7 installment Police Academy series, and, by this time, it had already become a parody of itself. This is mainly notable because we finally see Leslie Easterbrook in a wet T-shirt. The commandant of the academy has come up with a citizen involvement scheme, where interested citizens take a simplified training course at the academy, and then assist law enforcement. The governor is excited about the program, as is the chief. Highlights include a high speed chase, police cars after skate borders, and a biplane and hot air balloon pursuit.
IMDb readers have this at $3.4 of 10. Rotten Tomatoes scores is 0%. Fans of Bobcat Goldwait might enjoy his usual stick, and Sharon Stone has a minor role as a news reporter, and Steve Guttenberg's love interest. This was the longest 88 minutes I have spent in a long time. Note that the TV version was a little longer, and the extra footage was included on the DVD. This is a D, and will probably not please even fans of the series.
Casual Sex? (1988) is a romantic comedy adapted from the stage, and concerns two young women friends, Lea Thompson and Victoria Jackson, who are trying to find true love in the face of aids. They decide to vacation at a health spa, hoping to find Mr. Right. Jackson thoroughly enjoyed the sexual revolution, whereas her friend Thompson had been the last virgin in her sorority, and never had an orgasm with someone else in the room. They go through several frogs before they find their princes.
Both show buns. Most who commented at IMDb praised the performance of Andrew Dice Clay as one of the more obnoxious men at the spa. IMDb readers have it at 4.6 of 10. Much of the film is talking heads, with one or both of the woman directly talking to the audience. A little more nudity and sex, and more effort at situations that had humorous potential would have helped this film, but the post sexual revolution AIDES scare is now a pretty dated theme. This is another D.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Gable and Lombard (1976):
I guess I should start off by saying that I don't really know
anything about the lives of Clark Gable and Carole Lombard, and this is
essentially a joint biopic of those two great stars, focusing in on
the portion of their lives when they were Hollywood's most notorious
non-couple. (Gable was unable to get a divorce from his wife, and
that was a puritanical time, so Gable and Lombard saw each other
only in private.)
I can't tell you if the actors nailed
the real characters, but I can say that Jill Clayburgh seemed to
capture Carole Lombard's screen persona perfectly, so if Carole was
the same off screen, it was a great impersonation. I have a feeling
that the brassy, sassy, wisecrackin' tomboy was only a small portion
of Lombard's personality, and by keeping everything on that level,
Clayburgh and the screenwriter essentially made this a
feature-length sitcom special like those extra-length shows that
Lucy and Desi used to do once in a while. As for Brolin, well, I
think he missed it. He got Gable's cockiness just fine, but the
essence of Gable, as I see it, is that underneath the cockiness was
a man's man - an unpretentious, deferential, chivalrous,
down-to-earth guy who would be happier hunting and playing poker
with his pals than being a movie star. In fact, he probably
preferred fishing to seducing women. The word was that he was one of the worst lays ever.
This film got sort
of close to that, but the way Brolin played it, underneath the
cockiness was a complete rube, a backwoods maroon who would have
worn his pants five inches above his socks unless somebody told him
not to. I have a feeling that Gable wasn't the cartoon fool that is
occasionally portrayed here. There is no avoiding a central tenet of
casting. In order to portray a charismatic star, one must be a
charismatic star. If you want to make a film about Welles or Chaplin
or Belushi, you need a comparable genius to portray your subject.
James Brolin has none of Gable's magic. He's just a good looking TV
actor doing the sort of impersonation you'd see on SNL or SCTV.
James Brolin as Clark Gable? Oh, puh-leez!
If you ignore the fact that this
actually seems to be a movie about the romance between Gable and Lombard's
onscreen personae, rather than between real people, further tainted a bit by Brolin's excessive dose of "aw
shucksiness", it isn't a bad watch. The minimal ratings from TV
Guide and the IMDb voters are somewhat too harsh, in my opinion.
If you forget about the names of
the characters, it's kind of a sweet movie about two people who
really loved one another, and had to hide it from the world. It is
superficial and slapstick, but it has a good heart and a few small
laughs, and it
adds a little depth by dealing with the hypocrisy of the society of
the 30s that wanted its stars chaste offscreen, or at least that's
what the Hays Code and the Catholic Legion of Decency believed, and
it was their view which prevailed for three decades.
I might actually have liked the film if it hadn't overstayed its
welcome at 132 minutes!
A C- by our standard.
This movie is rated R, but I'll be damned if I know why. The
closest it comes to nudity is shown below.
The Blue Max (1966):
CK Roach got me interested in this one. He wrote an excellent
review here, and he
really liked the film. I thought it was worth the watch, but I was
far less enthusiastic than he.
For one thing, given that it probably
had the highest budget of any film that year, you'd think that
somebody would have double-checked the locations for obvious
anachronisms. It is bad enough that the town near their airbase has
1960s-style electrical and telephone lines, but what was really
irritating was the fact that they made no attempt to hide them.
This flaw, however, was royally
trumped by the fact that almost all the houses had TV antennae just
like the ones my family had in 1966 (see picture on the scoopy.com
wonder which programs they could receive in 1916.
I agree with CK that the use of
accents was confusing, but I wouldn't single out James Mason for his
British accent. This was about the German Army, and most of the
minor characters spoke English with a German accent, as per a common
screen convention, but James Mason spoke with his usual smarmy
Lolita voice, and George Peppard spoke his farm-boy American. I
think a film should choose one convention or another. If German is
to be represented by English with a German accent, I don't agree
with that decision, but if that is the final choice, then let it be
so consistently. I much prefer the common Royal Shakespeare Society
convention of representing aristocratic foreign speech with
aristocratic English, and representing working class foreign speech
with working class English. When that convention is employed, we can all immediately identify what we
are being shown, and it lets us identify with the characters as
common human types which are probably as familiar to our own culture
as to the culture being portrayed.
As CK noted, The Blue Max is a great
film in the air. It is worth seeing just for the dogfights, aerial
stunts, and the stirring Jerry Goldsmith score.
Unfortunately the film shows its Achilles heel when it is on the
ground. Although the basic storyline is a good one, it is dragged
out too long by too many predictable developments and trite dialogue
and scenes with Ursula Andress not naked.
I reckon it is a C by
our standard. Good war movie, but not a great one. A must-see if,
like CK, you like the aviation stuff. I immediately set the DVD
aside to give to my nephew, who wants to be a pilot, and who loves
biplanes and triplanes. I'll bet that he will tell me it is his
This one seems tame by 2004 standards, but had a
LOT of nudity for 1966.
- Charlie's French Cinema Nudity Site is updated
In today's Funhouse I watched the sapphic scene from Lianna and
the name Jane Hallaren rang a big bell. I remembered her as Stella,
the owner/waitress of the little coffee shop in Body Heat. Every
time I've watched that movie, which is a LOT, I've always thought
how attractive she is. Well, sir, I think a whole lot more now.
Sure glad I got to see her nekkid and making love with another
woman. Thanks a bunch, Scoop.
Scoop says- I never made that connection,
great observation! But the thanks goes to Shiloh, who combs the
globe looking for that kind of rare material, and came up with that
one out of the blue.
This Crap Is SportsCenter? - The decline and fall of ESPN's
Baseball's spring wardrobe blowout for 2004.
- Four free short videos from
Playboy's Cheerleaders & College Girls!
- Karen McDougal was the Playmate in December of 1997. Here is
her free, nude
Playmate gallery, courtesy of
ESPN Radio - The Women of AllNight Collection
A popular reality TV show has broadcast live sex, in Romania.
Are there gymnasts involved? Lesbian vampires? Who knows the
satellite codes for that station?
Lara Flynn Boyle does her stretching exercises before a date
with Ron Jeremy.
- Because you'll believe anything:
"A university student who drank too many Cokes died from carbon
dioxide poisoning." (Hint: if you see this on a
true/false test, avoid the "true" column.)
One more rat seeks a rope to shore. Colin Powell
expresses doubts about WMD claims.
Kelly Osbourne drug rehab. It's kind of a family
- The international trailer for the early Razzie favorite,
LIFE-SIZE KERRY ROBOT HITS CAMPAIGN TRAIL. Uncanny
Android Subs for Convalescing Senator
Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry doesn't have a
Republican-leaning French cousin. President Bush is not pushing
legislation that would have other countries pay off the deficit.
Pennsylvania Republican Sen. Arlen Specter is not retiring to
study Scottish Common Law. (April Fool's Day crap)
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles rob a casino.
The Straight Dope studies whether Abraham Lincoln was gay?
Where exactly did he put the Lincoln Log?
Bill Murray says Kathleen Turner is "a great fuck".
The famous 'Bored Boy' To Appear On Letterman Show.
Under pressure from Cheney's attorney, publisher cancels reissue
of Lynne Cheney's lesbotronic novel.
- URL says it all:
Disney fleshes out dates for 2004 line-up
Marlon Brando, The Godfather of Method, somehow lives to be 80!
Jon Stewart takes a look at high fuel prices.
- This is the trailer for
Two Brothers, a Jean-Jacques Annaud film about two
tiger siblings separated as cubs.
Man in 'Tigger' Costume Charged With Molesting Girl, Mom at
Disney World. Hey, they should have known that from
the song about Tiggers. "They're loaded with vim and with vigor
- they love to leap in your laps."
Remarks by Former President George H.W. Bush Denouncing
So-Called Intellectuals Too Dense to Notice America's Wondrous
Progress in Iraq
Judge declares mistrial in Tyco corruption case
Textbook piracy runs rampant in developing countries, costing
publishers and authors millions of dollars. It is
hilarious to visit some parts of the world and look at the books
and CDs for sale, by artists like Carlie Sighmen (with a picture
of the real Carly). At one point I asked the international
parent company's reps if they knew their dealers in Egypt were
selling illegal bootlegs. They told me everything was legal. I
responded that it is fairly typical in legal CDs to spell the
performers' names right! Many were spelled phonetically, the way
they pronounce English there - Sinatra's first name was spelled
"frenk" for example.
- First trailer for the Natalie Portman dramedy,
Companies add 300,000 Jobs in March, the fastest pace
of the millennium.
- First time caller, long time Superman reader:
Seinfeld talks sports on a NY radio station.
Mouseketeer roll call. Count off now!
A Cambodian man cut off his penis when he said he was visited by
four hungry spirits in a dream and he had no chicken or duck to
offer them.. He said, "Devils, I don't have any
chicken or duck for you. If you want to eat anything, you can
eat my penis." That line works a lot better on evil spirits than
it worked on my second wife.
Studios set release dates for Batman Begins, X-Men 3, and
Fantastic Four .
- Improve your athletic performance with
PowerSox. No wonder I sucked at sports. I had the
wrong socks! Imagine if I could take a pair of PowerSox with me
into a time machine, and guard Wilt's ass in his 100 point game.
He'd be lucky to hit double figures.
- More Arena Football cheerleaders -
The Columbus Wardogs. I guess the lady in the front
row center must be somebody's mom
A 'Coach' reunion on 'The District' : The former
stars of "Coach" - Craig T. Nelson, Jerry Van Dyke and Bill
Fagerbakke - keep cracking up on the set of the CBS drama "The
- Here are four free short videos from
Playboy's Beach Babes!
- Gillian Bonner was a Playmate of the month in 1996. Here is
her free, nude,
Playmate gallery, courtesy of
- The trailer for the new comedy from that master of subtlety,
The Ringer. Desperate for cash to help a friend in
need and pay off his smarmy uncle’s gambling debts, Steve Barker
sinks to an all time low...he attempts to fix the Special
Olympics by pretending to be a person with intellectual
disabilities. But he is completely out-classed by his fellow
Olympians, who are not only superior athletes, they’re also
wiser in the ways of the world. Several of his fellow
competitors immediately spot Steve as a fraud, but because they
too would like to see the fall of Jimmy, the snooty reigning
champion, they join forces to help The Ringer win. Together they
train Steve to become a better athlete and, most importantly, a
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
A little of this, a little of that. Some women seen
Amy Madigan in Alamo Bay. (.avi
version, .wmv version).
Barbra Hershey in Boxcar Bertha. Unbelievably, this
film was directed by Martin Scorcese. (.avi
version, .wmv version (1,
4). The .avi version is a big
download, includes all four scenes, plus one more.
Brigitte Bardot - And God Created Woman (.avi
version, .wmv version).
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
Vénus Beauté (institut) 1999 is a French chick-flick.
All the principal characters are women and all the
plot points have women at their centers and men at
their peripheries, playing pawn or acting like
furniture. Not sure what the estrogen ranking ought
to be, but I'm pretty sure it's in the double digits.
So why the hell didn't I hate it?
Well, it's pretty darn intelligent. And quirky. And
it has Nathalie Baye as its central character. Here I
will admit to something. You know that early Woody
Allen comedy in which he sees a buxom blonde on the
dance floor and says he'd sell his mother to the Arabs
for her (this would be a reference to Joseph and his
brothers, not to the current state of life in the
Middle East)? Well, I'd do that for Nathalie Baye.
She is neither blonde, nor buxom but she comes across
on screen as the other woman of my dreams. I'd watch
The Passion if she was in it. Hell, I'd watch Kill
Bill again if she were in that odiferous concoction of
celluloid toxic waste.
Best reason I liked Venus Beaute is that while it is a
French chick-flick it is also a French-chick flick.
Several French actresses give up some goodies. That's
real good news because the current crop of French
actresses are down-right breathtaking, infinitely more
attractive IMHO than all the gen Y bims that inhabit
American movies (I mean honestly now, if you were
given the choice of living a year on an otherwise
desert isle with Ludivine Sagnier or Christina Ricci,
who would you choose?)
The French women in question are Audrey Tautou, who
gives us cleavage only but looks oh so spectacular
doing it, Clare Nebout, who does two wonderful
triple-B scenes, and Helene Fillieres (brief boobs
only). Nathalie Baye takes a shower but the camera
stays on her face, and ya know, I didn't mind it at
Venus Beaute. If all chick-flicks were like this one
we'd be the ones dragging our significant others to
'Caps and comments by Vejiita:
Today we have Allison Smith and Hedy Burres from the movie "Los Años Barbaros".
This is the second time I've 'capped this movie, but this time from a DVD! Even though the movie is not available for for sale on DVD, a newspaper here in Spain is giving a DVD each week with Spanish movies, and I was very glad they added this one to the giveaway!
- Allison Smith, the former child star from the series "Kate & Allie" going topless and showing far off frontal and rear views.
- Hedy Burress, also full frontal, but sadly even more far off.
'Caps and comments by Johnny Moronic:
"Ashes and Sand"
Now this is one weird ass film. It begins as a romantic drama of unrequainted love between a troubled petty criminal 16 year old girl (Lara Belmont from "The War Zone") and an older detective (Nick Moran) and works really well for 75 minutes until the darkness begins. The last 30 mins is quite something else and even I winced a couple of times and some of the things. Not an easy watch, but is helped by good performances all round, particularly from Lara.
- Lara Belmont. Cleavage in #2, hand down her pants in #3 and undies in #8 and #9.
|Marvin 'caps from the Italian movie "Guardami" (1999), which is based on the life of the late Italian porn star Moana Pozzi. Cavallotti shows everything including some gyno-views.
Since the movie is based on the life of a porn star, there are some more explicit images here and there.
Here's a breakdown of the more explicit views:
Links 17 and 18: There are a couple of erect dudes.
Link #19: She shaves her pubes
Links 20 and 21: We see a piercing down under.
Links 25-28: A BJ scene.
|Señor-Skin 'caps from the excellent Monica Bellucci movie "Malèna" (2000). In this scene we see Morucci topless and full frontal.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
"SIMPSONS" STARS ON STRIKE
Don't Go On Strike, Just Do A Half-Assed Job - The actors who provide the
voices for "The Simpsons" are on strike and have boycotted script readings
for the show's 16th season since failing to reach a new contract agreement.
They want $365,000 an episode, up from $125,000. The first time they went
on strike, they were earning $30,000 an episode, and Fox threatened to hire
replacement voices rather than pay them more. One show insider told
Variety that it's not fair to compare them to other sitcom stars because
they voice an entire show in six hours, so they'd be getting $365,000 for
just one day's work.
And they can do it while sitting down and eating donuts!
As opposed to the back-breaking labor put in by the cast of "Friends."
But they play dozens of characters, so replacing them would cost a
If Fox needs a replacement voice for Homer, they already have a moronic
doofus under contract: Joe Millionaire.
FCC SAYS SOAPS ARE TOO DIRTY
Dennis Franz Does Soaps? - FCC commissioner Michael J. Copps, who has led
the campaign against shock radio, is eying a new target. He says he
stumbled across a soap opera while channel-surfing and thought it was far
too steamy for mid-afternoon. For instance, a recent episode of CBS's "The
Guiding Light" showed a woman pulling down her boyfriend's briefs, exposing
his bare bottom. But the editor of "Soap Opera Digest" said the amount of
sex on soaps is blown out of all proportion, that fans like stories about
relationships, and that "these shows are about romance, not sex."
I thought they were for women who liked seeing sexy guys get blown out
of all proportion.
Soap operas are about relationships...Sick, twisted relationships.
Only the really evil twins get naked.
Take all the sex out of soap operas and all you've got left is soap
The administration is afraid too many women might vote for Bush, so
they're trying to drive them all away.
VIAGRA MAY PREVENT PREGNANCY
It IS A Male Miracle Drug! - A study by Queen's University in Belfast found
that taking Viagra may not be a good idea if you want to start a family.
They found that Viagra can speed up a chemical process the sperm uses to
penetrate the egg. By the time the sperm reaches the egg, it's already
spent. This didn't matter when Viagra was only used by older people, but
now, young men are using it as a sex enhancer.
News flash: most of the young guys using it as a sex enhancer don't WANT
to start a family.
What good is Viagra to women if it makes guys' sperm get spent too fast?
These are just lab results, but the researchers will study the effects
during actual sex, if they ever manage to have it.
CEREALS NOT AS HEALTHY AS YOU'D THINK
Cereal Killers - Britain's Consumers' Association tested 100 breakfast
cereals and found that they were not as healthy as most people think. 85
were more than 10 percent sugar, with some kids' cereals up to 40 percent
sugar. Nine were more than 20 percent saturated fat, while forty contained
"a lot of salt." For example, a 40-gram serving of Kellogg's All-Bran had
four times as much salt as a 25-gram bag of roasted peanuts. A Nestle's
spokesman replied that there is a wide range of cereals to choose from,
such as Shredded Wheat, which has no added salt or sugar.
But it's loaded with carbs!
Some of the cereals are ninety percent sugar, after you put sugar on
I'm shocked to learn that a food shaped like little chocolate vampires
isn't particularly good for you.
This is why I stick to the breakfast of champions: little chocolate