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"The Girls of the B
Movies", from Tuna
I guess the bad news is
that it doesn't seem to identify which movies the
clips are from. The good news is that it's a
compilation of the best nudity from the grade
B's. You remember "That's
Entertainment", in which they only showed
the best songs from various movies? Well, this is
like that, except with tits instead of songs.
Think of it as "That's Gazongas". My
erstwhile friend Richard Parker once wrote a
theme song for this show, even before it ever
existed. To the tune of "That's
Entertainment":
"Call 'em boobs ..
Call 'em hooters or breasts ...
Give me tits
and forget all the rest.
Make 'em big ...
they're the ones I like best
Those are gazongas"
Tuna's thumbnails for this movie,
part 1 Tuna's thumbnails for this movie,
part 2 Amy
Lindsay (1,
2)
Avalon Anders (1,
2,
3)
Chona Jason (1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6)
Griffin Drew (1,
2)
Lauren Hays (1,
2,
3,
4,
5)
Libby George (1,
2,
3,
4)
Linda O'Neal (1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6)
Linnea (1,
2,
3,
4)
Natasha Alexandrovna (1,
2,
3,
4)
Patricia Staples (1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6)
Rebecca Ferrati (1,
2,
3)
Shauna O'Brien (1,
2,
3,
4,
5)
"Adventures
of a Taxi Driver", from Tuna
Correction: Yesterday's
files not labeled correctly. The "Diana
Doors" files should be scrapped, and
replaced by these. Thanks to DB for the tip, and
to Tuna for the quick fix. Angela Scoular (1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7)
"Don
Juan Demarco", from Johnny Web
Once upon a time, there
was a brilliant little movie about a delusional
mental patient who thought he was Sherlock
Holmes, and the psychiatrist (Dr Watson,
serendipitously) who was assigned to his case.
The movie dealt with the nature of reality in an
uplifting way that never took itself too
seriously. That movie was called "They Might
Be Giants", and derived its spirit from
Cervantes as well as Conan-Doyle. I recommend it
without qualification. It is just terrific, and
completely undeserving of its obscurity.
This movie, "Don
Juan Demarco" basically swiped the premise
and the tone of "Giants". This time the
delusional patient thinks he is Don Juan, but the
rest of the developments are predictable if you
know the original premise. So, am I going to tell
you that this one is derivative crap? Not at all.
If you're gonna swipe, swipe from the best. This
movie is pretty much just as good as the other. I
think you will be very impressed with Johnny
Depp's performance. It seems like every time I
see him in a movie, I wonder how such an odd guy
could be so good at nailing his characters, but
it all seems to be easy for him. Even when his
movies suck ("Fear and Loathing", e.g.)
he always does a remarkable job.
The film has a great
musical score, is beautifully photographed, and
is remarkably entertaining as well as
inspirational. It would be perfect if not for
Bryan Adams, and the Canadian government has
already apologized for him. To show you how silly
the Academy is, this movie received only one
nomination - Best Song - the only thing in the
entire movie that sucked. Well, except for
Brando, but even he seemed OK compared to
"Island of Dr Moreau" and some of his
other recent travesties.
There wasn't much
nudity. There is a group harem scene, but the
leads didn't get their clothes off. A body double
played Rachel Ticotin as a young woman. Talisa
Soto got no closer than braless in a peasant
blouse. Geraldine Pailhas showed nothing. Ticotin's Body Double Talisa Soto The harem scene (1,
2,
3)
"The
Killing Hour", from Johnny Web
You've probably seen
this. I think HBO ran it about once a week for a
decade, sometimes called "The
Clairvoyant". A psychic sees crimes as they
occur, and sketches them. It's a form of
automatic writing - she isn't even really aware
of what she is doing. The psychic is exploited by
a news announcer and a cop, both of whom see her
as a route to career advancement and a potential
love interest as well. They both use her talents,
and they both sleep with her.
Not a bad flick. It's a
reasonably taut Grade-B thriller with enough plot
twists to hold your attention on a rainy night
with no woman available. The DVD has a few extra
seconds (pubic hair and violence, I think) of
film, restored to the director's cut, that were
not shown on cable or the theaters, and there are
a couple of uninspiring deleted scenes as well. Unknown art class model Olivia Negron (1,
2,
3)
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