Oh Marbella (2003)
I've mentioned before that the last decade has brought
about a radical change in the types of British films that make it
across the pond. Go back a decade or more, and the only films we saw
from the UK were either stuffy Merchant-Ivory period pieces, or
tedious social commentaries about the destructive nature of the class
system. In the post Carry On days, an occasional comedy would sneak
through, but it would either be a wacky look at historical personages
(they must have a lot of period costumes sitting around), or a wry
look at how the butler is actually a far more competent human being
than the lord of the manor. Then it all changed about a decade ago. We
still get to see only two different types of films, but now it's two
different types. They are either dark comedies about ultra-violent,
drug-fueled gangsters with heavy working class accents; or big-hearted
comedies about eccentric provincials who have indecipherable regional
accents and grow dope or get naked in public or something odd but endearing.
This film is actually a hybrid of both! It is about
Brits on vacation in southern Spain, so it includes the eccentric
people who get naked, the stuffy people who eventually find the nudity
endearing, the small-time con men who peddle various real estate
scams, and the violent drug-fueled gangsters who are either retired in
Spain or trying to kill the guys who are retired in Spain. As for the
tone of the film, it is from the "eccentric, big-hearted" school of
British comedy rather than the black-hearted type found in the Guy
Richie gangster films. The two separate types may be in the same
movie, but their paths don't cross much. The stories basically move in
parallel. I never saw any naked ultra-violent gangsters, for example.
Although Oh Marbella is a joint project of the UK and
Germany and was filmed in Spain, there are few Spanish or German
people to be seen. It is basically a silly, unchallenging, British
comedy. I found it mildly amusing, but nothing to go out of your way
for. The film's most unusual and entertaining characteristic is the
vast amount of nudity from mainstream actors and actresses. If you are
into Charlotte Lucas or Sara Stockbridge, you've found heaven because
they are frequently prancing around stark naked.
There are many more naked unknowns scattered
throughout the film. It's that kind of film.
The fate of the George Mason Jars has been sealed.
Florida's outside game was too much for the Fightin' Mints, as the Gators
fired in 48% from beyond the stripe. Florida earned a 36-6 advantage from
three-point range, and that was all she wrote. It's Florida vs UCLA for all
Top Ten Signs Your Kitty Is Nuts
A new hi-res trailer for The DaVinci Code
Daily Box Office - Friday, March 31, 2006
- Ice Age 2 opened huge with $21 million on Friday alone. It should exceed
its predicted mid-50s estimates.
- It is becoming ever more evident that there is a huge market for films
with African-American characters. ATL will approximately double its
expectations, and that is becoming ever more commonplace for films targeting
- As expected, Basic Instinct 2 will bomb, although the explosion will
apparently be worse than expected.
- Since BI2 was expected to suck, the only genuine disappointment among the
new releases is Slither, a horror/comedy which was greeted with enthusiastic
reviews, but microscopic grosses. It took in less per theater than Basic
Based on screening feedback, it seems that Christina Ricci will be topless in
Black Snake Moan
"Cameron Diaz Courts Victory in Topless Pics Case "
The Office - more fake public service announcements
At least six men came to western North Carolina to have
their genitals mutilated
- Now THERE'S a tourist economy, but I would hesitate
to call this a "package" tour.
- As for you ladies - remember it's EASTERN North
Carolina for your genital mutilation needs! Well, that or India.
"Top Ten Things Overheard During George W. Bush's Trip To
The Smoking Gun:
NASA HQ Raided In Kiddie Porn Probe
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
Swept Away (1974)
Swept Away by an Unusual Destiny in the Blue Sea of August, or Travolti da
un insolito destino nell'azzurro mare d'agosto, is being re-released in a
pristine widescreen transfer under the shortened title "Swept Away." Note that
the film was recently remade by Guy Richie as Swept Away, starring Madonna.
The remake paled compared to the original and was a strong Razzie contender.
The original film was written and directed by Italian Lina Wertmüller, the
darling of the art house crowd in the 70s. It is essentially two stories but
for most of the film there are only two characters. First, and possibly most
interestingly, it is a love story between two people stranded on a
Mediterranean island: Mariangela Melato, a rich, spoiled, privileged wife; and
Giancarlo Giannini, a poor Sicilian sailor.
The second story contrasts her high-handed manner toward Giannini and
Communism while cruising on the sailboat with her rich friends, versus the way
Giannini turns the tables on her once the two are stranded together, when she
eventually becomes his willing servant and lover. Once on the island, Giannini
forces her to work as his servant before he will share the food he catches and
prepares. When she finally decides to make love with him, he refuses her
because he is not convinced she loves him completely. He slaps her whenever
she displeases him, and sometimes just for effect. Eventually, she is so
smitten that she asks him to sodomize her, so he can take her virginity there.
Had he understood what sodomize meant, he might have. Some have tried to apply
a misogamist label to the story, but it is more popular with women than with
men, although not by enough to put it in chick-flick territory. I am not
really sure what Wertmüller was trying to say here, but she wrapped her
messages and themes in a very entertaining if talky love story.
Melato shows breasts in a long scene that almost led to sex.
IMDb readers have this at 7.3. Ebert says 4 stars, and Berardinelli awards
3 1/2, and places it in his top 100 films of all time. The first act, which is
necessary to set the characters and provide the justification for Giannini's
later treatment of Melato, was slow going, but once the main characters were
lost on the small boat, the story took off. This is a C+. If you can tolerate
subtitles, it is absolutely worth the effort.
Got some Hefmate clips for ya. (Zipped .avis in divx format)
- Starting with Jean Manson in
The Young Nurses ... all her little nekkid
scenes pieced into one clip.
- Three of Julie Lynn Cialini (former Heffer of the Month and the Year) in
Watchful Eye. (1,
- Also in that magnum opus was
Juliet Cariaga, former Penthouse Pet.
- Teri Weigel, in a bikini four sizes too small,
- Last up is Suzanne Stokes in
Frostbite. Suzanne whips out the
robo-hooters in a hot tub scene as seen in the theatrical release and the
behind-the-scenes extras on the DVD.
Alien : Resurrection
Alien : Resurrection (1997) is another in the Alien series and once again
stars Sigourney Weaver. There appears to be a bit of an appearance by
and a look at the mostly bare buns of Kim Flowers
More Sigourney Weaver in Eyewitness (1981). No nudity, just some minor
Pokies by Genevieve Bujold
and Victoria Principal
No nudity in Pressure (2002), just some minor pokies by Angela Featherstone.
Paris Blues was made in 1961 so there won't be any nudity. However, you
do see what Paul Newman saw in Joanne Woodward.
Ellen Barkin's nudity when she gets out of the hot tub in Wild Bill (1995) is
mostly hidden by her very long hair.
A bit of cleavage by Christina Applegate.
Bride and Prejudice
Bride and Prejudice (2004) is pure Bollywood, complete with all the singing
and dancing, and a happy romantic ending. So, there's no nudity but we see
enough of Aishwarya Rai to understand why she was crowned Miss World 1994.
Indira Varma looks good in a bikini.
Two if By Sea
Sandra Bullock is down to her underwear in Two if by Sea (1996).
Eurotrash is a long running British series which focuses on the ridiculous in
the rest of Europe. There is a lot of nudity by eccentric Europeans, such as the
family of naked fish mongers. You get the general idea.
Vika Zinchenko is a Ukranian model who claims to have the longest nipples in
Europe. We see them being measured. They are long, but I haven't done enough
research to know whether they are the longest.
High School High
The nudity in High School High comes from a stripper, not that we see
Tia Carrere shows a lot of cleavage.
Some nice pokies by Demi Moore in Ghost (1990).
The most interesting part of Taxi (2004) is Jennifer Esposito being felt up
by Gisele Bündchen. No nudity by any of the actresses but some nice caps of
and Ana Cristina De Oliveira.
Some pokies by Sazzy Lee Aiken in Faultline (2004)
and Olivia Adams looks good in a bikini.
No nudity in Bullitt (1968) but Jacqueline Bisset was in her prime.
Brief pokies by Pamela Ludwig in Tex (1982).
The actress has a sizable speaking part in Suspect Zero (2004) but I couldn't
identify her from the credits. We do get to see her breasts when she is