April Fool's Day is, of course, the one day of the year when I don't try to fool anyone.

The Spirit


Imagine if Disney decided to remake an Italian cannibal film for a PG audience. Now imagine that they decided to turn the whole thing into a spoof with some cartoon Nazi villains and deadpan high-camp dialogue. Now suppose they decided to add some genuine, heartfelt moments from time to time.

Can't really be done, can it? You can't do all of those things at once.

But comic book legend Frank Miller might try.

Writer/director Miller had no idea where to go with The Spirit, and it really suffers from his inability to choose a path and stay on it. He could have made it a gritty R-rated neo-noir like Sin City, which he wrote and kinda-sorta co-directed with Robert Rodriguez. He could have made it a silly kiddie movie like Batman and Robin, or an outright spoof like Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid. He could have made it a tonally faithful adaptation of the comic's presentation, ala Watchmen. He could have set it in the 1940s or the present day. He chose "none of the above." He chose to follow no path at all, but rather just to wander aimlessly. The result is disastrous.

Miller did create some dramatic and interesting comic book frames when he was picturing more abstract concepts like empty rooms and city streets, but he just didn't know what to do when he had human beings interacting on camera. Of course, the first thing you'll notice about the film is that it contains no REAL human beings (except for one minor character). It is populated by jokey stereotypes. The one-dimensional hero delivers mock heroic lines like "You're a common criminal, and I'm takin' ya in," and the one-dimensional evil floozy comes back with badinage like "There's nothing common about me, crimefighter." Change the word "crimefighter" to "caped crusader," and I'll bet you will picture Adam West and Julie Newmar. That's not the only thing in the film that evokes the Adam West Batman show. Head baddie Samuel L Jackson rants and postures just like Cesar Romero or Burgess Meredith used to do, and his henchmen even wear shirts with their names on them! Worst of all, the characters are allowed hammy close-ups and the camera often seems to be tilted at an awkward angle.

Where are the balloons which say "pow" and "bam"?

But this is not your father's Batman. Just to show that forty years have passed since Adam West's day, there is a little nudity, and a little outrageous gore. Hey let's have some edge.

But not too much edge, because the film was determined to get the PG-13 rating.

Well, you just can't have a little of everything. You can't be Adam West's Batman and Watchmen and Sin City. You have to point your ass in one direction and stick to it. If you don't, you're stuck with something hideous and mismatched, like a pimp driving an elevated Volvo station wagon with oversized spinning rims and racing stripes.

Or like The Spirit.


The distributors had to idea how to market it, since it was part kiddie movie, part gritty noir. They opted for the kiddie portion of the action and opened it on Christmas Day in 2500 theaters. It bombed miserably against the usual powerhouse Christmas line-up. It finished fifth among new releases, and even lost to four of the carry-overs.

If such a thing is possible, critics liked it even less than Christmas moviegoers. The score at Rotten Tomatoes was 14%.

Somehow, inexplicably, it did not receive any Razzie nominations! That kind of surprises me, given that it was a high profile disaster, which is the kind of movie the Razzies normally go for. It is every bit as bad, if not worse, than The Love Guru or The Happening, which received plenty of tough love from the Razzie team.


Anyway, does all that matter of Eva Mendes was naked?

Well, sorta.

If we saw this sort of nudity in a mixed-up Christmas Day PG-13 movie, imagine what might have been on screen if Miller had chosen the Sin City path and and stuck to it.

I'll have the high-def vids of Eva and others in tomorrow's edition. It is taking me time to figure out how to make these high def clips from unfamiliar sources. I was really hoping somebody else would do it, but I'll get it. In the meantime, enjoy the collage. (Boy am I rusty. I haven't made one in a long time.)



  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.






The Road to Wellville

Bridget Fonda film clip



Camryn Manheim film clip


Lara Flynn Boyle film clip



Traci Lind film clip








TV Land

Today is all about TV Land.

Anna Kournikova is one hot babe and we will probably never get to see her naked. Last week she visited "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon" and she just looked oh so sexy and with a pair of legs that don't quit. So enjoy these 1080 HD caps and the 720 HD version film clip of the whole segment. It's around a 200 MB download, but trust me it's worth it if you like Anna.







Notes and collages



Joey Lauren Adams









"Sexy Shorts"

episode: "The Investigation"

Carrie Janisse this time - film clips

 Samples below.








Season 2, Episode 9







The Day the Earth Stopped

In 2005, just as the blockbuster version of War of the Worlds was being released, a low-budget version starring C. Thomas Howell was also released. Turns out it was better than the Tom Cruise big-bucks version. In 2008, CT is at it again, starring in a low-budget rip-off of the new blockbuster release of the 1951 classic The Day the Earth Stood Still. I haven't seen the blockbuster yet, but I can tell you that CT probably didn't do it again....this one pretty much sucks.

A horde of huge robots called megaliths land in every city on Earth. Two naked aliens are found roaming the U.S., and when confronted (and tortured) by the authorities, they confess that the earth is to be destroyed because mankind has no redeeming qualities.

One of the soldiers (C. Thomas Howell) sets about to prove to the female alien Sky (Sinead McCafferty) that mankind does deserve to live. And the further it goes, the more corny and lame it gets.

No cigar this time, CT, because this one pretty much blows. Only Sinead's nice body redeems it somewhat....but not much.

Sinead McCafferty






Two babes from Forbidden Science, s1e1: Joanne Alderson and Vanessa Broze

Marie-Josee Croze in Ne Le Dis A Personne







Stark naked Pamela Anderson brings Hef a birthday surprise

Cecile de France in A Secret



Film Clips

Edwige Fenech film festival, part three. We haven't even made it out of the 1960s yet! Edwige is still in the 21-22 age range:

Fairuza Balk in American History X in ultra HD and slo-mo. Fairuza's career is kinda cold, eh? I guess she's in that daily canasta game with Mark Prior and Silverstone and that chick with three names who used to play the teenage witch.