Charlie's French Cinema Nudity Site is updated


Various Video Clips:

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (zipped .avis)

Saturn 3 (zipped .avi)


Other Crap:


Based on screening feedback, it seems that Christina Ricci will be topless in Black Snake Moan

"Cameron Diaz Courts Victory in Topless Pics Case "

The Office - more fake public service announcements

At least six men came to western North Carolina to have their genitals mutilated

  • Now THERE'S a tourist economy, but I would hesitate to call this a "package" tour.
  • As for you ladies - remember it's EASTERN North Carolina for your genital mutilation needs! Well, that or India.

Letterman: "Top Ten Things Overheard During George W. Bush's Trip To Cancun"

The Smoking Gun: NASA HQ Raided In Kiddie Porn Probe

"Hair" the musical returns with hints of Iraq war

  • I probably found this article more interesting than you will because the critic they quote, Rich Ouzounian, was my classmate at Fordham!

Colbert Report: Better Know a District: Michigan's 13th

Colbert Report: It's Women's History Month

  • "This omni-racial newswoman could easily be the result of a freaky 8-way at a Benetton photo shoot."

Colbert Report: Fuck!

  • Outrage is the only thing separating us from being Canadian.

Colbert does his "tip of the hat, wag of the finger"

Stephen Colbert asks Robert Greenwald who hates America more, him or Michael Moore.

Daily Show Headlines - Aliens Vs. Senators

  • Think about Elian Gonzalez, and how easy that was. Now, times that by 11 million.

The Daily Show continues its investigation - "What's the matter with Denmark?"

Daily Show: Stewart - Save the Date! You were right about the war. Won't your coffee shop/bookstore/poetry jamatorium friend be impressed?

  • How soon we forget. Actually, it is old news that the White House planned to go to war under any circumstances while telling the public that war could be avoided. Ari Fleischer got caught in this lie in his infamous February 28th, 2003 press conference, in which he admitted that Saddam could not stay in power even if he turned over every last pea shooter in the country. Fleischer claimed that the policy goal had always been disarmament PLUS regime change, which was news to the press corps.
  • If you stop and think about it a different way, the administration's posturings were actually a bit of military genius. They were leading Saddam to believe he could stay in power by destroying weapons. But they intended to invade all along, and they wanted him to destroy weapns in order to weaken Iraq's ability to respond. Saddam was just making Iraq's military defeat that much more certain by destroying his weapons! If you put a different spin on it, the administration could reasonably argue that their bold lies were strategic tactics which may have saved thousands of American lives in the invasion.
  • On the other hand, they could have saved even more by not invading at all, so history's judgment still boils down to whether the invasion was justified in the first place, irrespective of when the final decision to go to war was actually made.

A short film called Doppelganger

  • A dark thriller starring Timothy Olyphant and Rebecca Gayheart.
  • Some beautiful direction

Premiere Magazine: The 100 Greatest Movie Performances of All Time

  • Their #1: Lawrence of Arabia, Peter O'Toole, who did not win the best actor statuette that year. It went to Gregory Peck for To Kill a Mockingbird

GEORGE Clooney has a plan to destroy the Gawker stalker Web site.

This week's movies - update and apology from me. Slither - 87% positive reviews

  • Earlier this week, I mistakenly offered the speculation that Slither's high rating was a fluke resulting from a statistically insignificant number of reviews. I said it would probably go down. I was wrong. The critics LOVE this movie.

Personal device vibrates if you're boring or irritating

  • No problems so far, except Rosie O'Donnell had 360 orgasms yesterday.

Light-Up Bras

Prisoner pat-down misses loaded gun hidden in vagina

  • Hey, I think I slept with her once

Peter Dinklage has signed on to play Simon Bar Sinister in the live-action Underdog movie

"Howard Stern is angry more fans haven't followed him to satellite radio" (Well, to be fair, he's more mock-angry than angry.) Dance Team Bracket - FINALS

  • It's the Heat against the Kings. The Heat team has been blowing the competition away in the prelims. (They won one round 91-9!) The Kings have just barely eked out each win.

The twenty most unnecessary sequels of all time

RapidShare Videos: six clips from Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

The Art of Japanese Manhole Covers

"Shoeless Joe Jackson's home to be moved in Greenville"

  • No biggie. It's a small home. Shoeless guys don't need much closet space.

The Top Final Four Upsets of All-Time

  • Cheerleader Guy had this comment: "Yeah, you can debate number 1 and 2 all day long (Villanova over G'Town or NC State over Houston), but Maryland over Kansas on this list??? I was at this Final Four and this was not a huge upset by any means. Maryland ran through the ACC and I believe was ranked number 1 for part of the season."

From the "Jesus on toast" department. Muslims flock to see miracle fish

WHITE HOUSE OUSTS PASTRY CHEF; SHAKEUP COMPLETE ... "We Have Fixed the Problems," Says Delighted President

"Snakes on a Plane" is going to kick some serious ass. Just look at what one snake in a car can do!

A few I have not seen before from Julian Beever, the guy who creates Virtual Street Reality with chalk drawings.

Dan Castellaneta and Harry Shearer do their Simpsons characters on Conan's late night show.

"A documentary TV series chronicling Barry Bonds' upcoming 2006 baseball season will take an honest look at the steroid scandal surrounding the slugger, but his lawyers can review the episodes before they air, the producer said on Thursday."

Pale Force: superheroes played by Conan O'Brien and Jim Gaffigan

"soap opera veteran Helen Wagner has earned a place in the Guinness World Records by playing one role for 50 years."

Colbert discusses polygamy - the more the "merrier"

Colbert discusses the upcoming Apocalypse


Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.




Sex is Zero (2002)

Sex Is Zero is a sexy South Korean youth comedy in the tradition of American Pie, Animal House and Porkies, and is the biggest grossing comedy of all time In Korea. The central story is actually a love triangle in which the campus male hottie competes against an older and somewhat nerdish law student, who got his military service out of the way before college, for the attention of a drop dead gorgeous female athlete specializing in Aerobics. The film is full of gross-out jokes, male masturbation scenes and drinking but, in a departure from genre norms in the US, it is mostly the women who are horny and sex-obsessed. The nude scenes will give you an idea.

In the first nude scene, Jae-yeong Jin shows breasts and buns in a sex scene. After a party in a karaoke bar, the kids pair off, and three couples end up in sex hotels. One guy talks Si-hu Yun into going to the hotel by saying that he will only hold her hand. She passes out, and she wakes up to him fondling her bare breasts. Another girl gets upset when her boyfriend tries fondling her crotch. He ends up settling for a hand job that takes forever. The most comical of the three has a sexually aggressive Yi Shin seducing a very effeminate young man. When he fumbles too long unhooking her top, she does it for him, revealing band aids on her nipples. She then tears them off, and pulls his mouth to her nipple. After many minutes, she pulls his head away, complaining that she is going to get calluses. we then see him in position to do the deed, and she tells him to get at it. He thrusts mightily, burying himself to the hilt in her ass. She yelps in pain, and rolls over clutching her burning bottom. The next day, the girls are sitting at the school pool. The hand job girl still has a sore arm, and Yi Shin sits very tenderly.

There has been some cross-cultural debate generated by the third act, in which the lead actress, beautiful Ji-won Ha, ends up pregnant, has an abortion, and then ends up in the hospital due to bleeding. The controversy derives from the fact that while she is hospitalized her mother beats her for disgracing the family. Korean audiences found this amusing, while Western audiences don't know how to cope with it. This is a good example of how cultural differences keep some humor from translating well.

The film is pristine on the DVD due for release next week, and includes good sub-titles, as well as a feature length commentary including Mr. Skin, and the head of Panik House Entertainment, who is an expert on Asian cinema. Panik House brought us the Pinky Violence Collection, and has done another great job here. The DVD is full of extras, including deleted scenes, out-takes, interviews and more.

IMDb readers say 6.5. Normally, I would have to lower the score because of the subtitles, but this is an outstanding genre effort. Even if you don't like subtitles but do like youthploitation gross-out comedies, you will more than likely enjoy this one. High C+


Jae-yeong Jin
Si-Hu Yun
Yi Shin

Anna, quel particolare piacere (1973)

Anna is an Italian drama starring Edwige Fenech. It was given the completely stupid title of "Secrets of a Call Girl" in its US release, to make it seem like exploitation. The title literally translates, "Anna, that very special pleasure," but the connotation is more like "Anna what pleasure, what torment." Thanks to my British photographer friend who lives in Rome and works as a translator, Sarah, for an assist with the translation.

Edwige is an innocent, working as cashier in a small store Bergamo, when Corrado Pani, laying low after his crime boss is killed and he must fit into the organization of Don Barzini (Richard Conti), seduces her. She soon has everything she wants, but finds that there is a high price to pay for this luxury, as her lover returns to Milan, and starts pimping her around. Her life is half tenderness and riches, and half bitch slap and pain. Then she turns up pregnant, and stands up to him, wanting to keep her baby. When he goes to jail, it looks like she might find happiness with the handsome doctor who treats her son. However, this is a tragedy, so, if you have managed to develop any sentiment for Fenech, you will hate the ending.

Fenech was hoping this film would establish her as a serious actress, but I can't imagine that it helped, although time would prove that she was more than a great pair of breasts. Speaking of which, she showed them several times in this film, as did an unidentified stripper.

IMDb readers say 6.1, and with only 17 votes. Obviously intended to capitalize on the popularity of The Godfather, this film is nothing special, although it is a strong female role, which is not all that common in film. The film suffers from pacing in act two, where huge jumps of time are shown with jump cuts. Some transition montages would have really helped. Even so, the best you could have gotten was an overly dramatic chick flick. This is a C-.

Edwige Fenech






It's a double feature day.

First up Marta Nieto in "Face of Terror." She shows off a delicious pair of hooters.

Then Diane Kruger in "The Target," showing a little flash of tit and a very nice bum before she becomes a "Babe in Bondage".







Barbara Bouchet  was kinda-sorta a Bond girl, if you count the silly Casino Royale as a Bond film. One thing not subject to debate: she got naked in a lot of films, about two dozen. Here she is seen in The Red Queen Kills Seven Times (1972) and In Harm's Way (1965). The leftmost four are from Red Queen, while the one on the right is from In Harm's Way



Pat's comments in yellow

Thursday in Manhattan, supermodel Naomi Campbell was charged with assaulting her assistant, who had to go to the hospital and get stitches in her head.  Police say Campbell accused the woman of stealing her clothes when she couldn't find some jeans she wanted to wear on "Oprah," and hurled a cell phone at her. Campbell's agent called the charges "retaliation"
because Campbell had fired the woman that morning.  The D.A. requested she surrender her passport and put up $3,500 bail.  Her attorney called that "an insult," saying she lives in a $3 million apartment, earns more
than six figures, and needs her passport to go to South Africa next week to visit Nelson Mandela.

*  Okay, make it a million dollars bail.

*  Besides, everyone knows that bouncing a cell phone off your head is HOW Naomi Campbell fires you.

If you want to go into space, be careful what plastic surgery you have.  Virgin tycoon Richard Branson plans to book private shuttle flights into orbit in 2008 for $200,000 a passenger, but the company has discovered there could "be issues with breast augmentation."  They may have to ban women with boob jobs because due to cabin pressure, their breast implants could expand until they explode.

*  And in space, no one can hear you pop.

*  That would look really cool, up until the exploding part.

*  Pamela Anderson could be a space-based weapon of mass destruction!