Charlie's French Cinema Nudity Site is updated
Various Video Clips:
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (zipped .avis)
Saturn 3 (zipped .avi)
Based on screening feedback, it seems that Christina Ricci will be topless in
Black Snake Moan
"Cameron Diaz Courts Victory in Topless Pics Case "
The Office - more fake public service announcements
At least six men came to western North Carolina to have
their genitals mutilated
- Now THERE'S a tourist economy, but I would hesitate
to call this a "package" tour.
- As for you ladies - remember it's EASTERN North
Carolina for your genital mutilation needs! Well, that or India.
"Top Ten Things Overheard During George W. Bush's Trip To
The Smoking Gun:
NASA HQ Raided In Kiddie Porn Probe
"Hair" the musical returns with hints of Iraq war
- I probably found this article more interesting than
you will because the critic they quote, Rich Ouzounian, was my classmate at
Colbert Report: Better Know a District: Michigan's 13th
Colbert Report: It's Women's History Month
- "This omni-racial newswoman could easily be the
result of a freaky 8-way at a Benetton photo shoot."
Colbert Report: Fuck!
- Outrage is the only thing separating us from being
Colbert does his "tip of the hat, wag of the finger"
Stephen Colbert asks Robert Greenwald who hates America
more, him or Michael Moore.
Daily Show Headlines - Aliens Vs. Senators
- Think about Elian Gonzalez, and how easy that was.
Now, times that by 11 million.
The Daily Show continues its investigation - "What's the
matter with Denmark?"
Daily Show: Stewart - Save the Date! You were right about
the war. Won't your coffee shop/bookstore/poetry jamatorium friend be impressed?
- How soon we forget. Actually, it is old news that the
White House planned to go to war under any circumstances while telling the
public that war could be avoided.
Ari Fleischer got caught in this lie
in his infamous February 28th, 2003 press conference, in which he admitted
that Saddam could not stay in power even if he turned over every last pea
shooter in the country. Fleischer claimed that the policy goal had always been
disarmament PLUS regime change, which was news to the press corps.
- If you stop and think about it a different way, the
administration's posturings were actually a bit of military genius. They were
leading Saddam to believe he could stay in power by destroying weapons. But
they intended to invade all along, and they wanted him to destroy weapns in
order to weaken Iraq's ability to respond. Saddam was just making Iraq's
military defeat that much more certain by destroying his weapons! If you put a
different spin on it, the administration could reasonably argue that their
bold lies were strategic tactics which may have saved thousands of American
lives in the invasion.
- On the other hand, they could have saved even more by
not invading at all, so history's judgment still boils down to whether the
invasion was justified in the first place, irrespective of when the final
decision to go to war was actually made.
A short film called Doppelganger
- A dark thriller starring Timothy Olyphant and Rebecca
- Some beautiful direction
Premiere Magazine: The 100 Greatest Movie Performances of
- Their #1: Lawrence of Arabia, Peter O'Toole, who did
not win the best actor statuette that year. It went to Gregory Peck for To
Kill a Mockingbird
GEORGE Clooney has a plan to destroy the Gawker stalker Web
This week's movies - update and apology from me.
Slither - 87% positive reviews
- Earlier this week, I mistakenly offered the
speculation that Slither's high rating was a fluke resulting from a
statistically insignificant number of reviews. I said it would probably go
down. I was wrong. The critics LOVE this movie.
Personal device vibrates if you're boring or irritating
- No problems so far, except Rosie O'Donnell had 360
Prisoner pat-down misses loaded gun hidden in vagina
- Hey, I think I slept with her once
Peter Dinklage has signed on to play Simon Bar Sinister in
the live-action Underdog movie
"Howard Stern is angry more fans haven't followed him to
satellite radio" (Well, to be fair, he's more
mock-angry than angry.)
NBA.com Dance Team Bracket - FINALS
- It's the Heat against the Kings. The Heat team has
been blowing the competition away in the prelims. (They won one round 91-9!)
The Kings have just barely eked out each win.
The twenty most unnecessary sequels of all time
RapidShare Videos: six clips from Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
The Art of Japanese Manhole Covers
"Shoeless Joe Jackson's home to be moved in Greenville"
- No biggie. It's a small home. Shoeless guys don't
need much closet space.
The Top Final Four Upsets of All-Time
- Cheerleader Guy had this comment: "Yeah, you can
debate number 1 and 2 all day long (Villanova over G'Town or NC State over
Houston), but Maryland over Kansas on this list??? I was at this Final Four
and this was not a huge upset by any means. Maryland ran through the ACC and I
believe was ranked number 1 for part of the season."
From the "Jesus on toast" department.
Muslims flock to see miracle fish
WHITE HOUSE OUSTS PASTRY CHEF; SHAKEUP COMPLETE
... "We Have Fixed the Problems," Says Delighted President
"Snakes on a Plane" is going to kick some serious ass. Just
look at what one snake in a car can do!
A few I have not seen before from
Julian Beever, the guy who creates Virtual Street Reality
with chalk drawings.
Dan Castellaneta and Harry Shearer do their Simpsons
characters on Conan's late night show.
"A documentary TV series chronicling Barry Bonds' upcoming
2006 baseball season will take an honest look at the steroid scandal surrounding
the slugger, but his lawyers can review the episodes before they air, the
producer said on Thursday."
Force: superheroes played by Conan O'Brien and Jim Gaffigan
"soap opera veteran Helen Wagner has earned a place in the Guinness World
Records by playing one role for 50 years."
Colbert discusses polygamy - the more the "merrier"
Colbert discusses the upcoming Apocalypse
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
Sex is Zero (2002)
Sex Is Zero is a sexy South Korean youth comedy in the tradition of
American Pie, Animal House and Porkies, and is the biggest grossing comedy of
all time In Korea. The central story is actually a love triangle in which the
campus male hottie competes against an older and somewhat nerdish law student,
who got his military service out of the way before college, for the attention
of a drop dead gorgeous female athlete specializing in Aerobics. The film is
full of gross-out jokes, male masturbation scenes and drinking but, in a
departure from genre norms in the US, it is mostly the women who are horny
and sex-obsessed. The nude scenes will give you an idea.
In the first nude scene, Jae-yeong Jin shows breasts and buns in a sex
scene. After a party in a karaoke bar, the kids pair off, and three couples
end up in sex hotels. One guy talks Si-hu Yun into going to the hotel by
saying that he will only hold her hand. She passes out, and she wakes up to
him fondling her bare breasts. Another girl gets upset when her boyfriend
tries fondling her crotch. He ends up settling for a hand job that takes
forever. The most comical of the three has a sexually aggressive Yi Shin
seducing a very effeminate young man. When he fumbles too long unhooking her
top, she does it for him, revealing band aids on her nipples. She then tears
them off, and pulls his mouth to her nipple. After many minutes, she pulls his
head away, complaining that she is going to get calluses. we then see him in
position to do the deed, and she tells him to get at it. He thrusts mightily,
burying himself to the hilt in her ass. She yelps in pain, and rolls over
clutching her burning bottom. The next day, the girls are sitting at the school pool. The hand job girl
still has a sore arm, and Yi Shin sits very tenderly.
There has been some
cross-cultural debate generated by the third act, in which the lead actress, beautiful Ji-won Ha,
ends up pregnant, has an abortion, and then ends up in the hospital due to
bleeding. The controversy derives from the fact that while she is hospitalized
her mother beats her for disgracing the family. Korean audiences
found this amusing, while Western audiences don't know how to cope with it.
This is a good example of how cultural differences keep some humor from
The film is pristine on the DVD due for release next week, and includes
good sub-titles, as well as a feature length commentary including Mr. Skin,
and the head of Panik House Entertainment, who is an expert on Asian cinema.
Panik House brought us the Pinky Violence Collection, and has done another
great job here. The DVD is full of extras, including deleted scenes,
out-takes, interviews and more.
IMDb readers say 6.5. Normally, I would have to lower the score because of
the subtitles, but this is an outstanding genre effort. Even if you don't like
subtitles but do like youthploitation gross-out comedies, you will more than likely enjoy this
one. High C+
Anna, quel particolare piacere (1973)
Anna is an Italian drama starring Edwige Fenech. It was given the
completely stupid title of "Secrets of a Call Girl" in its US release, to make
it seem like exploitation. The title literally translates, "Anna, that very
special pleasure," but the connotation is more like "Anna what pleasure, what
torment." Thanks to my British photographer friend who lives in Rome and works
as a translator, Sarah, for an assist with the translation.
Edwige is an innocent, working as cashier in a small store Bergamo, when
Corrado Pani, laying low after his crime boss is killed and he must fit into
the organization of Don Barzini (Richard Conti), seduces her. She soon has
everything she wants, but finds that there is a high price to pay for this
luxury, as her lover returns to Milan, and starts pimping her around. Her life
is half tenderness and riches, and half bitch slap and pain. Then she turns up
pregnant, and stands up to him, wanting to keep her baby. When he goes to
jail, it looks like she might find happiness with the handsome doctor who
treats her son. However, this is a tragedy, so, if you have managed to develop
any sentiment for Fenech, you will hate the ending.
Fenech was hoping this film would establish her as a serious actress, but I
can't imagine that it helped, although time would prove that she was more than
a great pair of breasts. Speaking of which, she showed them several times in
this film, as did an unidentified stripper.
IMDb readers say 6.1, and with only 17 votes. Obviously intended to
capitalize on the popularity of The Godfather, this film is nothing special,
although it is a strong female role, which is not all that common in film. The
film suffers from pacing in act two, where huge jumps of time are shown with
jump cuts. Some transition montages would have really helped. Even so, the
best you could have gotten was an overly dramatic chick flick. This is a C-.
Pat's comments in yellow
Thursday in Manhattan, supermodel Naomi Campbell was
charged with assaulting her assistant, who had to go to the hospital and get
stitches in her head. Police say Campbell accused the woman of stealing her
clothes when she couldn't find some jeans she wanted to wear on "Oprah," and
hurled a cell phone at her. Campbell's agent called the charges "retaliation"
because Campbell had fired the woman that morning. The D.A. requested she
surrender her passport and put up $3,500 bail. Her attorney called that "an
insult," saying she lives in a $3 million apartment, earns more
than six figures, and needs her passport to go to South Africa next week to
visit Nelson Mandela.
* Okay, make it a million dollars bail.
* Besides, everyone knows that bouncing a cell phone off your head is HOW Naomi
Campbell fires you.
If you want to go into space, be careful what plastic surgery you have. Virgin
tycoon Richard Branson plans to book private shuttle flights into orbit in 2008
for $200,000 a passenger, but the company has discovered there could "be issues
with breast augmentation." They may have to ban women with boob jobs because
due to cabin pressure, their breast implants could expand until they explode.
* And in space, no one can hear you pop.
* That would look really cool, up until the exploding part.
* Pamela Anderson could be a space-based weapon of mass destruction!