Discoveries (1999) is the last from the Skinemax series Intimate Strangers. This time Kim Yates is closing the bar, when Julia Kruis and her husband come in for an anniversary drink. Seems they met in that bar, and have been together for ten years. Yates serves them, and they tell her about their open relationship, which the credit for their happy marriage. First, they relate the hot sex when they first met, then an episode with Kruis and a fashion model/bell boy, then Yates tells about the night she was stripping for someone after the bar was closed, and discovered that someone was watching through the window/

The couple then describes a recent three-way they did with a high priced call girl, played by Kimberly Woods. Woods and Kruis show everything, and Yates shows breasts and buns, keeping her thong on. Same story as before, mediocre sex scenes shot in decent light, and so C-. The one thing I will say for this series is that they used a real variety in the cast.

Young Adam (2003):

Young Adam is a film which is just about to open in a very limited arthouse run in North America. You know those commercials that say "coming soon to a theater near you"? Well, this movie isn't coming to a theater near you unless you live in Greenwich Village.

It played in England last year, and hit the British streets on DVD already on Monday. The British critics went ga-ga over this arty, sexy Scottish Noir film set on a coal barge in 1957. Sounds cheerful doesn't it? The protagonist is an antihero, but not in the sense that Rick is an antihero in Casablanca. This guy is pretty much of a complete scumbag, a cowardly drifter with no sense of right and wrong.

• He betrays his employer by sleeping with his wife.
• Then when the wife becomes his new employer, he betrays her by sleeping with her sister.
• When a kind man takes him in, he promptly takes the man's wife to bed as soon as the man heads off to work his night shift.
• He makes no effort to save his pregnant girlfriend from drowning when she falls in the river
• Then then he sits idly by and watches some poor schmuck get tried for his girlfriend's murder.

He aspires to become a writer, but eventually realizes that he is made to live out a life, not to describe one, so his typewriter meets an appropriate fate.

Although the drifter is not a sympathetic lead character, this film manages to create a balanced look at him and the blue collar lives he affects in Scotland. The tone is not really tragic. There is neither pathos nor bathos, but simply sadness. The background score is minimally intrusive, and the background noises are virtually absent. There are long periods of virtual silence, as you might expect in the films of Bergman or Tarkovsky. It was an effective move to cast boyish, soft-spoken, handsome Ewan McGregor as the drifter. He gives off an aura of decency that lent some balance to the portrayal, and deepened the sadness because he seemed to be a man who could have achieved far more, could have been better, but always seemed lost. In the final analysis, I felt sympathy for the drifter because he was not a bad person, just a person who wanted to be good but didn't know how, and who wanted happiness as much as any of us, but found it elusive. As did the other doomed characters around him. As do so many people.

I like the movie, but it's genuinely an art film for the Bergman crowd, and definitely not a multiplex crowd pleaser. The one thing that gives it a bit of crossover appeal is that the film is not structured as a drama, but as a murder mystery (even though it turns out that nobody is actually murdered). That genre film structure gives the film a "grip" on the audience that a heavy-handed drama might not normally be able to establish.

There is a substantial amount of sex and nudity. One sex scene is particularly wild. McGregor loses his temper with girlfriend Emily Mortimer when she works a hard day and complains that the only thing he did all day was to make some custard. So he covers her with the custard and some ketchup and other food items, then he canes her behind, and finally takes her from the rear. Pretty steamy stuff.

In addition to the scenes below, Ewan McGregor also whips out his light saber, as is his wont. I understand that his sausage has been expunged from the North American release. (Yeah, like anyone is ever going to see this movie!)

• Tilda Swinton (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
• Emily Mortimer (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
• Pauline Turner (1, 2, 3, 4)

Mailbox:

OTHER CRAP:

• Google to offer 1 gig of free e-mail.
• Six more new clips from Hellboy -
• Six potty Brits trapped in a Mexican cave kept their peckers up by snapping themselves doing a Full Monty.
• TGSNT :: Finalists "Shopping at the BigMart"
• Looks like HBO's Deadwood will be alive and kickin' for another season
• A weird one from The Daily Show: the words of backwoodsy doofus James "Jethro" Carville VS condescending tutti-frutti twit Tucker "Andy Dick" Carlson - as read by little kids!
• The Daily Show's Lewis Black editorializes on the fundamental right of all Americans to talk about Cleveland Steamers on the air.
• Comedy Central on The Republican Attack Machine.
• Jon Stewart weighs in on the Tyco trial
• "Star" Mag Goes Glossy, Takes Aim at "People"
• Missing Wisconsin-Madison college student found.
• Yankees open a can of whoop-ass on the Rays Brown dominates, Posada knocks in six. Matsui homers in his home arena.
• Using a new technique astronomers have found 10 apparent black holes near the center of the Andromeda galaxy, thus breaking the record formerly held by the Jackson family.
• URL says it all: toss-my-salad.com
• Whitehouse Claims Dick Clarke Upset Over Denied Position: "he wanted more than anything to be named Secretary of American Bandstand. And when that didn't happen, he just began seething and plotting revenge"
• Looking for a unique spot for your next vacation? Try Faizabad. : "The round trip is $300, although no return flights are currently scheduled. If you are desperate to return, keep $900 handy in cash."
• You're a man on the go. You love racing, but are bored by horses and greyhounds. Make the move to Gerbil racing. (Insert Richard Gere joke here)
• Bob Cremins, a Boston Red Sox pitcher who faced Babe Ruth in his first big league appearance, died at 98.
• Kirstie Alley is in final negotiations to play Ricki Lake's mother in an untitled CBS comedy pilot. Will it be a TV series version of Free Willy? The question is, can CBS afford to cater the set?
• President Bush has hit upon a cunning plan to shield the White House from terrorist attacks. He wants to paint it solid black! (Weekly World News)
• An illustration of STFU.
• Senator Says Howard Stern Still Indecent
• Art James, talk show host and announcer, dies at 74. The non-intrusive James was one of the most dignified and capable game show hosts.
• NASA's Visible Earth. Great site.
• It's never too early to tag Oscar hopefuls for 2004. Here is the early handicapping.
• Aristide launches kidnap lawsuit against France, will sue USA next.
• Pee-Wee Herman discusses his legal woes.
• Eastwood announces his new project. Hillary Swank plays a female boxer.
• Spielberg and Carrey will not do the Walter Mitty movie.
• Chronicles of Riddick not as lame as it seems!
• Jack Black and Naomi Watts to star in "King Kong". They will play the Robert Amstrong and Fay Wray roles, respectively.
• Two clips from the family film, Ella Enchanted. Target market is female, young teen and pre-teen.
• Five clips from Connie and Carla , a Nia Vardalos (Big Fat Greek Wedding) script about two dinner theater actresses fleeing the mob.
• Future search efforts will make Google look like 8-tracks.
• Paul Hornung was a great football player, so flexible he could actually put his foot in his mouth. Hornung says: Notre Dame should lower academic standards to `get the black athlete'. And then they should drop that whole Catholicism thing to get the Asian scholar.
• This is funny, David Letterman versus the White House. On Monday, Letterman showed a clip of a kid yawning, fidgeting, and looking at his watch while standing behind the President during a fund-raising speech. The White House responded first that the kid was edited into the speech, then later said that maybe the kid was there, but surely not standing where he was depicted in the tape. On Tuesday, Letterman points out that both of those replies were, plain and simple, "100% lies". Both Letterman clips can be found at this link. What's scary is
  • (1) that the White House would bother with such silly crap at all instead of chuckling and moving on. Of course kids think George Bush and John Kerry are a couple of boring twits. I think we know that all kids everywhere are entranced by the sheer mesmerism of Ralph Nader.
  • (2) that the White House would not only care, but would tell such blatant lies without even checking the facts first. Force of habit, I guess. This point, of course, assumes that Letterman is not kidding.
• FLIP-FLOPPING MAY HAVE INJURED KERRY'S SHOULDER. Doctor advises Senator Kerry not to change any of his positions for two weeks.
• The passing of an era. Siegfried & Roy Marquee finally comes down
• Deep Purple awakens Beijing to the sonic pleasures of heavy metal
• The next Britney Spears? - Some say it is beautiful, blonde Brooke Hogan, who reportedly has a lucrative new record deal. Take a guess who her father is.
• A classic unproduced screenplay: THE TONY CLIFTON STORY, by Andy Kaufman and Bob Zmuda
• Film Threat finds and reviews the shooting script for "The Day the Clown Cried". This is Jerry Lewis's film about, of all things, a concentration camp clown whose job it is to lead children into the ovens. "164 pages of misguided, disturbing, egomaniacal and just plain fucked-up material that would have the crowd at Nuremberg scratching their heads in utter disbelief. Not only is it horribly written and lacking in any humor (the script specifically notes when things should be "played for laughs"), but after about the first fifty pages what starts out as merely a bad screenplay degenerates into a deranged, unconscionable disaster that almost makes you feel guilty for reading it... almost. "
• Here's Spy Magazine's famous article about this film: JERRY LEWIS GOES TO DEATH CAMP
• Read it for yourself: THE DAY THE CLOWN CRIED (1972) - the final shooting script
• Read it for yourself: THE DAY THE CLOWN CRIED (1972) - first draft
• 80s music quiz - we hear the playback and it seems so long ago
• Driver Derrike Cope showed up with a new outdoor gear sponsor, 'RedneckJunk.com.' NASCAR nixed the sponsor because it did not project the proper image. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think he'll be offered replacement money by Salon Premium, The NY Philharmonic, or Barnes and Noble.
• Women sue Hooters over secret tapes: "Five women who say they were secretly videotaped naked or undressing while they applied for jobs at a Los Angeles area Hooters sued the restaurant chain Tuesday."
• People do pick pets that resemble them. That explains Dick Cheney's weasel, but I think Richard Gere's hamster was chosen for other reasons.
• NCAA losing lucrative shoe deals. This may sound trivial to you, but massive shoe deals allowed small colleges like Xavier to pay competitive wages to top-line coaches, and thus balanced competition.
• BATMAN BEGINS - the Batmobile. Looks like the ol' Bat spends a lot of time at Monster Truck rallies.
• The San Francisco Giants will provide free wireless internet access at the ballpark.
• Ice Cream Vendors in Turf War Tussle: Two ice cream vendors were charged with attempted murder for an alleged pipe attack on two of their competitors. I know if my name were Mr Softee, I wouldn't want to fuck with these guys, Cold Power and Frozen Mayhem.
• Chicago, L.A. towers were next targets.: "Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, al Qaeda's purported operations chief, has told U.S. interrogators that the group had been planning attacks on the Library Tower in Los Angeles and the Sears Tower in Chicago on the heels of the September 11, 2001, terror strikes. Those plans were aborted mainly because of the decisive U.S. response to the New York and Washington attacks, which disrupted the terrorist organization's plans so thoroughly that it could not proceed"
• FHM looks at Jennie Berntson
• Dis recipe is da bomb. No, really. Southern Living recalls explosive recipe. Urgent "alerts" have been issued by the widely respected magazine pleading with people not to use the recipe for "Icebox Rolls" on page 154 of the April issue, citing possible fire and safety hazards, including ignition of the mixture.
• Make Mark's Movie. "I directed my first feature film Futile Attraction and have been editing it ever since. I am currently raising the funds needed for remaining post-production via my website where people can make online contributions for the film and get their name in the credits. This groundbreaking initiative is getting an amazing response from around the world with contributions, offers of help and thousands of hits from over 30 countries."
• The new Batmobile
• Play MiniPool the Tactical and Skill based Pool Game by 2DPlay.com
• Sex stimulates the brain and makes people more intelligent, according to a top German researcher. He is still trying to explain Jessica Simpson.
• McCartney Gives Surprise Show in Tahoe
• Harvard study shows that music sharing doesn't kill CD sales, and may even have a positive effect.
• Bushisms archived and analyzed. Here's one I had not seen before: ""I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose (to Saddam): you disarm, or we will."
• Google Publishes Print Edition in 37,000 volumes.
• Studios already jostling for the next Oscars.
• Reason to Run? Nader Argues He Has Plenty. Nader contends that he is neither an egomaniac nor a nut, but simply a douchebag.
• FreakingNews.com Photoshop Contest: "Show the reasons why Tom Cruise and Penelope Cruz split, OR show HOW they split, OR show what romanic encounters await them in the future
• Michael Jackson named most foolish American of 2004! The strongest contender was his own sister, Janet. Other top finishers: (3) Martha Stewart (4) The Mouseketeer

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

Miscellaneous

• Sheryl Lee in Bliss. Clip three is the winner. The .avi includes all scenes.  (.avi version,  .wmv version (1, 2, 3, 4)).

• Funny stuff. Amanda Swisten in American Wedding.  (.avi version,  .wmv version).

Lassiter

Mediocre movie - watchable, but shallow, like a decent episode of a good TV drama. Very pleasant nudity, however, from gorgeous, famous chicks.

• Belinda Mayne.  (.avi version,  .wmv version).

• Lauren Hutton.  (.avi version,  .wmv version).

• Jane Seymour.  (.avi version,  .wmv version).

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

• Kari Wuhrer bares all 3 B's and Rae Dawn Chong goes topless in scenes from the 1994 movie "Boulevard".

Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

Nothing much to comment about or upon. Julie Benz and Claire Stansfield in the oft-capped "Dark Drive" (1996). Couldn't resist.

• Julie Benz bares breasts and bum. (1, 2, 3, 4)
• Claire Stansfield, in a black bra.

Teri Hatcher
(1, 2, 3)

Scoops,
These pictures are by model turned photographer Ellen von Unwerth. Her house style is the grainy BW shot although she’s perfectly capable of producing more ‘posed’ looking photography. Fortunately she seems to specialise in nekkid chicks, which makes her my kind of gal.

Today we have:

• Carolyn Murphy, topless
• The ever naked Bijou Phillips
• A couple of fully frontally nude unknown models supposedly on a road outside New Orleans (though I didn’t spot anyone dressed like that when I was last there – at least not outside Bourbon Street!).

TROUBLES FOR TRUMP
Why Would Anyone Fire A Bird? - Donald Trump's attempt to trademark the phrase "You're Fired" has run into a roadblock: Chicago pottery merchant Susan Brenner. She has been emblazoning the phrase on kiln-fired ceramic plates, mugs and birdhouses since 1997. Her attorney sent Trump a letter warning that if he tries to sell any "You're Fired" merchandise in Illinois or surrounding states, he'll be in violation of her trademark.