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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
New to DVD

I looked at Die Screaming Marianne. Don't be tempted to do as I did, to rent this crap because of the r-rating and Susan George of Straw Dogs. Neither Susan nor anyone else gets naked, and the movie stinks, an unmysterious mystery and a horror-free horror film with laughable effects and choppy editing which causes an incomprehensible plot to become even more garbled.



I looked at Groundhog Day. I regret to say that I can only score the movie 99/100, because Andie Macdowell kept her clothes on. With Andie naked, I wouldn't object if you called it the greatest comedy ever made, or even the single greatest achievement in the history of humanity, edging out the Pieta, the invention of fire, and the Ronco Pocket Fisherman. Rated in the Top 250 by IMDb, you guys rated it the number two comedy of the 90's. (It would have been #3, except we put South Park in a separate category). All honors well deserved.

A tip of the derby to our British cousins.

BAFTA, the British academy awards, does NOT have Oscar disease. This disease has the following symptoms

  • Inability to identify a good movie if it is a comedy.
  • Complete inability to equate humor with quality. Thus, the Oscar nominations can occasionally go to comedies, but only if they are not funny. If a comedy is funny, it is disqualified. (Annie Hall was an exception, and is actually not one of Woody's funnier movies). The only time a comedy can be nominated if it is not funny. These films may still be comedic in the Aristotelean sense, but not in my sense. And Aristotle doesn't have a web page. And if he did, you wouldn't expect a lot of chuckles.

The British do not have the same problem. They know the value of humor, and how difficult it is to be funny. They gave the award for Best Original Screenplay to Groundhog Day instead of the oh-so-serious The Piano. Predictably, the American academy didn't even nominate Groundhog Day. Silly buggers.

  • Andie Macdowell (fully dressed, but so-o-o cute. Portrait only, because she has an interesting face. I've always found it interesting that she was a model, because she doesn't photograph as well in still photos as she does in motion pictures. Of course "not as well", by her standards, is still va-va-voom for a normal person.) (1, 2)


I looked at Gummo. Unrelievedly ugly film that reminded me a bit of Todd Browning's famous "Freaks" ("One of us.... one of us ...."). You know that banjo kid in Deliverance? The people in this movie won't hang out with him because he's too sophisticated and looks too much like a movie star. Powerful in spots, but apparently pointless, and consistently sophomoric.

Two women did get topless, however:

By the way, Chloe is also credited as the costume designer for this film. (Not as impressive as it sounds! This ain't exactly "Braveheart" or "Wings of the Dove")



Kasia Figura is one of the more famous Polish actresses, speaks pretty good English, and has acted internationally. (Robert Altman used her in The Player and Pret-a-Porter. She flashed her ample buns under panty hose in Pret-a-Porter) You might think of her as the Polish Sophie Marceau. Like Sophie, she began as a young adolescent, around 13 or so, and now has a quarter of a century in the business, although she is still in her thirties. Like Sophie, she is always good for some flesh.

Their bodies, however, are not comparable. Sophie has that exotic face and slim figure. Kasia doesn't have a great face or slim legs, and she doesn't seem to be Sophie's equal as a thespian, but she does have a mammoth natural chest, which is on display most extravagantly in the collages from " ... czesu", which may be the best TV captures TomCat has don, almost DVD quality. We're fortunate that his reception was good that day, because Kasia'c chest deserves a good look.

Busy, busy; this work stuff is getting seriously in the way of my hobby! But with a little time to scan these past couple of days, I present to you and the boys.... a bunch of Pets.

First the big three. Not a B movie made in the 80's and 90's without one of these in them. We start with the queen, the empress, the goddess, Michelle Bauer. Only one of these, the last one, is of Michelle in her robo-hootered, mature look. The others show her in her early twenties, cute as the dickens, sexy as hell and aware of it.

  • Michelle (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Then we have Monique Gabrielle, second only to Michelle in time spent with hooters out in the open for everyone to see. Again, the formula is of early pics, showing Monique at her slimmest and most revealing, followed by a more recent scan by Graphic Response, with a more weighty and heavily endowed Gabrielle.

  • Monique (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    One scan of Julie Strain completes the mighty triumvirate. Have seen one pic of Julie without the robohooters and she looked just fine, if'n you ask me. But then no one did.

  • Julie

  • RDO
    The latest installment from 1973's "Female Vampire". Today they're all images of Lina Romay.

    Here's the breakdown:

  • Assorted frontal, rear, and gyno nudity (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Topless close-up
  • Gyno Cam close-up
  • Lina having sex with bed post (1, 2, 3)
  • Lina having sex with big pillow (1, 2, 3)

  • Rawhide Kid
    Estella Warren leads off today's selection of the SI Babes. This one is definitely a looksee if you're a breastman (and who among us isn't???).

    The second Estella shows us her long legs (Get me a measuring tape!!!).

  • Estella (1, 2)

    Three Heidi Klum shots round out today's showcase. In the first one, I can only say I wish I was that monkey!! (Jr many times will you ever hear someone say that!)

    Heidi #2 makes us all wish she was looking at us, and #3 is a nice beach shot.

  • (1, 2, 3)

  • Click Here!