Jubilee (1977) is supposedly a satire of contemporary British society as show through a gang of post punk women. Director Derek Jarman started making home movies with his circle of friends acting, and eventually decided to attempt a feature film outside traditional funding channels, in other words, the first British indie. He wrote the story, and built a cast comprised of both friends, and a few real actresses that he liked the look of.

Eilzabeth the 1st asks her court magician for a vision of the future. He obliges by conjuring an angel to lead then into the future, which is a post apocalyptic world run by gangs of bisexual female punks, equally frightening police, and mostly owned by a media mogul who owns everything, including all media, Buckingham Palace, and the Church of England. Our tale focuses on a group of female punks led by Bod (Jenny Runacre, who also plays Elizabeth). Members include a French maid, a butch pyromaniac (Mad, played by Toya Wilcox), historian Amyl Nitrate (Jordan), artist Viv (Linda Spurrier) and nymphomaniac actress Crabs (Nell Campbell), as well as gay lover brothers. The group spends a lot of time trying to be strange, getting naked, and, to break the tedium, commits the occasional murder.

Nudity includes breasts and bush from Jenny Runacre, full frontal and rear from Nell Campbell, buns from Jordan, and breasts and buns from Linda Spurrier. IMDb has this at 5.8. It did enjoy a theatrical release, where it was not well received by critics, or the punk crowd. It is not entirely a waste. In addition to the nudity, the film, made mostly by people in the art community, has very striking visuals. I won't pretend to understand the message of the film, and I gained no insight into the punk movement or its psychology. The DVD package is a Criterian release, and includes a featurette about the making of the film, and continuity stills. The transfer is not at all bad. I suppose the genre is "cult classic," which is judged by off-beat energy and fan support, and Jubilee has both. Therefore it is a C.

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  • Jenny Runacre (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
  • Jordan (1, 2, 3)
  • Linda Spurrier (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
  • Nell Campbell (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Jr's Polls
    This week's poll (Best Sex Scene in a Mainstream Movie ) was a close race but we do have a winner!

    I'll have the offical results and write up in a day or two.

    Here are the results of our most recent other polls...
    The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
    Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
    Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
    Best All Time Television Comedy
    Best Nudity in an Oscar-winning performance.

    Email Scoopy Jr. with more nominees, comments or suggestions.

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    First up from the Ghost today...a few video 'caps from the 1982 movie "Summer Lovers", starring Daryl Hannah, Valérie Quennessen and Peter "The Eyebrow King" Gallagher.

    • Daryl Hannah (zipped .wmvs). Here she is briefly topless in a couple of scenes. (1, 2, 3

    • Valérie Quennessen (zipped .wmvs). She bares all in #1 and is topless in links 2-5. 1-4 also feature plenty of nudity from extras at the nude beach. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    • Hannah and Quennessen (zipped .wmvs). Here we see them both baring their bums and showing partial breast views. (1, 2)

    Next up, here are a couple of clips featuring Skinemax babe Julian Wells gettin' it on in scenes from an episode of "The Best Sex Ever". Mostly breasts and some bum views, but #5 does show pubes.

    • Julian Wells (zipped .wmvs) (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Last up, Greta Scacchi topless in scenes from the thriller "Shattered" (1991). Directed by Wolfgang Petersen and starring Tom Berenger, Bob Hoskins, Joanne Whalley and Corbin Bernsen (before the grade-z movies). In #1 she's topless in bed. In #2 we see her topless in photographs.

    • Greta Scacchi (zipped .wmvs) (1, 2)

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Blood Angels"
    Not all vampires are created equal. You knew that, right? Thralls are a kind of sub-vampire; lower than vampires, "the white trash of vampires" according to the movie. Thralls don't kill people, they just take enough blood to survive, and the victims aren't permanently harmed. In fact, they seem to like it. Thralls' victims don't turn into vampires, and the real bummer: thralls can't fly.

    In this 2004 Canadian horror flick about thralls, six beautiful young women who are thralls run raves in a remote location near a large city. They also are trying to get away from Mr. Jones, a full-blown vampire who was their master and captor. To do this, they must complete a ritual which will free them from him, and turn them into full vampires.

    Things get even more complicated when the younger sister of one of the girls comes to stay. She isn't anything creepy, and doesn't know what her older sister has been doing in the big city, or what she has become.

    While this is a pretty poor B-movie by any standards, there are some unique parts, some great looking women, and enough blood to keep it interesting. The movie is also known as Thralls.

    Alexandra Maria Lara Topless in the tub during an episode of the German TV series "Mensch, Pia!".

    Eva Haßmann Brief toplessness in scenes from "Ein Engel und Paul".

    Lara-Joy Körner The daughter of long-time German TV regular Diana Körner. Here she is topless from an episode of the series "Vera".

    Veronica Ferres Cleavage and toplessness in scenes from "Kein Himmel über Afrika" (2005).

    Salma Hayek New this week on DVD! Here is the gorgeous Latina showing some cleavage and doing some yoga in scenes from "After The Sunset".

    Donna Sarrasin
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    Elizabeth Lambert (aka Locky Lambert)
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)

    Vejiita 'caps from the direct-to-vid 'Horror' flick, "Witchboard III: The Possession" (1995). Both ladies are topless and Lambert also bares her bum.

    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    A.J. Khan
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Misty Mundae
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Señor Skin takes a look at "The Girl Who Shagged Me" (2005). Looks like all 3 girls show all 3 B's.

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    NoThankYaVurryMuch - Lisa Marie Presley has a new album and plans for a spring tour, so she's appearing on "Oprah" this week and finally talking about her marriage to Michael Jackson. Squirming in discomfort, she called the relationship "toxic," but insisted she doesn't hate him or want to bash him and claimed it was a real marriage. She said she suspects Jackson used her, but she thinks he loved her "as much as he was capable of loving somebody."

  • Somebody who's over 12 and has breasts.
  • Like many couples, they broke up because he wanted children... except he wanted them instead of her.
  • If he truly loved her, he would've advised her not to sing.
  • She's releasing a second album, then going on tour to apologize.

    Gray Area - After years of shoving older workers out the door, companies such as Borders Books, MetLife, Wal-Mart, Home Depot and others are now actively recruiting retirees. They're advertising in churches and senior centers, and offering benefits like flexible hours, health care and even "snowbird specials," where employees can work in Florida in the winter. They say older workers have lower turnover rates and a stronger work ethic than younger workers, learn faster, and often do a better job.

  • At Home Depot's power tool department, young workers call the old ones "Gramps" and old workers call the young ones "Stumpy."
  • The older workers are better at Borders Books because they know how to read.
  • And if you want someone to stand guard over your lawn, they can't be beat!
  • Plus, since they're retired, they'll work for almost NOTHING!
  • At last, TV anchorwomen over 40 have somewhere to go!

    A Fort Worthless Idea - Hollywood is planning a big-screen version of the 1980s TV show, "Dallas," starring Catherine Zeta-Jones as Pamela Ewing, and possibly featuring Brad Pitt. Pitt briefly appeared on "Dallas" in 1988, as Charlotte Wade's boyfriend, Randy. The writer said the movie would not be set in the '80s, but would be a "big, all-star, flashy, go-for-it version" that would reinvent the Ewings as if they existed in 2006.

  • Pretty much the same, except with smaller shoulder pads.
  • With the price of oil in 2006, they won't live in Dallas, they'll own it.
  • They hope to get Snoop Dogg to play J.R., because nobody can ever figure out who shot a rapper.

  • A quick site note
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