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"Last Resort" (1986)

Last Resort (1986) is a Roger Corman low budget special. Think "Vacation," but on mescaline. Newly unemployed George Lollar (Charles Grodin) leaves a snowy Chicago, and takes his family to a tropical paradise -- Club Sand. The accommodations are not quite what they expected based on the travel brochure, but the biggest shock is that Club Sand is a swingers club. On arrival, George's wife, daughter, and two sons want to return home immediately. Alla Chevy Chase, George convinces them to give it a chance. The daughter finds a hot young revolutionary, and decides that two weeks of sun and sex is a vacation after all. The youngest son gets a real education watching the female guests, and the older son manages to "get laid." George's wife discovers that a combination of booze, pot, and magic mushrooms, together with the fun games, like "show us your breasts," a Club Sand tradition, also turn the trip into a real vacation.

There is plenty of breast and bun exposure from three bit players. Irina Maleeva and her husbands play nudists, Brenda Bakke has a long topless scene trying to seduce George in her film debut, and Wally Wharton, a one time wonder, shows her breasts through bushes swapping clothes with George in another game.

Maltin awards 2 1/2 stars, admitting that it has funny moments. Ebert says 1 star, and IMDB readers seem to agree at 4.6/10. The acting is way over the top, with a host of totally outlandish characters, but the production values were up to Corman's usual standards, and the full-screen DVD transfer is a little over-saturated, but very crisp. The film was made for less than $1m, which is low indeed for 1985, and filmed on Catalina, off the coast of LA. I agree with Maltin. There are breasts, sunsets, and some truely funny moments, making it a good mindless rental. Call this a C+.

  • Thumbnails

  • Brenda Bakke (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Irina Maleeva (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Wally Wharton (1, 2, 3)
  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    New to DVD

    I looked at Hollywood Vice Squad. What a sanitized, politically correct but tonally inappropriate piece of merde this is. Imagine if the investigation in "8MM" had been done by Toody and Muldoon on TV. Ooh, ooh, Francis, she's selling herself .... . Maltin rated it a bomb, and he was pretty damned generous.


    Tomcat had far more luck than I did, and came up with more than a dozen collages in his series of Polish actresses

    • Bozena Dykiel (1, 2)
    • Jolanta Grusznic
    • Kasia Kaczmarek (1, 2, 3)
    • Grazyna Laszczyk
    • Paulina Mlynarska. These images are the pick of the litter, taken from two different movies. I especially like the last one from "Wirus" (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    • Jolanta Nowak
    • stripper. I believe the name of this movie is "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Kielbasa". Ok, at least it's something about a tiger -"tygrysy". Hell, I was proud to recognize even one Polish word. As usual, it has no vowels. You know how France has that "purity of language" commssion that keeps their language free from corrupting modernization and foreign influences? Poland has the same type of institute, except its charge is to keep their language free from vowels. Whenever a "u" or an "o" creeps in, they pack it up and deport it to Hawaii. (1, 2)

    Lots of Fresh Material

    Honte's site is updated

    Charlie's site is updated

    Rawhide Kid
    The Sports Illustrated Desk calendar has quite a few newer shots of the SI Babes as well as a few of the already established shots from earlier SI products. At first I thought, "Wow, 365 babes!" But 'twas not to be. The calendar begins repeating pictures on April 2nd, but it's still a good product.

    Today's batch include 3 from Elle McPherson. I like the first one because of what it implies. She appears to be pulling down the neckline on the black 1 piece she's wearing with an expression on her face that says "Here... have a peek!" That's our Elle!

    #2 has Elle leaning forward, displaying her charms to very good advantage. I really like this suit because of what it doesn't do. It gives the impression of being able to see everything without really giving it all away.

    Elle #3 is a fantastic shot of her long, lean body displayed very nicely. Her eyes literally tell the viewer "I'm Yours". (I wish!!)

  • Elle (1, 2, 3)

    Elsa Benitez debuts today wearing a grey 2 piece that very nicely displays her ample bust. That's the thing I like about SI. You think you're getting more than you are. It makes looking at their bikinied babes almost as fun as looking at nudes. (although I wish Heidi would have moved her hands in that body paint shot from last year!)

    I really like the #2 Elsa. I don't know why, I just do. If you're a buttman or a breastman, this one's worth a look!

  • Elsa (1, 2)
  • Schmutzfink
    This week's theme...more German goodies.

    Susan Anbeh Excellent breast exposure from the TV series "Himmel und Erde" (2000.

    Christina Scholz Frontal shower scene nudity in these vidcaps from "Liebe, Tod und Eisenbahn" (1989)

    Anja Freese Topless in "Luftpiraten - 113 Passagiere in Todesangst".

    Marion Kracht Topless in a love scene with a Frank Zappa look-a-like (assuming he didn't fake his own death and move to Germany to become a bit part, character actor). Scenes from "Die Letzte Station"

    Karin Thaler Side breast exposure from "Der Bergdoktor".

    and ...
    Jeanie Millar
    Joan Severance
    Kimberly Rowe

    3 collages by Dann from "Black Scorpion II". Oddly enough, everyone goes topless except Severance.

    Lisa Bonet
    (1, 2)

    Two great single frames of breast exposure from "Angel Heart".

    Jennifer Aniston
    (1, 2)
    For those who tuned into "Survivor", you missed some serious pokies on Thursday!

    Paula Marshall
    (1, 2)
    #1 shows Paula topless in a scene with Robo Cop, and also after a massage (there may even be a hint of pubes too). Excellent vidcaps by Kruger from "The New Age".

    #2 shows Paula just barely keeping her lingerie on in scenes from "The Weber Show".

    Cybill Shepherd Excellent topless 'caps from 1971's "The Last Picture Show".

    Katherine Heigl Partial breast side breast exposure from "The Tempest".

    Julianne Moore A single frame of nipple exposure from "Boogie Nights".

    Kira Reed and Lorissa McComas
    (1, 2)

    Two collages from a girl on girl photo shoot.

    Second Helpings
    Today was another one of those slow news days, so here is a second look at some previous offerings.

    Adriana Giotta
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7,
    8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

    An interesting series of B&Ws that first popped up a few months ago. Very nice nudity, but an odd "storyline". I think link #8 is my pick of the litter.

    Manuela Arcuri A gorgeous exposed single breast scan from PicCap. Most yanks are not too familiar with her since her name doesn't exactly equate to big bucks in the minds of movie producers. But it's a well known fact that 90% of everything that comes out of Hollywood is crap anyway, so what do they know!

    By the's a little observation about H-wood....Is it me or has anyone else noticed that the only place where awards are handed out as frequently is at summer camp. Ya know, because all of the kids are special, and they are all winners.

    Ann Heche

    Ellen Degeneres and Sharon Stone

    Michelle Williams and Chloe Sevigny

    3 great collages by Dann from the "If These Walls Could Talk" movies.
  • Ann topless in the tub from part one.
  • Ellen and Sharon both baring their breasts in a love scene
  • Michelle and Chloe...I'm sure you guys already know.

  • Mathilda May Another Scoopy rule...When in doubt, show Mathilda topless. Vidcaps from "The Tit and the Moon".

    The Funnies
    The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that, "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount."

    However, in modern military, business and government circles, a whole range of far more advanced strategies are often employed, such as...

    1. Buying a stronger whip.
    2. Changing Riders.
    3. Threatening the horse with termination.
    4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
    5. Arranging to visit other countries to see how others ride dead horses.
    6. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
    7. Reclassifying the dead horse as "living impaired."
    8. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.

    9. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase the speed.
    10. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse's performance.
    11. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.
    12. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead, and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.
    13. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.
    14. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.

    From Number 6....

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.
    2. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
    3. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
    4. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
    5. Birthdays, Valentines Day, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
    6. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
    7. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
    8. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
    9. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that way.
    10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.
    11. Crying is blackmail.
    12. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say whatever the hell it is you want!
    13. We don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on the calendar.
    14. Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes.
    15. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
    16. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
    17. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
    18. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
    19. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
    20. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
    21. Check your oil.
    22. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
    23. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
    24. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
    25. Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.
    26. You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something, but not both.
    27. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
    28. The most ANY man can see is only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
    29. If it itches, it will be scratched.
    30. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
    31. If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
    32. What the hell is a doily?

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