I have seen some odd movies over the years, but I don't know if I
have ever seen one comparable to this. What makes it so supremely
strange is that it is a 90 minute black comedy with about 87 minutes
of perfectly serious plotline about some Catholic priests trying to
track down some satanic cultists in order to perform an exorcism. If
you were to watch those 87 minutes, your most probable top-line
reaction would be that it is a low-budget horror movie with some
amateur moments, but that the director did some fairly interesting
things with a budget very close to zero. You would probably not
suspect that it was supposed to be a comedy, although it would
sometimes seem a bit off kilter.
And then there are the other three minutes, which consist of
absurd comedy performed with a straight face, just pure surrealism stuck in the middle of an
otherwise predictable genre flick. And there's no possibility that it
could be unintentional. There
is absolutely no question that those moments are meant to be funny, as
the clip below illustrates:
Although that is a Woody Allen moment, I can't stress enough that the movie
takes itself seriously in general. Well, kinda - at least it chooses to keep all
the humor as deadpan as possible. But then it layers in a half-dozen "WTF?"
moments similar to the one above.
Another example: There is a straightforward capture-torture scene in which an
insane devil worshipper wants a young Catholic acolyte to betray his allies.
When the standard torture methods fail to produce the desired results, the
madman threatens the brave young man with the most painful death of all: being
grated to death with a cheese grater - a death as slow as it is excruciating.
That gets him to talk.
What can you say? Satan's Whip is unique. There are very few reviews or
comments online, but you can make a safe bet that reviewers will love it or
despise it, and that most of the IMDb scores will be 1s and 10s, with very few
people scoring it in the lukewarm areas. When I checked the stats, there were 29
votes including ten 1s and ten 10s. There were no fives, sixes or sevens! And yet overall the film scores in the middle -
the group scores it right in the range where no
individual actually scores it! And that's probably fair. It has various plusses
and minuses. On the positive side, the director managed to get some damned good
performances from a rag-tag cast of nobodies, showed a grotesque sense of humor,
created some atmosphere without spending any money on it, and achieved some good
visual effects by allowing swaths of color to shine through what is essentially a b&w movie
(as you can see from the clip).
That's a pretty good bang for the buck. On the negative side, the plot
between the punch lines can get tedious, and you may find
yourselves tapping your toes, thinking "get on with it."
Did I like the movie? Damned if I know. I'm still trying to figure that
out. How is one supposed to react? It's not really funny enough consistently
enough to be considered a comedy, and it's not really spooky enough consistently
enough to be a horror film, and yet it really does have a certain offbeat
appeal. Imagine for a moment the first time you read The Tell-Tale Heart.
Now imagine that one of your buddies pulled an April Fool's prank on you and
inserted a half-dozen comic zingers in the middle of it, leaving everything else
intact. That's the experience you get from watching this movie.
Hannah Friedman has five nude scenes, but each one is only a few seconds
long. She plays a demon that appears to the young seminarian every time he falls
asleep. I just joined the scenes together in
this clip. (The five scenes
are separated on the clip by a brief insert of him waking up.)
* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).
* White asterisk:
Blue asterisk: not mine.
No asterisk: it probably
Catch the deluxe
version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles,
Hollywood Swingers may or may not be in Hollywood, but contains no
swingers. Two guys own and run a highly successful webcast business showing
hardcore sex when the bottom falls out of the .coms. Their investors take
everything, including their lawyer. The businessman of the two buys their sets
back at auction, and the techno guy uses a PDA and a cell phone to create a
satellite feed and make another broadcast. The former investors like it so
much, they decide to back them again.
While this is another no-plot softcore, the small amount of dialogue is
actually humorous, making this slightly better than others of its ilk.
Calli Cox 16
Monica Mayhem 14
Simone Price 15
Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet
Today a little soft core erotica.
There's nothing special about this one but there is a decent amount of nudity from some
Nicole Sheridan stars and reveals all in these caps and
Rebecca Love shows only her big boobs.
Beverly Lynne has only one scene as she gets in on with a guy. Caps and
Michelle Lay shows it all as she gets laid.
Syren & Christine Nguyen have a lesbo encounter, Christine is the one with the bangs.
Nicole Sheridan, Syren & Christine Nguyen, getting it on with one lucky
Notes and collages
The General's Daughter
There will be three women from this vid. Two are
found in the issues from the last two days.
The series will continue with the third tomorrow. I hope.
(I am having trouble connecting to Brainscan's
Lake Dead is one of the "8 Films to Die For" series of horror films. I
expected that would mean it was outstanding, but it isn't. It's not bad,
but it is B-movie horror all the way.
Three sisters inherit a motel from a grandfather they didn't even know
was alive. Two of the sisters get together with friends and set off for
the motel in an RV, while the third will meet them there.
Once there, the kindly old lady manager greets them with open arms, but
unknown to them, she has a few surprises in store, including her two
No happy ending here of course, just good ole' horror fun, complete
with a nice nude scene. Not exceptional, but a solid B-horror flick.