Saturday

Tuna
"In the Cold of the Night"

In the Cold of the Night (1989), according to IMDB, has an NC-17, and was a direct to video in 1991. The DVD I screened has an MPAA R rating, and is exactly the same length as the one listed by IMDB. This thriller is by Niko Mastorakis, and tells the story of a fashion photographer who begins having very realistic nightmares where he murders the same woman in a variety of different ways. He really becomes concerned when he wakes up actually choking his bedmate, Shannon Tweed, while having the nightmare. He eventually discovers that his dream girl is Adrienne Sachs, and starts a torrid affair with her, eventually discovering the source of his nightmares. That is as far as I will go, on the off chance any of you decide to see this. Tweed shows breasts, and Sachs shows breasts and buns, and maybe a little bush in a shower then sex scene. The scene is lengthy, but the lighting is difficult. IMDB readers have this at 3.7 of 10. Taken as a soft-core, it doesn't have nearly enough sex and nudity, but the acting is about on a par with the typical soft core film. I found the entire premise very hard to swallow, and the story very weak, On the other hand, I am very hard on thrillers, so the proper score is probably C-.

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails

  • Adrianne Sachs (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)
  • Shannon Tweed (1, 2, 3, 4)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Updates:

    • Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated

     

    Other crap:

     


    What're the odds?

     

    Wimbledon 2003: Odds to win the Men's Single Title

    From the All England Lawn Tennis & Croquet Club in London, England - June 23 to July 6.
    Closing Date: May 25, 2003 19:00

     

    Bet Selections Win Odds
    Lleyton Hewitt 9/4
    Andre Agassi 7/2
    Pete Sampras 8/1
    Roger Federer 9/1
    Tim Henman 10/1
    Marat Safin 12/1
    Tommy Haas 18/1
    Richard Krajicek 18/1
    Andy Roddick 20/1
    Mark Philippoussis 22/1
    Nicolas Escude 30/1
    Goran Ivanisevic 35/1

     


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Brainscan
    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    Fantasies 2 (1992) follows Fantasies 1 and precedes Fantasies 3. Same set up in all three: beautiful nekkid babes lolling around out in nature, sometimes with male-type people, oft-times in pairs. Big difference in three? Well, in 1 and 3 the aforementioned beautiful nekkid babes were anonymous folk, whose names are known only to their mothers and fathers... and they ain't watching. In Fantasies 2, however, many of the babes are famous B-movie types and cross-over pornabies. We be talking about the likes of Amy Rochelle, Ashlie Rhey, Monique Gabrielle, Tamara Landry and Traci Dali. Seriously nekkid for minutes on end. A seriously kick-ass idea. The photography is wonderful, the DVD transfer impeccable...as close to perfect as we're gonna get unless Fantasies 4 gives us Nicole Kidman, Buffy, Jennifer Connelly and Heather Graham -dare to dream.

    Day 1...

    • Amy Rochelle in three scenes, topless throughout, bush in 2-7, 11-14, 18 and 23 (my faves are 14 and 18) and bum in 20, 21 and 22. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)

    • Ashlie Rhey in two scenes, robo-hooters in 1-4, bum in 5. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    • Diana Cuevas, oh so briefly in two scenes, hooters only. (1, 2)

    • Pornstar Lene Hefner, making all nicey-nicey with a guy. Hooters in 1-3 and in 5. Nice shots, up close and personal. From a much greater distance comes the two frames in collage #4. I put in those frames because it seems to these eyes o' mine that she is sitting on Mister Stiffie. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    • Melanie Good, aka Alexandra Lakewood, in two scenes. First ten collages are from a terrific triple-B scene all by her lonesome, the last six are from a sport-humpin' scene that includes from righteous hootie smooching. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)

    Mr. Grundy
    'Caps and comments by Mr. G:

    "Dracula's Widow" is a 1989 romp, starring Sylvia Kristel as the vampire's lady; the Dutch actress figured she more than paid her dues in the EMMANUELLE films, among others.. which means it was up to Rachel Jones to do the undressing honors. Ms. Jones has not had the most prolific film career, although she did a fitting job as the sweet, "virginal" girlfriend in Christopher Coppola's (brother of Nicholas Cage) first film effort. (Incidentally, Sylvia Kristel's last film role appears to have been in last year's Turkish film called BANKA, with co-star Daryl Hannah!)


    Tara Lee-Anne Roth in her only "film" experience (this is yet another Jerry Feifer shot-on-video cheapie) from 1993, the all-American sweetie somehow gets past showing us her goodies, which just isn't fair, given that "High Kicks" has nearly nothing else to offer. An IMDb reviewer cleverly comments this highly sanitized version of MS. 45 / I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE "is acted like a porno without the porn."


    David Brandon/Cain does a fine job as our favorite perverted Roman emperor, in 1981's "Caligula: The Untold Story". Fabiola Toledo plays one Holy Toledo, as a girl who saves herself for marriage... until Caligula takes a bite out of the apple of his eye. Directed by a favorite sleaze-director, Joe D'Amato, the film also stars Laura Gemser and her one time husband, Gabriele Tinti, who we get the pleasure of seeing a spear forced up his rectum.


    Bernice Steger -- The sexy actress went straight from Fellini's "City of Women" to Lamberto Bava's directorial debut, "Macabre" (1980), where she plays a disturbed woman simply wanting to get a head. Gotta love the "creepy" daughter in this one (Veronica Zinny, in her sole screen appearance). Although I told Junior I won't be so strict about hunting up matter not featured in the archives, I later noticed Tuna had covered this ground already, in his typically spectacular way... and there was little in the way of showing a fresh angle, because Tuna is just too thorough! What an incentive to go back to being "original," again...


    As always, Mr.Grundy invites you to visit his yahoo group, Sick Sexy Sinema Shots

    Variety
    Heather Graham Fantastic collage and a few comments by Dann:

    "Killing Me Softly"

    After a whirlwind romance of a few days, a new mountain climber husband turns out not to be all that he appeared to be.

    Predictable and not very well-acted, but fans of Heather Graham will see plenty of her in this movie, because she did a lot of nudity.

    Yvonne Sciņ
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    New 'caps from Vejiita...toplessness and some partial rear nudity in scenes from the straight-to-vid, Rutger Hauer flick "Redline" (the IMDb calls is "Deathline").

    Natacha Amal
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Señor Skin 'caps of Amal topless in love scenes from the Italian movie "Gialloparma" (1999).

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    MANDATORY SWEET TEA LAW PROPOSED
    Strained Humor - Georgia State Rep. John Noel of Atlanta proposed a bill making it a misdemeanor "of a high and aggravated nature," punishable by up to a year in jail, for any restaurant that serves iced tea not to serve sweet tea, too. Noel got the idea when he ordered Georgia-style sweet tea in Chicago, and they didn't have it. He said the bill was just meant to add a little humor to the Legislature, but he wouldn't mind if it became law.

  • I think he's been drinking Long Island iced tea.
  • Texas has a law like that, only it carries the death penalty.
  • Having to put in the sugar yourself is an AFFRONT and an ABOMINATION!!


    "AMERICAN IDOL" CONTESTANT HAD FELONY BUST
    Lashundra?! - The SmokingGun.com posted the mug shots of "American Idol" finalist Trenyce, real name Lashundra Cobbins. When she was 18 in 1999, she was busted for felony theft, but placed in a pre-trial diversion program and told if she kept her nose clean, her record would be expunged. The producers said she already told them about the incident and it didn't disqualify her. However, when she was asked on camera to name her most embarrassing moment, she said, "I don't have one that I can think of."

  • She has one now.
  • It was expunged from her memory.
  • This is the show's most embarrassing bust since Frenchy went topless.
  • She was trying to steal a new name.
  • At least she isn't guilty of felony assault on songs, the way some other contestants are.


    BRANDO CLAIMS HE'S BROKE
    He Ate His Estate - Marlon Brando's ex-maid/ex-lover Maria Ruiz is suing him for $100 million, but he claims his estate has dwindled to almost nothing. He says he's had to liquidate assets and mortgage his home and he lives off a $6,000 a month pension and $1,856 in Social Security.

  • And that doesn't even cover his Twinkie bill.
  • Plus the occasional bit part in a movie for a paltry $1 million.
  • He invested all his money in chocolate coins, then ate them.
  • He can't even afford to hire maids to sleep with anymore!