In your Las Vegas Bachelor Party photo, I believe the first photo is Sophia Rossi, Club Jenna girl and porn star


Some Vids:

Caroline at Midnight is an obscure straight-to-vid noir which may never make it to DVD, so I guess we had better enjoy a good VHS clip while we can.  The DVD producers have really lost interest in the minor items of the 80s and early 90s film catalogue since the TV segment started to dominate the DVD markets. This is not good for us, because 80s and early 90s films contain nudity, while TV shows seldom do, except for Dennis Franz.

Mia Sara has had strictly a grade-B career. She's not especially talented or especially pretty, and she has kind of an ugly boob job, but she will always be beloved beyond her actual accomplishments because so many guys treasure the memory of her as an adorable 18 year old in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Anyone? Anyone?

Here is the clip. (Zipped .avi)

And here are some sample captures:



Another Mia. This is a VERY sexy and economical clip from The L Word, season 3, episode 12. (Zipped .avi) Mia Kirshner gets wine poured on her nipple, followed by ... well, I think you know the rest.

An all-time favorite: Linda Hamilton in The Terminator. (Zipped .avi)


Other Crap:


  • A new book: "Barbra : The Way She Is" (see Pat Reeder's notes below, in the Comedy Wire section)
  • "New information about her many failed love affairs, including her never-before-revealed relationships with Prince Charles and Princess Diana's doomed lover Dodi Fayed -- as well as Warren Beatty, Ryan O'Neal, former Canadian prime minister Pierre Trudeau, Steve McQueen, Richard Gere, Kris Kristofferson, Don Johnson, Jon Voight, Andre Agassi, newsman Peter Jennings, and more . . .
  • A provocative inside account of what really went on between Streisand and Bill Clinton in the White House, what their relationship is like today, and how Hillary feels about Barbra."

Here is a BitTorrent of the Howard Stern Show with the incredible Wilmer Valderrama interview. (See below for details.)

Wilmer Valderrama tells Howard Stern that he has a big penis and has fucked almost everyone.

"In one study of 22 astrology buffs, half were presented with their real horoscopes and half were presented with fake charts saying the exact opposite. Both groups said their horoscopes were 96 to 97 percent accurate."

  •  This does not refute astrology. It simply proves "Scoopy's Law," which states that everything is 96% correct, except for the occasional item which is 97% correct. It is rumored that back in the poorly-documented reign of Ethelred the Unready, His Unpreparedness made a statement that was only 95% correct, but unfortunately we are not able to reconstruct precisely what that statement was, so we can't subject it to modern analysis. An important corollary of Scoopy's Law is Scoopy's Paradox, which states that if a statement is 96% correct, its opposite is also 96% correct. Scoopy's Law seems to undermine the Mudd's Robots Paradox, because we now know that the statement that "I always lie" is actually only 96% true.

The Smoking Gun: John Kerry's tour demands

  • "John Kerry, whose list of demands makes Sprite-lovin' Vice President Dick Cheney look like a travelin' rube."

Katherine Harris's advisers urged her to quit, but she went ahead with her own money.

  • "They suggested she abandon her bid for the U.S. Senate because it would be a 'tough row to hoe' given the numerous setbacks the campaign had suffered."

Legendary Jack Black TV Pilot Hits Web

  • The 30-minute pilot for "Heat Vision and Jack" is now online for all to see. For some reason, Fox rejected the Ben Stiller-directed comedy that starred Jack Black as the world's smartest man and Owen Wilson as his talking motorcycle. It was made back in '99, before High Fidelity changed Black's career.

"Ocean's Thirteen" set to start filming in July

  • Zeta and Julia will not return. They will be replaced by Ellen Barkin. The guys are all back, including the gang's nemesis, Andy Garcia.

Bastoy: the comfy Norwegian prison

  • When I lived in Scandinavia, I used to tell visiting Americans a true story and they thought I was kidding. Many poor Poles used to go to Sweden or Norway just to commit crimes. It was a no-lose proposition. If they got away with the crimes, their Scandinavian booty bought a great life in Poland. If they were caught, well, life in a Norwegian prison was still better than life in Polish poverty.

The trailer from "Fuck", a documentary about the short "f" word which is never heard on "f" day on Sesame Street.

The international trailer for American Dreamz

  • Hugh Grant stars as the cynical, Simon Cowell-like host of a reality show, and Dennis Quaid plays the rather dim American President who agrees to be a guest judge.

Professor Charlie Sheen talks about his brilliant 911 conspiracy theory.

BUSH ORDERS "PLAN FOR VICTORY" SIGN THE SIZE OF IRAQ ... Gigantic Placard to Hover Over War-torn Nation

FHM readers declare Scarlett Johansson 'World's Sexiest Woman'

Polish science fiction writer Stanislaw Lem dies at 84

  • Oh, darn. And I was so looking forward to Solaris 2

RapidShare Video - Leisha Haley and Lauren Lee Smith in Season 3, Episode 12 of The L Word

RapidShare Video - Ali Larter's whipped cream bikini in Varsity Blues

"ESPN will kick off the new era of Monday Night Football with a doubleheader"

  • The first Sunday Night game will be the Manning Bowl - Eli vs Payton in the league's first-ever match-up of brothers as opposing quarterbacks

For the record, Silent Bob explains why he thinks Reese Witherspoon is a cunt. (Column written nearly five years ago.)

Silent Bob calls Reese Witherspoon a cunt, and jokes about egging her house.

Boorah, granny! Marines Try to Recruit 78-Year-Old Woman Drop and give me fifty.

The official site for United 93 has added two featurettes

Anti-Immigration Rally Targets Canadians

Five more clips from Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction

This week in Unnecessary Censorship

FCC BANS ALL FOUR LETTER WORDS ON TV ... Writers trying to avoid “your,” “that,” “don’t” in dialogue to avoid multi-million dollar fines

"Hoping to cash in on Snakes on a Plane hysteria through the year, New Line is also producing Sabre Tooth Tigers on a Plane for release in October and, in a bid to capture a family holiday audience, Penguins on a Plane for December release."

Saddam planned to deploy 'camels of mass destruction', the unfiltered kind. Silly as it seems, this is a real news item, not a spoof.

I love this guy! The late night commercials of lawyer Jim "The Hammer" Shapiro

  • Of course he's a living legend. Just ask him.



Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.




Night Train to Terror (1985)

Night Train to Terror is a horror trilogy tied together with conversations between God and Satan on a train. God and Satan are arguing over the souls of the people in each of the stories. The train is headed for a wreck, with a band in the next car, Satan's idea of fun. Given the quality of the one song the band plays over and over, I am with Satan on this one.

The first story has been released as Marilyn Alive, or Behind Bars, or Scream Your Head Off, and is about a bogus mental hospital that kidnaps and drugs people, mostly women, then sells their body parts. A man is hypnotized into helping them recruit victims and service the female partner. When they forget his injection, he has a change of heart. Nifty little ending to this one. Score one for God.

The second section, originally titled The Death Wish Club, has a young woman led into porn by a ruthless character. When a man visits his old fraternity and sees one of her films, he must have her. He tracks her down, and wins her heart, but her keeper is loath to let her go. His solution? To get them into his favorite game, where everyone puts themselves into a near-death experience. True love wins out in the end. Score another for God.

The third tale is an excerpt from Cataclysm, which had already been re-edited into Satan's Supper and The Nightmare that Never Ends. I don't know if any of the edits of this one made a lot of sense, but this one is sketchy at best, is full of bad effects, and has no nudity. A doctor is charged with cutting out the heart of Satan's representative on earth, while her husband has started the "God is dead" movement, and somehow, Satan's representative, who never ages, was a kingpin in Nazi Germany, and is the target of an old Jewish activist. She fails, but God cheats and grants them both mercy. Three strikes, Satan, you are outta here.

In the first section, we have breast exposure from Lisa Watkins, Micki Anne Corbin and Meredith Kennedy as victims, and full frontal from an unidentified actress. Meredith Haze, as the women in the second tale, does full frontal and rear nudity. All of these women have multiple credits at IMDb, but are all actually for the same film in different incarnations.

IMDb readers have scored this 3.1, but there is no telling which version of which film anyone voted on. I feel like the shortening of each part probably helped this one, as there wasn't time for any segment to get too boring. The few reviewers who have commented on this basically like it in the bad movie sense. Based on the first 2/3, the score would have been higher, but I will give the entire thing a C- as a bad movie.

Scoop's note: Check out the IMDb page for the guy who plays Satan.

Lisa Watkins
Micki Anne Corbin
Meredith Kennedy
Meredith Haze






The late Lana Clarkson will probably forever be best remembered for her 1985 appearance in "Barbarian Queen" which would be an easy movie to forget if not for the baring of Lana's breasts in the dungeon. Lana's "babe in bondage" torture scene is one of the best of all time.







The Fog

- Maggie Grace x7c

- Meghan Heffern and Sonja Bennett x5c


Sin City: Recut, Extended and Unrated

- Brittany Murphy x6c

- Carla Gugino x5c

- Devon Aoki x1c

- Jaime King x5c

- Jessica Alba x8c

- Rosario Dawson x5c






Shocking! The Ghost turned off Skinemax and decided to watch some movies! Cable movies, of course.

Julie McCullough in Big Bad Mama 2




Paparazzi - Jessica Alba
Paparazzi - Mariah Carey
Farrah Fawcett - Myra Breckenridge
Farrah Fawcett - Extremities


Pat's comments in yellow...

Randy Quaid is suing the producers of "Brokeback Mountain" for $10
million, claiming he was tricked into being underpaid for his role as the suspicious foreman of the two gay cowboys.  Quaid claims he accepted much lower pay than he normally demands because he was told the movie was a low-budget art house film that wouldn't be widely distributed and would make very little money. Instead, it opened wide and has made over $80 million so far.

*  He had no idea that the opening could be wide enough to take in so much. 

*  Turns out all the cowboys in this movie got screwed.

*  The producers say if Quaid had just asked for a piece of the back end, he would've gotten it

* Seems he has 20/20 hindsight.   

* He knew there was something funny about those producers, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

The New York Post reports that a new tell-all book called "Barbra: The
Way She Is" will spill secrets Streisand doesn't want known.  Among them: A long list of men she's allegedly had affairs with, including Richard Gere, Tommy Smothers, Steve McQueen and Prince Charles; that she's so cheap, workmen often have to put liens on her property to get her to pay bills; that everyone in her high school choir thought her half-sister was much
more talented; that she moves around a lot in concert because of fears a sniper will assassinate her; and that ex-lover Sydney Chaplin used to insult her onstage during performances of "Funny Girl" by whispering the word "Nose" into her ear.

*  Prince Charles had an affair with Barbra Streisand?  No wonder he thinks Camilla looks good.