In your Las Vegas Bachelor Party photo, I believe the
first photo is Sophia Rossi, Club Jenna girl and porn star
Midnight is an obscure straight-to-vid noir which may never make
it to DVD, so I guess we had better enjoy a good VHS clip while we
can. The DVD producers have really lost interest in the minor
items of the 80s and early 90s film catalogue since the TV segment
started to dominate the DVD markets. This is not good for us, because
80s and early 90s films contain nudity, while TV shows seldom do,
except for Dennis Franz.
Mia Sara has had strictly a grade-B
career. She's not especially talented or especially pretty, and she
has kind of an ugly boob job, but she will always be beloved beyond
her actual accomplishments because so many guys treasure the memory of
her as an adorable 18 year old in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
Here is the clip. (Zipped
And here are some
Another Mia. This is a VERY sexy and economical clip
from The L Word, season 3, episode 12. (Zipped
.avi) Mia Kirshner gets wine poured
on her nipple, followed by ... well, I think you know the rest.
An all-time favorite: Linda
Hamilton in The Terminator. (Zipped
- A new book: "Barbra : The Way She Is" (see Pat Reeder's notes
below, in the Comedy Wire section)
- "New information about her many failed love affairs, including her
never-before-revealed relationships with Prince Charles and Princess Diana's
doomed lover Dodi Fayed -- as well as Warren Beatty, Ryan O'Neal, former
Canadian prime minister Pierre Trudeau, Steve McQueen, Richard Gere, Kris
Kristofferson, Don Johnson, Jon Voight, Andre Agassi, newsman Peter Jennings,
and more . . .
- A provocative inside account of what really went on between Streisand and Bill
Clinton in the White House, what their relationship is like today, and how
Hillary feels about Barbra."
Here is a BitTorrent of the Howard Stern Show with the incredible Wilmer
Valderrama interview. (See below for details.)
Valderrama tells Howard Stern that he has a big penis and has fucked almost
"In one study of 22 astrology
buffs, half were presented with their real horoscopes and half were presented
with fake charts saying the exact opposite. Both groups said their horoscopes
were 96 to 97 percent accurate."
This does not refute
astrology. It simply proves "Scoopy's Law," which states that everything is
96% correct, except for the occasional item which is 97% correct. It is
rumored that back in the poorly-documented reign of Ethelred the Unready, His
Unpreparedness made a statement that was only 95% correct, but unfortunately
we are not able to reconstruct precisely what that statement was, so we can't
subject it to modern analysis. An important corollary of Scoopy's Law is
Scoopy's Paradox, which states that if a statement is 96% correct, its
opposite is also 96% correct. Scoopy's Law seems to undermine the Mudd's
Robots Paradox, because we now know that the statement that "I always lie" is
actually only 96% true.
The Smoking Gun:
John Kerry's tour demands
- "John Kerry, whose list of demands makes Sprite-lovin' Vice President Dick
Cheney look like a travelin' rube."
Katherine Harris's advisers urged her to
quit, but she went ahead with her own money.
- "They suggested she abandon her bid for the U.S. Senate because it would
be a 'tough row to hoe' given the numerous setbacks the campaign had
Legendary Jack Black TV Pilot
- The 30-minute pilot for "Heat Vision and Jack" is now online for all to
see. For some reason, Fox rejected the Ben Stiller-directed comedy that
starred Jack Black as the world's smartest man and Owen Wilson as his talking
motorcycle. It was made back in '99, before High Fidelity changed Black's
"Ocean's Thirteen" set to
start filming in July
- Zeta and Julia will not return. They will be replaced by Ellen Barkin. The
guys are all back, including the gang's nemesis, Andy Garcia.
Bastoy: the comfy Norwegian
- When I lived in Scandinavia, I used to tell visiting Americans a true
story and they thought I was kidding. Many poor Poles used to go to Sweden or
Norway just to commit crimes. It was a no-lose proposition. If they got away with
the crimes, their Scandinavian booty bought a great life in Poland. If they
were caught, well, life in a Norwegian prison was still better than life in
The trailer from "Fuck",
a documentary about the short "f" word which is never heard on "f" day on Sesame
The international trailer for
- Hugh Grant stars as the cynical, Simon Cowell-like host of a reality show,
and Dennis Quaid plays the rather dim American President who agrees to be a
Professor Charlie Sheen talks
about his brilliant 911 conspiracy theory.
BUSH ORDERS "PLAN FOR VICTORY"
SIGN THE SIZE OF IRAQ ... Gigantic
Placard to Hover Over War-torn Nation
FHM readers declare Scarlett
Johansson 'World's Sexiest Woman'
Polish science fiction writer
Stanislaw Lem dies at 84
- Oh, darn. And I was so looking forward to Solaris 2
RapidShare Video - Leisha
Haley and Lauren Lee Smith in Season 3, Episode 12 of The L Word
RapidShare Video - Ali
Larter's whipped cream bikini in Varsity Blues
"ESPN will kick off the new
era of Monday Night Football with a doubleheader"
- The first Sunday Night game will be the Manning Bowl - Eli vs Payton in
the league's first-ever match-up of brothers as opposing quarterbacks
For the record, Silent Bob
explains why he thinks Reese Witherspoon is a cunt.
(Column written nearly five years ago.)
Silent Bob calls Reese
Witherspoon a cunt, and jokes about egging her house.
Marines Try to Recruit
Drop and give me fifty.
The official site for United
93 has added two featurettes
Anti-Immigration Rally Targets
Five more clips from Basic
Instinct 2: Risk Addiction
This week in Unnecessary
FCC BANS ALL FOUR LETTER WORDS
ON TV ... Writers trying to avoid “your,”
“that,” “don’t” in dialogue to avoid multi-million dollar fines
"Hoping to cash in on Snakes
on a Plane hysteria through the year, New Line is also producing Sabre Tooth
Tigers on a Plane for release in October and, in a bid to capture a family
holiday audience, Penguins on a Plane for December release."
Saddam planned to deploy
'camels of mass destruction',
unfiltered kind. Silly as it seems, this is a real news item, not a spoof.
I love this guy!
The late night commercials of
lawyer Jim "The Hammer" Shapiro
- Of course he's a living legend. Just ask him.
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
Night Train to Terror (1985)
Night Train to Terror is a horror trilogy tied together with conversations
between God and Satan on a train. God and Satan are arguing over the souls of
the people in each of the stories. The train is headed for a wreck, with a
band in the next car, Satan's idea of fun. Given the quality of the one song
the band plays over and over, I am with Satan on this one.
The first story has been released as Marilyn Alive, or Behind Bars, or
Scream Your Head Off, and is about a bogus mental hospital that kidnaps and
drugs people, mostly women, then sells their body parts. A man is hypnotized
into helping them recruit victims and service the female partner. When they
forget his injection, he has a change of heart. Nifty little ending to this
one. Score one for God.
The second section, originally titled The Death Wish Club, has a young
woman led into porn by a ruthless character. When a man visits his old
fraternity and sees one of her films, he must have her. He tracks her down,
and wins her heart, but her keeper is loath to let her go. His solution? To
get them into his favorite game, where everyone puts themselves into a
near-death experience. True love wins out in the end. Score another for God.
The third tale is an excerpt from Cataclysm, which had already been
re-edited into Satan's Supper and The Nightmare that Never Ends. I don't know
if any of the edits of this one made a lot of sense, but this one is sketchy
at best, is full of bad effects, and has no nudity. A doctor is charged with
cutting out the heart of Satan's representative on earth, while her husband
has started the "God is dead" movement, and somehow, Satan's representative,
who never ages, was a kingpin in Nazi Germany, and is the target of an old
Jewish activist. She fails, but God cheats and grants them both mercy. Three
strikes, Satan, you are outta here.
In the first section, we have breast exposure from Lisa Watkins, Micki Anne
Corbin and Meredith Kennedy as victims, and full frontal from an unidentified
actress. Meredith Haze, as the women in the second tale, does full frontal and
rear nudity. All of these women have multiple credits at IMDb, but are all
actually for the same film in different incarnations.
IMDb readers have scored this 3.1, but there is no telling which version of
which film anyone voted on. I feel like the shortening of each part probably
helped this one, as there wasn't time for any segment to get too boring. The
few reviewers who have commented on this basically like it in the bad movie
sense. Based on the first 2/3, the score would have been higher, but I will
give the entire thing a C- as a bad movie.
Scoop's note: Check out the
IMDb page for the guy who plays Satan.
|Micki Anne Corbin
Pat's comments in yellow...
Randy Quaid is suing the producers of "Brokeback Mountain" for $10
million, claiming he was tricked into being underpaid for his role as the
suspicious foreman of the two gay cowboys. Quaid claims he accepted much lower
pay than he normally demands because he was told the movie was a low-budget art
house film that wouldn't be widely distributed and would make very little money.
Instead, it opened wide and has made over $80 million so far.
* He had no idea that the opening could be wide enough to
take in so much.
* Turns out all the cowboys in this movie got screwed.
* The producers say if Quaid had just asked for a piece of the back end, he
would've gotten it
* Seems he has 20/20 hindsight.
* He knew there was something funny about those producers, but he couldn't put
his finger on it.
The New York Post reports that a new tell-all book called "Barbra: The
Way She Is" will spill secrets Streisand doesn't want known. Among them: A long
list of men she's allegedly had affairs with, including Richard Gere, Tommy
Smothers, Steve McQueen and Prince Charles; that she's so cheap, workmen often
have to put liens on her property to get her to pay bills; that everyone in her
high school choir thought her half-sister was much
more talented; that she moves around a lot in concert because of fears a sniper
will assassinate her; and that ex-lover Sydney Chaplin used to insult her
onstage during performances of "Funny Girl" by whispering the word "Nose" into
* Prince Charles had an affair with Barbra Streisand? No
wonder he thinks Camilla looks good.