"The Erotic Adventures of Candy"

The Erotic Adventures of Candy (1978) is an absolute adult classic written and directed by Gail Palmer, and based on the novel Candide by Voltair. Naive Candy (Carol Connors) is a 20 year old virgin attending a college in Michigan. Her goal is to help mankind. Her strict father doesn't allow her to date, but the fun starts when she entices the Mexican gardener up to her room, and daddy catches them doing the deed. Daddy injures himself trying to do in the gardener, and, after her uncle tries to nail her in the hospital room next to her unconscious father, she heads for California. Once there, she finds several men to help, including John Holmes as a jogger, John Leslie as a gynecologist, and Paul Thomas as a guru.

The humor, and there is plenty of it, is rather dated. In one scene at the Ashram, Thomas is teaching Connors what the sex acts being committed by the various worshipers are. He points to one man giving head to another, and says that it is the "Anita Bryant Orange" position. I suspect not more than half of you readers will have any idea what that refers to. The lion's share of the sex and nudity is by Connors in this film. There are cameos by Georgina Spelvin as her oversexed aunt, and several actresses in the Ashram orgy scene, but they were really not worth the time to cap. Connors shows everything throughout the film with her ripe body taking on the biggest names (and cocks) in porn, yet maintains the innocent act from start to finish. They even manage a suitable ironic ending.

IMDB readers have this at 5.9 of 10, which is rather high for a hard core film there. The DVD is clearly mastered from a VHS tape, but is at least watchable. There are no features at all. Hard core is, of course, limited to no higher than a C+ in our rating system, as people that don't like nudity and sex in a film are not going to be won over by any sex film, no matter how good. Were this a better transfer, I would have to give this the full C+, but with the image quality, it is a C.

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  • Carol Connors (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    Mega volumes added today

    • New volumes: Judy Pace, Dira Paes, Svenja Pages, Cecile Pallas, Gretchen Palmer, Rebecca Palmer, Susan Pari, Cheryl Paris, Elizabeth Peña, Susan Penhaligon, Nathalie Perrey, Michelle Perry, Jenna Persaud, Essy Persson, Bernadette Peters, Summer Phoenix, Paloma Picasso, Cindy Pickett, Ingrid Pitt, Dana Plato, Sarah Jane Potts, Romina Power, Stefanie Powers, Moana Pozzi, Justine Priestly


    Other crap:

    What're the odds?

    Odds to win the Players Championship

    Sawgrass - Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida Mar 27 - Mar 30, 2003. Closing Date: Mar 27, 2003 08:30

    Bet Selections Win Odds
    Tiger Woods 2.2
    Vijay Singh 21.0
    Mike Weir 21.0
    Davis Love III 23.0
    Jim Furyk 26.0
    Retief Goosen 31.0
    Nick Price 36.0
    Jerry Kelly 36.0
    Justin Leonard 36.0
    Scott Hoch 41.0
    Padraig Harrington 41.0
    David Toms 41.0
    Charles Howell III 41.0
    Chris DiMarco 41.0
    Sergio Garcia 51.0
    John Huston 67.0
    Rocco Mediate 67.0
    Brad Faxon 67.0
    Bob Estes 67.0
    Kenny Perry 67.0
    Stewart Cink 67.0
    Tom Lehman 67.0
    Darren Clarke 67.0
    Kyoung Ju Choi 67.0
    Tim Herron 81.0
    Chad Campbell 81.0
    Adam Scott 81.0
    Jeff Sluman 81.0
    Scott Verplank 81.0
    Colin Montgomerie 81.0
    Mark Calcavecchia 81.0
    Robert Allenby 81.0
    Peter Lonard 81.0
    David Duval 81.0


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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
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    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    'Caps and comments by RDO:

    Here are a whole bunch of 'caps of Emmanuelle Béart from "La Belle noiseuse" (1991). The movie gives real meaning to the phrase "watching paint dry". The caps display M. Béart's assets rather nicely, I think, along with her appenectomy scar and what appears to be an implant scar surrounding the lower halves of her Areolae.

    'Caps and comments by Vejiita:

    The movie "Anarchy TV" (1997) is very cheesy but very funny, Alan Thicke is great in this movie and there's lots of nudity from Jessica and Tamayo, both show everything when they decide to get naked so people start watching their channel.

    • Jessica Hecht (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    • Tamayo Otsuki (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Next up, a few 'caps from the movie "The In Crowd".

    • Susan Ward, topless in deleted and non-deleted scenes. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    • Lori Heuring, showing a little nipple visible through a see-thru bra. (1, 2, 3)

    Aglaia Szyszkowitz Breast exposure in scenes from "Polizeiruf 110 - Die Gazelle" (1996).

    Jeanette Hain Full frontal nudity from "Abschied".

    Katrin Saß Very nice topless scenes from "Bis daß der Tod euch scheidet" aka "Until Death Do Us Part" (1979).

    Tina Ruland The German Heffer (March '88) topless in scenes from "Vier Küsse und eine E-mail".

    Ute Christensen Breasts and bum in scenes from "Tatort - Peggy hat Angst" (1983).

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Plus A $10 Box Of Cereal - Police in Englewood, Colorado, are searching for Andrew Mucci, 42, on suspicion of stealing more than $12,000 in cash and merchandise from a 7-11. Mucci worked there, and after the first night he was left to run the store alone, his manager came in and found it deserted. He had allegedly hauled off 1,938 packs of cigarettes, $1,200 worth of phone cards, 643 lottery tickets, 15 cell phones and $1,500 in cash. Police said, "The whole caper is on videotape. His whole shift he spends drinking beer and gathering things to steal. It's unreal."

  • Usually, the overnight guy just drinks beer.
  • They'll catch him when he returns to the store to cash in his winning lottery tickets.
  • He enjoys robbing convenience stores...It's so convenient.
  • He can forget about getting a good reference when he applies for a job at the Stop 'N' Go!

    Invented By Arthur Itis - An Australian company is about to market a new bra called "The Arthritis Bra." Instead of closing in the back with tiny hooks, it opens and closes in the front with Velcro, to make it easier for women with arthritis to dress and undress.

  • So guys, if you have trouble undoing a woman's bra, just date women with arthritis!
  • ALL women should get these.
  • It was developed by some nerdy lab researchers who never could undo a regular bra.

    Unpleasantville - A couple in Pleasantville, New York, allegedly played a bizarre game that got out of hand. Police say the husband was blindfolded and handcuffed when the wife stabbed him in the chest with a paring knife. He finally convinced her that he needed to go to the hospital, but in the parking lot, she stabbed him again, and they were arguing so loudly, someone called 911. The husband needed surgery, and the wife tried to flee but was caught and held without bail.

  • Just another day in Pleasantville.
  • She didn't want bail anyway...She likes being in handcuffs.

    Me And You And A Hog Named Boo - Michael Moore is trying to spin his disastrous Oscar speech. At first, he told Roger Ebert to "tell the truth, there were only five people booing." Ebert told him the truth was, there were a lot more. So last night, he told CNN's Aaron Brown that a few people in the back booed him, and all the other boos were people in front booing them for booing him.

  • To believe that, you'd have to swallow a lot of boos.
  • He's the champion of the little guy, but he blames all the booing on the oafs in the cheap seats?
  • Next, he'll claim they mistook him for Bruce Springsteen and they were really shouting, "Brooooooooooooce!"
  • How does he explain the millions of people booing at their TVs?