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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Junior is heading back on a plane from Amsterdam as I write this, so I'm the
Temporary Daily Kahuna again today. I hope it will be only one day this time.
Read on an internet bulletin board:
"If you HATE Britney Spears....here's your
chance to see her getting booed in London England. You must have Real Player to
see this video at the link below....."
I liked Romeo is
Bleeding far better than Tuna did, but I just love those 1940's noir films,
and this is a perfect update, except in color.
Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded
into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined
there might be something of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or
Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.
"European Vacation" from Tuna
European Vacation (1985) is being released next week in a pristine anamorphic
Widescreen DVD with commentary. This marks the last of the 4 D'Angelo/Chase
vacation films to arrive on DVD. I am fond of all of them. Vegas Vacation is my
least favorite, but the other three are about equal to me. Not every scene is
hilarious, but there are more than enough great comedic moments in each film to
make them a great watch. In this one, the Griswalds accidently win a family quiz
show, Pig in a Poke, and are sent on a whirlwind 4 countries in 14 days European
Tour. Audry doesn't want to leave her boyfriend, Rusty wants to get laid, Ellen
is hoping for some romantic time with Clark, and Clark wants to see every single
landmark and museum in England, German, France and Italy.
As they are packing, Clark films Ellen doing a strip, and D'Angelo shows the
side of a breast (collage #2). When the video camera is stolen with the footage Clark
promised to erase, it turns up on a billboard for an Italian porno. Rusty is
about to get lucky in Germany with Claudia Neidig, who has bared her breasts,
when Clark picks a fight with some Bavarian dancers, who want to lynch him.
There are also some topless aerobic dancers at the club Clark takes Ellen to (to
see French culture).
IMDB readers say 5.1 of 10. The genre is Chevy Chase comedy. If you hate them,
this one won't change your mind, but if you enjoy him, than this is a good one.
"Attack of the 50 ft Woman" from Tuna
Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman (1993 TV movie) stars Daryl Hannah, but don't get
your hopes up, she stayed decent the entire boring film. A flying saucer turns
Daryl in a 50 foot tall woman, which eventually gives her the nerve to get even
with all of those who have made fun of her, most notably her husband and her
father. The exposure is from Cristi Conaway, who shows buns and the side of a
breast getting out of bed. The IMDB rating of 3.3 of 10 is about right for this
weak offering. The plot is juvinile, the performances weak, and the entire film
was undersaturated. I give it a D.
Scoop, Not sure if I sent these before anyway,
here are the final scenes of "Girls are for Loving" as Jocelyn Peters is
tied down stark naked.
And Ursula Andress topless in 1978's "Slave of the
|Lae de Mae
|collage of porn star Lae de la Mae.|
|Heidi Fleiss, from the sensitive screen documentary, Heidi
Fleiss, Hollywood Madam. I don't seem to remember this winning any Oscars.|
|This is a comparison of Jen's appearance at the last two
Oscars. It breaks your heart to look at her. I guess you all noticed that she
doesn't look very healthy. We all hope that this is some planned strategy on her
part, or preparation for some role, and not a sign of some illness.
||In, "Original Sin".
The ten times when using the "f" word was
10. "What the @#$% was that?" - Mayor Of
9. "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come
from?"- Custer, 1877
8. "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that." -
7. "It does so @#$%ing look like her!" -
6. "How the @#$% did you work that out?" -
Pythagoras, 126 BC
5. "You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?" -
4. "Where the @#$% are we?" - Amelia Earhart,
3. "Scattered @#$%ing showers....My ass!" -
Noah, 4314 BC
2. "Aw c'mon. Who the @#$% is going to find
out?" - Bill Clinton, 1999
And .. . . drum roll . . .
1. "Geez, I didn't think they'd get this @%#*^ing
mad." - Osama bin Laden, November 2001
Gossip and News
and Halle Berry's
Oscar wins, black actors working in Britain have complained that their
opportunity for similar success is bleak and that institutional racism is
rampant in their industry. In interviews with Britain's Guardian
newspaper, they noted that not only has no black British actor ever received a
BAFTA ward for a leading role, blacks are never even cast in a romantic lead
role and are generally relegated to gangster parts. Actor
told the newspaper: "Hopefully, these Oscars will mark a sea change in the
British attitude that a black lead will not 'sell' a film abroad. ... The U.S.
has huge race problems, but at least in the U.S. culture everyone gets a chance.
Here, we are sidelined and insulted.
AOL Time Warner will take a goodwill writedown of
$54 billion in the first quarter -- the largest in corporate history -- to
reflect the plunging value of its assets since the Internet bubble popped. When
AOL announced its acquisition of Time Warner in January 2000 the two companies
had a combined worth of $290 billion. They are now valued at $111 billion.