This is SPAAAR-TA!

Our movie description is here, for those of you who have just been released from POW camps in the past fifteen minutes.

Lena Headey


Kelly Craig


some Persian chick





Les Anges Exterminateurs

Charlie covered this yesterday. I didn't order a Region 2 DVD because it's about thirty bucks and it doesn't seem to have any English sub-titles. Given that it's an intellectualized view of female pleasure, and that my command of French stops at "Frere Jacques," I think I'll hold off until there's a Region 1 offering.

Here are the critical summaries.

Here are the film clips:


* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.







Men of War

Men of War (1994), if you believe everything I could find written about it, is either Dolph Lundren's best film ever, with great action, a fantastic cast, wonderful photography and an intelligent script, or a mindless, implausible, lackluster actioner. Dolph is a former soldier of fortune, lured out of retirement because a former commanding officer wants him to take a job. We find out why later. He is to form a team, go to a South Sea Island, and convince the natives to cooperate with two US capitalists. In what, Dolph is not told. He and his team surmise that the treasure must be jade.

The team assembled, they make an R&R stop before heading to the island, and end up adding Catherine Bell to the team, after one of the oddest fist fights in film history. After a bar brawl, the man in charge, who happens to be an old enemy of Lundgren, shows up and intends to throw them all in jail for five years. Dolph entices him to fight one-on-one. He agrees, but explains a special rule. Every time Dolph hits him, he kills one of his men.

Once on the island, they don't find the hostiles they were expecting, but rather a gentle people, including B. D. Wong, who was hilarious, and Charlotte Lewis, daughter of a pilot who crashed there and never left but married a local woman. The playful natives elect not to accept the capitalists offer. Dolph meets his bosses on the ship, and discovers that they are not after jade at all, but bird and bat shit, the mining of which will destroy the island forever. He decides he is on the side of the natives, especially when he finds that his old commanding officer owns a third of the mining company. He gives his troops a choice. Some stay, some leave, but return with an invading army to take the island.

IMDb readers say 4.8, reduced from 5.9 with the secret formula. Critics were quick to denigrate this film, but a legion of viewers have left mostly positive comments. Thailand played the part of a South Sea Island, and did a wonderful job. I ended up on the side of those who think this is Dolph's best film ever. Granted, that is not a very high bar to clear, but he showed more range than usual, the supporting cast was fun, there was a strong love story, there were plenty of bad guys, and not all of the twists and turns were obvious. Lets call this a C-.

Scoop's note: As bad as this movie is, I have to admit that it is really fun to watch. Think of it as Road House in the tropics. Or, perhaps more appropriately, think of it in terms of Bill Shatner's version of Rocket Man, in that it's either the stupidest fuckin' thing you've ever seen, or sheer genius. Given the intellect of John Sayles, one of the co-writers, there's probably a bit more than a hint of mad genius in this film!

One reviewer got it exactly right:

"Dumb ... but entertaining. Dolph Lundgren's got a rocket launcher. Charlotte Lewis has a great body. And B.D. Wong is hilarious. Bring snacks. Turn off brain. Enjoy."


Charlotte Lewis shows breasts in two scenes, one in clear daylight.



Two hookers show pokies during the R&R visit.

Another island girl shows breasts bathing.











Emmanuelle 5, day 3

Believe it or not we still have more caps and six more clips of Monique Gabrielle  in Emmanuelle 5. Monique is really getting it on and you can even play the "spot the tool" game.







The Dukes of Hazzard 2

This prequel focuses on Bo Duke (Jonathan Bennett) and Luke Duke (Randy Wayne), teenagers here and in legal trouble within moments of the opening credits. When they're arrested by the cops, they're sentenced to work on their Uncle Jesse's (Willie Nelson) farm, where he makes moonshine.

However, Jesse himself is in trouble with Boss Hogg (Christopher McDonald), who is demanding more money to look the other way from Jesse's illegal business. When Luke and Bo accidentally injure Boss Hogg's prize hog, he demands the money sooner than later, or he'll foreclose on the farm. Daisy (April Scott), a wallflower at this point, decides to take a job at the Boar's Nest and falls for the new bartender. Meanwhile, Bo and Luke have found the General Lee and try to figure out a way to keep the farm from going under.

I didn't like the movie, but is well worth watching for April Scott. She is smokin' hot. I can't believe the director didn't make her lose her clothes. I read somewhere that she is willing to do nudity, so whoever decided not to ask her to do it here should burn in hell. But probably was because they are incompetents, because Jennifer Hill didn't do nudity in this film either and she did in the indy film "Ten till Noon" that I capped not long ago.


April Scott



Casey Durkin and Carrie Minter



Jennifer Hill and Trishelle Cannatella



Jennifer Hill



Trishelle Cannatella



Locker Room




Sherilyn Fenn











Notes and collages

"Farscape" - Part 15

Season 3, Ep 4-7

Claudia Black, S3, E4

Claudia Black, S3, E5

Claudia Black, S3, E6

Tammy McIntosh, S3, E4

Tammy McIntosh, S3, E5

Tammy McIntosh, S3, E6

Tammy McIntosh, S3, E7

Gigi Edgley and Tammy McIntosh, S3, E5

Gigi Edgley and Tammy McIntosh, S3, E6

Gigi Edgley, S3, E6






Andrea Bogart in Dark Ride (film clip)
Rachel Shelley and Sandrine Holt in L Word, S4, E10 (film clip)
Mr Skin's take on last week's incredible episode of Rome ... Zuleikha Robinson
Rome ... Alice Henley
Rome ... Noa Bodner
Rome ... Lyndsey Marshall

Pat's comments in yellow...

Thursday on Hollywood Boulevard, Batman was arrested.  A street performer who dresses as Batman for tourist photos used a portable toilet rented by striking union workers. They protested, an argument ensued, and Batman reportedly got aggressive, removed his cape and
started daring them to fight.  The Jimmy Kimmel Show, which films next door, got video of the cops handcuffing Batman, putting him in the back of a patrol car, and taking him away.

*  To find out what happened to him, tune in tomorrow!  Same Bat-time, Same Bat-channel! 

The London Daily Mail claims that Tom Jones was warned by a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon that after years of eyelifts, chin tucks and other work, if he has any more done, his face might collapse.  Jones explained that the doctor told him, "'You've got to be careful with your eyes.' He advised me against having anything else done.  He said I should try to look as natural as I can."

*  The only way he can still do that is to stand next to Michael Jackson. 



Victor "Macho Man" Willis, the former cop from the Village People, was arrested again in San Diego after his girlfriend complained that he'd choked and threatened her

* The most shocking part of the story: one of the Village People has a GIRLFRIEND!