Stealing Candy (2002) is a low budget straight to vid thriller. It has played overseas, but the US video release is the end of this month. Candy (Jenya Lano) is a popular actress known for sexy roles, but has refused to show any skin. Alex McArthur hatches a plan. Together with Daniel Baldwin as an ex con and computer wiz, and Coolio as the muscle, they will kidnap her, and blackmail her into having sex on the Internet, $10.00/access.
About the only thing this has going for it is the few plot twists, and breasts and buns from Lano, so I won't spoil the plot. IMDb readers have it at 3.7 of 10, which is just a tad harsh. True, the acting is not that good, and the plot is a little thin, but it is professionally shot and edited, and the scheme is somewhat believable. The film hasn't hurt Lano's career, as she has three projects from 2003, and two currently in production. I will give this a low C-. If you don't try to outthink the story, it is reasonably entertaining.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
The House of Sand and Fog (2003):
This was a strange one. Many American critics hailed
this film as a masterpiece, but the British critics were left
uniformly unimpressed - average score less than 2.5 stars out of
four, many one-and-a-halves, no score as high as 3.5 stars.
Ben Kingsley plays Behrani, a former colonel in the Persian army
during the Shah's reign. He is a proud man who is deceiving his
family into thinking he has a good, dignified job. In reality, he
was two menial jobs, but changes into a clean suit before he goes
home. One day, he sees a public notice for a repossessed property
auction, follows through, and is able to buy a beachfront house for
$45,000. This is the key to his financial stability. He plans to
sell it immediately, using the profit to play for his son's
education and other necessities, as well as to upgrade the status of
Jennifer Connelly is Kathy Nicolo, a
recovering addict whose husband deserted her. Like Colonel Behrani,
she is also lying to her family. Her mother thinks she is still
married, and knows nothing of her problems. Those problems escalate
ten fold when she is evicted from her house for non-payment of a tax
she never owed in the first place. Before she can resolve matters
legally, the state has sold her home at public auction.
... to Colonel Behrani.
The conflict is thus established. The
state is willing to do the right thing and give the colonel his
$45,000 back, thus returning the house to Kathy, but the colonel
insists quite correctly that he is the legal owner of a piece of
property worth four times that amount, and he refuses to sell.
Kathy's lawyer can sue the state for compensation for their error,
but that could take months, or years, while Kathy is sleeping in her
A melodrama is set into action, one
which will ultimately result in one murder, and four attempted
suicides, two of them successful. And that is only among the four
main characters (the colonel, his wife, his son, and Kathy)! Three
of the four end up dead, and the other ends up alive despite two
suicide attempts. Along the way, various other lives are destroyed.
A local cop falls in love with Kathy even as he evicts her, and that
situation destroys his life, and his family's happiness.
Your basic feel-good movie!
It is pure melodrama in the 1950s
fashion. Jennifer Connelly has now replaced Susan Hayward and
Juliette Binoche as the cinema's official suffering woman. She makes
her living either by being in tears, or by looking like she's about to
be. Her veil of tears is clouded still further by fog-shrouded
cinematography and turgid background music.
I like to think that human beings can almost always settle
disputes of this nature without everyone dying and waving pistols at
one another, which leaves this film in the category of contrived
melodrama rather than social realism.
The film had some pretensions toward meaningful
social commentary, but is basically a thriller for the cry-of-the-month crowd.
That's a relatively small audience these days, as evidenced by the
$12 million gross, but if you
like that sort of thing, it is very well done. The characterization
is intricate and complex. The script is sympathetic to both sides in
the dispute. The acting is top drawer.
- Jennifer Connelly (1,
President Bush won't release his daily briefing for Aug 6, 2001,
because he fucked up big-time on the bin Laden advice. No, just
kidding. He's claiming "executive privilege" to protect the
privacy of future Presidents. Yeah, that's the ticket.
"'gancing' - the guy-on-guy dancing trend that's supposedly
sweeping the clubs - was a hoax cooked up by an editor at Stuff
magazine." Oh, man, now I have to return my copy of Dirty
Gancing 2: Frisco Nights.
Senate Votes to Make Harming a Fetus a Crime : "The Senate
voted Thursday to make it a separate crime to harm a fetus during
commission of a violent federal crime, a victory for those seeking
to expand the legal rights of the unborn. " (It's a slippery
backdoor anti-abortion law)
Flamboyant fitness guru Richard Simmons was cited by authorities
for allegedly slapping a 255-pound Harley-Davidson salesman who
was poking fun at his exercise videos
- This week's movies:
Scooby Doo 2 is running 11% positive from the major critics
- This week's movies:
The Ladykillers is running about 50-50 at Rotten Tomatoes
-> Jackazz.nl <- For The Finest Ass
Jon Stewart looks at presidential elections in Asia
- The trailer from
Close Your Eyes . Hypotherapist Dr Michael Strother has a
dangerous gift; he gets flashes from inside of his patients’
minds. While trying to help a detective, he sees an image of a
young girl floating below the surface of a stream. He is soon
caught up in the detective’s pursuit of a ritualistic killer who
believes he has found the secret of immortality. Now only Michael
can help release her memories, and provide a clue to the
whereabouts of the killer.
- The trailer for
Stateside . "Stateside" follows the fortunes of an outlaw rich
kid who lands in the Marine Corps to be trained by a hard Drill
Instructor. While the kid is on leave, he meets and falls in love
with a young popular entertainer whose love then endures hardships
and ultimate victory. Rachael Leigh Cook, Jonathan Tucker, Val
Kilmer, Agnes Bruckner, Carrie Fisher, Joe Mantegna
- Some new clips from
Other Crap "Pornolized"
Will Tom DeLay have to step down?
Color TV sets mark 50th anniversary. The first sets sold for
$1000 - (more than $4000 in today's dollars).
The Clear Channel Controversy, Why Howard Stern's Woes Are Your
:: MAXIM ONLINE :: Fallacy Baseball. Works like fantasy
baseball except you score points for errors, caight stealing,
batter strikeouts, pitcher losses, blown saves, and the like
Kobe Bryant, accuser face each other in courtroom
'Spider-Man 6', anyone?
The 50 greatest rock music artists , as picked by Rolling
The Color of Money -- Campaign Contributions in Detail
40 things every drunkard should do before he dies.
Man foils robbery with a sledgehammer
- This Finance Asia headline may
not indicate what you're thinking of ...
"Misys gives Pecker head job"
Toilets of the World
- URL says it all:
The Daily Show asks, "Richard Clarke: 30 year political veteran or
jealous, bitter piece of pond scum?"
Students Fight For More Time To Sleep: "Every Tuesday after
school, the Power Nap Club meets at Bellevue's International
SARAH JESSICA PARKER PLACED IN TIME CAPSULE, LAUNCHED INTO OUTER
SPACE. My Work Here is Done, Actress Says
Kirstie Alley hits 301 lbs
Fan suckles Courtney Love's breast
Genital piercings for women were banned by the Georgia House
Wednesday as lawmakers considered a bill outlining punishments
for female genital mutilation.
Censorship or not - the debate, retrocrush style
Backyard Wrestling Girl Files Lawsuit: Miller Lite Catfight
actress Kitana Baker is seeking $1 million for misuse of her
likeness in video games.
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
Various quick peeks
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
- Susan Sarandon, topless in sex scenes from the 1990 movie "White Palace".
- Sonia Braga, the Brazilian actress (and one of the most-often-nude-on-screen women in main stream cinema) baring all 3 B's in scenes from "Eu Te Amo" aka "I Love You" (1981).
Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.
'Caps, comments and .wmv by DB:
The problem with most Nekkid Opera is that the nudity is left to the un-named extras, but today we have a quite attractive (and thin) leading lady.
From a performance of 'Die Schone Galathee', a one act comic opera by Franz Von Suppe with Carola Nossek in the title role. It's a story of a sculptor who falls in love with his statue (as does his assistant and his patron).
The performance only lasts some 58 minutes and Mss Nossek was exposed for at least 15 minutes.
I trust that the caps are very rare - 70's German TV - opus justice.
Also, here are 2 short .wmvs. The first is the high spot of Mss Nossek's performance.
- Carola Nossek, nekkid opera 'caps.
- Carola Nossek, nekkid opera .wmvs
'Caps and comments by Dann:
I never quite figured out the point of this movie. It's a look at superficial people living superficial lives culminating in a superficial ending. No one is likeable, and at the end you wind up asking yourself "so what?". Considering the outstanding cast, I found it disappointing.
The 2002 drama tells of corporate espionage, corporate moles, deception and trickery, and violence. Revolving around the possible sale of a web site, it is presented in French, Japanese, and English, although the main language is French with English sub-titles for the French and Japanese dialog.
|No nudity here, but she is still one of the "hottest...women...ever".
I know Alba fans will appreciate getting to see her all sweaty and wearing skimpy outfits without actually having to rent the DVD of her latest movie, "Honey" (currently #68 in the IMDb bottom 100).
||The Skinemax babe who many of us have seen in classics like "Wild Malibu Weekend" and "The Sexperiment" to name a few. Here she is baring breasts and a thon view in scenes from "Knocking on Death's Door" (1999). 'Caps by Flautista.
|The Italian mega-babe and co-star of "The Matrix" sequels bares all in scenes from excellent Italian film "Malèna" (2000). 'Caps by the Skin-man.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
FIFTY YEARS OF TATER TOTS
Want Fries With That? - Ore-Ida is celebrating the 50th birthday of the Tater
Tot. The seasoned, shredded potato globs were invented in 1954 as a way to
use potatoes left over from Ore-Ida's french fry business. They became a
favorite comfort food, and Americans ate 70 million pounds of them last year. Most
people just eat them with ketchup, but some get creative. Ore-Ida sponsors a
Tot recipe contest, and some past winners include Tater Tot Crab Melt and
Tater Tot Pizza, with mashed Tater Tot crust.
If you eat like that, good luck living to YOUR 50th birthday.
School cafeterias will mark the occasion by serving 50-year-old Tater Tots.
You are what you eat, and Americans eat globs of starch.
Potato left over from making Tater Tots is used to make wood glue.
SIMON COWELL DENIES SHOOTING FINGER
Fickle Finger Of Fate - In an unaccustomed turnaround, "American Idol" judge
Simon Cowell found himself on the defensive Wednesday, after the FCC got a few
complaints. On Tuesday's show, as Paula Abdul attacked one of his
criticisms, he leaned his head on his right hand with his middle finger extended.
Cowell insisted that he was just leaning on his hand, he never even thought about
what fingers were up or down, and "I certainly would never make a gesture like
that toward Paula or on national television."
She might make it towards HIM...
But he did make the gesture towards the FCC.
Now that Howard Stern is gone, the FCC is really hunting for something to
That entire "country music" episode was like giving the finger to
ENRIQUE CLAIMS WORLD'S SMALLEST PENIS
His Sex Is Symbolic - Britain's Sun tabloid asked sex symbol Enrique Iglesias
if he would ever appear naked on an album cover. He nixed the idea, saying,
"Maybe if you had the biggest penis in the world, you would sell records. But
I don't. I could actually have the smallest penis in the world out there."
Saying that took a lot of...Well, no, I guess it didn't.
He can carry a stack of about three CDs on it.
Don't worry: the record company will use PhotoShop and give him the
I think we need to check with Clay Aiken before we award the title.