"Stealing Candy"

Stealing Candy (2002) is a low budget straight to vid thriller. It has played overseas, but the US video release is the end of this month. Candy (Jenya Lano) is a popular actress known for sexy roles, but has refused to show any skin. Alex McArthur hatches a plan. Together with Daniel Baldwin as an ex con and computer wiz, and Coolio as the muscle, they will kidnap her, and blackmail her into having sex on the Internet, $10.00/access.

About the only thing this has going for it is the few plot twists, and breasts and buns from Lano, so I won't spoil the plot. IMDb readers have it at 3.7 of 10, which is just a tad harsh. True, the acting is not that good, and the plot is a little thin, but it is professionally shot and edited, and the scheme is somewhat believable. The film hasn't hurt Lano's career, as she has three projects from 2003, and two currently in production. I will give this a low C-. If you don't try to outthink the story, it is reasonably entertaining.

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  • Jenya Lano (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    The House of Sand and Fog (2003):

    This was a strange one. Many American critics hailed this film as a masterpiece, but the British critics were left uniformly unimpressed - average score less than 2.5 stars out of four, many one-and-a-halves, no score as high as 3.5 stars.


    Ben Kingsley plays Behrani, a former colonel in the Persian army during the Shah's reign. He is a proud man who is deceiving his family into thinking he has a good, dignified job. In reality, he was two menial jobs, but changes into a clean suit before he goes home. One day, he sees a public notice for a repossessed property auction, follows through, and is able to buy a beachfront house for $45,000. This is the key to his financial stability. He plans to sell it immediately, using the profit to play for his son's education and other necessities, as well as to upgrade the status of his family.

    Jennifer Connelly is Kathy Nicolo, a recovering addict whose husband deserted her. Like Colonel Behrani, she is also lying to her family. Her mother thinks she is still married, and knows nothing of her problems. Those problems escalate ten fold when she is evicted from her house for non-payment of a tax she never owed in the first place. Before she can resolve matters legally, the state has sold her home at public auction.

    ... to Colonel Behrani.

    The conflict is thus established. The state is willing to do the right thing and give the colonel his $45,000 back, thus returning the house to Kathy, but the colonel insists quite correctly that he is the legal owner of a piece of property worth four times that amount, and he refuses to sell. Kathy's lawyer can sue the state for compensation for their error, but that could take months, or years, while Kathy is sleeping in her car.

    A melodrama is set into action, one which will ultimately result in one murder, and four attempted suicides, two of them successful. And that is only among the four main characters (the colonel, his wife, his son, and Kathy)! Three of the four end up dead, and the other ends up alive despite two suicide attempts. Along the way, various other lives are destroyed. A local cop falls in love with Kathy even as he evicts her, and that situation destroys his life, and his family's happiness.

    Your basic feel-good movie!

    It is pure melodrama in the 1950s fashion. Jennifer Connelly has now replaced Susan Hayward and Juliette Binoche as the cinema's official suffering woman. She makes her living either by being in tears, or by looking like she's about to be. Her veil of tears is clouded still further by fog-shrouded cinematography and turgid background music.

    I like to think that human beings can almost always settle disputes of this nature without everyone dying and waving pistols at one another, which leaves this film in the category of contrived melodrama rather than social realism.

    The film had some pretensions toward meaningful social commentary, but is basically a thriller for the cry-of-the-month crowd. That's a relatively small audience these days, as evidenced by the $12 million gross, but if you like that sort of thing, it is very well done. The characterization is intricate and complex. The script is sympathetic to both sides in the dispute. The acting is top drawer.

    • Jennifer Connelly (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)




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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.


    Various quick peeks


    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    Graphic Response
    • Susan Sarandon, topless in sex scenes from the 1990 movie "White Palace".

    • Sonia Braga, the Brazilian actress (and one of the most-often-nude-on-screen women in main stream cinema) baring all 3 B's in scenes from "Eu Te Amo" aka "I Love You" (1981).

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    'Caps, comments and .wmv by DB:

    The problem with most Nekkid Opera is that the nudity is left to the un-named extras, but today we have a quite attractive (and thin) leading lady.

    From a performance of 'Die Schone Galathee', a one act comic opera by Franz Von Suppe with Carola Nossek in the title role. It's a story of a sculptor who falls in love with his statue (as does his assistant and his patron).

    The performance only lasts some 58 minutes and Mss Nossek was exposed for at least 15 minutes.

    I trust that the caps are very rare - 70's German TV - opus justice.

    Also, here are 2 short .wmvs. The first is the high spot of Mss Nossek's performance.


    • Carola Nossek, nekkid opera 'caps. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
    • Carola Nossek, nekkid opera .wmvs (1, 2)

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    I never quite figured out the point of this movie. It's a look at superficial people living superficial lives culminating in a superficial ending. No one is likeable, and at the end you wind up asking yourself "so what?". Considering the outstanding cast, I found it disappointing.

    The 2002 drama tells of corporate espionage, corporate moles, deception and trickery, and violence. Revolving around the possible sale of a web site, it is presented in French, Japanese, and English, although the main language is French with English sub-titles for the French and Japanese dialog.

    Jessica Alba
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    No nudity here, but she is still one of the "hottest...women...ever".

    I know Alba fans will appreciate getting to see her all sweaty and wearing skimpy outfits without actually having to rent the DVD of her latest movie, "Honey" (currently #68 in the IMDb bottom 100).

    Kimberly Rowe The Skinemax babe who many of us have seen in classics like "Wild Malibu Weekend" and "The Sexperiment" to name a few. Here she is baring breasts and a thon view in scenes from "Knocking on Death's Door" (1999). 'Caps by Flautista.

    Monica Bellucci
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)

    The Italian mega-babe and co-star of "The Matrix" sequels bares all in scenes from excellent Italian film "Malèna" (2000). 'Caps by the Skin-man.

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Want Fries With That? - Ore-Ida is celebrating the 50th birthday of the Tater Tot. The seasoned, shredded potato globs were invented in 1954 as a way to use potatoes left over from Ore-Ida's french fry business. They became a favorite comfort food, and Americans ate 70 million pounds of them last year. Most people just eat them with ketchup, but some get creative. Ore-Ida sponsors a Tot recipe contest, and some past winners include Tater Tot Crab Melt and Tater Tot Pizza, with mashed Tater Tot crust.

  • If you eat like that, good luck living to YOUR 50th birthday.
  • School cafeterias will mark the occasion by serving 50-year-old Tater Tots.
  • You are what you eat, and Americans eat globs of starch.
  • Potato left over from making Tater Tots is used to make wood glue.

    Fickle Finger Of Fate - In an unaccustomed turnaround, "American Idol" judge Simon Cowell found himself on the defensive Wednesday, after the FCC got a few complaints. On Tuesday's show, as Paula Abdul attacked one of his criticisms, he leaned his head on his right hand with his middle finger extended. Cowell insisted that he was just leaning on his hand, he never even thought about what fingers were up or down, and "I certainly would never make a gesture like that toward Paula or on national television."

  • She might make it towards HIM...
  • But he did make the gesture towards the FCC.
  • Now that Howard Stern is gone, the FCC is really hunting for something to do.
  • That entire "country music" episode was like giving the finger to Nashville.

    His Sex Is Symbolic - Britain's Sun tabloid asked sex symbol Enrique Iglesias if he would ever appear naked on an album cover. He nixed the idea, saying, "Maybe if you had the biggest penis in the world, you would sell records. But I don't. I could actually have the smallest penis in the world out there."

  • Saying that took a lot of...Well, no, I guess it didn't.
  • He can carry a stack of about three CDs on it.
  • Don't worry: the record company will use PhotoShop and give him the world's biggest.
  • I think we need to check with Clay Aiken before we award the title.