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To see and use all the Funhouse features, you need Netscape 6.+ or MSIE 5.+.

Congrats to the Official Fun House babe, Jennifer Connelly for winning the Best Supporting Actress award. We also say congratulations to Halle Berry for winning Best Actress. I think Halle sets an excellent example to other actresses in Hollywood....take chances and do more explicit nude scenes!

Here are the big winners from the seemingly never-ending 74th Academy Awards:

Best Picture: "A Beautiful Mind"
Best Director: Ron Howard for ""A Beautiful Mind"
Best Actor: Denzel Washington for "Training Day"
Best Actress: Halle Berry for "Monster's Ball"
Best Supporting Actor: Jim Broadbent for "Iris"
Best Supporting Actress: Jennifer Connelly for "A Beautiful Mind"

A few vidcaps and pics...

"Last Wedding"

Last Wedding (2001) is a Canadian film studying the deterioration of three marriages. Frida Betrani and Benjamin Ratner are to be married after knowing each other for 6 months. She is supposed to be a country singer, and he is a manager at a siding sales company. They are clearly in lust, but nobody thinks they are ready for marriage except them. They turn out to be monumentally incompatible. Vincent Gale is an architect with strong retro views on what should be done to preserve architectural styles and the flavor of a city. Molly Parker is about to graduate, and wants a job designing buildings, and making lots of money. It is clear even at the beginning that the two are headed for conflicts. Tom Scholte is a college literature professor, who is no longer fascinated by his conservative librarian wife, Nancy Sivak. All six are friends, living in Vancouver.

Betrani turns out to be a dismal singer, not very bright, really pushy, a slob, and spends all day every day watching Soaps. It is clear this is going to be a short marriage. The job disagreements between Gale and Parker drive them apart after she joins a firm that represents everything he is against. Sholte has an affair with a student, Marya Delver which causes his break-up.

Betrani shows breasts while getting dressed for the wedding, and Delver shows breasts and possibly pubes in a sex scene in an alley behind a dumpster. IMDB readers say 6.3 of 10. It won several Canadian awards and nominations. Critical response is favorable, and the film is technically excellent. It is a fresh look at the battle of the sexes, which deserves credit, and has more humor than the average character driven drama. I think the romantic comedy crowd, the character driven drama folks, and those interested in relationships will all enjoy this, so the proper score is probably B-.

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  • Frida Betrani (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
  • Marya Delver (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    "Touch Me"

    Touch Me (1997) is a soap opera about AIDS. Normally, I would soundly trash any film that was produced to be like a Soap, but, in this case, it can't be dismissed that quickly. The director was trying to present two things. First, he wanted to explore what being HIV positive is really like for a hetero woman. Second, he wanted to show that the gay community has been there for AIDS victims, without regard to sexual orientation, age, sex, color or creed. He accomplished both. The cast was also a pleasant surprise. Amanda Peet plays a young actress who teaches yoga in a health spa as a day job, and has just landed a choice role in a play. Kari Wuhrer has a short role as her roommate, who bales as soon as Peet tells her about being HIV positive. Peet has just slept with Michael Vartan, the owner of the spa, and is hoping for a lasting relationship, when she finds that her ex boyfriend is dying of AIDS.

    Peet is tested, and proves to be HIV positive. She goes to tell Vartan, and finds him wet from a shower, and with him is his ex girlfriend, Jennifer Loto who stopped in unannounced, and jumped naked into the shower with him, only to be turned down. Peet believes the worst. Former Olympic diver Greg Luganis has a small role as an AIDS counselor. The rest of the film deals with a love story (Vartan Wants to be with Peet anyway), and deals with the effect of AIDS on several people, including Erica Gimpel as a black single mother who has to deal with setting things up for those she loves before her death. Gimpel did an excellent job with the part.

    The only exposure was from Loto, who shows a nearly perfect pair of breasts. The IMDB rating is 6.1 of 10. While I would have preferred a less soap-like approach, the film did have a lot to say, and said it effectively. It made the point that HIV positive is now more of a health maintenance issue than a death warrant now, and that the reaction of so-called friends is a serious problem for victims. I will have to give this a C+.

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  • Jennifer Loto (1, 2, 3, 4)

    "Naughty Stewardesses"

    Naughty Stewardesses (1974) is a couples soft-core/titty flick, but not a typical one. In this case, the plot has little to do with their occupation, and does not directly concern their love and lust. The four stews live together. Connie Hoffman is the newest member of the crew, having just dropped out of college to become a stewardess. Donna Desmond, Syndey Jordan, and Tracy King round out the group. Mikel James appears in a gratuitous scene to up the tit count. Of the group, only King (The Kentucky Fried Movie / Tender Loving Care / Hospital of Terror) had much of a career.

    Hoffman meets an older man on a flight, and ends up at his Palm Springs home. She also meets a photographer/cab driver in San Francisco, and ends up posing for him. Let me try to get through the rest of this quickly. All of the girls meet the older man, and end up at least topless with him. The photographer comes to LA to see Hoffman again, and takes a job with King's boyfriend shooting porno. He hatches a plot to get even with Hoffman and the older man by kidnapping the girls, and holding them for ransom.

    Nudity breakdown:

    James: Breasts and buns in a gratuitous sex scene with the older man.
    Hoffman: Breasts posing for the photographer, and again after being kidnapped
    King: Breasts doing a strip dance at pool side.
    Desmond: Breasts and buns in a scene involving the older man, and a basket
    Jordan: Breasts peeking out of a shower, and buns doing it standing up on the plane with the co-pilot.

    The film was shot in Santa Monica, San Francisco, Las Vegas, and Palm Springs, which indicates more than a zero budget. There are not enough votes for an IMDB score, and no reviews on-line. This was not what I hoped when I put it on. I expected a light comedy with lots of sex, and ended up with an un-interesting plot, terrible acting from all of the men in the cast, and lots of late 60's, early 70's slang. This is a C-, and would be lower were it not for the amount of nudity.

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  • Connie Hoffman (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
  • Donna Desmond (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Mikel James (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Sydney Jordan (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Tracy King (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    Actually, I don't have many complaints about the awards. Congrats to Jennifer, who won as expected.

    Hey, what about the Cirque de Soleil, eh? I was just thinking to myself. What could make the Oscar show better? Now, foolish me, I was thinking - make it shorter, cut out all the bullshit performances. Get all the minor crap (short documentaries, make-up, sound editing) off prime time TV, and only show the awards which the general public cares about.  Give all the honorary awards (Poitier, Redford, e.g.) out before the show begins, and televise them later, for people who actually care.

    Those were my ideas, but my thinking was so wrong. Of course, the one thing the show needed was a really long, really pretentious tumbling act right in the middle of it! Sheer genius. Cirque de Soleil is obviously the French expression meaning "bathroom break". What says movies to me better than having tumblers act out symbolic movie tributes. And what could add more to tumbling than some operatic arias and bird costumes? What happened to the old days when they tumbled to the "Saber Dance" and shouted "hey!" every three seconds. But this new-age tumbling is some great stuff. I loved when the Hungarian tumblers all jumped up in a perfect pattern to form an impression of Russell Crowe's facial hair.

    Speaking of Russell, I'm really pissed off that Denzel won. Oh, he did a great job, he's a great guy, and he and I went to the same university (Fordham). But I don't really care about the performances. I was just really looking forward to Crowe's acceptance speech in which he read some untranslated German Expressionist poetry, and then beat the shit out of Glenn Close for trying to speak her voice-over before he was finished.

    My daughter said "Russell is really a great talent, but he's not a great human being"

    My response: "I don't know about that, but I do know that he's an interesting human being."

    And that he is. While the rest in Hollywood and London kiss each other's butts, Russell is Dennis Rodman in a tux and toga. He's unpredictable, uncontrolled, and possibly a danger to himself and society. Although he's the biggest star in the world, and comes from across the globe, he hangs out in slimy dives here in Austin and sings for free, and probably waits tables in between sets for all I know. He never combs his hair unless he's in a role, he never watches his weight if he doesn't have to, and he runs around Texas in a long coat.  (That's kind of loony, for those of you who don't know about our weather here. When Satan comes to Texas, he ends up returning to hell for the moderate climate and cool breezes.) People that run into Crowe in Austin don't even recognize him. They think he's some kind of homeless dude.

    Now tell me he isn't a Fun House kinda guy!

    All I can say is Russell is going to be kicking some butt tonight. And I hope they really keep the balloting secret, because there'll be hell to pay if Russell finds out who didn't vote for him.

    Although I wouldn't mind watching him kick Judi Dench's ass.

    Seriously, I think that Denzel was terrific in that movie, and I said so in my review while it was still in the theaters. I was so impressed that I wrote that he should have been Shaft instead of Samuel L, although Samuel is one of my personal favorites. But I'm surprised that they gave him an Oscar for the usual flamboyant corrupt cop role. If you bet on Denzel, you made some righteous bucks from the British bookies.

    Halle's reaction was obviously genuine, and I was moved by it. The emotion was so overwhelming for her that it affected me as well. Frankly, I don't know how to compare dissimilar performances, and I haven't even seen them all, so I won't say she was better or worse than the others, but Halle was closing on Spacek with the bookies in the past few days, until they were neck and neck in the odds.

    But Junior made the key point on Halle - she sets an appropriate model for all actresses who want to win Oscars. Get your damned clothes off! (Except Dame Dench - Judith, you can keep them on, if you're reading this)

    As for best picture. I have to be the only guy who writes about movies who doesn't have an opinion on this. Ya know, I just don't know how to determine who should win. Different types of movies: A Beautiful Mind, Lord of the Rings, Moulin Rouge, Iris - how do you establish the criteria to determine that one of those is better than the others? It's a matter of what type of movies people prefer, or even what type of movie they feel they should vote for. There are many worthy candidates, but the final selection is either a popularity contest or a Zeitgeist measurement.

    My only thought on the evening: Woody Allen should be hired as the permanent host, and should be allowed to write his own material

    And while they're at it, Steve Martin should be brought back to present all the awards. They should never consider letting anyone else but those two guys talk, unless they are receiving awards. (Although I thought Whoopi did a pretty good job.)



    The Victoria Abril, Shannon Tweed and Sherilyn Fenn volumes have been amended and/or enlarged.


    I wouldn't normally be going through "Vogue", but my daughter brought me these:



    Last to Surrender is a Roddy Piper movie which I looked at because it was rated R. No luck on the female nudity, but it was a lot better film than I expected. Of course, my expectations were low.


    I don't know anything about Nightfire, but I made some quickies from Graphic Response captures

    • Shannon Tweed (1, 2, 3)


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    A fond farewell
    A bit of sad news today...we regret to announce that Hugo, the Michelangelo of vidcaps, announced that he was retiring from imaging.

    Here are his two most recent collages.

    • Clotilde Courau, topless and full frontal images from "Promenons-nous dans les bois" aka "Deep in the Woods" (2000).

    • Karen Cliche, topless and rear nudity in scenes from a Hong Kong action version of "Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde" (1999).

    Cindy Fidler aka C.J. Fidler, Stuntwoman. One of her robo-hooters pops out during a fight sequence in "Half Baked" (1998).

    Janet Kidder (Margot Kidder's niece) shows butt and a partial breast exposure in the Canadian movie "Mean With Guns" (1997).

    Katya Gardner Topless as a truckstop whore in the cable movie "Happy Face Murders" (1999).

    Gabrielle Rose Topless while rubbing her breasts during a masturbation session on a television monitor in Atom Egoyan's "Speaking Parts" (1989).

    Jennifer Dale Shows her large rack during a love scene in "Midnight Magic" (1987).

    Melissa DiMarco Not nude, but showing major cleavage in episode "The damned" from the tv series "Psi Factor".

    "The Big Cube"
    Plenty of boobs and bums in The Big Cube by some unknown actresses and Pamela Rodgers. Made in the late 60s it is full of the Timothy Lehrer ethos. Non-nude caps of Regina 'Queen Bee' Torne.

    "The King's Whore"
    I'd be surprised if these caps of Valeria Golino in The King's Whore (aka La Putain du Roi) haven't appeared before. Plenty of boobs and bum shots, and one almost gynecological. A DVD transfer would be able to pick it up better.

    • Valeria Golino (1, 2, 3, 4)

    "American Psycho"
    Some DVD caps of the pathetic American Psycho have appeared before. However, once again VHS exposes a bit more, especially of Care Seymore. Krista Sutton and Guinevere Turner also show a bit of flesh.

    "The Specials"
    The Specials is a film about a group of superheroes. Jordan Ladd and Paget Brewster play two of them. No nudity in this PG-rated movie, just some nice caps.

    Linda Doná plays a prostitute in Ricochet, a movie about a cop being framed and that has a plot that is totally unbelievable. Some other nudity by some other dancers in a disco, one of whom is enough to put you off your dinner.

    "The Tale of Ruby Rose"
    Similarly, don't download Sheila Florance's caps in The Tale of Ruby Rose unless you have a strong constitution. You only get the briefest of nipple peeks and she is an old-age pensioner. Melita Jurisic plays her granddaughter and they're having a bath together.

    Concluding the things that need ironing, we have Elaine Stritch in Screwed.

    "Death Dreams"
    I almost missed this, the briefest of nipple peeks as Marg Helgenberger jumps out of bed in Death Dreams. Her right breast jumps out of her night dress. Unfortunately, it's blurred and we await the DVD version.

    • Marg Helgenberger (1, 2)

    Quite a bit of of nudity in Serial. The best topless views are of Sally Kellerman, and also of some unknown actresses at a swingers club. Patch McKenzie's nudity is brief and there are some nice views of Tuesday Weld and Stacy Nelkin.

    Some of the caps of Mandy Schaffer have appeared before but it is a body double actually doing the boobs and buns exposure. We have to be content with the excellent pokies. There is the briefest of topless exposure of Stacy Grant and some terrific see-through exposure of Pauline Gaete when she has a water fight with Mandy.

    Another excellent batch from the master of fashion scans. Non-nudes today, but Laetitia and Adriana do show off a bit of skin.

    Additional thoughts from Uncle Scoopy
    I suppose if we had the internet when I was in college, and had taken one of our "sexiest woman in the world" polls, Julie Christie would have won. She is now virtually forgotten compared to some of her contemporaries because she rarely works, but she was truly one of the most beautiful actresses ever to grace the screen, did hot nude scenes, and even won a Best Actress Oscar (with two more nominations)!

    Julie became notorious when it was reported that she and Donald Sutherland weren't fakin' oral or other sex in Don't Look Now. There is some evidence of that in these caps (links #1 and #5).

    • Julie Christie in "Don't Look Now" (1973) (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Mr Skin also unearthed her rare final nude appearance in the obscure 1992 film, "The Railway Station Man". It is based on a script by Shelagh Delaney, the highly regarded author of A Taste of Honey, but I never even heard of the movie until I saw these caps (I was living in Norway when it was released, and I guess it never got there). It is still not available on DVD.

    • Julie Christie in "The Railway Station Man" (1, 2, 3)

    Julie still looks shaggable. This final picture of her was taken by the brilliant Herb Ritts in December, 2001, as she approached her 61st birthday! Ok, she's older than your grandma, now look at the picture and tell me you wouldn't do her.