Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated. Very big and very important update this week. Charlie covers "Les anges exterminateurs," which one reviewer called "the film Eyes Wide Shut should have been." Every single one of the women is drop-dead gorgeous, and explicitly naked.



* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.







Van Wilder 2

Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj - Unrated (2006) follows Taj, who has learned everything Van had to teach him, to a prestigious British school, where he will do his student teaching and study for his doctorate. He has been accepted into the most prestigious fraternity on campus, and hopes to become a champion horndog as well. When he arrives, it turns out that the rich, royal snobs in the fraternity were playing a joke on him, and that he had not been accepted at all. He ends up in their equivalent of Animal House, which includes a drunken Irishman with anger issues, a nerd who is trying to solve the riddle of getting laid mathematically, a guy who doesn't talk for reasons that we learn later, and a Cockney girl who is a total potty mouth, and is looking for love, or at least a nice fat mouthful to suck on. He officially makes them a fraternity, falls in love with the head snob's girlfriend, proves that he is a great teacher, and transforms the motley crew he is living with into something approaching normality. He then takes on the snobs in a series of challenges for a prestigious cup, while winning the girl away from the snob.

IMDb readers say 2.4. This is way too low in my estimation. The material is not especially original, but I liked many of the characters, and enjoyed spending time with them. Some of the dialogue was snappy as well. To save money, much of the film was shot in Romania. This is in the same mold as Van Wilder, American Pie, etc. I found it watchable, if brainless, making it a C.

Scoop's note: Although Tuna kinda liked it, the correct score is either E or F on our system. He was almost literally the only person in the world who liked it.

  • It is scored 2.4 at IMDb, among the bottom 70 of all time. And that score has been "stuffed" upward!
  • It is scored 1.1 by the top 1000 voters at IMDb, lowest of all time. This group can't be "ballot stuffed."
  • It was a failure at the box office of legendary proportions, possibly the worst of all time. It was in about 2000 theaters and grossed $2 million in its opening weekend. Just to prove that was no fluke, it dropped 62% in its second week and 93% in its third week.
  • Only 6% of the reviews were positive, placing among the worst ten films of the year.
  • Metacritic scores it 21, and estimates that it was the sixth-worst reviewed film of the year.
  • Our overview of multiple ratings also showed it to be the sixth-worst film of the year.
  • In general, people who liked the first Van Wilder hated it, and people who like Kal Penn hated it. Sample quotes from page 1 of IMDb comments:
  • "First let me start by saying I was a huge Van Wilder fan and enjoy all of Kal Penn's work, be it in Van Wilder, Harold & Kumar, and even American Desi. This film, however, was a disaster."
  • "I'm brown, British, loved Van Wilder and Kal Pen but this film is utter shit. Unfunny, unimaginative, badly directed and written."
  • Even Ryan Reynolds (the original Van Wilder) must have hated it. He refused to do it, and he's never before found a sequel bad enough to refuse. He even did Blade:Trinity!



Lauren Cohan, as the girl Taj is fighting for, shows breasts ...


... as does Elena Tecuta, in a pretty much gratuitous but funny scene.


The Cockney girl's character shows breasts in a badminton game, but it was a body double, according to the making of featurette. Also, she shows what looks like pokies in a beer chugging contest, but admitted that it was actually peanuts inside her shirt.










Emmanuelle 5

Today the Time Machine takes a 20 year journey to 1987 for Emmanuelle 5. This forgettable movie starred Monique Gabrielle, who truly had a body to die for and no problem baring it all for the camera.

Caps and five clips with more to come tomorrow.







Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave

This 2005 film is the fifth of this series. Most series fans consider the first and third to be the best of the bunch. Coincidentally, those are also the ones that had nudity. The latest also has nudity, but it doesn't rank up there with one and three.

The few survivors of the forth movie have enrolled in college to try to get on with their lives. Julian finds a chemical container in a hidden room of his aunt's house. Although the chemical is labeled Trioxyin-5, he doesn't make any connection to what happened before, but he does want to find out what it is, so he gets a nerdy science-type friend of his to analyze it. Unfortunately, the nerdy guy is also a greedy guy, so when he discovers the stuff gets people high, he uses it to create a drug he calls "Z".

Halloween approaches, and with it a huge rave/costume party. All the college kids are dropping "Z", and as it takes effect they of course turn into zombies. What makes it even harder to tell the unzombied from the zombied is that everyone is in costume. Julian tries desperately to warn his friends, but the only way to know the goods guys from the bad is if they try to eat you.

Yeah, it's as silly and goofy as the original, and fun as well; just not as good. Perhaps it's just that after five of these things, there's no surprises left.










This movie is so bad is hilarious. First of all, every drug addict who watches this movie will want to be kidnapped, since kidnappers keep you on drugs all the time. The movie also teaches us that kidnappers like to keep their victims naked and peep on women changing.

A good police officer should have a mascot, and of course a chimpanzee is ideal!

Chimpanzees are not very different from kidnappers, they also like to peep on women changing.

We also learn that Barbara Crampton looked great on her day and she shows enough skin to prove that. Kim Evenson, who was Playboy Playmate of the Month in September of 1984 plays the kidnapped girl, and is also naked.



Barbara Crampton



Kim Evenson









Notes and collages

"Farscape" - Part 13

Season 2, Ep 21

Season 3, Ep 1

Virginia Hey, S2, Ep 21

Virginia Hey, S3, Ep 1






Elisabeth Shue in First Born. I watched this film. If you liked The Others, you might like this supernatural mystery, which is not as good as The Others, nor as original, but kind of spooky in its own way. 
Grace Sherman in last Sunday's The L Word
Paris Hilton - new cleavage or just a good bra?
Jaqueline Obradors - sexy pokies
One more of Winona cleavage.
Party girl Tara Reid when she still had her very nice natural body in Body Shots
Jennifer Connelly in Inventing the Abbots (film clip)






Pat's comments in yellow...

Better hold on to your balloons in New Hampshire: the House of Representatives just passed a bill that would treat balloon releases as a form of littering subject to fines of up to $500. Sponsors say the balloons come down and harm wildlife that eats them.  And the bill would apply only to deliberate balloon releases, not hot air balloons, weather and science balloons, or accidental releases. One opponent questioned how it would be enforced, asking, "Do we now get balloon police?" 

*  You've heard of trial balloons?  Now, they'll have balloon trials.

Steven Thibodeau of Manchester, Connecticut, was arraigned on
15 counts of voyeurism for allegedly making a shampoo cam.  He had several roommates, and one male roommate wondered why the bottle of shampoo hadn't moved in awhile, so he picked it up and discovered wires running out the back.  Police say Thibodeau had a miniature camera in it that sent footage of his two female roommates back to his TV, where he recorded them showering and undressing.

*  This is why I always advise people, spend the extra money for the wireless shampoo cam.