Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated, featuring one of our
favorites, Ludivine Sagnier, in "Une aventure"
You just have a thing about Cristin Michele.
That's her again in "House of the Dead 2."
Oops. He's referring to the fact that
I didn't recognize her in 2001 Maniacs either! She also has a nude
scene in the upcoming Night of the Living De3D.
Here is the corrected (I hope) collage from
There is nothing
incompetent about Derailed, a Hollywood thriller starring Clive Owen
and Jennifer Aniston. The direction, acting, and scripting are
all adequate. Yet I can't give you a single good reason to watch the
film unless you've never seen a thriller before. If you have
already seen a few, there is absolutely nothing new in this one.
The characters are
the same old genre stereotypes: the nice guy with an excessively
life, the femme fatale, the over-the-top psychotic villain, the tough
cop with a sentimental streak.
The script is
completely predictable. If we went into the film assuming that it was
a straight drama, the central plot twist would catch us napping, but
since it is a thriller, we automatically assume that there must be a
hole card hidden from our view. In this case, we can identify the
downturned card in the same way that a blackjack counter can identify
the last card in the deck - there is only one remaining possibility.
If everything is not as it appears, there can only be one other
The sex and nudity
are passionless. Clive Owen and Jennifer Aniston don't manage to
ignite any sparks between them in a lovemaking scene. The subsequent
rape scene is powerful and emotionally involving, but it is a rape
after all, and therefore not a pleasant scene to watch. Moreover,
Jennifer Aniston manages to stay fully dressed throughout the
lovemaking with Clive Owen and even while she is being raped by
After we assume the
film to have concluded, there is a completely gratuitous and
anti-climactic finale which destroys whatever remaining credibility
the film may have had. The action was so implausible that many
audiences were heckling the screen as the scene transpired.
As I add up the
totals, my spreadsheet says
that it all adds up to an erotic thriller which fails to deliver on
either thrills or eroticism. Despite that result, it would be
dishonest for me to give it a very low score simply because the
package is professionally assembled. If there could have been more
than one solution to the puzzle, and/or if the sex and nudity had been
as impressive as the action in Body Heat or Basic Instinct, Derailed
would be a film to recommend. As it stands, it is a barely watchable
time-killer for genre fans.
C- by our standard of measurement.
Melissa George, or
maybe a body double, showing only some plumber's crack.
Jennifer Aniston -
no nudity at all
A film clip (zipped
.wmv) of Aniston.
on Fla. Woman's Door
- His biggest problem: where to store his copies of The
The Movie Timeline
- "So here's the pitch: The Movie Timeline is the history of
everything, taken from one simple premise - that everything you
see in the movies is true..."
levels of wagering on ... American Idol
On the menu today:
horse penis and testicles with a chili dip
- "Situated in an elegantly restored house beside Beijing's West
Lake, it is China's first speciality penis restaurant."
- At last, we welcome China to the community of civilized
Colbert Report: "I
am the Great and Powerful Oz"
- Sometimes to maintain your authority in the face of criticism,
you have to make stuff up.
Jennifer Aniston's move to Chicago
Fox News's Dan Senor is conservative on national security and
liberal on ties.
Better Know a District: California's 27th"
The Daily Show
looks at the bureaucratic morass which keeps the trade towers from
Stewart - Spring Break: Wooooo!
- 90% of spring breakers have had group sex that in hindsight
they were really glad about.
Headlines - Respect My Port Authoritah!"
- New York is set to build the tallest, shiniest, terrorist-tauntiest
skyscraper in the world.
The trailer from
- "After making a misjudged advance towards her mother's
boyfriend, 16-year-old Heidi (Abbie Cornish) flees her home for
the small Australian ski town of Jindabyne. Entranced by the
startling beauty of the wintry landscapes and falling snow, she
begins to create a new life for herself. With little money or
practical experience, she accepts a job at a petrol station and
finds lodging with Irene (Lynette Curran). When she falls for Joe
(Sam Worthington), the son of a wealthy local farmer, her
self-destructive tendencies re-surface, and her fragile new world
threatens to come tumbling down. An erotic, lyrical depiction of a
young girl's sexual awakening, 'Somersault' is a breakthrough
debut for both its director and its star."
The clip and a
trailer from ATL
- "ATL tells the story of four teens coming of age in a working
class Atlanta neighborhood where hip-hop music and roller skating
rule. As the group prepares for life after high school, challenges
on and off the rink bring about turning points in each of their
lives. The film is loosely based on Dallas Austin and Tionne
Watkins' experiences growing up in Atlanta and hanging out at a
local skating rink called Jellybeans."
trailer and two clips from The Promise
- "A new epic fantasy set in China's mythical past, The Promise
is a visually stunning tale of passion that unfolds against a
backdrop of war as a beautiful and mysterious princess becomes the
object of affection for three very different men - a powerful
Duke, a brave general and a lowly slave. As passions spark and
egos clash, lives will be ruined and lovers spurned and no one
will ever be the same."
The trailers for
a film about the "other plane" on 9/11 - the one which the
passengers took back from the hijackers.
Furniture-Hopping Once Again
Ain't It Cool News
discusses The Notorious Bettie Page.
(With pictures and a film clip.)
discusses her role as Bettie Page
RapidShare Video -
- "Features Stacy Keibler Ass-Shakin', Katie Holmes, Nicole
Richie & Many Others"
- Update of Allan Ginsberg's "Howl"
Movie theaters aim
for live 3D sports in 2007
"Good luck, Mr
At last, Mr
Gorski responds to Armstrong.
- A short film about Neil Armstrong's cryptic message from the
moon. (Actually, it was "Mr Gorski")
World of Clerks 2
And you think Bush is a classy guy?
the Italian head of state, mock-humps a female police officer
Paris Hilton says
she will soon be taking roles away from Charlize Theron!
- "Earlier this month, the stunning blonde claimed she is as
good an actress as Oscar-winner Charlize Theron. The hotel heiress
insisted she is easily as talented as the screen beauty, who won
the Best Actress prize for her performance in 'Monster', and said
the pair would soon be competing for the same roles. She said: "My
acting coach told me I have a similar style of acting to her so we
may end up vying for the same parts."
TOWN HALL MEETINGS TO INDIA"
... Questions on Medicare, Iraq Fielded From Bangalore
More A-List Stars
Now Doing Voiceovers
Some nudes and other Helmut
William Hung alert!
Chloe Sevigny's artistic nudes
Free nude sample gallery from Playboy.com:
Jenny McCarthy's lookalike
sister, Amy McCarthy
Snakes on a Plane Now Has a
"Alabama Governor's Race: The
Roy Moore Argument for Execution of Homosexuals"
Carmen Electra, the former Mrs
Rodman, Now Has A Crush on Kate Moss
From the "here is your brain on drugs" department:
"Hollywood Actor Charlie Sheen
Calls 9/11 'Conspiracy Theory'"
- According to Sheen, not only were President Bush and his administration
involved in what he calls a "conspiracy theory," but the press was too.
Monument to Pro-Life: The
Birth of Sean Preston
- "A nude Britney Spears on a bearskin rug while giving birth to her
firstborn marks a first for Pro-Life."
South Park - Something's Up
- "Taken from the first episode from season 10 of South Park. Who would have
thought Chef was a child molester?"
Weird Al Yankovic: I lost on
"Lindsay Lohan is desperate to
play Wonder Woman"
Coming Soon now has four clips
from the soon-to-be immortal cinema classic, The Benchwarmers
American Dreamz Can Come True:
Film Clip and Singing Contest
VH1.com: a sneak preview of
The Surreal Life 6
This is JEOPARDY! - JEOPARDY!
ONLINE CONTESTANT TEST
A Film Review of C.S.A. - The
Confederate States of America
- “C.S.A.” is a faux documentary imagining life in North America if the
Confederacy had won the Civil War. Humorous and provocative, but never
outright funny, the picture is an inventive piece of filmmaking, at time
convincingly illustrating a bizzaro world that just might have been.
Meet A Black Person
- "Some parts of the world lack Indians. Others lack people from Pakistan.
Aspen, CO happens to lack Black people. The person in this video capitalizes
on this fact for an unforgettable short video."
A clip from Lucky Number
Another clip from Lucky Number
The trailer from The Lost City
- "Andy Garcia ('Modigliani') stars and makes his directorial debut in a
passionate and historical tribute to his native Cuba. Havana in 1958 is a
place of pleasure for many, but others are not happy under the rule of
dictator Fulgencio Batista. As the revolutionary forces of Fidel Castro and
Ernesto 'Che' Guevara prepare to move on the city, Fico Fellove (Garcia) -
owner of the city's classiest music nightclub, El Tropico -struggles to hold
together his family and the love of a woman (Ines Sastre), not knowing that
his club will become more than just a stage for popular entertainment.
Observing all is The Writer (Bill Murray) an ex-patriot American who sees Fico
being drawn into events as the revolution changes everything. Though Fico
watches a culture vanish and a people transformed, it is his love of Cuban
music that keeps his memories alive."
Two more clips from Take the
film in which a teacher brings ballroom dancing skills to bored inner city kids
who prefer hip-hop.
Two clips from Take the Lead,
the dancing movie with Antonio Banderas
The trailer for The Sisters
- "Four siblings struggle to banish the ghost of their dead father and
create some semblance of harmony using a college on New York's Upper East Side
as their surrogate home. Flashing between the chaos of Manhattan and the
seemingly perfect sanctuary of Charleston, this unflinchingly honest drama
with comedy explores and explodes the myths of family and friendship. As three
sisters and a brother recall the simpler life the family left in their
childhood home, they peel back the layers of their pretensions and
self-deceptions with wit and candor escalating to moments of shocking power.
Their final realization is that chaos and violence lie within the heart, and
the only defenses are love and honesty."
The trailer for Art School
- "The film is Zwigoff's second adaptation of a comic story by Daniel Clowes,
after 'Ghost World,' for which they shared an Academy Award nomination for
Best Adapted Screenplay in 2002. 'Art School Confidential' follows a talented
young artist Jerome Platz (Max Minghella) as he escapes from high school to a
tiny East Coast art school. Here the boyish freshman's ambition is to become
the world's greatest artist, like his hero Picasso. Unfortunately, the beauty
and craft of Jerome's portraiture are not appreciated in an anything-goes art
class that he finds bewildering and bogus. Neither his harsh judgments of his
classmates' efforts or his later attempts to create pseudo-art of his own win
him any admirers. But Jerome does attract the attentions of his dream girl -
the stunning and sophisticated Audrey (Sophia Myles) - an artist's model and
daughter of a celebrated artist. Rejecting the affectations of the local art
scene, Audrey is drawn to Jerome's sincerity."
The trailers for Keeping Up
With The Steins
- "After attending a neighbor's over-the-top Bar Mitzvah celebration,
high-powered Hollywood agent Adam Fiedler, played by Jeremy Piven, is
determined to pull out all the stops, and have the most extravagant
celebration ever seen, for his shy, insecure son Benjamin."
The internet buzz about
'Snakes on a Plane'
Colbert points out "One of the
nice things about diseases of the brain is they tend to slip your mind."
Colbert interviews Steve Kroft
of 60 Minutes
Colbert Report: Employee
- It's employee review time at the Report!
Colbert's take on the world
- The logic is irrefutable. Japan beat Cuba, but we beat Japan in World War
II, so we are the champions!
Phoebe Cates, star turned
The Smoking Gun:
Dick Cheney's Suite Demands
- Interestingly, his hotel suite must be kept below the freezing point, and
his mini-bar must include at least eight quarts of goat's blood and a
still-beating human heart.
Conan's Spring Break Special:
James Lipton Shotguns a Beer
The 20 Most Important Tools
- Donald Trump protested his exclusion from the list.
"Dog Bible" Contains No
Mention Of Canine Jesus
New York's new pay toilets
The trailer for Mozart And The
- A dramatic, romantic comedy inspired by the lives of two people with
Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism, whose emotional dysfunctions threaten
to sabotage their budding romance. Donald (Hartnett) is a good-natured but
hapless taxi driver with a love of birds and a superhuman knack for numbers.
Like many AS sufferers, he likes patterns and routines. But when the beautiful
but complicated Isabelle (Mitchell) joins the autism support group he leads,
his life - and his heart - are turned upside down.
Chef Gets Big Send-Off on
The first alpha release of
Firefox 2.0 is available through Mozilla
"A Supreme Court decision
leaves unanswered questions about what Internet content is protected speech."
"Jessica Alba said she won't
be getting naked onscreen"
Coming Soon has a new clip
from Stay Alive
Headline of the day:
Illinois Democrats promise not
to buy votes
- They've finally realized that votes from dead people are so much more
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
The Guy from Harlem (1977)
"The thing is nobody
knows what Big Daddy looks like, very few people have ever seen him.
All we do know is he's a white guy who is six foot two, with blond
curly hair. And man, you talk about muscles... he got the biggest
muscles! And he wears bands around his arms. But nobody knows what he
looks like. Nobody's ever seen him."
The Guy from Harlem is about a private
detective, who was, in fact, originally from Harlem, but has moved to
Florida because there were too many detectives in Harlem. He is still
known as "The Guy from Harlem," presumably because "The Guy from Coral
Gables" just doesn't sound black and bad-ass enough.
As the film opens, we see a black woman asleep on a
sofa, and a guy decides to grab her tit under her top. She gets
pissed, but can't do much because her hands are tied. It seems that
she has been kidnapped by the infamous Big Daddy, but there is good news for
her. Big is going to kidnap another black woman, this time the wife of
an African head of state, so the woman in bondage will have company.
Cut to the office of The Guy from Harlem, who is
visited by a close CIA friend, and hired to guard the wife of an
African head of state. Don't worry about the woman being held captive.
She is just waiting for act two of this masterpiece. Don't wonder why
the CIA hires an independent black guy to guard a visiting first lady.
Just go with the story here. It will be less painful than thinking
The Guy from Harlem manages to thwart Big Daddy and deliver the wife
unharmed, if a little worn out after screwing him all night. Then the
family of the kidnapped woman, gangsters all, come to Harlem Guy for
help. He agrees, since there is an attractive woman involved. We are
then treated to a series of fight scenes, as The Guy from Harlem walks
along the edge of a park, beats up bad guys, and tosses them into the
bushes. After he rescues the woman, he must spend the night with her,
cause that is what Guys from Harlem do. The final act is the showdown
between The Guy from Harlem and Big Daddy himself.
Pros and Cons:
Let's start with the good things about the film, as
that will be easy. Many of the so-called actors and actresses sport
monumental Afros ... legitimate 70s stuff. I doubt they could even
get their hair into a modern car. Two actresses show breasts. Let's
see ... Yes, that just about covers the good parts.
On the other side of the coin, none of the
performers have any acting ability, the fight scene choreography is
pitiful, and the dialogue is clearly 100% ad-libbed, and badly at
that. In fact, they even ad-libbed the same lines in two successive
This film is only for masochists. If I thought for a
moment that it was intentional parody, I would be forced to call it
brilliant, as they absolutely mastered every aspect of bad cinema.
Believe it or not, The Guy From Harlem spawned a
sequel called Super Soul Brother!
Sliver (1993) is a Sharon Stone thriller also staring Tom Berenger, William
Baldwin and Polly Walker. All four were nominated for Razzies. I know I have
seen this before, and was not impressed with it but never did any captures
from the normal release. The Unrated version supposedly has four additional
minutes of sex, but the running times are the same for both versions. This
time, I did find dark Sharon Stone nudity (breasts and buns) and a couple of
fairly hot sex scenes. The film also played better than I remember it, and the
identity of the killer was in doubt until the ending.
Stone is a book editor, and moves into the swanky Sliver building, a very
up-scale apartment building. Two tenants, Baldwin and Berenger, start hitting
on her immediately. She ends up with Baldwin, who turns out to own the
building, and to have every room in the building bugged with sound and video.
His first gift to her is a telescope, which she immediately uses to spy on
other buildings, assuring him that he has found his soul mate. Stone learns
that the girl in the apartment before her looked like her, and fell to her
death from the window. When other tenants are murdered, she is unsure if it is
Berenger or Baldwin.
IMDb readers say 4.5. Razzie nominations for all of the acting positions,
screenplay and director are not indicative of a great film. The nudity helped
maintain interest, but it was back-lit and not easy to see. I mostly forgot
about this film from the first viewing, and must say the unrated version is
marginally better, at least in the storytelling. I will give it a C-.
Pat's comments in yellow...
The Women's Institute Calendar Girls, the first older ladies to pose for a
nude charity calendar, have so inspired Prince Charles' wife Camilla, she's
joined their organization. A group spokeswoman said it's unlikely Camilla will
be appearing in a nude calendar.
* She did volunteer...But they said, "Unlikely."
* They started the big fad for nude charity calendars, and Camilla would end
With nearly half of Americans visiting a Wal-Mart at least
once a week, the company fears it's tapped out its target market. So they are
testing something new in Plano, Texas: a special Wal-Mart that will offer
high-end electronics, fine jewelry, designer clothes, hundreds of wines at up to
$500 a bottle, and even a sushi bar. Some analysts say upscale consumers may be
tempted by the food, but getting them to buy fashions at Wal-Mart may be a hard
* I didn't even know Vera Wang made stretch pants.
* That bottle of wine used to be $500, but now, it's $499.82.
The Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission and police in the Dallas suburb of
Irving launched a crackdown on public intoxication, and last week hit 36 bars
and arrested 30 people. But critics say they went too far when they raided a
hotel bar and arrested drinkers who were registered guests and just planned to
return to their rooms without driving. Dallas-based comic Steve Harvey joined
the protest, saying that if someone isn't driving, then "it's only
American to let a guy get drunk where he wants to get drunk." But a TABC
officer replied, "Going to a bar is not an opportunity to go get drunk. It's to
have a good time but not to get drunk."
* And you would have a good time.........how?
* Having fun in a bar doesn't mean getting drunk...It means getting a woman
* Irving's got a BIG future as a convention city.