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"Training Day"

Training Day (2001) I assume everyone has read Scoop's review of this film. My take is a little different. Scoop chose to ignore what he saw as logic holes in the plot, and enjoyed the film. I also enjoyed the film, and saw less in the way of logic holes to ignore. I don't think it was ever a secret from the audience or from Hawke that Denzel would use or abuse him in whatever way would be to his benefit, and we learn very early that Denzel isn't exactly a pillar of honesty. Hawke is driven by his ambition to try and fit in, as he sees this as a steppingstone to a promotion. I agree completely that the thing that saves Hawke in the end is lower probability than a virgin birth. The director was after an accurate portrayal of the streets, and, I think, succeeded. He received some flack over the language in the film, but as he points out, that is the way people in that situation talk.

I agree with Scoops C+, but highly recommend it to anyone who doesn't mind strong language, violence, and nudity.

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  • Eva Mendes (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    "Parfait amour!"

    Parfait amour! (1996) was written and directed by Catherine Breillat (Romance, Fat Girl), and is the story of an affair between a younger man, and an older woman. He is a business owner (we never learn anything about his business, or see him working). She is an Ophthalmologist, and has been married twice. As the film opens, he is being arrested for first sodomizing her with a broom handle, then stabbing her to death with a butcher knife. As is always true when the ending is the first scene of the film, there is no tension or suspense of any kind, so the point of the film becomes to explain how and why this happened. After 112 minutes mainly consisting of pretentious dialogue full of incomprehensible French thoughts and feelings, we learn that he did it because she pissed him off.

    He is played by Francis Renaud, and she by Isabelle Renauld. The two are in bed for probably half of the running time, but she only briefly exposes her breasts during these scenes. 32 IMDB votes have it at 6.5 of 10, which is way too high for a talky sub-titled no plot or pace film. The camera work is nothing special, but Renauld did give a decent performance. D.

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  • Isabelle Renauld (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    "Eating Raoul"

    Eating Raoul (1982) is a low budget ($350k) black comedy starring Mary Woronov, Paul Bartel and Robert Beltran. Bartel works in a liquor store, and is fired for not letting a customer buy cheap wine, and for ordering a case of Chateau Lafitte Rothschild at $300.00/bottle. Wife Mary is a nurse/nutritionist at the local hospital. The two dream of opening a restaurant together, and have found a perfect location, but need $20,000.00. The two are asexual, which makes the fact that the other residents of their building, mostly swingers, keep hitting on them all the harder to take. Finally, when one of them attacks Mary, and Paul re-arranges his skull with a frying pan, they hit on a perfect answer to all of their problems. After all, the swingers are all rich, and the world is certainly better off without them, so they advertise in a sex paper and are on their way to earning their nest egg.

    Life gets more interesting when Raoul (Beltran), locksmith and burglar, discovers what they are up to, but soon reaches a mutually beneficial financial arrangement with them. On the chance that you have not seen this film, I will stop here, as watching this film is a cultural imperative. Unfortunately, it is not available on DVD in region one, but should be on VHS in your local rental store. The Region 2 DVD is 4/3 ratio, but acceptable image quality. Mary shows her breasts in a lengthy scene with Beltran. There are miscellaneous nude swingers as well. IMDB readers say 6.3 of 10. Bartel also directed, and shares writing credits. I suppose there is no cross-over appeal with black comedy, as those who hate the genre will hate every example, but for the rest, this is a marvelous if mindless piece of entertainment. C+

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  • Mary Woronov (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Hey, Scoop:

    Subject: 23 reasons why the written English language is so hard to learn:

    1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
    2) The farm was used to produce produce.
    3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
    4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
    5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
    6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
    7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
    8) The head of a bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
    9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
    10) I did not object to the object.
    11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
    12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
    13) They were too close to the door to close it.
    14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
    15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
    16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
    17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
    18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
    19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
    20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
    21) Examining the minute details will take more than a minute.
    22) I read about reed every day, but my eyes are red from what I read yesterday.
    23) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?



    Tuna, take heart! Venice Magazine reports that your gal, Leelee Sobieski, is nekkid in the upcoming film L'Idole



    Life as a House is my kind of film - a weepy-ass Hollywood formula 10-hanky dyin' of cancer flick. Not that I like to watch them, but I sure love to write about them. Classic adherence to the form, except the casting director got in a little trouble because he hired Kevin Kline, although Richard Gere is supposed to have a monopoly on these.

    • Mary Steenburgen (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Claire Forlani, topless in Euro-DVD 'caps from "Gypsy Eyes" aka..."CIA Trackdown" (1993) .

    • Meg Ryan, topless in scenes from "The Presidio".

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    Can it be? Did I actually watch a B-movie that I enjoyed? Amazingly, yes! "Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Blood" is a fun, campy, tongue-firmly-planted-in cheek, spoof of vampire movies starring one of our comedy heroes, Dennis Miller, and the very sexy Angie Everhart (unfortunately in her strict, non-nude days.)

    The Plot...
    Angie Everhart is the Mother of all vampires, brought back from the un-dead by a televangelist who has the key to controlling her. Here's the deal they strike: she lures men to the bordello, where she converts them into vampires, or feeds on them. For the televangelist (Chris Sarandon), he is using her as a tool to rid the world of sinners, and then selling the victim's cars and jewelry to raise money for his TV Bible Network.

    Erika Eleniak is the televangelist's assistant and her brother is missing. When the police can't help, she hires Dennis Miller, the low-rent, private investigator to crack the case and save the day.

    This is a great example of how casting can make all the difference in the world. Put anyone else in the PI role, and this is just another "Tales from the Crypt" episode with light humor, silly gore and nudity. However, with Miller spouting one liners and sarcastic remarks one after another, this becomes a wonderful, lighthearted spoof of all the silliness in the vampire genre. As a bonus, every time Miller is on screen, he looks like he's having a ton of fun, and I couldn't help but join in.

    If you're a fan of Dennis Miller, you'll enjoy this. If you think vampire movies are just a little too silly, you'll enjoy this. If you like Angie Everhart (even non-nude) you'll enjoy this. And if you enjoy gratuitous nudity...then you'll really like this!

    The nudity...
    Lot's of it, and all well lit and nicely photographed.

    The 'caps...
    They are what they Scoop mentioned, this week I am mobile as I broadcast from Amsterdam; and a notebook, even a good one, is no substitute for a desktop when you're trying to make nice images.

    • Angie Everhart. There's not much to see here, but I can't help myself, I love this woman. Mostly gorgeous headshots, plus some minor cleavage in links #4 and #5. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
    • Ciara Hunter in Hankster approved bondage gear. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
    • Juliet Reagh, sporting well crafted robo-hooters. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    • Leslie Ann Phillips, when two nipple aren't enough for ya. (1, 2)
    • Assorted Nude Unknowns (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)
    Today in "Girls Are For Loving", the bad guy finishes his dirty deed with tied up naked Cheri Caffaro. Then we get some nudity from evil spy Jocelyn Peters.
    Next: for Jocelyn what goes around comes around.
    • Cheri Caffaro, full frontal in #1-3, rear nudity in #4. (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Jocelyn Peters, topless in all. Frontal and rear views in #3. (1, 2, 3, 4)
    IMDb reports:

    The conservative media watchdog group Center for Media and Public Affairs has issued results of a new study indicating that TV contains 29 percent less sex and 17 percent less violence than just two years ago. The results were presented at a Washington news conference by CMPA President Dr. S. Robert Lichter, who was accompanied by Republican Sen. Sam Brownback of Kansas and Democratic Senator Joe Lieberman of Connecticut. "The message to parents is that Hollywood is listening and Sen. Lieberman and I believe they are moving in the right direction."

    Scoop's comment:

    * Isn't it just because the Clinton hearings were on TV two years ago?

    IMDb reports:

    IMAX, the Toronto-based giant screen company, has developed a method to digitally convert films shot on conventional 35mm film into the 70mm IMAX format, the company said Thursday. Brad Wechsler, co-CEO of IMAX said that the company had spent five years developing the digital remastering process because "we thought it was necessary for our long-term growth." The first film to be re-released in the format, he said, will be the 1995 film Apollo 13, starring Tom Hanks and directed by Ron Howard. No release date was announced.

    Scoop's comment:

    * Man, I hope they have a way to do this with Sirens!