Monday
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Our own Academy Awards
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The Academy
of Naked Picture Arts and Sciences, consisting of
me, awarded our own statuettes to the women who
showed the best goodies at the Big Show. No
names. Have fun guessing. Here's the award for
goofiest looking woman of the night. (Just edging
out Degeneres.)
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Here's the
award for best looking woman of the night. I
think I'm going to desert Cameron for this woman.
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Best look
through a dress.
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Best look
through a sweater.
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Best low-cut
dress.
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Best
cleavage, excluding Whoopie, who has great
cleavage, but I can't bear to look.
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Best effort
from a nipple to escape.
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Best effort
from the side of a breast to poke out.
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Best nipples
poking through fabric.
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Fabulous
collage from R?ddler.
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One more of
Zeta, because it's my page, dammit.
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(No picture) Classiest moment: Warren Beatty
giving Elia Kazan a standing ovation for his
moviemaking. If Beatty had been a hair older, he
himself would have been blacklisted. Beatty's
politics are only slightly to the left of
Trotsky. If anyone could harbor ill feelings, it
would be Beatty. He showed he could separate the
two issues, as many people cannot, and he showed
a spirit of kindness and forgiveness that the
world needs more of. Well done, Warren.
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(No picture) Silliest moment: I know Judy
Dench is a fine performer who deserved a statue
for "Mrs Brown", but why didn't they
give it to her then, instead of for her five
lines in "SIL". Pretty much anyone
could have done the tiny, exaggerated part. Given
the androgynous nature of Queen Elizabeth's
mature years, I could have played the part,
although I'm a foot too tall. Well, I guess with
another foot on me, Muresan couldn't have played
the part, but Billy Crystal would have been OK,
except he'd have had to stand on a crate.
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Johnny Web's Grade-B Adventure
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Feelin' a bit
under the weather today, so I'll load up the pics
and keep the commentary briefer than usual.
Johnny Web is up with his usual assortment of the
forgotten, the bim, the would-be, the never-were,
the screamers, the women who are rarely seen
without subtitles under their heads. This lady is
no longer a star of any kind, but she was
notorious in her day, and she still looks great.
This is a current picture of the 60-something
Mamie Van Doren
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one more of
Mamie.
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this is
Jennifer Young, daughter of Gig Young. In high
school she lived that whole 90210 thing for real.
She shot down Nic Cage as her prom date. She's
possibly most famous, or infamous, as one of the
tell-all Hollywood babettes featured in
"Once More With Feeling", the sequel to
"You'll Never Make Love in this Town
Again"
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Jennifer Young.
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Jennifer Young.
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Jennifer Young.
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Deborah Shelton
in "Blind Vision". Her usual obscure
movie. Some guy is peeping on her. That seems to
be a mainstay of her career.
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Deborah Shelton
in "Blind Vision". Although she seems
to get naked quite a bit, she never seems to do a
nice, full-on nude in good light.
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Donna Wilkes in
"Murder by Mail".
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Donna Wilkes in
"Fyre" .
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Pam Grier in
"Black Mama, White Mama". Pam's natural
presence and great body surely enlivened the
awful movies she was in. The question is, how did
they keep getting her into those awful things? I
don't think that was such a good era to be black.
I don't remember so clearly, but it must have
been harder for her to cross over than it was
later for Denzel or Will Smith.
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Catherine
Keener, "Living in Oblivion" .
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Sadie Frost,
"Flypaper" .
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supermodel
Brandi Quinones, pretty much topless. Lovely
pictures. I guess I never noticed she was this
beautiful.
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Supermodel
Navia Nguyen. These are some seriously weird-ass
pictures. She's well on her way to a career as
the Asian Milla. No, check that. Milla is
eccentric, but she isn't scary. Let me call her
the Asian McMenamy.
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Navia Nguyen.
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Navia Nguyen.
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Jill Hennessy.
Not a Johnny Web scan, but this seems like a good
place to stick this in. I promised one of our
regulars I'd re-run her runway mishap.
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Well, we've had
models of all sizes and ethnicity, so here's
Kiara Kabukuru to round out the set. Nah, she's
not Japanese or Hawaiian, her name just kinda
sounds that way. She's a statuesque beauty from
Uganda.
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Halle Berry
exposed under the flashbulbs.
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Ines Sastre
paparazzi.
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asian
supermodel Hsu Chi. She is gorgeous.
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more of Hsu
Chi. Rumor has it she's gonna give it a try in
the States soon. As of now, she's the Taiwanese
star of softcore and erotic grade-b flicks in
Hong Kong, and she's only 22, after having made
more than 20 films!.
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Monster-chested
actress Lisa Marie. I'm sure Pepper will correct
me if I'm wrong, but I think those puppies are
the real McCoy
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Daisy Fuentes
exposed by the flashbulbs.
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a very strange
Runway shot of Bridget Hall.
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The Missing RDO cap
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I forgot this
RDO pic yesterday, because it isn't from Last
Tango. Here is my list of the three worst
decisions ever made. The third worst:
Napoleon's decision to invade Russia. 600,000
went there in military dress, 10,000 came home in
rags. If he had just left Russia alone, this page
and every other web page would now be in French.
The second
worst: Lucifer's decision to challenge God. If
Lucifer is so fucking smart, you'd think he'd
have had a better grasp of the term
"all-powerful".
The worst:
Tatum O'Neal's decision to do this nude scene in
"Circle of Two"
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Rossol
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I've pointed
out that Rossol hasn't been sending us stuff that
long, and that we don't have alll his material on
file. He was nice enough to oblige us by sending
along everything else he's done. Here's Corinne
Fleury in Serie Galant
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Missy Crider
and Laura Vasquez in "The Beast".
(Sorry, just bikini shots)
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Laura Vasquez
in "The Beast". (more bikinis) .
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One more of
Vasquez and Crider in bikinis.
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Michelle
Pfeiffer in "Tequila Sunrise".
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Master Bagger
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Bagger is not
the first guy to cap Nicole Kidman in Billy
Bathgate, but he really brought a nice aesthetic
to his collage.
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this is fresh.
Polly Shannon in Outer Limits.
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Arielle
Dombasle in "Red Shoe Diaries". She is
one good-lookin' woman.
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Master Bagger also
debuts all of his work on our site, and I think
the subscription area probably has every item
he's ever done. One way to start would be to go
to the back issues and search for "Master
Bagger" and set "all". Just about
every search result should be relevant to your
search. Another way to find them would be to go
back through the Monday editions. The same site
includes the Encyclopedia, the fakes, the Mardi
Gras, and the rasslin' babes.
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Aussie
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Aussie hasn't
been feeling well lately, but he sent along two
for our pleasure. Here's Amanda Douge in
"That Eye the Sky"
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...and Joely
Richardson addding to the Richardson family
nudity legacy, in "Lady Chatterley".
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A secret friend
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This fellas
sends in tons of great stuff, but wishes to
remain anonymous. Here are four scans that prsent
an entire magazine article about Ornella Muti,
words and, oh yeah, some pictures too/
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Ornella Muti
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Ornella Muti
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Ornella Muti.
What would the article be without a full-fromntal
nude?
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Here's another
article, this one including the famous paparazzi
pics of Gwyneth. They aren't new, but if you
haven't seen them, you must. I was very pleased
to see her win the Oscar. In the past, I've felt
she was overrated, but she was just pure luminous
movie star in this movie. Tell me you wouldn't
fall in love with her yourself. Yeah, Scoop, but
is she better than Streep? Hell, no, of course
not. You and I know that. If God came down on the
planet, he would only be the second best
performer, after Streep. Streep may be the
greatest performer of any time in any medium. On
a scale of 1 to 100, she's 100, and Olivier is
about a 75 (well, maybe 85 if you throw out
"The Betsy"). She studies every nuance,
every gesture, every syllable to make sure she
has it exactly right. She'll do things like hire
six dialogue coaches to keep correcting her
accents. Her performance in "One True
Thing" is brilliant, as always. Now that
I've said that - what are we gonna do, give it to
her every year? That wouldn't be much fun.
Besides, the Oscars are about charisma, not just
talent. I love Streep, but she has about as much
charisma as John Major. Gwyneth is lovely, a nice
person, smart, telented ... let her enjoy the
statue.
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more of Oscar
babe Gwyneth Paltrow
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and one of
Alba Parietti, for good measure
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same theme,
but not from the secret guy, Sophie Rhys-Davies,
future princess, in some British tabloid pics. No
nudity. Rumour says there are topless ones not
far behind.
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Sophie
Rhys-Davies.
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Sunday's Stuff with Uncle Scoopy |
Sir Realist
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The
Realist is churning 'em out like Scanman these
days. As he points out, he visits the art houses
so we don't have to. Greater love than that no
man hath. His first target is Natasha Richardson.
She has to be approaching the Sonia Braga level
of nudity. It's almost like you can count on some
flesh if you see her name on the movie box.
(Well, she didn't get naked in "The Favour,
the Watch, the very Big Fish and her cook and his
lover and Ted and Alice", but (1) she did
play a woman who dubbed in orgasms into porn
films, and (2)I'm not absolutely sure we can call
that a movie) Personally, although I think she's
interesting, I don't think she's all that
beautiful, and I find her occasional lapses into
baby talk to be quite irritating. But she does
get naked a lot, so all else is forgiven. Here
she looks good in "The Comfort of
Strangers"
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Natasha
Richardson, "The Comfort of Strangers".
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Natasha
Richardson, "The Comfort of Strangers".
The guy with her is Rupert Everett, the guy who
played Marlowe so wittily in "Shakespeare in
Love". To our female readers - sorry ladies.
He is a hunk, but he's - how shall I say this - a
confirmed bachelor.
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Natasha
Richardson, "The Comfort of Strangers".
This movie has "menacing" down to a
science. Hire Harold Pinter to write the
screenplay, and get Christopher Walken to deliver
the lines. Set it in Venice late at night, where
every corridor seems to lead into a desolate,
foggy, dead-end, and every road is a waterfront.
Shoot every camera angle with a weird twist. Have
a tracking shot sneak through an alley and come
upon the young lovers, or have doors and windows
being opened by unseen hands. Plenty of close-ups
of potential murder weapons. You get the picture.
I liked the movie, although it is certainly not a
mass market offering. Brilliant use of Venice as
the backdrop for the story. Probably the most
fully realized Pinter on film.
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Polish
Wedding. Claire Danes. Claire did do a topless
scene. It didn't attract all that much attention
because you really can't tell when Danes is
topless (I don't mean to suggest she should be
bigger. Just noting that she has no chest.
Personally, I like it). Look at the scene.
there's her (tiny) nipple clearly visible on her
tiny chest.
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Polish
Wedding. Claire Danes. More of the same. Damn
these nighttimne shots. I think Clinton should
sign us an executive order mandating natural or
intense light in all nude scenes. C'mon, Bubba,
where's that horny streak when we need it?
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Polish
Wedding. Claire Danes. This is the much-capped
scene where she bends over while wearing her
nightie. Danes did a good job in the movie, but
it was a waste of her time.
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Polish
Wedding. Claire Danes. I don't know if you can
see anything here or not. Probably not, but how
can you tell? God, was this movie irritating. It
is supposed to take place in contemporary
Detroit, but the characters' attitudes, and the
fact that the streets are safe at night in
run-down neighborhoods, suggest that it actually
took place in the 1950's or something. The
accents are hilarious. Now, mind you, I've spent
an awful lot of time in my life hearing Polish
people speak English, and it irritates me that
Lena Olin is so far off. She has these rolling
Hungarian r's, and these throat-clearing Yiddish
"ch" sounds. (By the way, Streep got
the Polish accent exactly right in Sophie's
Choice, as she always does). Olin is Swedish, of
course, and she had an impossible task. I
couldn't do an Irish accent in German, for
example. On the other hand, Gabriel Byrne did
pretty well in some scenes, then dropped the
accent altogether in other scenes. He obviously
realized that this movie was no Sophie's Choice,
and he did what he had to do to get a paycheck,
no more. Redeeming his performance, his scenes
with Claire Danes (his daughter) were touching
and natural, and the only genuine things in the
movie. Olin does kind of a larger-than-life
female impersonation of Anthony Quinn in Zorba
the Greek.
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Susan
Anspach's shower scene in Montenegro. This movie
is a domestic nihilist black comedy, meant to be
a surreal Strangelove-like look at the
brain-numbing effects of middle class life.
Anspach looked great as the bored American
housewife married to a Swedish millionaire
businessman in Stockholm. She falls in with some
crazy Yugoslavian immigrants, and takes a walk on
the wild side. This director should have made
great movies. He had great talent, and this movie
showed tremendous ability. His next movie,
"The Coca Cola Kid" was not totally
awful, but then he never did live up to his
potential. The IMDb says he's now teaching at
Harvard.
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Susan
Anspach. All of these scenes are dark, but they
are really Anspach - full frontal in this group.
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Susan
Anspach. Here's the full frontal with an
artificial light filter, just to get a look at it
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Susan
Anspach. Various shower caps
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Susan
Anspach. Lovemaking scene. Her breast is in the
light, but you can't see her face at all.
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Montenegro.
Patricia Gelin. You may have seen caps of this
scene where she does an exotic naked dance with a
radio controlled dildo. One of the frames shoots
right up her naughty bits.
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Montenegro.
Patricia Gelin.
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Montenegro.
Patricia Gelin.
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Montenegro.
Marina Lindahl.
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Montenegro.
Lizbeth Zachrisson.
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Mercedes
Ruehl. "The Fisher King". With all due
apologies to the Python group, this is probably
Terry Gilliam's best movie, (although some of the
others are funnier, of course). It features great
performances from this lady, Jeff Bridges, and
Robin Williams, and don't miss the ballroom scene
in Grand Central Station. This is Elya's favorite
American movie, and the all-time #1 favorite of a
couple of good friends of mine, so it really has
some true believers.
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L'Helvete
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The
Swiss Dude has some great material for us again
this week, none of it related to Army Knives. The
first group is from "Trop (peu)
d'amour", and this is Alexia Stresi. I don't
think this movie is available on DVD, so the
quality here is very impressive for caps from a
VCR.
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"Trop
(peu) d'amour", Alexia Stresi. The movie is
roughly translated as "Too much (little)
love". It was nominated for a "Best
Director" award at the 1998 Berlin Film
festival. Jacques Doillon has been at at for 25
years now, and was nominated for a Cesar in 1990
as director of "Le petit criminal".
Another film of his, "Ponette", won the
1997 NY Film Critics Award as best foreign film,
and was honored at several festivals. Doillon's
son, Lou, was in this film. The boy's pedigree is
strong - mother is screen legend Jane Birkin
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"Trop
(peu) d'amour", Alexia Stresi. I don't know
of any other movies she was in.
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"Trop
(peu) d'amour", Alexia Stresi and Elise
Perrier. they are in the water together. (Perrier
water?)
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"Trop
(peu) d'amour", Elise Perrier. I don't know
of any other movies for her either, I guess
because inventing water kept her too busy.
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"Trop
(peu) d'amour", Elise Perrier.
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Florence
Darel in "Farinet heros et hors-la-loi"
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Florence
Darel in "Farinet heros et
hors-la-loi". This is a 1991 movie directed
by Ivan Butler, which is ignored by the IMDb, and
of which I know nothing.
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RDO
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What
better place to search for screen nudity than in
the DVD of "Last Tango". The movie was
the subject of heated debate. Conservatives were
outraged by the sex scenes, and "pass the
butter" took its place beside "squeal
like a pig" as an instantly recognizable
euphemistic movie reference for a certain sexual
practice. Other critics accepted the sex scenes,
but blasted the dark, boring, actionless story.
Still others hailed it as a groundbreaking
masterpiece. I think you would find the truth in
the middle of the road. It may not be a fully
realized masterpiece, but it's sometimes a
powerful movie, and it featured arguably the
greatest performance ever captured on film. Many
great critics, like Pauline Kael and Roger Ebert,
have called Brando the greatest screen actor of
all time, and this could be his most controlled
and honest performance. He has a
"dialogue" with his dead wife, beside
her bier, that had me in tears. He just had all
that pain and despair and confusion right out
there. It's something to see - all the acting
technique disappears and he just becomes that
guy. He actually performs the first part of the
film in French, although people have told me he
has a very strange accent, even by American
standards. As for the sex scenes - they aren't
really about sex, but about power and
manipulation and despair. Brando uses Schneider
as an instrument to act out his feelings about
the suicide of his wife. Here is the scene where
Brando uses the buttered buns.
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"Ultimo
tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider. Bertolucci
himself has had a career as diverse as the
reviews of this movie. 1900 and The Last Emperor
really can be called masterpieces, although there
is no unanimity on this issue. On the other hand,
The Sheltering Sky is a lame, superficial
adaptation of a deep and complex novel. I still
say the range record is held by Franklin
Schaffner, who made "Yes, Georgio" (a
legitimate nominee as the worst movie ever), and
"Patton" (a reasonable choice as one's
favorite movie, and currently in the IMDb top
100). Schaffner's rating range in the IMDb goes
from 5.1 to 8.1, while Bertolucci only varies
from 6.9 to 8.7. IMDb viewers liked Sheltering
Sky much more than I did. Just
in passing, the narrowest range must go to Soviet
filmmaker Andrei Tarkovsky, who has no film rated
below 8.0. If they had enough votes to qualify
for the list, every one of his films would rank
higher than Wizard of Oz, which is number 33 of
all time. Don't go out and rent them, boys. I've
seen a few of his movies, and they're not for
everyone. His pacing makes Ingmar Bergman look
like an action director. Philosophical and
artistic, but strictly art-house stuff.
The
most consistent in the other direction has to be
John Derek, late husband of Bo and other gorgeous
women, who has no movie rated higher than 4.3.
Let me put that in perspective. Plan 9 from Outer
Space got a 4.3. and John Derek never cleared
that hurdle. And the sad thing is that he was a
lot better director than actor! Dust off one of
those lifetime achievement awards for that guy.
On the other hand, given a choice of a lifetime
of brilliant filmmaking or a lifetime of screwing
Andress, Evans, and Bo, most of us probably feel
he drew the winning hand. Did you know that he
and Bo were married more than 20 years?
Back
to the point, here's the scene where Brando gets
the butter and greases her up.
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"Ultimo
tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider. Just
before the sink scene, Schneider looks for
Brando's ID.
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"Ultimo
tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider. She sulks
by the sink.
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"Ultimo
tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider. More of
the sink scene
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"Ultimo
tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider. She sites
naked on the sink.
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"Ultimo
tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider. Brando
grabs her from the sink and spins her around,
thereby showing us some fun stuff
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"Ultimo
tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider. Brando
bathes her while she stands
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"Ultimo
tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider. Brando
bathes her while she reclines in the tub.
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"Ultimo
tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider. She dries
off.
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"Ultimo
tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider. The
sitting lovemaking
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"Ultimo
tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider, relaxing
on her back.
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"Ultimo
tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider, recounting
her dream.
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"Ultimo
tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider. Her
masturbation scene
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"Ultimo
tango a Parigi", Maria Schneider. Brando
takes her.
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PAL
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PAL's
search for new material brought us a couple more
treasures this week. Here's Barbara Carrera in
"Point of Impact".
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Saturday's Stuff with Scoopy Jr |
Political Silliness
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Sr.
sent this over to me earlier. I enjoyed it, and I
think you will too!
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From Aesthete
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You
can see her on the big screen with Buffy in
"Cruel Inattentions", or save yourself
8.50 and see Reese Witherspoon here for almost
nothin' in these topless DVD 'caps from the movie
"Twilight".
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DVD
'caps of Reese Witherspoon from the movie
"Twilight" #2.
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DVD
'caps of Reese Witherspoon from the movie
"Twilight" #3.
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DVD
'caps of Reese Witherspoon from the movie
"Twilight" #4.
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DVD
'caps of Reese Witherspoon from the movie
"Twilight" #5.
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A
special bonus! No worries Susan Sarandon fans!
Even though Reese has the younger more shapely
body, Aesthete didn't overlook one of Hollywood's
favorite red heads! Most frames show off her
posterior side. (or possibly a stunt butt?)
However.....
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...This
last one does have a topless, albeit blurry
vidcap of Ms. Sarandon topless. (Scoop's note:
sarandon's scenes are known to be body doubles)
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More From Italian
Beauty
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Thank
you everyone, especially IB himself for helping
me identify my favorite of his gallery yesterday.
For those who didn't know her...she is Elenoire
Casalegno. Here is one more of her to add to the
collection.
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I
couldn't help myself...here is a second helping
of yesterday's Elenoire Casalegno images.
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Elenoire
Casalegno #3.
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Now
this is a real treat! A B-movie Euro actress!
Here is Veronica Logan. It may seem silly to our
viewers overseas, but basically any actress in a
movie with an accent is considered to be a good
actress by Americans. We just don't know any
better sometimes. So it's nice to see someone
pointing us in the right direction. After all,
A-list actors stick around for ever...But it's
the B-babes that show the skin, and make up the
back bone of the Fun House!
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Veronica
Logan #2.
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From Abys
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I
have never heard of this lovely, and looking at
her filmography, neither has anybody else.
Regardless, she's not too shabby, and Abys did a
great job on these 'caps. Here is Stephanie
Swinney in "Blood Run".
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Stephanie
Swinney in "Blood Run" #2.
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Stephanie
Swinney in "Blood Run" #3.
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From Crow
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Need
a Bimbo fix? You can always count on Crow! Here
is Gabriella Hall, buck nekkid from "Love Me
Twice 2". On a side note....the IMDb
currently lists her as being born in 1898 and
departing this good Earth in 1967. Indeed.
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Gabriella
Hall in "Love me Twice 2" #2.
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Gabriella
Hall in "Love me Twice 2" #3.
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New
on video...here are 'caps from one of the sequels
to "From Dusk Till Dawn". Here is the
busty Maria Checa.
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This
sequel is" From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas
Blood Money". It's not the
"official" sequel (due later this year,
and co-written by Robert Rodriguez), it's just
one of those straight-to-video deals. But in my
book, Bruce Campbell is a hero, and since he's
the star...that makes this "official"
to me!
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One
more of Maria Checa in the shower.
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