Confetti is an offbeat British mockumentary in the Chris Guest fashion, combining laughs with sentiment and apparently employing quite a bit of improv.

The premise this time is that a British bridal magazine is looking for a new hook in its annual "wedding of the year" issue. After all, classic white dresses all look alike, and the traditional format is tired, so this year the magazine will reward the most original wedding with their June cover. The process begins with auditions. They advertise the concept and invite long lines of people to bring their ideas to an expert panel of judges, reminiscent of the first round of American Idol. From the various loony concepts, they settle on three:

  • A tennis theme
  • A Broadway musical theme
  • A naturist theme

These three ideas are to be developed by professional wedding planners, and all three weddings will be held together in a vast arena as a media event, with celebrity judges picking the grand prize winner.

Things seem to go poorly. The tennis partners are unsympathetic. The Broadway couple and their family don't seem to be very musical. Worst of all, the magazine's lawyers decide that the nudist wedding ain't gonna happen. No nudes in the arena. No nudes in the magazine.

In a manner somewhat reminiscent of Guest's Best in Show, things work out much better than planned. The weddings have their bright spots, and we learn to like the three couples much more than we thought we would (well two of them, anyway).

While the film is not a complete failure, it doesn't really work. There's probably a good lesson here for filmmakers. Unless your name is Guest, you should probably try to make your mockumentary either zany or emotionally resonant, but not both. It is no simple task to develop sympathetic characters while ridiculing them. I can't think of many people how have been able to employ Guest's techniques successfully and even the master himself had a recent misfire (For Your Consideration). In addition to the structural problems inherent in the technique, the film just isn't very funny, so it plays out less like a comedy than an irritating drama with annoying characters. I found myself quite bored quite often.

There is a ton of nudity from the naturist couple and their friends. Full frontal, full rear, male, female. Whatever you might see in a nudist camp. Unfortunately, the nudists do not look like professional actors and models, but like real nudists. In other words, they could pass as a random sampling of Wal-Mart customers. Olivia Colman, who plays the naked bride, has a fairly pretty face, but ... well ... why be mean? You can see everything for yourself if you care to. I don't especially recommend it.



* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.







Natural Born Killers

Natural Born Killers (1994) is an Oliver Stone film based on a story by Quentin Tarantino and starring Woody Harrelson and Juliette Lewis as mass murderers. They meet, kill a whole bunch of people, go to prison, escape, and raise a nice family. The policeman who made catching them a vendetta (Tom Sizemore) prepared himself for the battle by choking a prostitute to death.

So much for the plot.

Harrelson and Lewis are fine in the film. Even as strange as it was, they sold their characters, but any plot I can summarize in less than a line of text is pretty much a throwaway, and I saw no message to the film. Tarantino is reportedly unhappy about what Oliver Stone did to his story. Stone, not known for restraint anyway, chose to use B&W, color, multiple film stocks, animated sequences, and a constantly rotating horizon to film this one. Viewed as a workbook of odd camera techniques, it was much too long at 118 minutes. 

This is a C to C-.

Some people were impressed. Ebert, in awarding four stars, had a theory as to what all of this meant. He saw it as an allegory for the OJ trial, demonstrating that we have become jaded and are no longer affected by violence. Berardinelli, in awarding 1.5 stars, was as unimpressed as I was.

IMDb readers say 6.8.



 Lorraine Farris, as the hooker killed by the cop, shows breasts.


Juliette Lewis has a nipple slip.










Bad City

The Time Machine is parked today as we look at Bad City, aka Dirty Work. Meghan Maureen McDonough shows breasts in bed after having sex. Caps and three clips









Red Road

Jackie (Kate Dickie), a CCTV operator remotely surveying the movements of people in a run-down part of Glasgow. She is introduced as a lonely figure whose only human interaction away from the workplace is semi-regular passionless sex with a married man. One night, as well as the dog-owner and dancing cleaner she usually watches over, she spots a shifty character from her past, Clyde (Tony Curran). From that moment her empty life is filled with an obsession to confront him. We are kept enthralled as Jackie follows, both on CCTV and in person in his life, appearing at his house party and following him into pubs and cafes.


Kate Dickie








More of Kate Dickie in Red Road!
Megan Dodds in The Contract
Christina Ricci in Black Snake Moan
April Pearson in Skins, s1e7
Caroline Proust in Scorpion
Martina Gedeck in Elementarteilchen
Nina Hoss in Elementarteilchen
unknown in Elementarteilchen
Deborah Secco in Meu Tio Matou Um Cara
Elena Tecuta in Van Wilder 2: Unrated
Lauren Cohan in Van Wilder 2: Unrated
Holly Davidson in Van Wilder 2: Unrated (body double)






Notes and collages

"Farscape" - Part 10

Season 2, Ep 8

Gigi Edgley, S2, Ep 8

Virginia Hey, S2, Ep 8






A very sexy scene: Rosie Perez in Do The Right Thing
Shannon Whirry in Prophet's Game. Whatever happened to her? She just disappeared for years and years. IMDb shows that she is in a 2007 movie in production, her first credit since 2001! She's 43 now.
Marisa Tomei pulls a Britney. Well, I suppose not. She seems to have panties on. Let's call it a partial Britney.
The usual daily Lohan picture
Some of the famous Vanessa Williams "I wish I hadn't done these" pictures






Pat's comments in yellow...

Alberto Gonzales, the first Mexican-American Attorney General, is reportedly under heavy pressure to resign.

* Bush found a Guatemalan guy who'll do the job even cheaper.

The State Education Agency found that one-third of Washington, DC, is functionally illiterate.

* There are three branches of government, so guess which one it is!

A 35-year-old Orlando man was thought dead after he jumped off a Carnival Cruise ship, but he was rescued alive after drifting for eight hours in the Atlantic because he weighs 300 pounds and his fat kept him insulated and floating.

* Tragically, just as he was being hauled to safety, some Japanese whalers harpooned him.

On this day in 1727, Sir Isaac Newton, the discover of gravity, died in London.  Also on this date in 1969, John Lennon married Yoko Ono.

*  So both men discovered an all-controlling force they could never escape.