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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

Junior is on a mini-working-sorta-vacation, so I'm writing the page for a bit. He's in Amsterdam with some buds, the lucky dog, but will resume writing the page from Europe in a day or two, assuming he doesn't discover brown cafes.


  • A conversation starter. What were the most important fictional characters created after 1900? Here is NPR's list (1. Jay Gatsby 2. Holden Caulfield). The only character from the last two decades to make the list is Harry Potter. I guess they published that list before reading this article from Reuter's yesterday: 

Novels, Maybe by Saddam, Set for Release

BAGHDAD (Reuters) - The Baghdad press announced Wednesday that two new novels, which Iraqi writers believe to be written by President Saddam Hussein, will be issued soon.

I certainly have my copies reserved.

  • The French Photo website did a profile on Emma Sjoberg. (To keep reading once you get there, click on "suite")

Hey, Scoop:

 I just heard that Shae-Lynn Bourne of the Canadian Ice-Dance team of Bourne & Kraatz popped out of her outfit during the short program at the current  World Figure Skating Championships. Anyone got pix?

YUP (1, 2)

Just curious if you know of anyone that got scans of Joely Fisher crawling around with her breasts hanging out on the talking baby show from Monday night?

Haven't seen 'em yet.


The New York Post has some advice for Hollywood wives: Fear the curse of Penelope Cruz. Her cinematic history shows that the Spanish sexpot's leading men tend to lose their wives and girlfriends when they star in movies with her. The latest was Tom Cruise's public unloading of Nicole Kidman while filming "Vanilla Sky" opposite Cruz. Before that, Nic Cage announced plans to divorce Patricia Arquette while shooting "Captain Corelli's Mandolin" with Cruz. Still earlier, Matt Damon forgot all about Winona Ryder immediately after wrapping up "All the Pretty Horses." The British actress Sadie Frost, the Post says, might want to be extra careful now that her husband, Jude Law, is set to share the screen with Cruz in "Diary of a Young London Physician." Insiders say Cruz just signed on to the project.

PAMELA ANDERSON has been diagnosed as having contracted the Hepatitis C virus. Pam says she got it from sharing a tattoo needle with Tommy Lee. Tommy claims that is a bullshit allegation intended to prejudice the court in their custody battle. I believe they are fighting over custody of their MENSA memorabilia. Story here

Here's a little more on the detention of Lolo Ferrari's husband in the investigation of her death


There is no nudity in the strange Donnie Darko. It's a frigging Jake Gyllenhaal film festival here today. I notice that Tuna did Highway. I have a feeling that Darko is a tad better.


Here are the latest movie reviews available at

  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


"Highway" (2001)

Highway (2001) is a grunge road movie. Jared Leto is caught screwing Kimberley Kates by her gangster husband, and has to flee Las Vegas. He convinces his best friend, Jake Gyllenhaal, to go with him. Jake wants to see an old flame who has moved to Seattle, so off they go, the day after Kurt Cobain committed suicide, and with the bad guys in pursuit. Along the way, they encounter standard road problems, like rescuing a runaway hooker (Selma Blair), and saving the "alligator boy." By the time they get to Seattle, they are four -- Jake, Jared, Selma, and an aging hippie.

I don't like grunge, I couldn't understand about half of what they said, they spend much of their time stoned, and the plot wasn't compelling. The high point occurred early, when Kates shows breasts and bush while screwing Jared. IMDB readers say 5.8 of 10, and I give C-. I have seen far better buddy road movies.


  • Thumbnails


    • Kimberley Kates ( 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 )


    "Life as a House" (2001)

    Life as a House (2001) is a weepy dying man character-based comedy/drama. Kevin Kline is fired from his job building models from an architectural firm, and is diagnosed with terminal cancer the same day. He decides to build a house, involving his son, who lives with his ex, to try and turn the kid around, and earn his love. The kid is anti-social, has been using every drug imaginable since he was 12, and turns gay tricks when he needs spare change. Due to the therapeutic aspects of building a house together, the kid turns around, Kline's ex falls in love with him again, and everybody in the movie becomes a better person.

    The exposure is from Mary Steenburgen, who shows buns and a hint of breast after nearly being caught screwing her daughters boyfriend by her daughter. Hayden Christensen, as Kline's son, was superb. Many liked his film. The IMDB score is 7.7 of 10. Ebert says 2 1/2 stars, while Beraedinelli gives a full three. I give it a C. Those who like weepy dying man movies will be on familiar ground here.


  • Thumbnails


  • Brainscan

    Long weekend, Mrs. Brainscan was away and the shop ran itself.  Result? Dozens of vidcap collages, hundreds of scans.  Let's do the caps today.

    First off, some original stuff.  From Night Eyes, Shannon Tweed in her prime and Lisa Saxton.  Several things to mention 'bout Lisa: she did the nekkid things in a couple of movies (then several Hefmag lingerie-type magazine thingees) but there isn't a hint of her in the  Encyclopedia.  This is dangerous, when a babe isn't in the Encyclopedia.  It indicates a rip in the time-space continuum, so let's stitch up that one with another collages.

     The second collage includes three frames shot from Nebraska whilst the grappling couple was in Kansas.  Why such a long shot, you ask?  Well, guys it was a bit more suggestive in the moving frames but there is some  indication that Lisa and her friend might have been conjugating verbs on  camera.  Particularly the verb "to love."  Or maybe not.  What we need here  is a DVD.

    Another collage is of B movie bim Roxanne Kernohan in Phoenix, the Warrior. Phoenix was played by uber-babe Kathleen Kinmont, but she kept the clothes on.

    Next up is the last of the stuff from Tuna's capture of Timegate: Tales of  the Saddletramps.  Babe of the day is Taimie Hannum (1,2,3,4,5, 6).   I was not especially  fond of Taimie until Tuna sent me these, but I converted on the spot: she looks terrific in this movie.  Stitched together 33 frames in six easy-carrying packages.  Boobs in all of them, a small hint of bush but  other frames make it clear Taimie was wearing some sort of patch,  Sheesh.

    The next batch includes a mixture of caps, most of which I pulled off usenet and then played with for a while.  These include:

    • Charlie Spradling's exuberant bod in Mirror, Mirror.  Nice bum and partial  breasts in the shower.
    • Christina Hart in Umpire's caps from Games Girls Play.  True story: I was 13  when the aged P's, their friends and I went on the road trip from hell. Stopped one night at a hotel that carried Cinemax; the adults went to the  bar and left me by my lonesome, but there on that cable channel was this  movie.  At that point, I would have sold my mother to the gypsies for Christina Hart.
    • Former Miss USA Deborah Shelton in DonJuan's captures of Blind Vision.  I stitched together a couple of frames to get the image on the left.
    • Goldie Hawn and her wonderful bum in There's a Girl in My Soup.
    •  Michelle Johnson in Blame It On Rio.  These are caps from the  under-represented, topless on the beach at night scene.  Spent about a week trying to get the frames looking as good as the young Ms. Johnson deserved.
    • Mimi Rogers in a NAP single frame from Rapture.  This is the only frame I've seen from this movie that captures both of Mimi's megahooters.
    • And Monica Belluci in a montage of two frames from Malena.  The result is a  full frontal of Miss Monica, and that ain't nothin' to sneeze at.
    Last up is Avalon Anders and her robohooters in a Beverly Hills Bordello episode, entitled, "What Your Wife Won't Do."  This was planned as a 30  minute episode but turned into miniseries that stretched over 9 hours.  It  include vignettes entitled, "Agreeing with something I had to say", "Telling me something I wanted to hear", "Watching a video without asking me the dumbest damn questions you can possibly think of". Oh there were more, but I am sure you guys saw every last one of them and  nodded sadly with each. One more of Avalon


    Scoop, we continue with Cheri Caffaro in "Girls are for Loving". Today she concludes her fight scene on the beach (she wins). Then it's on to a love scene with the boyfriend. The best is yet  to come.

    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)


    Here's two images of German Nadeshda Brennicke in "Vor meiner Zeit". (1,2)


    And two images also of Janina Sachau in "Requiem fur eine romantische Frau". (1,2)


    From the master of the runway. Each collage includes at least some nudity of the see-through variety.


    Mini Anden
    Erin O'Connor
    Fernanda Tavares
    Ana Claudia Michels
    Ana Claudia Michels
    Maggie Rizer
    Carmen Kass
    Anouck Lepere
    Ana Beatriz Barros
    Liisa Winkler
    Jacquetta Wheeler
    Jacquetta Wheeler


    Patsy Kensit (1,2)

    "Angels and Insects"

    Lena Olin (1,2,3,4,5,6) "Romeo is Bleeding"

    Juliette Lewis (1,2) "Romeo is Bleeding"

    Barbara Hershey (1,2,3,4) "Boxcar Bertha"


    Aurora Robles

    Fashion magazine covers today. This is the only one with any nudity.

    Adriana Karembeu

    Nova Meierhenrich

    Jennifer Lopez

    Cathrin Stenshagen

    Estella Warren

    Nieves Alvarez

    Teresa Lourenco

    Erin O'Connor


    Cheryl Ladd

    her famous swimming scene in Now and Forever. She may be naked, but if she is, you can't see jack straws.

    Renate Langer "Die Story" (new from UC99)

    Summer Phoenix Topless in "Esther Kahn"

    Lisa Martinek "Der Mann von nebenan" (new from UC99)

    Estella Warren The original paparazzi pics from the Voici article

    Lou Doillon The Eres ad featuring the daughter of Jane Birkin in a see-through bra.

    Sigourney Weaver The VHS of the movie "Map of the World" was a full-frame 4:3, while the DVD was a soft-matted widescreen anamorphic transfer. In other words, you can see the same amount left to right on the VHS as on the DVD, but you can see more top to bottom - info that the director or DP never intended you to see when he framed his theatrical "box" - in this case some of Sigourney's naughty bits which were not visible on the DVD

    Alexandra Paul (1,2) The former Baywatch co-star in Sunset Grill. Believe it or not, I once reviewed this preposterous grade-z movie, in which we learn that it's OK to remove the hearts from living Mexicans, because they are descended from Aztecs, thus culturally prepared for it! Well, it's OK if we do it for as good cause, like placing the young healthy hearts into rich, white Americans! Surprisingly, the author was left off the nominating list for that year's Nobel Peace Prize as well as the Oscars.

    Barbara Hershey (1,2,3,4) Barbara is the player of the week here in the Fun House. Tuna and I did her in Boxcar Bertha earlier in the week, and Penman added some more today.

    In these four pictures, she appears in The Pursuit of Happiness.

    Pat Reeder The Comedy Wire
    Pat's comments in yellow...


    Scoop, This one, you have to see to appreciate.

    The following from IMDB today.  No female nudity, but if seeing Ewan McGregor's light saber turns you on, you'll enjoy this one.  Personally, I'd rather see a shaved Wookie...

    Ewan McGregor Happy To Carry On Stripping
    Actor Ewan McGregor is keeping his adoring fans happy - he plans to keep stripping on screen. The Star Wars actor is known for taking risque roles like those in The Pillow Book and Velvet Goldmine, and admits he enjoys exposing himself - because it makes him feel "powerful". He says, "Being naked was far more worrying for everyone else on the set than it was for me. Everyone's trying not to look. I actually enjoyed it, the truth be told. There was something incredibly powerful about it, like swimming naked. Usually you'd get arrested for that sort of thing, but I got paid!"

    This next one is of more interest to us heteros.  If the Taliban caught you carrying a vidcap of Kate Winslet's nude scene in "Titanic," I wonder if they'd cut off your right hand?  Boy, talk about a punishment worse than stoning!...

    Winslet A Pin-up In Afghanistan
    Kate Winslet has become a secret pin-up in Afghanistan. The actress' Titanic role became an underground hit in Afghanistan, where watching western films was outlawed under the strict Taliban regime. American broadcaster Diane Sawyer told Winslet, a guest on American breakfast show Good Morning America, she had seen posters of the actress as Rose in Titanic during a recent trip to Afghanistan and asked locals to explain why the actress was everywhere. Sawyer said, "They all knew exactly who you were. They had been hiding videos of you in food bags, under their pillows and passing them from hand to hand. They said it was one of the things that
    sustained them to be able to share Titanic during all those years." Winslet remarked, "That's so amazing. That makes me want to cry. It reconfirms that Titanic was enormous." The British Oscar-nominated actress admits she too has come to realise how big Titanic has become - even in the most remote places. She adds, "I remember being in India soon after it had been released and I was walking in the foothills of the Himalayas researching another job. An old man, who must have been 90-years-old, just looked up at me and said, 'You, Titanic.' I was in the middle of nowhere."

    Alicia Silverstone no longer looks like a cow because she now lives by grazing on hay.  Ironic, ain't it?...

    Alicia Loves Her Vegan Diet
    Alicia Silverstone has stopped worrying about her weight because being a vegan has made it tough for her to get fat. The actress, who became an obsessive dieter after she was dubbed "really fat" in her role as Batgirl in Batman & Robin, insists she now eats whatever and whenever she wants - thanks to her vegan diet. She says, "I always used to have to worry about how I looked. I became insane about the way I looked. I freaked out and I decided screw that, I'm going to eat whatever I want whenever I want. I highly recommend doing that. I became a vegan and I knew I'd start taking care of health issues as well as personal ethical issues. Three weeks after I started the diet the weight started to fall off and I don't ever have to worry about my figure ever again. They even make vegan doughnuts and vegan
    cookies now."

    These last two I just find interesting.  One of the contenders for King of the Funhouse, Joey Tribiani, may get his own show...

    Friends' Joey Set For Spin-off
    Friends favorite Joey Tribiani is set to become a permanent fixture on TV screens - if plans for a Frasier-style spin-off series are approved. The lovable bungling lothario, played by heart-throb Matt LeBlanc, will be "definitely less dumb" and will be living in Los Angeles, continuing to try and make it as an actor. LeBlanc, 34, is said to be extremely excited about the project, if it should come together when Friends finishes. According to Britain's The Mirror newspaper, a source says, "He gets a job in a Dynasty series as the playboy son but it's cancelled after the first episode." This would not be LeBlanc's first spin-off. He and Joseph Bologna headed the cast of a short-lived Married... With Children spin-off called Top Of The Heap.

    Finally, Susan Sarandon slams the SATs because her kid is having a hard time getting a score higher than her body temperature.  Could it be the problem is not with the test but with the fact that the poor kid inherited her ability to think from Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon?...

    Sarandon Blasts American Exams
    Actress Susan Sarandon is upset with America's SAT college entrance exam system - because it isn't a true indication of how bright a teenager is. Sarandon's daughter Eva, 17, is currently in the middle of SAT hell and is having to retake the stressful exam because she was too ill to do it justice the first time around. Sarandon says, "She's so stressed about having to take her SATs and it's a horrible system. It's so unnatural. You go into this room and you can't drink water for fear you might have written something on the bottle. She was sick, her nose was dripping onto her test score. She was so ill and now she has to take it again. It's just not a good indication."