The Postman Always Rings Twice (1981) is the second attempt to bring the depression era classic novel by James M. Caine to the screen. The first, in 1946, was made during a pro censorship pendulum swing, making it impossible to do justice to the novel. For this reason, the director doesn't think of this as a remake, but rather as a proper interpretation. I, for one agree. Jessica Lange plays the waitress/cook/wife of a Greek restaurant and filling station owner, who is trapped in a loveless marriage. Jack Nicholson is a drifter and petty swindler who wanders through to con them out of a free meal. The Greek owner sees him as a mechanic for his station, and, when Jack sees Jessica, he agrees.

It isn't long before Jack and Jessica find exactly what they want in a heated sexual encounter on the kitchen table. There are a few problems with the romance. First, there is the matter of a husband. Second, Nicholson isn't really the husband type. After several abortive attempts to run off together, Nicholson and Lange plot to kill her husband. There are many twists and turns from there.

Maltin hates this film, at 1 1/2 stars. He does admit that the violent sex between Nicholson and Lange is very hot, and that seems to be one of his objections. There are no other English language reviews available. I enjoyed this film at lot. It was well-shot, and the performances were uniformly excellent. The chemistry was good between Nicholson and Lange, and Anjelica Huston plays a small role as a lion tamer whom Nicholson sleeps with.

Huston shows her left breast and nipple from the side. Lange shows only see through and pokies, but her sex scenes ignite the screen anyway. This is more of a character driven drama than anything else. Using that as a genre, I give it a C+.

New to DVD

Bummers. (Some better movies came out today - Dancer in the Dark, The Tao of Steve, and Remember the Titans, but I worked on nudity first. I'll get to the others in a bit.)

Dennis Hopper in another grade-c, this time, The Apostate. It took two years just to get this one to video. I watched it on VHS, but there is a DVD, and I'll get a copy just for the nudity, which is great. Two beauitiful women, stark naked in clear light for prolonged periods. As for the movie, it's a bummer, dudes. While you wait for DVD caps, here are some VHS samples.

• Bridget White (1, 2)

• Johanna Quintero

The Jude Law new-age vampire film, The Wisdom of Crocodiles. As I thought, the widescreen version does show Elina Lowensohn's breasts. She is a doll. She speaks some garbled, mangled language which sounds something like English, and I had to watch her scenes with the close-captioning for the hearing impaired, but she looks like Audrey Hepburn with a more feminine body, and that's a good thing.

• Elina Lowensohn (1, 2, 3)

IMHO Reform School Girls has the second best shower/locker room scene of all time. On the Brainscan list are Carrie, Invisible Maniac, Savage Streets (if'n you haven't seen that 25 second/12 girl clip you just haven't lived) and the A-number one scene with both shower and locker room: Private School for Girls.

So what, other than bullshit, do I have to offer today. Appropriately enough: vidcaps. First a few collages of my own from raw caps I had sitting on the hard drive. Tis Josephine Jacqueline Jones, former beauty queen in Black Venus. UC99 capped this treasure a while back but JJ's majestic arse deserved even greater attention. The largest cap is a montage made of pieces in a slow scan from head to toe and the second woman in the last collage is French babe and Brainscan cult figure, Florence Guerin. Damn, boys, but ain't life good.