Deadfall (1993) should have been named Dreadful. It is a confidence game within a confidence game flick written and directed by Christpher Coppola, with a cast that includes Nicolas Cage, Michael Biehn, Sarah Trigger, James Coburn, Peter Fonda, Charlie Sheen and Talia Shire. The story is engaging, full of interesting characters, and with some nice plot twists. Trigger shows breasts in a lengthy nude scene, as do two strippers. Hard to imagine how it could be that bad, isn't it?
I have never seen a film where the problem was more obvious or came from a less likely source. Sure, there were some minor defects, like a little too much narration, and some of the minor characters could have been fleshed out more, but those would have been forgivable. The problem is an over-the-top performance from Nicolas Cage. He didn't just chew the scenery, he digested it, then squatted and crapped in the middle of the set. In a short featurette included on the DVD, Cage admitted that he gave a totally unrestrained performance. Cage doesn't bear the entire blame for this, however. Coppola's job should have been to reel him in. Cage's performance was so over-the-top that I cheered his death by deep fat frying, but was at the same time angry that it wasn't more violent and painful. Unfortunately, it was too late to enjoy the rest of the film.
Cage, whose real name is Coppola, is Christopher Coppola's brother, both nephews to Francis Ford Coppola. Perhaps there is something in that relationship that explains how this happened. Cage was established, with a great track record. Coppola was a new director with one major flop under his belt. There was no clue in the featurette as to why Coppola did not direct Cage. I can only assume that he felt Cage was the pro, and trusted his judgement. I wasn't on the set. Anything I said regarding "why" would be conjecture. What I do know is that Cage ruined what could have been a decent film, and that Coppola let him. Since Cage has proven ability, one might surmise that Coppola is at fault. At any rate, the performance is really that glaringly awful.
IMDb readers have this at 2.8 of 10. As it was technically competent, the lowest score I can give using our system is a D-. There is no US release date listed at IMDb.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia (1974):
"For something so
bleak, so purposely revolting and unsentimental, there are
reservoirs of profound poetry in Alfredo Garcia, the
only film that Peckinpah ever considered completely his
Well, I don't know about those reservoirs of profound poetry, but
there is plenty of truly twisted shit - and that's what's really
important. A good rule of thumb in this movie is this: if there is a
woman on screen, it is only a matter of a minute or so before she is
raped or beaten.
The film begins with a powerful and evil Mexican landowner
confronting his pregnant daughter about the identity of the baby's
father. She won't sing, so he has her stripped in front of the
servants and neighbors. She still won't sing, so he starts breaking
her fingers until somebody finally starts singin' like a canary.
Having secured the identity of Alfredo Garcia, a noted lothario,
Evil Papa Landowner turns to the vast crowd he has assembled for his
daughter's humiliation and announces that he will give a million
dollars for the head of Alfredo Garcia, presumably detached from the
rest of Alfredo's body. This offer causes a sudden and rapid outflow
of vehicles from the hacienda, as various competing parties dash to
the airports and take to the streets of the towns in a race to be
the first to find the young rake.
The competition basically boils
down to two teams. One is a couple of sweaty, slimy, greasy guys in
cheap suits and an old jalopy. The other is a massive corporate para-military
organization with luxurious offices populated by guys who wear
Armani suits while being fed grapes by slave girls. The lead
detectives for the sybaritic latter day Pinkertons are two very
swishy bounty hunters played by Gig Young and Robert Webber. I guess
Noel Coward and Cole Porter were busy. Let's just say these guys put
the pink back into Pinkerton, but they are two bad-tempered and
ornery sissies. At one point, Webber is sitting in a bar when a
prostitute starts to rub his crotch. He elbows her in the face and
leaves her lying unconscious on the barroom floor.
corporate suits are having no luck tracking down their million
dollar prey until they stumble into a touristy cantina and strike up
a conversation with an American (Warren Oates) who plays and sings
at the piano bar. That's right, it's Warren Oates as a lounge
pianist, probably the worst lounge pianist ever. He is pretty cool,
however. I think you have to admire the cinematic sangfroid of a guy
who doesn't take off his sunglasses to sleep or make love! Moreover,
although ol' Warren can't sing for shit, he does know a thing or two
about Alfredo Garcia, because when Big Al wasn't seducing
landowners' daughters, he was busy seducing Warren's girlfriend. Ol'
Warren figures it's a helluva deal to kill his romantic rival and
also get paid for it, so he cuts a deal to bring Al's head to the
flaming bounty hunters. Not knowing the real value of the head,
Warren is thrilled with the $10,000 he is offered for the job.
then things get complicated.
First of all, Warren finds out from
his girlfriend that there will be no need to kill Al, since the
rural Casanova recently died in an auto crash, and has already been
buried. Warren figures that's even better, because it's much easier
to cut the head off a dead body than a live one, so he and his
crab-infested girlfriend make a long road trip in their beat-up car
through the dirt roads of rural Mexico to the remote cemetery. Along
the way, they sing, drink and shoot livestock. Warren finds out that
there are some significant obstacles in his path to the head of
- Remember the two pasty, greasy guys in the stained suits? They
haven't given up.
- There are some violent rapist bikers out in the countryside.
- Al's family is really not pleased with the whole grave-robbing
- The two poofy Pinkertons are still out there guarding their
In the course of the adventure, Warren loses his girlfriend and
ends up in a permanent drunken stupor, his only friend a
fly-encrusted, decomposing hunk of human flesh with which he
maintains a running conversation, their relationship a violent
trailer-trash echo of Tom Hanks and Wilson the Volleyball.
guess I'm not spoiling it too much to say that the adventure
finally ends up with Warren face-to-face with Señor Evil
Landowner. Warren carries the decaying head, and Evil Dude carries
a suitcase filled with a million dollars. Warren is in the
hacienda alone, and Evil Dude is guarded by a bunch of guys that
look like the extras from Viva Zapata! You just know it's gonna be
Despite the paeans written to Peckinpah in recent times, I
have to tell you that this film has a lot of problems. There are
great scenes, memorable scenes, but there are some scenes that
just drag on interminably and accomplish nothing. The Kris
Kristofferson sequence is completely unrelated to the rest
of the film. As if that weren't a big enough problem, it involves
Kris Kristofferson! That entire section should really have been be
cut to make the film move forward better. Some of the scenes with
Oates and his girlfriend, like the one of them picnicking in the
countryside, were necessary to establish the genuine tenderness
between them, but dragged on and on and on, to a point where I was
fast-forwarding until the plot re-started.
The only thing that
really distinguishes this film from an exercise in mindless
violence is the Warren Oates character. He starts out as a total
washout, a guy willing to do anything for a buck, and in the
course of the film discovers that he does believe in something.
First he finds that he really loves his girlfriend, then he is
driven to despair when she dies, and then he is driven to exact
his private concept of justice for her death. When he gets a
chance to take the million dollars and walk out scot-free, he
remembers all the people who died for the head, including his
girlfriend, and he explodes in a paroxysm of righteous rage and
revenge, money be damned. Peckinpah's script and Oates's
performance do manage to achieve something truly remarkable.
Although Warren is every bit as big a slimebucket as his rivals,
and a less competent one to boot, the audience manages to bond
with him, root for him, and even admire the integrity he achieves
in his own low-rent way. He is a genuine anti-hero far distanced
from the glamorize surrogates that came out of Hollywood before
him. Bogart's Rick, for example, is a man with a callous exterior
only half-heartedly masking his idealistic principles, a guy who
is not really an anti-hero, but simply a real hero waiting to cast
off his secret identity. He is a man we can love and admire. We
would like him for a friend. Breaking sharply from that
sentimentality, the Oates character is a true anti-hero. Not only
do we not want him for a friend, but he hope we never have to meet
him, especially in close quarters. We know he would exude a foul
smell of alcohol, medical neglect, and careless hygiene. If we saw
him walking toward us, we'd cross the street to avoid him. If we
saw him walking down the bus aisle and we had an empty seat beside
us, we'd move, just in case. There is no way we could possibly
root for this guy.
Yet we do.
Credit Peckinpah's unique genius for that dubious but
astoundingly powerful achievement.
- Janine Maldonado (1,
- Isela Vega (1,
Not even a beautiful woman dancing topless can stop traffic in
As linked beneath, Jordan Matter has been photographing
topless women in downtown New York. Here are his pictures!
Dear Oakland, welcome to reality. North Carolina
scored 59 in the first half, and built the lead to 79-42 in
the third quarter before emptying their bench. They ended up
playing 15 different guys, but still scored 96, despite only
16 in the fourth period.
Holy moley! Bucknell defeats Kansas! No, not in
chess. In basketball. Bucknell has been playing Division I
basketball for 110 years, and this is their first NCAA
- Bar bet of the day. The three oldest Division 1
basketball programs are Bucknell, Minnesota, and Yale.
Wisconsin Milwaukee does it again. First 'Bama, now Boston
College falls to the fierce ... um ... what is their team
nickname again? Oh, yeah, I found it. It's the
Wisconsin Milwaukee Cheese and Beer Dudes, and their team
colors are beery gold with a foamy white head. Kidding. It's
actually beery gold with a foaming black head, and they are
the Panthers. The Wisconsin-Madison team may also make the
Sweet 16, assuming they can defeat mighty Bucknell.
- Another one bites the dust.
Wake Forest got off to an expected 27-14 start, but ended up
losing to West Virginia in double overtime.
Firefox passes 6% market share.
Bush's popularity sinking faster than a boat in a Billy Zane
movie. His overall popularity is dropping because
of the overwhelming unpopularity of his stance on Social
Security reform. He has dropped to the second lowest point of
- (Obscure reference footnote: Zany Bill is on a sinking
ship in at least three movies: Titanic, Cleopatra, and Dead
Calm. He also plays King Neptune in a fourth boat flick, the
immortal cinema classic Going Overboard.)
Teens who pledge to remain virgins until marriage are far more
likely to have oral and anal sex. The pledging
group was also less likely to use condoms or get tested for
slant magazine's four-star review of "Showgirls".
Turns out that Joe Eszterhas, instead of being a sloppy
drunken hack who loses track of his own plot points - is
actually a satirical genius who only does that to show us the
delicious fallacies of pop culture!
Lucky the Turtle survived a fire, but emerged bearing the
image of Satan on his shell. Oh, that Satan! What a
character - picking on a turtle named Lucky! He's a funny,
How the hell did Amazon.com get spoofed on this product?
It's a computer with a thirty terabyte hard drive, two gig of
RAM, and a ten gigahertz AMD processor chip. Impressive! And
it only weighs a bit more than two ounces!
The Ring Two kicks butt with a $15 million Friday.
Disney's Ice Princess opened in fourth, with a disappointing
- URL says it all:
Former mobster-turned-chef Henry Hill, whose gangland
experiences inspired the movie 'Goodfellas,' has been charged
with felony drug possession.
The newest Elvis impersonator is ... Jerry Springer??
Frightening photo, but I love the glasses. Springer says this
is the first time he has ever sung in public.
Sean Connery to do the voice for the new James Bond video game.
Cool! We all know he's the REAL James Bond.
Say goodbye to the Sooners. Utah 67, Oklahoma 58.
Bobby Knight's Red Raiders come from behind to kick Gonzaga's
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy :: The Official Movie
The trailer for Eros
- "Eros" is a three-part anthology film about eroticism
and desire by a trio of world cinema's outstanding
directors, Wong Kar Wai, Steven Soderbergh and Michelangelo
Antonioni. The film also serves as an homage by two younger
directors, Wong and Soderbergh, to Antonioni who has
informed and inspired their work. The Italian master has
extensively examined this terrain in such classics as "L'Avventura,"
"Blowup" and "The Passenger".
"The Hand": A richly textured and achingly emotional
erotic tale about a young tailor's (Chang Chen) long-time
unrequited love for a beautiful Hong Kong courtesan (Gong
Li). Directed by Wong Kar-Wai.
"Equilibrium": A wry and perverse comedy about an
advertising executive (Robert Downey, Jr.) who is under
enormous pressure at work. During visits to his
psychiatrist (Alan Arkin), they delve into the possible
reasons why his stress seems to manifest itself in a
recurring erotic dream. Directed by Steven Soderbergh.
"The Dangerous Thread of Things": The story of a
ménage-a-trois between a couple and a young woman on the
coast of Tuscany. Directed by Michelangelo Antonioni
(Co-written by Tonino Guerra).
Total Eclipse of the Heart performed with major kitchen
- Speaking of Total Eclipse of the Heart, here's the home
page of my personal favorite musical group,
The Dan Band. (They were in Austin yesterday, but I
sure as hell wasn't going to a SXSW event on St. Patrick's
Day, not even to see these musical gods. That notwithstanding,
I love these guys! Their CD comes out April 12th.)
Phyllis Diller and Gene Wilder autobiographies prove that
comedy is not pretty.
- URL says it all:
Some dudes re-edit Jacko's public statements to ... well, you
JoBlo's Movie Screensavers: Your Guide to Free Movie
Screensavers on the Internet
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
The most recent poll for Best Oscar Winning Nude Performance wasn't even close.
To put it simply...Halle Berry kicked some ass.
Here are the official poll results and comments.
Here are the results of our most recent other polls...
The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s
The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s
Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.
Who has the best bum in Hollywood?
Best All Time Television Comedy
Email Scoopy Jr. with nominees, comments or suggestions.
'Caps and comments by Spaz:
New 6-part cable series on Canada's Bravo about running an upscale
restaurant starring Erin Karpluk (Ripper 2), Sonja Bennett (Punch),
Leah Cairns, and Carmen Moore.
Bliss season III: episode Les Petit Mots
Patricia McKenzie from Naked Josh shows her ample bosom.
Puppets Who Kill: episode Buttons and the Paternity Suit
Virgin Mobile Canadian Ad Campaign continued...
The latest commercial for Richard Branson's new
Virgin Mobile Home service in Canada.
The old competition is portrayed
as a hooker who rolls you over gives you a disease
called "the catch".
Cleaning up my harddrive...
- Karen Hines: tight sweater in-an episode of The Newsroom.
- Kirstin Hinton: pokies in Exhibit A.
- Inga Cadranel: showing extra cleavage in the 11th Hour. Probably
- Nancy Robertson: the future Mrs. Brent Butt gets her bra strap snagged
while jammin' in Corner Gas.
- unknown: another uncredited dead hooker in "Da Vinci's Inquest":
episode Doing the Chicken Scratch.
- Jean Teillet: sexy playing nymphomaniac secretary in the obscure tv
movie "The Hijacking of Studio 4" (1985).
'Caps and comments by Dann:
I call this 2005 direct-to-video horror flick a wannabe vampire movie, because the victims get their necks chewed on, you know, the blood flowing everywhere thing, but no neat stuff like turning into bats, flying, stakes in the heart, etc.
The premise of this pretty bad B-movie actually isn't bad. A medieval drug developed in 1646 to enhance sex had a nasty side effect: it made some of it's users (but not all) uncontrollably thirst for blood. It wore off in about 12 hours, but in that time the user usually ripped someone to pieces to get at their blood. When the church found out about the drug, it was (supposedly) completely destroyed, along with all the users. Hey, they didn't know about the 12 hour thing.
It's now Halloween 2004 and some college students are throwing a major party at an abandoned farm. They've discovered a dynamite new sex drug that they freely hand out to everyone. Unfortunately, they are unaware of the side effect, which quickly hits most of the party goers.
Typical bad acting, lightweight script and general lameness abound, but the movie is still fun in spots, OK for a night watching a dumb horror flick. As is not uncommon in a low-budget film, several of the cast had multiple bit parts. Leticia Gantt, who also had production responsibilities according to the credits, played the doping victim at the beginning of the flick, and was a lesbian lover/doping victim at the party as well. Busy girl.
'Caps and comments by Oz:
We have some nice pokies by Linda Fiorentino in her first movie, Vison Quest. There's also a dark silhouette of her losing her jeans but nothing is visible.
"All I Want"
No nudity in All I Want (aka Try Seventeen) but a few actresses are down to their underwear or show some cleavage. We see lots of Mandy Moore, Desiree Zurowski, Deborah Harry (definitely showing her age), Franka Potente, Narma Ya and Elizabeth Perkins.
Pokies by Dendrie Allyn Taylor in Shocker - her name is longer than her screen time.
"Meet the Applegates"
Another actress whose name is longer than her screen time is Savannah Smith Bouchér in Meet the Applegates. No nudity, she's down to her underwear.
Sarah Polley is also down to her underwear in The Event.
The briefest bit of nipple and some good rear views from Saffron Burrows in Tempted.
- Saffron Burrows
No nudity in 25th hour but there are lots of nice caps of Rosario Dawson, Anna Paquin and Felicia Finley.
Pokies by Kyra Sedgwick in Phenomenon.
Spy Hard is a typical Leslie Nielson comedy and so no nudity. Just lots of cleavage and sex appeal by Nicolette Sheridan and Stephanie Romanov.
|Jolie showing a little cleavage at the London premiere of "Alexander".
|Mr. Nude Celeb 'caps of the "Pirates of the Caribbean" star topless in her first (and hopefully not last) nude scene. Here she is in "The Hole" (2001).
|Here is Birch baring her big'uns in scenes from "American Beauty". 'Caps by the Skin-man.
|A quick site note
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