"The Big Town"

The Big Town (1987) was covered by Scoopy recently, and I agree with everything he said. They had a good cast, interesting characters, great music, interesting interiors, great exterior locations, everything but a story. Had they devoted less time to winning crap rolls, and more to character development, it would have helped a lot, and some original plot device to create dramatic tension could have made this a very good film. As it is, it is entirely cliched start to finish.

Diane Lane shows breasts, and is also seen in pasties and a g-string doing a fan dance. Suzy Amis shows a very brief glimpse of her right nipple, and an unidentified stripper also is wearing only pasties and a g-string. The proper score is C-, as Scoopy said, but I suspect I enjoyed it ever so slightly more than he did, do to the atmosphere of the film.

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  • Diane Lane (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
  • Stripper (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Suzy Amis (1, 2)

    "Total Defense"

    Total Defense (1998), AKA In Her Defense. Start with Bod Heat. Replace Turner with an angelic Marlee Matlin, change the setting from a steamy Florida town to Canada, and you pretty much have this film. "Bambi" just doesn't work as a femme fatal. Following the Body Heat example, they even bring in a surprise woman for the ending. It was almost like they took the storyboard from Body Heat, then sanitized any life out of the story.

    We do get glimpses of Matlin's breasts in three dark sex scenes, and even have her face in the same frame on one of them. Not only were these dark close ups, but they used nearly constant cross fades.

    Matin's deafness would seemed like a problem, but they just gave the stupid lawyer a deaf ex girlfriend. MDB readers have this at 4.7 of 10. TO the best of my knowledge, it is only available on a weak 4/3 transfer on Region 2 DVD from Germany. This is a D. IT is not badly made, but it mimics a genre without providing any of the required spice.

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  • Marlee Matlin (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)



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    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
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    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.


    Skinny Dippin'


    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    'Caps from the Spanish Comedy "Los Peores años de nuestra vida" aka "The Worst Years Of Our Life" (1994).

    • Ariadna Gil, topless (1, 2, 3, 4)

    • Ayanta Barilli, more toplessness. (1, 2)

    • Carmen Elías, yup, also showing some breast exposure. (1, 2)

    Chrissy Schulz Only wearing the bottom half of a bikini in scenes from an episode of the German TV series "Und tschüss!".

    Claudia Wenzel Topless in the tub. Scenes from an episode of another German TV series, ""Dr. Stefan Frank".

    Florentine Lahme Showing off a nice set of robo-hooters in "Wilsberg - Letzter Ausweg: Mord" (2003).

    Monika Bleibtreu The Austrian actress topless in scenes from 1979's "Lemminge, Teil 2 Verletzungen".

    Petra Vieten

    Topless and some brief rear views from "Eiskalte Gier" (1993).

    Sophie Rois Another topless Austrian, this time in 'caps from "Doktor Knock" (1996).

    Anja Kruse Topless in scenes from one of her first movies, "Die Weiße Rose" aka "The White Rose" (1982).

    Natalia Wörner
    (1, 2)

    The German actress is topless as she is being threatened by Gérard Depardieu in scenes from the French movie "La Machine" (1994).

    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    Courtney acting really skanky, showing some pokies and flashing David Letterman (blurred out by NBC) during her Wednesday night appearance.

    Courtney Love bonus For those who really want to see her flashing her ya go.

    Marge Simpson Yes, you read that correctly...Mrs. Homer Simpson is the latest celeb to appear on the cover of Maxim magazine!

    Karita Mattila Scan and comments by RoSSol
    Over time you have had numerous nekkid opera posts in Fun House, so here's one more pic for the archives. Finnish soprano Karita Mattila did the dance of seven veils as Salome at the New York Metropolitan Opera a couple of days ago.

    This .jpg features some crappy pics scanned from the tabloids. At least we can see that not all big opera divas are...umm big.

    Naomi Watts
    (1, 2, 3)

    Co-star of the upcoming Peter Jackson version of "King Kong" going topless in scenes from Oscar nominated performance in "21 Grams".

    Margaret Thompson
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the Canadian actress topless in a shower scene from her one and only IMDb listing, "Parasite" (2003).

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Not All The Boobs Are On TV - Attorney Eric Stephenson of Davis County, Utah, is suing CBS for $5,000 in small claims court for damages he suffered by watching the Super Bowl. The suit accuses CBS of deceptive advertising for claiming the show was for general family audiences when they knew it would contain "inappropriate, lewd, offensive, violent, and degrading adult content." CBS claims the case is without merit because they didn't know Janet Jackson's boob would be exposed.

  • If they had, they would've promoted it!
  • Of course, they knew it would be inappropriate, lewd, offensive, violent, and degrading! It was produced by MTV!!
  • I saw that breast; I think small claims court isn't big enough.

    Long Live The Queen - Catherine Zeta-Jones has suffered another legal loss. She tried to get the town council in her hometown of Mumbles, Wales, to force local man Steve Gwynn to move his IT company out of a converted barn near the $2 million mansion where she holidays. She claims she bought it with a clear understanding it would be "private, prestigious, exclusive and safe." The council rejected her. Gwynn said his business draws less traffic than all the tourists showing up to gawk at Jones' mansion.

  • Besides, she's never there...She's always in court.
  • Fortunately, that mostly only happens during the two weeks a year that she's there.
  • She offered a compromise suggestion: the entire town could just move one mile farther down the road from her.
  • She also asked the council to order local birds to stop landing on her roof.

    If The Registrar Agrees, He Should Be Fired - reports that "Apprentice" star Donald Trump is trying to trademark his now-famous phrase, "You're fired." He wants the exclusive rights to use "You're fired" in his casinos and on clothes, games and playthings.

  • You can play Trump's "You're Fired" video game at work until you get fired.
  • The good news is that now, nobody can be fired without the express written permission of Donald Trump.
  • If other bosses want to get rid of an employee, they'll have to kill him.
  • "You're fired" is too common a phrase to trademark...How about something more specific, like, "Trump you!"

    Hole-y Cow - Courtney Love took a break from her legal troubles in California to visit New York Wednesday. After a wild interview where she repeatedly lifted her blouse to flash David Letterman, she performed at a club, where she allegedly threw her microphone stand into the crowd and hit a man in the head. She was arrested for assault and reckless endangerment.

  • The fan should've known what to expect: she'd just finished playing the songs "Assault" and "Reckless Endangerment."
  • So now she's both bi-coastal and bi-polar.
  • Fortunately, Courtney has started taking lawyers along with her everywhere she goes.
  • Letterman's been thinking of retiring, but between Courtney, Drew Barrymore and Janet Jackson coming up, he's changed his mind.

    She's Going Away For Life - Martha Stewart is asking 100 supporters to write letters to the federal judge who will sentence her, asking him for leniency. She wrote that if possible, they should "include any memorable experiences you have had with me."

  • Any ones that don't involve screaming or insider trading.
  • Perhaps she should've stipulated "POSITIVE experiences."
  • Note that she didn't ask any of her neighbors.