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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

Junior is on a mini-working-sorta-vacation, so I'm writing the page for a bit. He's in Amsterdam with some buds, the lucky dog, but will resume writing the page from Europe in a day or two, assuming he doesn't discover brown cafes.

Hey, Scoop:

(Regarding Lolo Ferrari's death "by natural causes")

It was reported recently in the Brit press that Lolo Ferrari's husband has been charged with her murder.

Scoop: "Hey, that sounds like a natural cause to me."

Hey, Scoop:

I read that the video for George Michael's new song "Freeek" includes swearing, nudity and two dogs mating ... any pics?

Scoop: "Not yet. Interestingly, this same report was also issued for Bjork's new video, until they realized the sound of  the two mating dogs was actually Bjork's singing.

Are you sure that was a video, and not George's home movies?"


There are new volumes for: Emmanuelle Beart and Michelle Bauer. That Bauer volume was a bear. About two dozen movies (missing many more in her career, so it'll keep growing!), and zillions of posed pics. This lady has never stopped working.



Man, I'm really into Training Day. Here's five more, at various degrees of enlargement.

Eva Mendes (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)


Here are the latest movie reviews available at

  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


Scoop, just a heads up. I am not sure if you know the television series Smallville. If not, it is about superman as a teenager, just as he is discovering his gifts.  Anyway, Lana Lang is played by Kristin Kreuk, an incredibly gorgeous woman.  I can't take my eyes off of her whenever she is on screen. Well, on tonight's episode, she gets really wild and strips down to her bra and panties before jumping into a pool.  What a body.  They had some EXCELLENT shots too, the best from behind. Some real nice belly shots as  well.  I truly hope you or your excellent contributors taped this episode and are hard at work on the caps as I type.  It was pretty risque for the show, I was surprised at the butt shot we got.  Well, thanx for reading.

Scoop: "I don't know if that was Lana Lang (Kristin Kreuk) or a body double on Smallville last night, but here it is, thanks to DAI"

(1, 2, 3)


"Boxcar Bertha" (1972)

Boxcar Bertha (1972) -- is one of the better Corman films, in that is has nudity from a future star, interesting characters, great pace, decent plot, and some point. Sort of a Bonnie & Clyde takeoff, the characters this time were union supporters who were not terribly popular during the depression. Scoop reviewed this pretty thoroughly last week (see the recent reviews link below). I agree with most of what he said, but will bump my score up to a full C. Anyone who generally enjoys the genre should like this one.


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    "Orgazmo" 1997

    Orgazmo (1997) Tonight, I found my level of comedy in this early Trey Parker film. Trey and Stan Sawicki are Mormon missionaries in Hollywood, a week away from returning to Salt Lake. We see them being treated rather shabbily at two houses, then they knock on the door of a little old lady:

    "Hello, Ma'am. My goodness, you have such an attractive little garden here."

    "Why thank you, young man. I just planted those flowers last week. My, how they grow."

    "Yes ma'am. Were from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints."

    "Oh, the Mormons."

    "That's right. I'm Elder Young, and this is Elder White."

    "Well, you two boys can just fuck right off."


    "You heard me. Take that Book of Mormon, and shove it so far up your righteous asses that you choke, you soul soliciting pig fuckers."

    There next stop is the home studio of a porno king. Trey is enticed to appear in the leading role in the film Orgazmo. He will earn enough to marry his fiancée in the temple, and they will use a stunt cock so he doesn't have to totally shatter his morals. Orgazmo is a super hero who does in the bad guys with an orgasm ray gun. I don't want to give away any more of the plot, as I give this an enthusiastic thumb up.

    There is breast exposure from Juli Ashton, a large amount of nudity (snicker snicker) from someone credited as The Fat Stripper Broad, breasts with pasties from Anna Kazuki and Yumiko Kumashiro, and pokies and lots of leg from his girlfriend, Robyn Lynne Raab. There are also many assorted actresses in bra and panties, and watch for Ron Jeremy as Jizzmaster Zero, and Dian Bachar as Orgazmo's side-kick, Choda Boy. Ebert says 1/2 star, and calls it just as sophomoric as Animal House, while Berardinelli, who obviously is not humor-impaired, awards 3 stars. The Orgazmo DVD is being released April 23 in the US

    Scoop's comments: Trey is the comedy god. If he didn't win any Oscars for "South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut", and if Groucho didn't win for Duck Soup, then no funny person is ever going to win. If you love Trey's work, then you have to see Cannibal: the Musical, his demented student film project, a kind of off-center parody of Oklahoma! (And he's not a bad singer at all!)

  • Stereo X

    Scoop - I was watching Resident Evil again and I noticed some more topless nudity from Milla Jovovich (1, 2) ! It's a scene where she is having flashbacks standing in the shower and passing out from the nerve gas that is sprayed into her bathroom. Anyway, you can clearly see her right breast while she is standing in the shower! It's all there! The first picture is a collage of that scene and the second picture is a single frame capture from the same flashback, but in a different part of the movie. I hope you'll enjoy it!

    The Snapper

  •  Hi Scoop,

    I finally got some major computer/scanner issues resolved so I'm back on the scanning trail again. I'm kicking off with a non-nude image which has nevertheless given me (and my wife) immense joy over the past few years.  It's of an oil painting that hangs on the wall of our local pizzeria.  I live in Kensington in the middle of London, about 200 yards from where Princess Diana used to live, and the owner of this particular joint claims that it was 'Diana's favourite restaurant'.  To 'prove' this he had the attached picture painted by some hack artist.  Entitled 'Pizza Diana' I don't think there is a single example of crass tackiness that could possibly beat it and thus it is, by a long way,  my favourite painting (also known at Chez Snapper as 'The Virgin of the Four Seasons').  If I was storyboarding this, the next frame would show the chef flipping the entire pie into Diana's face to great belly laughs from the audience...

    Oddly enough, this is the same restaurant used by Renee Zellweger when she stuffed herself with pizza and garlic bread over a two month period  preparing for her Bridget Jones role (and Oscar nomination).  We can only pray that this will also be recorded in oils! Oh yes, and anyone who wants to view the Virgin of the Four Seasons in the flesh needs to go to Da Mario's Pizzeria, 15 Gloucester Road, Kensington.

    The painting

    Scoop's comments:

    The Snapper knew, I suppose, how much I love kitsch. I just can't pass up one of those art sales at a closed gas station, where they sell Elvis in the white jump suit on black velvet, dogs playing poker, Keane children, Norman Rockwell's small town America, Jesus with eyes that follow you, neon flamingos, and other staples of the bad taste world. (I even have some of my grandmother's classic sentimental kitsch from Poland). This Diana picture is now a treasured possession.

  • Frost


    Well, today's theme is "big magic eyes"... namely Audrey Hepburn.  Why, you  might ask?  Well, I can't think of a more lovely creature, than A.H.  All of the pics are from the fifties, except the second one(#3) which dates from the early sixties (witch makes them twice my age). No nudity of course.

    Audrey (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)


    Scoop, Today we start taking a look at the 3d and final movie in the "Ginger" series. From 1973 "Girls are for Loving", first we  see an unknown actress who along with her boyfriend is forced to strip naked, then taken outside in the snow, tied to a tree and then after being tormented by the bad guy is shot. Then it's on to the star of the movie Cheri Caffaro who is seen kung fu fighting the bad spies with her boobs hanging out. Then to the beach where she is attacked by another bad guy. More to come.

    Cheri Coffaro (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Unknown (1, 2)


    I'm sending some pics that I haven't seen around much of some British Totty.
    Denise Van Outen - Caps from Murder In Mind, not seen these before, The *Cucumber pic* & some candid paparazzi shots. (1,2,3,4,5)
    Louise, British pop singer... Paparazzi...YUM! (1,2,3,4,5)
    Phillipa Forrester. Paparazzi again, another Brit TV host. (1,2,3)
    Posh Spice.. Aka Victoria Beckham. First time I have seen these Candid shots. (1,2,3)


    Nadja Auermann

    Fashion scans. Beautiful work. Color photos of Nadja in black and white outfits. This is the only one with any nudity. (A see-through)

    Nadja Auermann (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12) Non-nudes

    Renate Langer

    From "Ein Dicker Hund"

    Donna D'Errico odd paparazzi picture

    Juliette Lewis "Romeo is Bleeding" (non-nude)

    Lena Olin "Romeo is Bleeding"

    Lia Boysen "Det Nya Landet"

    Lissi van Lambsdorff "Der Alta Rivalen"

    Natalia Verbeke "Nadia concoce a nadie"

    Lena Headey "The Parole Officer"

    Pat Reeder The Comedy Wire
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Boy, is this guy barking up my tree...

    Oscar: No Laughing Matter

    By Lou Lumenick
    Associated Press

    NEW YORK - Bob Hope jokingly referred to Oscar night as "passover" because, like many comic icons, he was never even nominated for an Academy Award. He's part of a notorious list that includes such all-time greats as W.C. Fields, Mae West and the Marx Brothers and, more recently, Jerry Lewis and Eddie Murphy. Cary Grant, a genius of light comedy, was nominated for two heavy dramatic
    roles (never his forte), but had to settle for an honorary Oscar after retirement. Charlie Chaplin never got an acting nod, though he received one for screenwriting and shared an award for composing. Serious actors have generally fared better, but there are some head-scratchers among them, too. Greta Garbo, nominated four times, never won. Edward G. Robinson got zilch - though, like Garbo and Chaplin, he lived long enough to collect an honorary Oscar. So did Alfred Hitchcock, the most exalted non-winner among directors. The Master of Suspense was nominated six times, but struck out even when Rebecca (1940) won Best Picture.


    From the NY Post.  Vogue is going to start running photos of women larger than size zero.  They say they are "profiling the prevalent shapes of a woman's body."  Sounds like you might have grounds for an infringement lawsuit.  My favorite line is the last one.  Yes, when I want a mixture of  high fashion and reality, I always turn to Vogue. Or else I turn to Page Six and read about which supermodel is back in rehab...

    NEW YORK - The April issue of Vogue magazine hitting newsstands this week features women of all shapes and sizes - the first time the venerable fashion bible has splashed big-boned beauties across its pages. "We chose to profile the prevalent shapes of a woman's body," said super-skinny Vogue editor Anna Wintour. "We couldn't create an issue devoted to all the shapes of a woman's body and not include women who are upward from a size 10. We wanted to include everyone."

    In this case, "everyone" includes voluptuous television chef Nigella Lawson, who candidly discusses her lifelong love of food and her battle
    with her weight, while stick-thin writer Joan Didion reveals that she would have a more commanding presence as a reporter if she were bigger. Plus-size model Kate Dillon, who at 5-foot-11 and 170 pounds is a zaftig size 12, admits, "Sure, I'd love to have Britney Spears' body. "So I'm a little larger - is that so bad? I feel sexy and strong."

    Vogue being Vogue, there's an emphasis on how style can accommodate different shapes. Both statuesque socialite Alexandra Schlesinger, who's almost 6-foot-3, and pint-sized figure skater Sasha Cohen complain they can't find clothes that fit. Pregnant actress Anne Heche finds a way to look sexy in maternity clothes, but boxer Laila Ali says she often hides her muscles under conservative clothing approved by her Muslim father, boxer Muhammad Ali.

    "By depicting the range of female shape, we think that readers and the fashion industry will be struck by how wonderful women can look whatever their shape is," Wintour said. At least one designer who's seen the spread saluted Vogue's efforts. "I love the mix of high fashion and reality as only Vogue could do," Michael Kors said.