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Another day of technical issues over in the tank. Tuna will be back tomorrow.

Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

New to DVD

I am thrilled to get these two movies on DVD, finally! Long overdue.

Peter Greenaway's eccentric visual masterpiece, The Cook, the Thief, his Wife, and Her Lover. Demented film, lost in the world of sensationalism somewhere between Caligula and Hannibal, but also powerful, intelligent, colorful, and artistic. An unusual experience, to say the least. Not a date film, unless maybe if you are dating Rose McGowan, or used to.

Lawrence Kasdan's once highly regarded but now all-but-forgotten film, Grand Canyon. It has no plot or action. It's sentimental. It's trapped in early 90's new-age consciousness. And I still like it a lot.

  • Mary-Louise Parker (1, 2)



The PoleCat checked in with Liv Tyler in Stealing Beauty. I'm not exactly sure what the famous gyno close-up shows us, but I enjoy imagining. Now here is the case of a film by one of the great masters, Bernardo Bertolucci. Surely a film like this should be brought to DVD, shouldn't it? We need to see the lovely European locales, and hear those chirping birds in Dolby sound, and we need to be able to see the full lush coloration of the countryside. Why there's not a man-jack among us who would fast forward to the scene where Liv's panties come off, and then start using the freeze-frame. I know I wouldn't. But then again, I read Playboy for the articles.

The same reason I used to read New Cunts.

For you guys who haven't been around the page forever, and thus don't understand all my obscure references, New Cunts was an omnipresent magazine I encountered during those many long, grey months when I was working in Buenos Aires in the mid 90's. The magazine's name was in English, so it sort of grabbed my attention at the Newsstands. As you can well imagine, every once in a while the weary Argentines have to take a rest from their 24/7 routine of eating beef and doing the tango, in order to check out some cunts - not those old stale cunts - but some fresh vibrant new ones. Who can blame them?

But I wouldn't know. I only read it for the Stereo tips.

  • Here's Liv Tyler. The first one is the close-up. The second one is the bathing scene. (1, 2)

The rest of these are single frame captures from Jean Rollin's "Les Demoniaques"

  • Joelle Coeur (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • The two demoniacs (don't know which is which) (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
Graphic Response
  • Charlotte Rampling A very brief bit of topless exposure from 1974's "Zardoz".

  • Scorpion
    Ya know folks, all of the Euro-celebs we've had in the past week or so have been great. Wonderful variety, and excellent nudity. But I'll be the first to admit that much like my morning caffeine, if I don't get a daily dose of Skinemax, I get a little cranky.

    Thank you Scorpion!

    Alicia Moorland
    (1, 2)

    Showin' it all, gettin' groped, and gettin' it on in scenes from an episode of "Passion Cove".

    Kim Dawson Kim also getting the full treatment in scenes from "Passion Cove".

    Tracy Tweed Shannon's little sister in a sex scene from "Sunset Heat".

    It's been a while since we've nominated any movies for the "Worst Cast Ever" Award. Quite frankly, I think it just became too difficult to try to choose only one winner! But in that mode of 'best of'..."Sunset Heat" may be one of the best examples of typical B-movie casting.

    Here's the cast:
    Michael Paré
    Adam Ant
    Dennis Hopper
    Charlie Schlatter
    Tracy Tweed
    Little Richard
    Tony Todd
    Julie Strain
    By the way the director John Nicolella, is the same dude who gave us "Kull the Conqueror".

    Lots of second string players in this one. Kinda reminds me of the "Simpsons" episode when Lisa fantasized about joining "Garfunkel, Messina, and Oates" on tour.

    The French sure do get nekkid a lot.

    Evelyne Bouix
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Breast exposure in a variety of scenes from "Un morceau de soleil" (2000). The clearest of the bunch is probably link #10.

    Anne Brochet Topless and far off rear nudity in scenes from "Une journée de merde" (1999).

    Olivia Brunaux and Caroline Cellier Both topless at the beach in scene from 1987's "Vent de panique".

    Fanny Cottencon Far off full frontal nudity from the movie "Le Roi des cons" (1981).

    Julie Debazac Partial side breast exposure in a shower scene from the French TV series "Avocats & associés".

    Mr. T
    Jessica Alba
    (1, 2, 3)

    Comments by Mr. T.
    No nudes here, just some scans of Jessica Alba from the March 16 issue of Entertainment Weekly. The two-page spread was a real bitch because the pages in the magazine were tinted differently and didn't even line up properly. I did the best I could with it. And you know, I really wish these magazines would stop printing covers with a blank space where the mailing label goes. Removing old peel-offs was easier than trying to fill in a big blank space!

    Kirsten Dunst and Mila Kunis Here's a collage of Kirsten and Mila in the movie "Get Over It". Babes in bikinis, sounds like a winner to me!

    The Rev
    An Oost

    Greit Troch

    Kate Moss

    Laura Delicata

    From the lost book of Book of Scoopy...
    An behold, in the land of Web, four waifs did reveal their womanhood for all to gaze upon. And there was much rejoicing.

    and ...
    Claire Forlani

    Vanessa Marcil

    No nudity, but these two ladies are gorgeous. Of course in my book, Vanessa pretty much tops the list as one of if not the most beautiful woman ever. Or to borrow an expression used by an idiot I once knew...she's the most beautiful woman "in the history of forever".

    Bobbie Brown B-babe, and former girlfriend of Tommy Lee. Here she is in a skimpy leather thing in scenes from "Kounterfeit", by DeVo.

    Elena Sahagun One more from DeVo...Elena topless in the Steven Seagal classic, "Marked for Death".

    Angelina Jolie Brief nip slip in "Pushing Tin", by Elliffen Grafix.

    Heidi Klum Mega Cleavage in scenes from the movie "Blow Dry", by Celeblover.

    Svenja Pages A bit dark, but full frontal nudity in "Ein Unmöglicher Mann" (2000). Vidcaps by Celeblover.

    Asia Argento Beautiful single frame of Asia topless from "B Monkey", by Pacman.

    Kate Hudson One more of Kate from "Almost Famous". 'Caps by Penman.

    Kathleen Beller Full frontal nudity in 1978's "The Betsy"

    Jill Hennessy Some pokies from the former "Law and Order" co-star.

    The Funnies by Number 6
  • The Arkansas Quarter
  • A word to all of those "happy people"
  • Children's books

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