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"Death Race 2000", from
Tuna
Legendary Roger Corman
pic, directed by the odd Paul Bartel, about a
race across the country. The winner is not
determined by time, but by points accumulated
along the way. Points are earned by killing
various types of pedestrians. It isn't as
deranged as it sounds. It's more silly than
depraved, and a parody of society's obsession
with violence. Features some youthful
performances from Sly Stallone and David
Carradine in the leads, and some cameos by such
stalwarts as Gopher from the Love Boat, and John
Landis, who in the next couple years would become
the most sought after comedy director in the
world, following Animal House, Kentucky Fried
Movie, and The Blues Brothers. Compare that three
years of output to his most recent three years,
which featured Blues Brothers 2000, The Stupids,
and Beverly Hills Cop III. What happened to the
guy?
I've been meaning to do
this movie, so I'm pleased Tuna did all the work!
Tuna's thumbnails for this movie Louisa Moritz (#1, #2, #3) Simone Griffith (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12) Group (#1, #2, #3)
"Body
of Influence 2", from Tuna
Low budget erotic
thriller, more sizzle than steak. Not thrilling
or sexy enough to merit your attention as a
rental, but Jodie is pretty, and there's enough
nudity to make for a good presentation from Tuna.
In my opinion, Tuna did a better job on these
dark and oddly-lit scenes than any previous
attempts to capture this movie.
Tuna's thumbnails for this movie Jodie Fisher (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12) assorted (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6)
"West
New York", from Johnny Web
This movie made the
rounds of the film festivals a couple of years
ago, but never got a taker for distribution. It's
actually a prety good little indie, but with just
enough amateurish touches to remind you that they
made it for peanuts. I wouldn't necessarily
recommend this movie about an alcoholic ex-cop
who is independently scamming off some corporate
bonds from his security job when three different
groups of wise guys and crooked cops figure out
that the small-time scam could be big-time, and
want a piece of the action. In tone and attitude,
it isn't really like an indie, but more like a
studio movie made with a zero budget. The
lighting is so bright in some scenes that the
faces are washed out and the entire background is
white. That's cool, though, certainly better than
the typical indie, which is too dark. Some of the
actors are obviously non-professionals, and there
are some irrelevant minor characters which take
up screen time for no reason.
But there are also some
wonderful elements. Some of the outdoor scenes
are filmed with real imagination and respect for
the landscapes. I loved one scene between wise
guys where they arranged a meeting at a deserted
driving range in the middle of winter, and they
discussed murder and such while the capo
nervously drove ball after ball into the snow
with a short, hard, swing which reflected his
agitated personality, but which was more suited
to axe murder than golf. This director, Joey
Gallo, could be a guy to watch in the future.
The female star, Gloria
Darpino, is an Elizabeth Perkins lookalike, with
quite a nice chest. Gloria Darpino (#1, #2, #3, #4) Kathy Derry. Somebody tell me who this
really is. I recognize her face, but anybody know
her other aliases? Frodo?
"Slaves
to the Underground", from Johnny Web
If I were a 22 year old
filmmaker today, I would make gay-themed movies.
The reason is that you can take any old cliched
story that has been done a zillion times, and any
old unoriginal dialogue, and make a movie with a
built-in audience if you simply change the sex of
one of the lovers. Then, instead of people
saying, "this is the same old crap",
they will say , "breaks new ground in
dealing honestly with same-sex
relationships". And it's true that there
have not been many mainstream movies that have
treated gay characters without condescension or
some kind of implicit understanding they they are
out there doing some kooky, almost non-human
stuff 24 hours a day.
Plus, if you do a
lesbian movie with plenty of nudity, guys like us
will watch it as well.
This is a story about
the enternal love-triangle. A couple broke up
because she was raped by one of the guy's
friends, and she couldn't tell him or deal with
it emotionally. She is a guitarist, wanders off
into a band, and strikes up a sexual relationship
with the lead singer. She realizes that she wants
to go back to her boyfriend, but can't do it
because she doesn't want to mess up the band,
which is on the verge of breaking through. Blah,
blah, blah. The only thing that makes it
something new is that the lead singer is another
woman.
I read some of the
reviews from those in the gay scene, and they
praised the movie for an accurate portrayal of
the grunge scene, and lesbian political activism.
I have to defer to their knowledge on that. The
movie itself is nothing so new and different.
Never would have caught any attention at all if
the lead singer had been a man. On the other
hand, it isn't bad either, so you can watch it
without reaching for the FF button, except during
the musical numbers, which are atrocious.
The two stars got naked.
Molly Gross is a screen newcomer, with a kind of
intense, confused charm, and quite a nice body,
although you won't be too impressed with the rear
shot (#4). Marisa Ryan is a TV veteran. As a
girl, she was one of the daughters on Major Dad.
Most recently, she was in that "Mary and
Rhoda" reunion movie as Rhoda's daughter, if
you were one of the three people who saw that. I
found her a dubious casting choice as the lead
singer because she can't carry a tune, but I
guess it doesn't matter that much in grunge. She
has one gigantic butt for a li'l woman. (see #1)
I love all kinds of
music, even punk and grunge and techno, hell I
love the score from "Lola rennt" that
so many whined about, but this movie score is
mostly just noise. A definite candidate for the
worst musical score in the history of movies.
(But I still have to cast my vote for the
all-Donovan 1960's hippie score in Zefferelli's
Francis of Assisi movie located 650 years earlier
in time)
Molly Gross (#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6) Marisa Ryan (#1, #2, #3, #4)
Hey, gay filmmakers. If
you have to re-hash the same old crap, why not do
it with some good stuff, for example, the script
from Casablanca. Just make Rick a tough dyke, and
put in plenty of nudity, and you'll get my seven
bucks. I recommend Casta as Ilka.
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