"The Osterman Weekend"
The Osterman Weekend (1983) was Sam Peckinpah's final film. He made it in poor health, with the studio execs breathing down his neck, and he was working on a screenplay that he had no creative control over made from arguably the worst novel that Robert Ludlam ever wrote. Not only that, he didn't have the right of final edit. This work is finally released on DVD, and includes a new transfer of the theatrical version, complete with a commentary by four Peckinpah biographers, and his original review cut, but in very poor quality.
The cast included Helen Shaver, Meg Ryan, Burt Lancaster, Rutger Haur, John Hurt, Dennis Hopper, Meg Foster, Cassie Yates, and more. I am going to resist the temptation to write a plot summary. There is no way to do so without a complete spoiler, and some of you who haven't might want to check it out for the nudity, which includes brief breasts from Meg Foster, extensive breasts from Cassie Yates and Merete Van Kamp, and full frontal from Helen Shaver.
Much of the film takes place at night, and most scenes have a depressing greenish tint. The commentary talks far more about Peckinpah than the film, which I suppose you would expect from four biographers. There was a retrospective I didn't take the time to watch, biographies, and a slide show of production stills on the second DVD. Note the blue shots of Merete Van Kamp. These were from a deleted scene, About half the deleted material had nudity, but was a repeat of what was already in the film. They also lost a major sub-plot, changed the beginning, and rearranged the ending for the theatrical release.
IMDb readers have this at 5.7 of 10. None of the usual critics have a review listed at IMDb. This film has a single surprise, and after one watching, with that spoiled, is kind of a long watch at 112 minutes. The DVD is a major improvement over the VHS version I first watched. It seemed like the novelist and screenwriter wrote an espionage thriller, and Peckinpah turned it into a study of voyeurism, the influence of media, and a good shoot-em-up. It is still worth the trouble due to the fine cast. C
Merete Van Camp
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
These are Tuna's comments,
which I need to repeat so I can build on them and not repeat them.
Splash is one of those
PG films with an amazing amount of exposure. Tom Hanks
plays a workaholic wholesale produce broker who does his
own work and his good-for-nothing brother's (John Candy)
as well. He returns to Cape Cod for a break, and falls in
the water. He is rescued by a mermaid (Daryl Hannah). He
is instantly smitten, indeed, he was smitten by the same
mermaid as a young boy, but has no idea she is a mermaid.
She is smitten as well. She finds his wallet, and
decides to visit him in New York. It seems mermaids are
allowed to become human for a short time once in their
life. She walks onto Liberty Island starkers, and the fun
Director Ron Howard could have gone for over the top
comedy, but, instead, focused on the love story, and lots
of small but effective gags. Hannah has never been
better, Hanks did his usual great job, and Candy was
perfect in his role.
Seeing Daryl again in this role, I started asking
myself what my favorite Hannah film was. With 44, there
are a lot of choices. This grew into multiple questions:
- What is her best performance?
- Which film did I enjoy her in most?
- Which of her films is the best overall?
Surprisingly, my answer was different in each case.
Maybe we can study this question.
Here are my
Splash is not rated
spectacularly high at IMDb, nor was it a monstrous box office
success. It was a small hit, and it is scored in the high average
range, yet it was one of the most influential films of its time,
perhaps of any time.
Although it did not
single-handedly change the way people dressed or what they did for
recreation, ala The Sting or Saturday Night Fever, it did take a
bunch of unknowns and made them stars.
Tom Hanks, now a venerable and much-awarded
Hollywood institution, arguably the biggest star of his time, was
known only as a featherweight sitcom actor before this film. Splash
made him a movie star.
John Candy and Eugene Levy were Canadian sketch
comics from the original cast of SCTV. Levy was unknown. Candy was a
bit player until Splash made him a comedy institution. (He is
hilarious in the film.)
Daryl Hannah had been in the obscure Summer Lovers
and had a small part in Blade Runner. Some people knew her face, and
remembered her character in Blade Runner, but nobody really knew her
name at the time, including me, and I was a Blade Runner geek.
Splash elevated her to the A-List.
Ron Howard had directed Night Shift, which starred
his old Happy Days pal, The Fonz, and some Corman crap, and that was
about it. After Splash proved that he could make good movies with a
good return on investment, he was Hollywood gold, and was able to
develop projects like Cocoon, Apollo 13, and a Beautiful Mind.
Splash is, in fact, an excellent romantic comedy
despite the crazy high-concept premise and the wishy-washy 6.3 at
IMDb. I will argue that it is one of the best in the genre. We have
often mentioned here that there are only about five erotic thrillers
in history that are both erotic and thrilling. It is no small
challenge to do both. The same rule of thumb applies to romantic
comedies. How many films can you name which are both romantic and
This is one of them. Ron Howard managed to pull it
off by letting Hanks play the charming straight man, and letting
John Candy deliver the crazy laughs. I should not slight Daryl
Hannah, who was both beautiful and funny in her role as the mermaid.
The director managed to allow her to be very funny by letting the
humor come out of the character's naiveté in the ways of humans, and
to her credit, Hannah never missed a beat. She also proved to be a
truly extraordinary athlete in the underwater scenes, which she did
The new 20th anniversary DVD features the rare
audition footage of Hannah and Hanks (great to see because of its
rarity, but not especially entertaining), a new "making of"
documentary (which I enjoyed), and a director's commentary, which I
listened to when John Candy was on, because I just can't get enough
John Candy stories.
Sigh! Not only have 20 years passed since Splash
came out, but it has also been 10 years since John Candy died. I
sure miss the big lug. What a rare bird he was, and what a rare
quality he had on camera! Has there ever been any actor in history
who could deliver such totally obnoxious lines and still be as
- Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site has been updated
- Huge Internet Superstars, "Jesus' favorite website", presents
a review of this week's Smackdown
Justice Scalia's argument against recusing himself from the Cheney
case. He said: "while friendship is a ground for
recusal of a Justice where the personal fortune or the personal
freedom of the friend is at issue, it has traditionally not been a
ground for recusal where official action is at issue, no matter
how important the official action was to the ambitions or the
reputation of the Government officer."
- Let me translate that for you. He said. Dick Cheney is my
very good friend, and this is a case which could completely
destroy him if it goes against him, but that doesn't matter,
because the law only requires me to recuse if the suit is
against him PERSONALLY, not if it is against an official action
taken by him. So I will not do it, and I am legally correct.
- Presumably Justice Scalia IS legally correct.
Federal regulators opened a new front in their crackdown on
offensive broadcasts Thursday, saying that almost any use of the
F-word on over-the-air radio and television would be considered
indecent and profane.
Saturn's moon looks like Canada, specifically like
Dick Cheney, Master Biologist:
- On Oct. 26, 1965, 'The Selective Service declares that
married men without children, who were previously exempted from
the draft, will now be called up. Married men with children
- Elizabeth Cheney's birthday is July 28, 1966, precisely nine
months and two days after the Selective Service publicly
declared it would draft childless married men, but would not
draft those with children.
Girl of The Week Gallery
Do you think my boobs look crooked?
13 year old Norwegian chess prodigy defeats Karpov.
The boys of Hummer - baseball players love hummers.
Yeah, I know a stewardess who said the same thing.
Florida, a #5 seed, loses to 12th seeded Manhattan!
Kylie Minogue has lived before, and can communicate with the dead.
The good news is that she had a former life. The bad news is that
she was Shirley Maclaine. Hey, Kylie, if you hear from my late
dad, ask him where he left the keys to the safe.
- Globe magazine says:
Kobe's accuser in Florida d-tox, needs to kick cocaine before the
Student senator motions to impeach himself! My kind of
guy! When I was in college, I ran for the presidency of student
government, and my only campaign promise was to abolish student
government immediately. I proposed to take the student government
budget and pay it back proportionally to each student in the form
of an instant tuition re-imbursement. Even with no posters, I'm
pretty sure I would have won on word-of-mouth alone, if I hadn't
skipped all the debates in order to drink beer and play poker and
watch Dark Shadows.
In 1971, President Nixon worried about a young anti-war activist -
John Kerry. The Trickster's comments are found in the
famous White House Tapes.
Edy's Grand Peanut Butter Ice Cream is recalling 14,000 cartons of
ice cream - because it may contain peanuts! God forbid.
Hey, smart ass, you wouldn't think this is funny if you were one
of those guys who was deathly allergic to peanuts, but still loved
eating peanut-free peanut butter.
- Brande Roderick was the 2001 Playmate of the Year. Here are a
dozen free nudes in her
Playmate Gallery, courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!
- Here are four free short videos from
Playboy Big Breast Babes!
Urban Legend Debunked. "Psychologist B. F. Skinner
raised his own daughter in a 'Skinner box'; as a result, she grew
up psychologically damaged, sued her father, and committed
suicide". Verdict: not only FALSE, but completely ridiculous.
- Post-tittygate hypocrisy report:
MTV Edits Fountains of Wayne Video
Donald Trump seeks to trademark "You're Fired" :
"Donald Trump, reality TV star and rapacious New York developer,
has filed to trademark the phrase sweeping an underemployed
nation. That's right, if The Donald gets the nod from The U.S.
Patent and Trademark Office, he'll be able to exclusively slap the
words 'You're Fired' on clothing and 'games and playthings,' and
use it in connection with 'casino services.'"
Courtney Love's Meltdown Continues With New York Arrest.
This will be our last notification of Courtney Love arrests, based
on the first principle of news: "If a man bites a dog - news. Dog
bites man - not news." We will occasionally report days when
Courtney goes through the entire 24 hours without getting in
- T'was a time when rock stars were the Wild Children that
every culture seems to produce. Guys like Jim Morrison and Keith
Richards are nowhere to be found in the younger set, which seems
to consist of the kind of guys who would pick up a few extra
bucks by performing in a McDonald's cap, ala Timberwolf. (Would
Jim Morrison have apologized for a wardrobe malfunction? Would
he have tried to claim it WAS a wardrobe malfunction?) Courtney
Love is the only Wild Child left in rock. A part of me, a small
part which still resides in the 60s, thinks that is really cool.
Another part of me, a larger part, thinks she's a bigger
douchebag than the sum total of all the douchebaggery inherent
in Ralph Nader, Donald Rumsfeld, and Hugh Grant combined. As the
baseball guys say, "You make the call."
- Courtney should be deported to Norway. They need her.
Nothing exciting ever happens there, and she does something
exciting every day.
Ventura and Schwarzenegger. Who will be the third
muscleman-turned-actor to become a famous politician? The Rock
says he da man.
The Daily Show analyzes the steroids controversy - in contract
bridge! Strange, funny segment.
The Daily Show is really jealous - because the White House does
fake news better than Comedy Central!
- Here's the first trailer for Touchstone's
The Last Shot. "Inspired by the true story of a sting
operation in Providence, R.I. 'The Last Shot' revolves around a
young filmmaker (Matthew Broderick) who is given millions of
dollars to make his first movie by a mysterious benefactor (Alec
Baldwin) on the condition that he shoot it in Providence. But the
filmmaker eventually discovers that his film's producer is an
undercover FBI agent."
RIAA Claims Music On Car Radios Meant Only For Original Vehicle
Owner!!!! The Recording Industry Association of America
announced today it would be expanding its crackdown on copyright
infringement by suing family members, hitchhikers and carpoolers.
Lawyers for the RIAA maintain that the radio in each car was never
meant to be listened to by anyone else except the original owner
of the vehicle.
- You know what is truly sad? I had to read the article to see
if they were kidding. When I ran a group of stores in Wisconsin,
some years ago, I was about to be sued because our store
managers left the radios on while they worked, thus entertaining
the customers without paying royalties for the songs! They told
me I had three choices (1) be sued (2) sign a contract agreeing
to pay royalties (3) turn off the radios. Guess which one I
Tower Records - The Punisher Soundtrack is here...along
with download samples of all 19 tracks
Batman filming begins in London. Hollywood shuts down
as entire acting community reports to wardrobe in England.
Will Jake Gyllenhaal be the Green Hornet
URL says it all: FreeStern.com.
- I think the protest is partially misdirected at Clear
Channel. Clear Channel has no choice. They are in business. They
have to drop Stern if the fines and boycotts exceed the revenues
from the show. This is likely based upon the new penalties and
the new awareness. Yes, Clear Channel is guilty of hypocritical
pontificating about zero tolerance and the like, but the real
reason is economic. If there were no fine, just a warning, they
never would have dropped him in the first place. Clear Channel
is just covering its ass. The real guilty party is the Federal
Government, which has taken its responsibility to regulate the
airwaves to a point where they feel they should control what one
can and cannot say on those airwaves. If you do not feel they
should have that right, by all means communicate that to your
senator and representative.
Man sells The Root of All Evil on e-bay. Very funny.
Read down to the forms of payment he will accept. You can pay him
in celebrity lunchboxes, but not in Canadian money. I assume he
will not accept Canadian celebrities either.
Singer Courtney Love repeatedly turned her back to the camera and
lifted her shirt to flash David Letterman Wednesday.
Arrow in the Head reports on the nudity in Dawn of the Dead:
"We get some blonde gal (actress Kim Poirier) showing her ta-tas
and her fine G-stringed butt during a quick sex scene. We also get
another hasty tit shot via the end credits."
- Not many reviews are in yet, but the early scorecard for
Dawn of the Dead is positive, including a solid A from
Spanish Prime Minister-elect Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero
suggested American voters should follow the example set by Spain
and change their leadership by supporting Kerry for president.
- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind scores big with critics.
Rotten Tomatoes estimates that there were 91% positive reviews ...
... and Metacritic says the average reviewer scored Eternal
Sunshine an 86/100 - about three and a half stars out of four.
Brad Pitt to star as gunslinger Jesse James
The Comprehensive Story of The Charles Manson Family and Their
Online Encyclopedia - Sexual-slang
vaginoscopio - half vagina, half kaleidoscope
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
If you are familiar with the reality show, Blind
Date, this is the footage from the Blind Date "Uncensored" DVD. This
date involved porn star Nicole Sheridan. It will be a long download,
but it is pretty entertaining stuff. (.avi version, .wmv version)
I love this scene. Short. but sweet. Melissa George
in Dark City. (.avi version, .wmv version)
Tuna covered this in the past couple of days.
Mary-Louise Parker in The Five Senses. (.avi version, .wmv version)
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
First up from the Ghost....
'Caps and a .wmv of Julie Delpy topless and being groped in a scene from "An American Werewolf in Paris."
Next up, 'caps and a .wmv of Vanity topless in scenes from the 1988 B-movie, "Action Jackson" starring Carl Weathers, Craig T. Nelson and a pre-fame Sharon Stone.
'Caps and comments by Dann:
If I make a statement such as "this 2003 mess is probably the worst horror film I've ever seen", you'd expect me to back it up, right? Let me quote the best line in the movie, by Kari Beltzer's character, Debra: "She's such a stuck-up bitch. I bet she takes dick up every hole".
That line pretty much sets the tone for the movie, but don't get the impression this R-rated pile of garbage has a lot of sexy stuff, because there's no real sex, and the nudity is basically just an effort to ease the pain. I love B-movie horror, but this gets an F for worse-than-high-school-drama-class acting, terrible photography, horrid not-even-good-enough-to-be-called-lame script, etc. It's pure trash.
||The super-sexy Vulcan showing a whole lot o' leg during an appearance on "The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn".
|Johnny Moronic salutes the sexy Canadian brunette with these 'caps featuring scenes from 3 of her movies.
Here's the lo-down:
Links 1-6...Black undies and red dresses in scenes from "Wishmaster 3".
Links 7 and 8...Showing a little cleavage in "Ripper: Letter from Hell".
Links 9-14...Topless and some partial rear nudity in scenes from "40 Days and 40 Nights".
|Topless in a lesbian love scene from the 1996 movie "Female Perversions". 'Caps by the Skin-man.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
BIKINI MODEL'S BOOK REFLECTS HER THOUGHTS: BLANK
Her Arms Are Too Short To Hold Them In Front Of Her - The Daily Mirror
reports that siliconed British bikini model Jordan made an appearance at
the London Book Fair to hawk her upcoming autobiography. But when the
publisher handed her some copies to hold for photos, she dropped them on
the floor and onlookers noticed the pages were blank. The publisher
insisted those were just props, and the book would be ready by the end of
May to ship to 250,000 people who've already ordered it.
Fortunately, they all ordered it for the cover.
Even Jordan ordered a copy. She can't WAIT to find out what she wrote!
250,000 pre-orders? It must be a pop-up book.
I don't know which is more depressing: that a bikini model got a book
contract, or that 250,000 people pre-ordered her book.
MOUTH-SHAPED URINAL DENOUNCED
For Men Who Think Kissing Madonna Would Be Sexy - Fashion Wire Daily
reports that there is a controversial bathroom fixture in the new Virgin
Airways Clubhouse at New York's JFK Airport. It's a urinal called "Kisses"
that's shaped like a wide-open female mouth, with bright red lipstick.
Critics call it gross and sexist, but the Dutch design team Bathroom Mania
calls it "sexy" and "one target men will never miss."
These guys are one target women won't miss.
They also installed a really beautiful golden shower stall.
Another clever touch: the "tongue stud" is a urinal cake.
Any woman who sees this will want to remain a virgin.
THE FIFTH BEATLE REVEALED
He's Very Clean - Paul Cole, 92, of Barefoot Bay, Florida, may be the most
famous man nobody's ever heard of. The New York Post reports that Cole is
the man in the sports coat in the background of the Beatles' "Abbey Road"
album cover. He was vacationing in London in 1969, and as he stood on the
sidewalk, he noticed four long-haired guys "dressed like kooks," one of
them barefoot, crossing the road in a line "like ducks." He didn't even
know a photo was being taken until six months later, when he saw the album.
He said he still gets a laugh knowing he's in millions of homes and is
"the other Paul."
So there really was another Paul, and neither one of them is dead!
He's so hard to spot, he's more like "the other Waldo."
He remembers shouting, "Quit jaywalking, you punks! Ya wanna be Abbey
THIEVES LOOT ELVIS' JEWELRY
TCB: Takin' Care Of Burglars - Sunday night in Las Vegas, thieves drove a
stolen tow truck through the back door of the Elvis-A-Rama museum and
smashed display cases with lead pipes. In less than five minutes, they made
off with $325,000 worth of Elvis Presley's jewelry and kitsch. They took
everything from Elvis' high school ring to an "E.P. diamond pendant to a
gold-plated handgun. But they must not have been Elvis fans: they left the
most valuable item: his million-dollar pair of blue suede shoes.
It's as if they could hear Elvis singing, "You can do anything, but stay
offa my blue suede shoes!"
Maybe they just thought those would be pretty hard to sell on eBay.
Ironically, they stole all the jewelry so they could afford expensive