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"Reform School Girls" (1986)

Reform School Girls (1986) is, according to writer/director Tom DeSimone, a send-up of women in prison films. While every cliche is present, and most of the performances are way over the top, that is also true of the genre it is purporting to lampoon. For me, it was more of a loving homage. Does this mean I didn't like it? I adored it. It is something like watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show for the umteenth time. Every element you have come to expect from this genre is here:

1) Shower scenes
2) Female Warden with a Nazi attitude (Sybil Danning)
3) Evil butch dyke matron (Pat Ast, see upper right of each image)
4) Towers
5) Barb wire
6) Skimpy uniforms
7) Solitary Confinement
8) Evil butch dyke prisoner (rock star Wendy O. Williams) with a "special arrangement" with the matron (Wendy O. Williams)
9) Escape attempts
10) Wrongfully accused prisoner
11) Riots
12) Food fights
13) Sex with a male employee who later double-crosses
14) A well-meaning but naive shrink
15) Cat fights
16) Fire hose scene
17) Did I mention shower scenes?

The basic plot follows a group of 6 "new fish" who don't mesh smoothly with the power structure. The strongest of the 6, Linda Carol, doesn't take shit, so immediately runs afoul of Williams. As the images show, there is a plethora of clear exposure, including full frontal. The DVD quality is good, and loaded with special features, including a full length commentary. The critics pretty much trash this film, with Maltin awarding 1 1/2 stars, and IMDB readers agreeing at 4.1/10, but then, isn't "trash" the entire point of this genre? It is a C, as it has no cross-over appeal, but if you were to rate the C grade from 1 to 10, this film is a near perfect 10.

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  • Group Shots (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)
  • Linda Carol (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
  • Wendy O. Williams (1, 2, 3)
  • Sherri Stoner

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    The ol' PoleCat checked in with a couple more, and we picked up an ID from yesterday's pics. Many of you identified the actor as Robert Davi, who is not the son of famed oenologist and vintner Robert Mon Davi. Only Celebrity Sleuth, the Sultan of Snatch, was able to identify the actress and the movie. The woman is Lara Harris, and the movie is "The Dogfighters", aka "The Zone", made as recently as 1995, yet already a classic. Sleuth comments, "Davis is blackmailed into trying to destroy a plutonium plant in an Eastern European country. Don't you just hate it when that happens?"

    Well, actually, as an Eastern European, I'm just thrilled when Westerners think we are smart enough to have plutonium. In most movies we just have old ladies who are in touch with evil spirits. I know my own mom used to stay in touch with virtually every evil spirit, and I've saved almost all their Christmas Cards. You know, evil spirits may be evil, but there's a little kid in all of their wicked hearts when it comes to Christmas.

    • Here's Lara Harris (1, 2)

    The Big Cat also did

    • Isabella Rossellini in Blue Velvet
    • Mira Sorvino in At First Sight. Boy, her career is on fire now, isn't it? You'd think a woman who graduated magna cum laude from Harvard would be able to figure out a better way to make a living.



    Actually, I thought I'd chat about what the oddsmakers are saying. Let me clarify. You can read stories in Entertainment Weekly or USA Today about the odds as posted by "Las Vegas Oddsmakers". Forget those, they are bullshit. Their money is not on the line. They may be the same guys that do the sports books, but they don't have to worry about losing their shirts. The odds are completely hypothetical and for entertainment only because Nevada state law prohibits wagers on events in which the outcome already is known to someone. The UK bookmakers have no such qualms. You can link to them below, or you can actually call Toals if you care to. They are in Belfast at (028) 9031-1721. These are real live betting odds, and you can actually place these bets. (Odds may change by the time you read this, or before you get there).

    I guess the most interesting thing to me is that they still consider Crowe/Hanks too close to call. I thought Crowe was running away with it. The current IMDB poll is listed for reference. I was surprised to see that Ang Lee is the runaway favorite to win best director, despite Soderbergh's two nominations, and despite the fact that Crouching doesn't seem to be destined for best picture. It appears that Crouching will win Best Cinematography and (of course) best Foreign-language Film.

    Some people who are likely to miss out, despite meritorious performances:

    1. Soderbergh. Despite his multiple nominations, it appears that he'll lose Best Pic to Scott's Gladiator, and he'll lose best director to Ang Lee.

    2. Dafoe. An uncanny performance, eerie and funny. I liked Del Toro as well, but it's a shame they can't both win something.

    3. Caleb Deschanel (Zooey's dad. She was the stewardess sister in Almost Famous). Hey, Scoopy, WTF are you talking about? "The Patriot" sucked. Yes, it did, kinda, but it is one of the most beautifully photographed movies I've ever seen, if not THE single best. The crappy script shouldn't have penalized the spectacular photography, but it did. Let me point out that the American Society of Cinematographers gave this film their award for best Cinematography. That's the other cinematographers sayin' Patriot was the best, and Crouching Tiger was also a nominee!

    I think the Oscars need to expand or re-engineer their system. There are so many crap movies made every year, why should Soderbergh and Deschanel go home feeling like losers when they produce some of the rare truth and beauty in the industry? Is it really necessary to choose only one "winner" from so many?

    Hey, why wasn't Glam nominated for anything?

    Best Picture Stan Toals IMDB VOTING (%)
    Gladiator 2/5 1/3 34
    Traffic 11/4 7/2 21
    Dragon 6/1 6/1 36
    Brockovich 12/1 12/1 5
    Chocolat 20/1 20/1 2
    Best Actor      
    R Crowe 8/11 5/6 39
    T Hanks 11/8 6/5 30
    E Harris 7/1 14/1 11
    G Rush 10/1 10/1 10
    J Bardem 14/1   8
    Best Actress      
    J Roberts 1/8 1/7 50
    J Binoche 9/1 10/1 12
    L Linney 9/1 10/1 9
    J Allen 12/1 12/1 8
    E Burstyn 12/1   18
    Best Supporting Actor      
    Del Toro   1/3 44
    Finney   7/2 8
    Best Supporting Actress      
    Hudson   6/5 45
    Dench   7/4 15
    Best Director      
    A Lee   4/7 43
    S Soderbergh   5/2 23
    R Scott   11/4 25
    Here's part 1 of what looks like is going to be a 3 (or even 4) part project. The movie is 1973 "Les Avaleuses"...the story" Lina is a Countess with a family vampire curse. But it's nothing more than 70's Euro-softcore.

    I love what one IMDb reader wrote...
    "Lina Romay stars as a vampire who sucks, among other things, the life out of her victims. This includes doing everyone in the movie, including one lucky bed post."


    In this first batch, RDO brings home a ton of topless and full frontal frames, plus several shots from the gyno-cam as well (links 8,9,10).

  • Lina Romay (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

  • Snowblind
    A bunch of nudity from the 1976 movie "Intimate Games"

    Anna Bergman Fully nude, but breast exposure only.

    Felicity Devonshire Topless, and some nice cleavage.

    Heather Deeley and Suzy Mandel Full frontal, rear nudity, and some lesbo action.

    Maria St. Clare Full frontal and full dorsal nudity.

    Monica Ringwald More frontal and rear nudity.

    Another round of French vidcaps...

    Catherine Allégret Breast exposure in an outfit that must be a tribute to "A Clockwork Orange". Vidcaps from 1982's "Josepha".

    Julie Arnold Brief nip slip in scenes from "Les vertues du sport".

    Bambou No, not the stuff pandas eat, unless they eat topless women on French TV. Vidcaps from "Disco fièvre du mardi soir". Which roughly translates to "Disco Latino...Tuesday Night Fever". I guess all of the exciting nights of the week were spoken for.

    Marianne Basler Partial breast exposure in scenes from "Le Beauf" (1986).

    Sarah Bertrand Topless in love scenes from "Louise et les marchés" (1998)

    Claire Borotra
    (1, 2)

    Bare bum, plus partial breast exposure from "Le Bois du Pardoux".
    and ...
    Simone Hanselmann Without question, this is my choice for pic of the day. Thanks to Jedilein for this scan of the German actress.

    Stefania Sandrelli
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    From the 1983 Tinto Brass movie "La Chiave" by UC99. Naturally, since it's Tinto, you know you can expect topless nudity, full frontal nudity, rear nudity, bath tub nudity, gyno-cam nudity, and a ton of sex scenes. Plus these have the added bonus of some old guy gettin' it on with Stefania. Go old Dude!

    Beth Riesgraf part 1
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Beth Riesgraf part 2
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    A little known actress (in fact this is her only IMDb credit), but oddly enough she seems to be pretty popular in the land of the vidcappers. These topless scenes are from "Erotic Tales IV: "The Summer Of My Deflowering" ". Part 1 is by DeVo and features a more collage-like format. Part 2 were submitted by PhD and are full-sized single frames.

    Margot Kidder
    (1, 2)

    I have never found Margot attractive, not even way back in the day. But I have to give ZonononZor extra credit for these collages that pay tribute to her role in "The Amityville Horror". These near misses of exposure are almost enough to make me change my mind. If she doesn't speak and puts a bag over her head, that could finally turn me to the dark side.

    Juliette Binoche The best and largest I've seen so far of Juliette's nip slip from the SAG awards.

    Kate Hudson An excellent collage by Dann from "Almost Famous".

    About the DVD....
    Scoop wasn't kiddin' wait for the Directors cut before you buy this one! I had already ordered mine before I heard the warning. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing really wrong with this version. But it's obvious that this was a rush job. Some of the graphics look a bit sloppy in places. For example, one really cool feature are the actual Rolling Stone articles Crowe wrote as a teenager back in the 70's. While the articles are great. It almost looks like they scanned the magazine, made it a jpg, compressed it a few times, and then stuck it on the DVD. Very hard to read at times. Another gimp feature is the "behind the scenes" thing. It ran on cable almost every day when the movie was first released. Kind of a ripoff. But don't blame Cameron Crowe, the movie still looks, and is great. But I for one look forward to more features, and a little better presentation.

    Angela Grant From Donbun, full frontal 'caps of the busty b actress in scenes from "Bare Deception".

    Click Here!