Pat's comments in yellow...
JESSICA SIMPSON STANDS UP REPUBLICANS
But Bush Had 100 Questions About "The Dukes Of Hazzard!" - Wednesday night,
attendees at a Republican fundraiser were disappointed when Jessica Simpson
failed to appear. She was slated as a guest to promote her pet charity,
Operation Smile, which provides plastic surgery for disadvantaged children
with deformities, and was even promised a seat next to House Majority
Leader John Boehner and private time with President Bush. But after a day
of conflicting signals from her people, she finally backed out, claiming
she was concerned about politicizing the charity.
* And we're supposed to believe Jessica used the word "politicizing?"
* Having no talent didn't keep her from getting movie roles, but being seen with Republicans would.
* Her charity provides plastic surgery for children with deformities, such as small breasts...Afterward, they look so beautiful, they get record contracts.
* John Boehner's entire family was so upset, they all stayed home...No Jessica Simpson, no Boehners.
* Just as well: if Jessica Simpson and George W. Bush were alone in the same room, their combined brain power might cause the universe to implode.
"PIE" STAR'S EX WANTS A BUNDLE
A Piece Of The Pie - Joe Reitman, the estranged husband of "American Pie"
sexpot Shannon Elizabeth, is suing her not just for marital community
property but for half of all the assets she accumulated during the five
years they lived together before they got married. He wants half of
everything, from property and business assets to furniture and artwork.
Reitman, an actor who's had only occasional TV bit parts, took credit for
her career, claiming that Elizabeth became a successful actress because she
was "enhanced by (his) coaching, connections, training, assistance and
* No, she's successful because she was enhanced by a plastic surgeon.
* Apparently, he only knows how to make hot female actors successful.
* If he can make a jury swallow that, then I'll believe he knows all about acting.