"Army of Darkness"

Army of Darkness (1993) is a horror/sword & sorcery spoof that somewhat legitimately claims to be Evil Dead III, in that it involves the Book of the Dead, and stars Bruce Campbell. The book sucks him back into the middle ages, where he is hailed as the promised one and their savior, and must get the book to get home. Along the way, the film is a sendup of both horror and hack 'n slash films, with a large helping of Three Stooges.

Embeth Davidtz is his love interest, and briefly shows a nipple in a short and very dark sex scene in the newly released director's cut. The film has a huge following, and is best appreciated with a belly full of pizza and a head full of bear in the company of similarly prepared friends. IMDB readers have it at 7/3 of 10. Ebert awards 2 stars, but Berardinelli enjoyed it more at 3 stars. The special effects are often impressive, and the film is non-stop action, which tends to keep you awake. This is a solid genre film, adored by fans, but with very little to offer those who dislike the genre. C.

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  • Embeth Davidtz (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    White Oleander (2002)

    The story follows a young girl's travels through various types of foster care in the years after her mother is convicted of murder. Over the course of time, the girl comes to understand a lot more about her mother's actions, and about life in general. The story chronicles the ups and down in the girl's life, as well as the parallels in her relationship with the murderous mother.

    Michelle Pfeiffer was nominated by the SAG as best supporting actress (losing to Zeta) for her portrayal against type as the selfish, scheming, thoroughly detestable mother who proves herself still capable of a noble action when her daughter's welfare is on the line. Robin Wright and Renee Zellweger rounded out the talented cast. Zellweger did a great job, but her character was just too pathetic for my taste. Similarly, Wright did a good job at bringing some depth to a poorly-written cartoon role as a caricatured white trash foster mom.

    I don't have much to say about this movie. While there is nothing especially good about it other than glossy production values and a talented cast, there is nothing very bad about it either, except for some one-dimensional characters, and I was able to keep my hands from the fast forward button. Although it is a soap opera and the source novel was once an Oprah Book Club selection,  it is about equally appealing to men and women, as reflected in both IMDB scores and CinemaScore exit polls.


    • Robin Wright Penn. No REAL nudity, but here is her entire butt in thong underpants.



    Scoop- There is also an "18a" rated Canadian DVD version of Monsters Ball released by Lions Gate Entertainment. Is that the uncut version ?

    I don't know. Spaz? Tuna? If any of you guys who watch a lot of Canadian DVDs know the answer, please pass it along to me, and I'll print it here.


    Other crap:

    What're the odds?


    I looked for the first-blush odds on the NCAA tournament, but I guess they aren't ready yet.

    In the meantime:

    75th Academy Awards: Best Picture

    Ice down the champagne. According to the bookies, Chicago almost has it in the bag.

    Bet Selections Win Odds
    Chicago 1.3
    The Gangs of New York 5.0
    The Hours 5.0
    The Pianist 11.0
    The Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers 13.0



    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Vejiita takes a look at "Free Enterprise". If you're a Trekkie, this is a must see. A wonderful tribute to the fans of the franchise, and of course Bill Shatner is fantastic in an over the top role making fun of himself. IMDB lists that a sequel has been announced for a 2004 release. I'm not sure why, but what the heck, the first one was fun!
    • Audie England, brief breast exposure. (1, 2)

    • Lori Lively, brief breast and views. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    A great collection of B&W scans of sexy supermodels.

    Lara Flynn Boyle
    (1, 2)

    Showing off some very lovely breasts in scenes from "The Road to Wellville" (1994). 'Caps by Pappa.

    Anu Sinisalo Topless 'caps by Finn from the Finnish movie "Kymmenen riivinrautaa" (2002).

    Julie Graham Great full frontal 'caps of the Scottish actress in scenes from "With or Without You" (1999), also by Finn.

    Jennifer Aniston Some partial breast exposure at a red carpet event.

    Barbara Phillips The German actress topless in scenes from a recent episode of the series "Gnadenlose Bräute" by Slartibartfast.

    Rya Kihlstedt
    Carla Gugino
    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    One of the Creature Feature series, this 2001 made-for-cable movie follows the familiar format of the series: nudity and violence.

    It's a not-great movie, with a surprisingly good cast including Carla Gugino and a great-looking (and topless) lady fish, Rya Kihlstedt. Watch it for the women, not the story.

    Salma Hayek
    (1, 2, 3)

    Salma looking very sexy and showing a bunch of cleavage on "Saturday Night Live. Vidcaps by Grock.

    Jamie Lee Curtis
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Great 'caps of a classic moment in nude cinema history as Curtis goes topless in scenes from "Trading Places".