• Charlie's French Cinema Site is updated



* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.







How to be a Player

How to be a Player (1997) is a lightweight sex farce staring Bill Bellamy, who has a live-in girlfriend, and half a dozen other lovers to take up his time when she is working. His baby sister, plump and unpopular, desperately wants to get him busted, and, with the help of her girlfriend Mari Morrow, hits on a perfect plan. She will invite all of his women to a party he is attending. Unaware of the peril he is in, he spends the day hanging with his home boys, and tapping the odd booty. Along the way, one of his friends, trying to imitate his life style, gets busted when his girlfriend forces her way in in time to see Jazsmin Lewis come down the stairs topless.

After a BBQ at his mother's house, he is off to the party ...

It is not PC, but is not consistently funny, either. The good news is that it never takes itself seriously.

I estimate that it is a C- as a sex comedy.


  • IMDb readers have this at 4.4
  • It did enjoy a theatrical release, and earned $14M against a budget of only $5.74M.


Amber Smith




Jazsmin Lewis



Mari Morrow




Two unknowns












Married to the Mob

The Time Machine zips back to 1988 for Married To  The Mob. Nancy Travis who played the girl friend on "Becker" shows off some skin that Ted Danson never got to see. Nice ass.







La Fille De Lady Chatterley


Julia Clifford lives in a boarding school, where she spends all her free time reading over and over again the "Lady Chatterley's Lover" book. She wants to be like Lady Chatterley. She visits her aunt on a holiday, where she meets the lover of none other than her mother. He gets very disturbed when he sees her because she reminds him of his former mistress, and tries to ignore her.

Following Chatterley's prescription, she starts to seduce him ...




Solange Cousseau


Allesandra Bruni




Gala Orlova








Shortbus, 2006, is a comedy/drama, but probably unlike most you've seen. It is a story with a sexual theme, but what makes it really controversial is that the scenes are not only explicit, but real. The actors were recruited in New York City where it was set, and all agreed to perform real sex acts, so nothing was simulated. The critics loved it, but there's no escaping the fact that certain shots are exactly what you see in a porn film, although I left the most explicit stuff out of the collages.

Sofia (Sook-Yin Lee) is a couples therapist, happily married, and very much enjoying the frequent sex she has with her husband. Unfortunately, she has one little secret: she's never had an orgasm, which is rather ironic for a couples therapist.

Sofia decides to explore her sexuality and try to solve her problem by going to Shortbus, a private club where couples gather to work out their sexual tensions and desires, and also have tons of group sex. Interacting with the people there help her to work out her sexual tensions.

The film is interesting, although frankly I found parts of it extremely draggy. It's very talky, and although there is plenty of nudity and sex, they kept the sex scenes fairly short, leaving an awful lot of time for philosophizing about sex. Still, the sex is there, explicit, and both heterosexual and homosexual. Frankly, I think the critics that loved it are just trying to prove how "enlightened" they are, because I basically found it boring.

Lindsay Beamish Shanti Carson Sook-Yin Lee







No words today, just Victoria Silvstedt!








Here are clips of what has to be the oddest porno movie ever made, entitled Pastries. Most of it is lame comedy, randomly interspersed with money shots from old grainy loops. And I do mean random in the mathematical sense of the word, as in occurring without rhyme, reason or pattern. But the movie has Uschi Digart, the two Sandys of 70's crossover fame (Carey and Dempsey) and a couple of other fine looking women. Not much more to say except that every reason you might have to watch the film is right here.

The file named "Sandy Dempsey 2a" is something of an oddity. If you match the character in this scene with Sandy to the actress listed in IMDb you come up with Rene Bond. That cannot be true...doesn't look a thing like her. No matter, she's something of a babe, herself.







Notes and collages

"Farscape" - Part 5 (for real this time)

Scoop's note: Yesterday's group was really part 4. It was just a coincidence that the caps jump from episode 10 to episode 14. Rok did no caps from them because he found nothing capworthy!

Virginia Hey, Ep 17

Virginia Hey, Ep 18

Gigi Edgley, Ep 17

Gigi Edgley, Ep 18






Ivana Milicevic in Casino Royale

Spanish Speakers

Elsa Pataky in the timeless screen romance Romasanta: Werewolf Hunt






Pat's comments in yellow...

On his daily radio show, Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez said that when he called President Bush a donkey, a drunkard and a devil, it was "nothing personal."  Chavez said Bush is part of a long line of US administrations that he opposes for "deep ethical, political, historic and geopolitical" reasons; but "one day, if maybe George Bush and I survive all of this, we will reach old age, and it would be good to play a game of dominos, street baseball..."

 *  “…maybe take in a Dixie Chicks concert…”

 *  Heck, Bush is willing to take him on a hunting trip with Dick Cheney right now!

 *  So he’s just a political windbag who calls his opponents names…No wonder he has a daily radio show! 


Tadeus Konopizc of Zakopane, Poland, drank a bottle of vodka after his wife left him.  Then he flew into a drunken rage, grabbed a kitchen knife and cut off his own penis.  

*  That’s the Polish way of getting revenge on your wife.