"The Five Senses"

The Five Senses (2000) is arty, slow paced, has very little plot, and is actually several sub-plots rolled into one film. All of the characters live in, or have business in the same apartment building, and the disappearance of a little girl provides the time line, as well as some of the sub-plots. The five senses are the theme, each sub-plot representing one of the senses. We have a gay man that can smell love, a shrink who loves classical music and is going deaf, a massage therapist, and a cake decorator in love with her Italian teacher. The entire film is more about characters and moods then story . It's strength is in film making and character development, but not story telling. The director shows real ability to let us learn about the characters as they learn about themselves, rather than in some narrative form. One of my criteria for a film is always if there is anyone in the story I can relate to or like. This is an entire film full of characters that meet that description.

IMDb readers have this at 6.9 of 10, very high for an art film. Critics loved it. This is an excellent effort from Canadian director Jeremy Podeswa.. He also wrote and produced. I hope he tries another feature length film soon. This is a B with far wider appeal than a normal art house character driven drama.

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  • Mary-LouiseParker (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Molly Parker (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    "Boys Dont Cry"

    Boys Don't Cry (1999) is the controversial biopic about lesbian Teena Brandon, who was brutally raped then murdered because of her sexual orientation. Hilary Swank won Best Actress Oscar and Golden Globe for her portrayal. Costar Chloe Sevigny was nominated for the Golden Globe best supporting spot.

    Brandon is no angel. She has a history of crime, including check forging and grand theft auto. She is a complete cross-dresser, has a drinking problem, and is always getting herself in trouble. When she first sees Sevigny, it is love at first sight, and Brandon succeeds in seducing her. Her sexual performance was good enough that Sevigny didn't notice, or at least consciously admit to herself, that Brandon was a biological female. Unfortunately, Sevigny's family and friends discover the truth about Brandon. While Brandon was no saint, the friends and family of Sevigny are much worse.

    Swank shows all three Bs, but none of them with her face in frame. I do not, however, suspect a body double. Sevigny shows breasts in two sex scenes. IMDb readers have this at 7.6 of 10. It earned $11.5M against a $2M budget. Ebert says four stars, Berardinelli, 3 1/2. This is not an especially pleasant watch, and much of it takes place at night, making for a dark film. It does, however, give much insight into what life was like for Brandon, and the sort of pressure folks who choose an alternate lifestyle are subject to in many parts of the country. This is a B, but is in the category of excellent films that are something of a chore to watch.

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  • Chloe Sevigny (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)
  • Hilary Swank (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    The Comfort of Strangers (2003):

    A young British couple returns to Venice, where they had once shared a fiery romance. They have lost some of that flame, and hope to rekindle it. While there, they get lost one night and are rescued by a mysterious Italian who resides in a nearby palazzo. As the film progresses, the normal young couple start to realize that the older man and his wife are very strange, and will eventually require something very intimate and perverse from the young Brits. At first, the younger couple sees hints of mild eccentricity in the elder duo, but the hints become flagrant, and the mild eccentricities turn out to be deep psychoses. The primary dramatic tension in the film hinges on whether the young couple will recognize their apparent, if unstated, peril in time to escape from it. The secondary source of dramatic movement is the audience's curiosity about exactly what that peril might be.

    This movie has "menacing" down to a science. Here's the formula:

    • hire Harold Pinter to write the screenplay

    • get Christopher Walken and Helen Mirren to deliver the lines

    • set it in Venice late at night, where every corridor seems to lead into a desolate, foggy, dead-end, and every road is a waterfront.

    • shoot every camera angle with a weird twist.

    • add the extra touches. Have a tracking shot sneak through an alley and come upon the young lovers. Have doors and windows being opened by unseen hands. Show plenty of close-ups of potential weapons for murder or torture.

    You get the picture.

    Comfort was directed by Paul Shrader, who co-wrote Martin Scorsese's best films. Shrader's direction is not as accomplished as his writing, but he's had some interesting if not altogether successful directing credits, like Light Sleeper, Cat People, and last year's Bob Crane biopic, Auto Focus. As you can see from that list, he likes dark, sexual themes and is not afraid of nudity.

    I liked the movie, although it is certainly not a mass market offering. A truly creepy, odd, ultimately mean-spirited film which makes brilliant use of Walken as the vehicle for Pinter's omnipresent sense of dripping menace lurking beneath a patina of polite words. Walken, who is menacing while being amiable and polite, even while being gracious, was meant to act in Pinter's screenplays. There could be no better setting for these sinister goings-on than Venetian alleys and interiors.  This is probably the most fully realized example of Harold Pinter's genius on film, just as Langrishe Go Down is probably the worst example of Pinter-to-film.

    C+. 6.0 at IMDb. 2.5 stars from Roger Ebert.

    • Natasha Richardson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)








    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap






    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.



    • Shiloh stays on top of The L-Word. On Sunday, Rosanna Arquette showed some buns, and Katherine Moenning again flashed her gazongas. (.avi version, .wmv version)

    • Susan Ward and Leila Arcieri in Wild Things 2. Arcieri's character takes the bra off, but her breasts and head are never in the shot together. (.avi version, .wmv version)

    • Laura Linney in Love, Actually. Nice quality clip, not yet on DVD! (.avi version, .wmv version)


    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    A bunch of paparazzi edits by Brainscan.

    'Caps and comments by Oz:

    "The Awakening of Gabriella"
    Susan Featherly is Gabriella, and when you see some of the main actresses include Crystal Craft, Jeannie Millar, Anna Kaminskaia and Taime Hannum you know this film is not going to appear at the Academy Awards. There is some brief bush by Susan and the other actresses are at least topless. Judging by the editing I'd guess there is a more explicit version of this film out there somewhere.

    • Susan Featherly (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
    • Crystal Craft (1, 2)
    • Jeannie Millar (1, 2, 3)
    • Anna Kaminskaia (1, 2)
    • Taime Hannum (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Unknowns (1, 2)

    "Carry on Follow That Camel"
    No nudity in Carry on Follow That Camel but Anita Harris looks exquisite doing a belly dance.

    • Anita Harris (1, 2, 3)

    "Perfect Strangers"
    Perfect Strangers is a British mini-series and we see a topless Claire Skinner and a nice Sarah Guyler.

    "The Haunting Passion"
    The Haunting Passion is a telemovie and was very predictable. Some minor pokies by Jane Seymour.

    • Jane Seymour (1, 2, 3, 4)

    "Once Upon a Time in the West"
    Sexy caps of Claudia Cardinale from Once Upon a Time in the West have appeared before but I don't think the brief (two frames!) nip slip has.

    • Claudia Cardinale (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Very good pokies by Liz Phair and Robin Tunney in Cherish, with some side nudity by Robin.

    "Bad Company"
    Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon is supposed to be naked when taking a shower in Bad Company but she is obviously wearing something. However, there are some nice caps anyway.

    • Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon (1, 2)

    "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood"
    The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood is a bit of a chick flick but there are some nice caps, including some pokies, of Ashley Judd, Katy Selverstone, Kiersten Warren and Sandra Bullock.

    Reese Witherspoon
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    A new Vejitta comic featuring 'caps of Reese in bathing suit scenes from "Cruel Intentions" and "Legally Blonde" as well as her only toplessness in scenes from "Twilight".

    Janet Jackson
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    New versions of the recent paparazzi pics of Jackson sunbathing nude.

    Judith M. Brown
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Señor Skin takes us back to 1971 for these topless 'caps from "Women in Cages".

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Want Fries With That? - With McDonald's eliminating Supersizing and Krispy Kreme working on a low-sugar donut, one fast food chain is bucking the health trend. California's Fatburger is launching a nationwide expansion of 250 new restaurants. A spokesman insists that the name harks back to its '50s origins, when "fat" meant "cool," as in "fat city." He also noted that they have a grilled chicken sandwich and will offer a low-carb bunless burger. But the signature sandwich is still the Fatburger, with 1/3 pound of meat, or the Double Fatburger, with two-thirds of a pound of meat.

  • Also affectionately known as "The Bulimic's Delight."
  • To be healthy, order it without a bun.
  • If you're on a diet, finish your meal with a low-sugar Krispy Kreme donut.
  • Eat enough of those, and YOU'LL be expanding nationwide.

    America's Sweetheart - A Cleveland County, North Carolina, woman was charged along with some relatives and accomplices, with running a drug ring out of her home. She's 96, which makes her America's oldest alleged crack dealer. Her name: Julia Roberts.

  • And she's got as much money as the famous one.
  • She blamed it on her ne'er-do-well 99-year-old brother, Eric Roberts.
  • They're making a movie about her called "Pretty Old Woman"...It's just like the original, only this Julia Roberts is older, and a crack whore (with a heart of gold, of course).

    Homer Erectus - The Wireless Flash reports that the men's magazine Maxim will feature a new kind of hot cover girl: Marge Simpson. She'll appear on an upcoming issue posing in a wet, low-cut dress while scrubbing a floor, and inside the magazine in bed with her blue hair down. The editor-in-chief called her "the sexiest mama in toon town," and said working with the Simpsons artists to capture Marge wasn't much different than working with a live cover model. But to hedge their bets, only a third of the issues will feature Marge on the cover, and the rest will have Paris Hilton.

  • So the theme will be "Two-dimensional cartoons."
  • Paris Hilton? How about somebody really sexy, like Jessica Rabbit or Betty Rubble?!
  • If Marge can find Homer sexy, she must be every Maxim reader's dream woman.
  • They had to use Marge: she's the only woman on TV who hasn't already posed for a men's magazine, other than Peggy Hill.

    Screw That "Judge Not" Crap! - According to Parade magazine's annual "What People Earn" issue, such hot celebrities as Simon Cowell ($2.3 million), Anna Nicole Smith ($1 million), and even Halle Berry ($15 million) made far less last year than Judge Judy ($25 million).

  • Simon Cowell's gonna have to get a LOT meaner.
  • Anna Nicole actually made $25 million, but she spent $24 million of it on breast implants and Cap'n Crunch cereal.
  • In a related story, Anna Nicole Smith asked Judge Judy to come to San Francisco and marry her.