Sunday

Casino Job

2009

This is the soft-core spin on Ocean's 11. Some hot chicks execute an elaborate plan to get revenge on a scumbag casino owner.

I have to say that the film is not so bad by B-movie standards, because the girls are both pretty and naked, and the script is decent. The complex scam held my attention throughout the entire film, and there were two pretty nifty plot twists at the end. Having noted that, I have to add that the execution of the film is far worse than the basic story line. Some shots are good, and a few of the actors are respectable, but other actors and camera set-ups seem to be right out of hard-core porn films, and the dialogue is definitely not the script's strength.

In other words, you could take this script, punch up the dialogue, hire professional actors, and make a decent movie out of the core idea, even though the actual movie is only a pale shadow of that hypothetical movie.

The clips below are self-reviewing.

The four main women got totally naked front and rear: Amylia Joiner, Ilsa Martinez, Deanna Minerva and Julia Beatty.

Model and commercial pitchwoman Irina Voronina showed her breasts and a thonged bottom, and performed in a VERY brief girl-girl scene. As you will see in the clip, I don't think she'll be taking any work from Meryl Streep. 

 

 

 

  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Prêt-à-Porter

2008

Scoop's notes: possibly Robert Altman's worst film. As I see it, it's about a four way tie for that dishonor, between O.C and Stiggs, Popeye, Dr T, and this film. IMDb rates those four in his bottom six, but adds two more into the mix. I have never seen those two, so they may well belong there.

Although Altman made movies for nearly 50 years, his reputation is based on two bursts of genius that emerged from an otherwise mediocre career. From 1970 to about 1978, the man was on fire and turned out movies that were interesting even when they were not his best efforts. Then he hit a major career slump in 1979-80 with Quintet and Popeye, and did not recover for a decade and a half. Then, out of the blue, he found his mojo in 1992-93 and knocked two homers back-to-back with The Player and Short Cuts. Then, just as quickly as he had surged back to prominence, he promptly made the abysmal Pret-a-Porter and never really hit his best stride again. His top seven films all come from those two productive periods.

The films from his two "oasis" periods. Median: 7.6, 100% above 6.0.

  1. (7.88) - 3 Women (1977)
  2. (7.80) - MASH (1970)
  3. (7.70) - The Player (1992)
  4. (7.70) - Short Cuts (1993)
  5. (7.69) - Nashville (1975)
  6. (7.59) - McCabe & Mrs. Miller (1971)
  7. (7.59) - The Long Goodbye (1973)
  8. (7.18) - Thieves Like Us (1974)
  9. (7.18) - Images (1972)
  10. (6.99) - California Split (1974)
  11. (6.90) - A Wedding (1978)
  12. (6.71) - Brewster McCloud (1970)
  13. (6.03) - Buffalo Bill and the Indians (1976)

The films from the desert: Median 5.9, fewer than half above 6.0.

  1. (7.28) - Come Back to the Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean (1982)
  2. (7.20) - Gosford Park (2001)
  3. (7.09) - Vincent & Theo (1990)
  4. (7.00) - A Prairie Home Companion (2006)
  5. (6.89) - That Cold Day in the Park (1969)
  6. (6.80) - Cookie's Fortune (1999)
  7. (6.71) - Streamers (1983)
  8. (6.24) - A Perfect Couple (1979)
  9. (6.21) - The Company (2003)
  10. (6.17) - Countdown (1968)
  11. (5.93) - The Delinquents (1957)
  12. (5.92) - Kansas City (1996)
  13. (5.71) - The Gingerbread Man (1998)
  14. (5.68) - Fool for Love (1985)
  15. (5.47) - HealtH (1980)
  16. (5.25) - O.C. and Stiggs (1985)
  17. (4.91) - Quintet (1979)
  18. (4.81) - Popeye (1980)
  19. (4.81) - Prêt-à-Porter (1994)
  20. (4.71) - Dr T and the Women (2000)
  21. (4.64) - Beyond Therapy (1987)

Having noted all that, one must concede that Altman was usually good at getting famous women naked, and he was at the top of his nudity game with this film, although the nudity is basically concentrated into the last few minutes, and does not come from the stars, except Sally Kellerman.

 

Sally Kellerman, Samples below.

 

Tracey Ullman, Samples below. If Tracey could live her life again, I'll bet she would not do this scene. She has a body made for radio.

Kasia Figura, Samples below.

various models, Samples below.

 

 

 

 

 

 


Ninja She-Devil

2009

Today we have a "Babe in Bondage," Yuma Asami, in the tender Oscar-bait drama known as "Ninja She Devil." In a role reportedly turned down by Judy Dench, yummy Yuma bares a boob while all strung up. Caps and a clip.


 

 

 

TV Land

 

Over in TV Land we have Tracy Byrnes of Fox Business News putting on a leg show while visiting on "Fox & Friends". Caps and an HD clip.


 

More from TV Land as my gal Amy Robach of the 'Today Show" shows off  more of those lovely gams. Caps and an HD clip.
 



 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

Sorority Boys

2002

Bree Turner

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Watchmen

(2009)

Cam quality capture of female superhero Silhouette  (Apollonia Vanova) and her girlfriend nurse (Leah Gibson), who play a couple of lesbians who get murdered early on in the movie.

Apollonia Vanova and Leah Gibson: sexy but dead

 


 

Kyon Kis Liye

(2003)

aka "Why? And for Whom?"

Canadian Bollywood film starring former model Ruby Dhalla before she went into politics. Even though this is very PG-rated she's trying to block its DVD distribution. D'uh, that stunt didn't work for Pamela Anderson.

 

 



A Bug and a Bag of Weed

(2006)

Canadian hoser comedy.

Amy Kerr (pink tank top) and Kristin Langille: very sexy

 


 

Diverted

(2009)

Recent CBC 9/11 movie based on diversion of jet airliners to the small town of Gander, Newfoundland.

Anita Majumdar: some nudity

Karen LeBlanc: cleavage


 



Freezer Burn: The Invasion of Laxdale

(2008)

Another Canadian hoser comedy this time starring Tom Green.

Sarain Boylan: partial boob.

Leona Brausen: mega cleavage

 


 

The Stone Angel

(2007)

Artsy fartsy movie with much theoretical nudity but only a couple of nipple sightings in reality

Christine Horne: various nudity

Nada Abdel Shahid: partial boob

Ellen Page: fully clothed sex in chair


 



Sex Drive

(2008)

Canadian actress Amanda Crew has a lead in this American sex comedy but manages to show nothing even though she took a whizz in a car radiator, had a catfight, nearly got raped by a lesbian bulldyke in prison, and finally got her anal cherry popped in the end.

Amanda Crew


 



The Stranger Beside Me

(2003)

Another Anne Rule biopic about Ted Bundy.

Suki Kaiser: a bit of side boob having prison conjugal sex.

Brenda James: sexy

unknowns: sexy but dead


 

 

 

 

 

 

Vice

2008

I like Michael Madson even though most of his work is from the Marlon Brando grunt and mumble school of acting, but this 2008 crime mystery is not his best, simply because the story tended to drag to a fairly obvious ending, not a good thing for a mystery.

Max is a detective who is having problems getting over the death of his wife, and he's not too particular how he does his job. Shoot an innocent young woman bystander by mistake? No problem, just throw down a gun and claim she was trying to kill him.

Max is the lead during a botched undercover drug deal where things go very badly, and even worse, the dope disappears. Max suspects one of his men grabbed the goods.

As Max comes under heat from Internal Affairs and tries to figure out what happened to the drugs, the men who were in on the bust start dying one-by-one. Now Max has an additional worry....is he next?

It sounds better than it was, and that's too bad. Writing killed this puppy. While the story isn't unique, telling it in a different way would have made it much more exciting.
 

Brenda Matthews Justine Warrington Sandra-Jessica Couturier

 

 

 

 

 

Pics

Cynthia Klitbo (Mexican soap opera actress)

 

Mai-Britt Vingsoe (Scandinavian TV hostess)

 

Film Clips

A young Elizabeth Hurley in Rowing With the Wind. She was 22 or 23 when this scene was filmed. This is the movie where Hugh Grant plays Lord Byron. As I mentioned in my review, you don't need Roger Fucking Ebert to tell you that's gonna suck.

Embeth Davitz in Winged Creatures

Laerke Winther Andersen and Signe Skov in En enkelt til Korsoer

Marg Helgenberger in Frame by Frame (aka Conundrum)