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Other Crap:
Conan O'Brien's latest quotables:
- "Earlier today, President Bush flew to New Orleans. There was
an awkward moment when the President looked around and said, 'Oh,
my God, what the hell happened here?'"
- "A new book is coming out about Barry Bonds' alleged steroid
use and one of the steroids the book accuses Bonds of using is
normally given to cattle. When reached for comment, Bonds said,
'Moo.'"
- "Today David Hasselhoff pleaded 'no contest' to a charge of
driving under the influence of alcohol. Police suspected
Hasselhoff was driving under the influence because his talking car
was slurring its words."
The trailer (R-rated) from Three, an erotic thriller
otherwise known as The Billy Zane Sinking Ship Tetrology, Part IV
(Dead Calm, Cleopatra, Titanic, Three).
- This is the film which Zane tried to block legally. Lots of
nudity from Kelly Brook
The trailers and a clip from Day Watch (The sequel to
Night Watch)
A clip from The Science of Sleep
- In director Michel Gondry's, "The Science of Sleep," life
seems to be looking up for shy and withdrawn Stephane (Gael García
Bernal) when he is coaxed to return to his childhood home with the
promise of a job...in the mundane world of copy setting. Wildly
creative, his fanciful and sometimes disturbing dream life
constantly threatens to usurp his waking world. Stephane is
quickly drawn to his neighbor, Stephanie (Charlotte Gainsbourg)
whose imagination easily matches his own. As their relationship
blossoms, the confidence Stephane exudes in his dreams begins
bleeding over into his real life. Unable to bear the prospect of a
waking world without Stephanie's love, and with no satisfying
solutions coming out of his dream world, Stephane faces a dilemma
he may not be able to depend on the science of sleep to help him
solve.
"What's so funny ...
Comedians talk about comedy at recent Aspen festival"
"KEN LAY CLAIMS COCONUT FELL ON HEAD, CAUSING AMNESIA"
... Controversial "Gilligan Defense" Makes Debut at Enron Trial
Nicollette Sheridan to marry "no-talent assclown", thus
proving herself even more desperate than her character.
Kate Moss buys a $350, 24 carat vibrator, the legendary
instrument which the conquistadors called "el dildo d'oro"
Travolta, J-Lo offered roles of JR and Sue Ellen in film version of
'Dallas'
Colin Farrell-Playboy pinup sex tape fight still alive
Colbert talks to satirist Christopher Buckley
Colbert Report:
"Stereotypes are the best tools we have to feel good about
ourselves."
Stephen Colbert discusses Mad Magazine's Al Jaffee
The Colbert Report computers become the first to project the 2008
elections
The Daily Show:
"It's a sign of how desperate things may be in the Middle East when
hopes rest on Sharon Stone."
Colbert's "Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger," zeroing in on the
Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
FOX News Watch host Eric Burns discusses his new book with Jon
Stewart.
The Daily Show's Rob Corddry talks about the Dubai ports deal
The Daily Show:
Jiffylubistan -- it services our military
The Daily Show looks at NASA's upcoming plans
Bush approval hits lowest point ever (36%)
- In the past year, during which the president has dropped from
44 to 36 in the polls, there has been virtually no change in his
approval from Democrats and some softening among Republicans, but
his approval among independents has dropped from 46% to 23%, and
that is what has driven his overall approval rating down
Ugly goings-on at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductions.
Movie Reviews:
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
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"Screwballs"
Screwballs (1983) is a Canadian teen High School titty comedy, In fact, the only real plot is that a group of guys who meet in detention all have the same ambition. Before homecoming, they want to see the breasts of Chastity Bush, the only virgin left on campus. Along they way, they set up one joke after another, and the payoff is always bare breasts. These breasts come from
Linda Speciale as Charity Bush, Raven De La Croix as a stripper, Linda Shane screwing at the drive-in, Kim Cayer on a diving board, Kimberly Brooks during strip bowling, Jennifer Inch during a bogus freshman girl breast exam and two unknowns. The group of guys includes the usual stereotypes, including the rich sophisticate, the fat guy who always jerks off, the nerd who applies science to seeing up girls dresses, and the clean cut looking newcomer.
IMDb readers have this at 4.4. Frankly, we have seen all of this before, and usually done better. The plot line is thin, and any good ideas were spoiled by inept direction and editing. This is the lowest possible C-.
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There is this movie entitled 50,000 Years B. C. (Before Clothing) and it is also called Nudes On Rocks. Made in 1963. Has a professor of some sort who lives in a trailor park and cavemen who live, naturally enough, in caves. Things start out in the trailor park and move to the caves and along the way they drift by a couple of lakes and a few wooded meadows. You know...the stuff of poems. Were that all this movie had to offer the title would have been a tad different and I would have passed it by. But it's not. Walking around and doing all sorts of things is a crowd of nekkid babes. I counted 10. Coulda been more. That's the good news. Bad news is only two or three are impressive and only one of them was recognizable.
Ahh, but that one. She used her real name of Lenore Rhein but she was known for severals years as Gigi Darlene. From 1962-1967 Gigi made a couple of dozen movies and she showed off a shape that, was all-natural and very impressive. Sad things are: 1) she disappeared from the nudie movie scene in 1967; 2) there's not a lot of images from her work out there in cyberspace. So I grabbed as many images as I could and constructed a bunch of collages. And on top of that I threw together frames of nine unknown topless gals. I am betting, based on her own bod, that the unknown #5 did a fair amount. Do let me know if you recognize her.
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Pat's comments in yellow...
10 SEXIEST MOVIE SCENES
Kids In The Gyllenhaal - A survey by the British DVD company Lovefilm
ranked the top 10 sexiest film scenes of all time. The oldest was #7,
Grace Kelly awakening Jimmy Stewart with a kiss in "Rear Window" (1954).
Classics included Michelle Pfeiffer writhing on a piano in "The Fabulous
Baker Boys" (#8) and Neve Campbell and Denise Richards washing a car in
"Wild Things" (#6). But the top of the list was more kinky: #3 was George
Clooney locking Jennifer Lopez in his car trunk in "Out of Sight," #2 was
the gay kiss in "Brokeback Mountain," and #1 was lawyer James Spader
spanking Maggie Gyllenhaal in "Secretary."
* That was kinky because we all know it's lawyers who need to be spanked.
* Once again, "Brokeback Mountain" came in second because it had Jake Gyllenhaal instead of Maggie Gyllenhaal.
* Locking J-Lo in a car trunk wasn't really sexy, but everyone just loved the idea.
* If this were an American list, the winners would've been "Romancing The Bone, volumes 1 through 10."
STONE'S DISTURBING NUDE SCENE
Thanks For Ruining The Surprise! - Sharon Stone says she has a full-frontal
nude scene about two-thirds of the way through "Basic Instinct 2," and she
insisted that it be put off for a while and when it arrived, it should be
done in a way that was startling, disturbing and threatening. She told the
London Evening Standard, "By the time the film is released, I will be 48,
and I wanted to do the nudity in a way that's quite brazen...I wanted the
audience to have a moment where they realize she's naked, and then realize
she's a fortysomething woman and naked."
*So Sharon opens her legs and pulls her driver's license out of her vagina.
* She announced this so nobody would think she's fiftysomething.
* Hollywood considers any naked 48-year-old woman to be startling, disturbing and threatening.
CHRISTINA WANTS TO WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS AT 60
Dirrty Old Lady - Christina Aguilera told Elle magazine that she hopes
she'll still be able to wear the bottomless chaps from her "Dirrty" video
when she's older. She said, "I'll whip them out when I'm 60, and
hopefully, I'll be able to get those suckers on."
* Good luck getting them on over the Depends.
* Then she could make a kinky western movie: "Broke-Hip Mountain."
* Christina, when you're 60 and walking around without pants, people just assume to forgot to put them on.
HAYES QUITS "SOUTH PARK" OVER SCIENTOLOGY
"Okay, Now Release My Family!" - Isaac Hayes, the voice of Chef, has quit
"South Park," saying the show has gone too far in ridiculing people's
religious beliefs. But co-creator Matt Stone said Hayes never complained
when they made fun of every other religion, only after they mocked his,
which is Scientology.
* They cruelly held it up to ridicule by recounting its beliefs
accurately.
* Or maybe Isaac is just a really big Tom Cruise fan.
* Ruben Studdard could use a gig.
NOTE! For fun facts on Scientology, see www.xenu.net. Now with a link to the new Rolling Stone article!
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