Tuesday

Tuna
"Walking Tall"

Walking Tall (1973) is based on the true life Tennessee sheriff Bufford Pusser, who became a legend by cleaning out all of the gambling, moonshine, prostitution and corruption nearly singlehandedly. Made for about $500K, the film was a runaway success grossing over $17M in the box office, and spawned two sequels and a short-lived TV show. Joe Don Baker is a professional wrestler who tires of being owned and manipulated by the promoters, so he and his family return to his home town to settle down to a more normal life. They soon discover that organized crime has moved in and paid off the law. Baker runs afoul of the bad guys when he catches them cheating at craps. The beat him up, then cut him up and leave him for dead.

This irritates Baker, especially when the law refuses to do anything, so he gets a big stick, goes to the den of iniquity, breaks some heads, and demands payment for the car they stole and other incidental expenses. He is arrested, but acquitted by jury, and decides to run for sheriff. Takes him a while to learn the job, and by the time they have shot him twice more, and killed his wife and dog, he gets downright peeved and gets even.

Dominick Mazzie is seen with a see through top and no bra. We get a brief glimpse of Brenda Benet's left breast as se is being arrested for prostitution, and buns and left breast from Lynn Borden when she is being beaten as a suspected police informant. IMBb readers have this at 6.3. I can't account for the success of this film. Production value was not there, the redneck hicks seemed more like real redneck hicks being paid to act, the plot was predictable, and it seemed very long at 125 minutes. It must be something to do with an underdog and good guy beating up on all the bad guys. Could also partially be backlash to the civil disobedience of the era. This is barely a C, but many people liked it.

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  • Brenda Benet (1, 2, 3)
  • Dominick Mazzie (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Lynn Borden (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Other Crap:

     

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

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    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

     

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Jr's Polls
    The most recent poll for Best Oscar Winning Nude Performance wasn't even close.

    To put it simply...Halle Berry kicked some ass.

    Here are the official poll results and comments.


    Here are the results of our most recent other polls...
    The Top 20 Nude Scenes of 2004

    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 80s

    The Best Nude Film Debuts of the 90s

    Which actress has been the most convincing playing a stripper.

    Who has the best bum in Hollywood?

    Best All Time Television Comedy

    Email Scoopy Jr. with nominees, comments or suggestions.


    Spaz
    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    "Coyote" (1992)
    The only reason to see this is to catch Mitsou Gélinas in the buff. The French-Canadian singer is currently on the English language CBC talking about Quebec culture. But she will always be remembered for making naughty music videos in the 1980s and 1990s where she's completely nude except for a strategically placed chair.

    • Mitsou Gelinas: partial boob. (1, 2, 3)
    • Jayne Heitmeyer: sexy in catsuit in her very first role.


    "Heads or Tails" (1971) aka Pile ou face
    French-Canadian softporn about a group of men and women who each try to score with the only woman at a swinging party to keep her clothes on. Lots of sex scenes but they are very dark. But there's enough disco bush in this movie to thatch a rug.

    Dann
    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "The Hillz"
    Paris Hilton plays Heather, a rich, stuck-up, money grubbing, pompous bitch (hmm.....was she acting?) in this 2004 comedy/drama about rich Boyz in the Hood wannabes who are spending the summer before going to college by terrorizing the city.

    Steve 5, a major league baseball prospect, would do anything to impress her and win her before going off to training camp. Although Steve's prospects for future income are good, Heather is hooked up with a rich frat boy, so she's not interested. Eventually, the group gets into so much stuff that Heather is the least of Steve's problems.

    There are parts of this flick that aren't bad, but basically, it's a mess: lame, poorly and overacted, appealing mainly to young teens. Paris Hilton's nip slip (see the collage) and numerous pokies may be the only high points (high points......get it?). You'll laugh more AT the movie than WITH the movie.

    Variety
    Sharon Stone
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Thanks go out to one of our favorite tabloids...The Sun. Here are some new pics of Stone topless at the beach (kinda looks like she's had a little boob work done). The paparazzi took these on March 9th in Bora Bora. I'm guessing she was there celebrating her birthday. She turned 47 on March 10th.

    Natalie Portman DeadRed takes a look at Portman and her thong views in "Closer".

    Eva Longoria
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    The paparazzi catch the sexy "Desperate Housewives" star in a bikini.

    Valentina Vargas
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    The Chilean native goes topless, bares her bum and gets it on with Christian Slater in scenes from "The Name of the Rose" (1986), starring Sean Connery and directed by Jean-Jacques Annaud ("Enemy at the Gates", "Seven Years in Tibet", "The Lover").

    Noémie Godin-Vigneau
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)

    The French-Canadian actress baring all 3 B's in scenes from "Je n'aime que toi" (2004). 'Caps by Frenchpic.

    Reese Witherspoon
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the "Legally Blonde" star's first and only on screen toplessness. Scenes from the 1998 movie, "Twilight".

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    JACKSON'S FINANCES SCRUTINIZED
    He Could Pay Off Five More Kids! - Michael Jackson's prosecutors say they suspect he's $700 million in debt and facing bankruptcy, which could be a motive for him allegedly trying to silence his accuser's family. But Fox News reporter Roger Friedman says they're wrong: Michael's advisors are working on a bail-out deal that would pay all his debts and leave him $100 million cash plus $8 million a year income.

  • And that should last him nearly three years.
  • That's not enough to cover the giraffe food!
  • Wow! Where can I get a refinance deal like that?!
  • The $100 million will be his plastic surgery account.


    McDONALD'S TO OUTSOURCE DRIVE-THROUGHS
    But We'll Still Use 39-Cent Microphones - McDonald's announced that they are outsourcing their drive-through orders. They plan to use remote call centers staffed by professionals with "very strong communication skills," who will take your order, then relay it to the cooks at the McDonald's where you're in line. They think this will speed the line and boost accuracy. Their CEO said, "If you're in L.A., and you hear a person with a North Dakota accent taking your order, you'll know what we're up to."

  • Or more likely, if you hear a Sri Lankan accent...
  • You'll order a Big Mac and get a bag of babaganoosh.
  • But if you're in North Dakota and hear someone with an L.A. accent, forget about getting the correct order.
  • Also, to save money, your burger will be assembled in India and flown in.